Janet sighed and rested her head on Jack's shoulder. "No luck."
"She didn't go for it?" Jack twirled a strand of Janet's hair around his finger.
"No. Just looked at me like I'd grown a third head -"
"Pun intended?"
Janet chuckled. "I thought maybe she'd be okay with it if it was just the two of us."
"Well, that, and who needs a plastic cock when you've got a live one right there for you," Jack said, smirking.
Janet stared at him. "Plenty of women."
"Ouch."
"Maybe we're going about this wrong," Janet said, rubbing his chest lightly through his shirt. "We keep putting her on the spot, and that's not working."
Jack thought for a minute. "You could leave some accessories in her locker. See what she makes of them."
"She'd probably research them for hours," Janet murmured, leaning up to kiss Jack's chin. "And if she's interested, she'll come to us."
"See, simple," Jack agreed. "Nothing can go wrong with that plan."
---
Jack was getting a flu shot from a nurse when Sam peeked around the curtain.
"Did you leave stuff in my locker?" she asked, with an unreadable expression.
Jack blinked, cursing his luck. "Er, yeah. But not just me. Janet's just as respons.. I mean, they're gifts. From Janet and me. Both of us."
"Oh, okay. Let me just get her, then." She disappeared behind the curtain and Jack exhaled shakily. A few minutes later, Janet was sitting next to him on the bed, looking every bit as comfortable as he did. ÊWhatever they had been thinking, discussing this in the infirmary was not a part of it.
"Okay, well, thanks for everything," Sam said, standing in front of them and smiling. "I know I don't always show that I like romance, but... the candles, that was really sweet. Maybe we can light them the next time ..." She blushed. "You know."
Jack looked at Janet, mouthing 'candles?'.
She shrugged and smiled. "Sure, honey. That sounds great."
"And I really want to thank you for this..." Sam said, fishing a pair of nipple clamps connected by a small silver chain out of her pocket. "Which one of you came up with it?"
"Her," Jack said, firmly. "Definitely her."
"Well, I love it." Sam beamed at them, and Janet raised her eyebrows.
"You do?"
"Oh, yeah. Such a great solution to my laundry problem. I can't believe I've never thought of it."
Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Your... laundry problem?"
Sam smiled. "Yeah. I didn't want to whine about it, Sir, but I keep losing my clothespins, and it's damned hard to hang a pair of fatigues to dry with just one of them. This way, they're sticking together." She turned to Janet. "I'm going to talk to the guys at the supply depot about this. They should really be standard issue on away missions."
Jack choked back a spurt of laughter. Janet elbowed him subtly and then nodded at Sam. "Well, I'm glad you find them so useful. That was our idea."
"Oh, they're perfect," Sam assured them both. "There was one thing I had a question about, though."
Janet looked at Jack, who looked to be biting the insides of his cheeks to not start laughing. "Yeah, honey? What's that?"
"I love that you guys are trying to show an interest in science..." Sam's hand disappeared into her pocket again, and then returned with a string of beads. "... but I can't figure out for the life of me what molecule this is supposed to be."
Looking at Sam's hopeful, curious face, Janet and Jack lasted exactly two seconds before they started laughing uncontrollably.