 |
 |
||||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|||
 |
|
||||||
 |
|
||||||
 |
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
Author: Rysler
Email: strmscalm@aol.com
Rating: NC17
Pairings: Sam/Janet, first time
Category: PWP, mild hurt/comfort
Date: 04/12/04
Website: http://www.hnoiyika.com/SG1
Disclaimer: MGM owns them. I just have the calendar.
Archive: With author's permission.
Summary: Sam and Janet want to consummate their relationship, but the universe is against them.
Notes: I was inspired to write this after finishing "Bits and Pieces" by Pink Rabbit and being, erm... horny.
"And I thought that if we met,
I would only start confessing
And they'd know that I was scared
They'd would know that I was guessing
But the wall came down
And there they stood before me."
- Dar Williams, "What Do You Hear in These Sounds?"
"Sam."
There it was again. That caramel voice floating over me, sticking to me like gooey sugar, trapping me like an innocent, helpless fly. At the sound of her voice I looked up into her black widow eyes. She was smiling at me. She was holding my hand.
"Do I need to lecture you on how to pull a trigger, Sam?" She turned my hand over, checking the bandage she'd just applied to my index finger. "No more tearing your skin because you're in too much of a hurry to shoot someone, okay?"
I could smell her perfume. I could feel the warmth radiating from her body, and from the brilliant smile she flashed at me. I only managed a grin, trying to be lighthearted. "Okay."
She moved onto to the next patient, and still I sat at the exam table. I knew what I was feeling, and I didn't like it. Jealousy. I was just another dumb, injured soldier. She probably thought of me as a head of cattle. She barely knew I was alive, and so it was cruel of her to roll my name off her tongue like she was indulging in Penfolds 2001 shiraz cabernet. She was cruel to touch me with a caress, and then move on to the lieutenant next to me like the brush against my skin had never happened.
It wasn't nothing. My heart was pounding to prove it. I watched Janet work a moment more, dumbstruck with her tenderness, wishing it all for myself. I knew I'd never have it. The chances that the only two women of senior rank at the SGC were lesbians was infinitesimal. The chances that Janet would see anything to like in a nerdy flyboy like me--even smaller. The chance that either of us would make a move under the watchful gaze of the United States Air Force--statistical zero. I knew probability.
I wandered out, back to my lab, to stew in lonely resentfulness. Scientists had feelings, too! Wildly inappropriate, maddening feelings. The ache in my finger was a welcome distraction, and a reminder of where Janet had been. Injury was all I had to tie me to her. Sick, Sam. Real sick.
When I had decided I could go home without the world ending, and was heading out to my car, I ran into her. Her face lit up at the sight of me. I wish you wouldn't do that, I thought, as Janet moved closer to me. She took my hand in hers, examining the bandage.
I had meant to say something clever, like, Well, Janet, am I going to live? But it only came out, "Janet..."
She looked up into my face with smoldering dark eyes, and suddenly lightning began flashing in my brain, displaying memories for me. There were times when I'd walked into a room and her face had brightened, and moments where she'd held into me just a little bit longer than necessary, and missions where she'd stayed at my side, helping me, even though she didn't know a thing about physics.
Holy shit. I saw that same fear, that same list of a thousand reasons to say no, reflected in her eyes. Then, she looked away.
I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder. She looked back at me. I bent my head, lowering my lips toward her, tasting her breath, visible in the clear Colorado winter night...
*Beep!*
Two beepers went off simultaneously. We looked at each other helplessly, and began running back to command.
* * *
Janet's patient had taken a turn for the worst, and our mission to take him to the Tok'ra had been moved up ASAP. He was another volunteer, younger than my father, but with a fatal illness. He had been a quiet and sensitive supply clerk under Siler's command, and would fit in well with the Tok'ra. Much better than Dad, I had to chuckle. The poor Tok'ra, they were apprehensive to take on another joining with a Tauri, and it showed.
However, the Tauri, as usual, had the advantage, the Tok'ra had consented, and portable medical unit was being rolled down the hallway. Doctor Fraiser and SG1 trailed behind it and the nurses, at least until Janet touched my arm. "Damn it, I forgot something," she said. "Sam, can you help me?"
I nodded, the guys waved, and I allowed myself to be dragged back toward the infirmary. Only we never made it, instead she yanked me into a supply closet, and there, in the half darkness, she searched my face.
"Is this...for real, Sam?" She asked me.
I nodded, and swallowed hard.
She stepped closer.
I drew her into a hug--not our first hug, but it was a brand new experience, and my heart pounded in my chest. The moment was brief, seconds later she stepped back, stood on her toes to brush her lips against my mouth, and then led me back out into the bright hallway.
The mission came first.
* * *
Long hours later, I threw myself onto the marble slab that would serve as my bed as long as I stayed with the Tok'ra. The stone was hard, and the munitions in my trouser pockets pressed into me, but I didn't care. I was prone, that's all that mattered.
Drool pooled at my cheek as I tried to relax, and let the day slip away. In truth, I hadn't done much more than monitor vital signs with Janet, and chew the fat with the Tok'ra leaders, but it had been stressful all the same. Being around the Tok'ra was always nerve-wracking. They knew too much about me already, and they wanted to know more. They left me feeling exposed, bitter, and angry.
Having Janet smile at me from time to time made things bearable, but I missed Jack's wisecracks to lighten the situation and Teal'c's ability to present himself as a wall between the world and me. After they, too, had been interrogated by the Tok'ra, and had determined that the Goa'uld weren't going to attack imminently, they had gone back to Earth. Lucky bastards.
I groaned. The extra clip under my hip was really starting to hurt. I'd never get to sleep like this.
A hand touched my bottom.
"Wha--?" I started.
"Shsssh." Janet's voice.
I grunted.
Janet's hand continued to stroke my rump, rather like the doctor was consoling a sullen puppy.
"Janet..."
"Yes, Sam?"
"I'm very tired." I said, pitifully. "Cure me."
She chuckled, a deep, throaty sound. Then she reached for my belt, yanking me over by my waist onto my back.
I looked up at her, surprised at her strength, and a little spooked. She placed a finger on my lips. "Shsssh."
I stayed quiet, as her long, slender fingers unfastened my belt. "Sam, I want you to know," she began, "That just because I know you have feelings for me today, doesn't mean that my own are necessarily new..." She slipped the extra clip out of my pocket and reached for my fly. "I've been thinking about you for a long time."
"I've been thinking about you, too," I ventured hoarsely, as she undid a second button on my fly. "Um, Janet..." I was too weak to reach up to stop her hands, but I kind of wriggled, to indicate where I was going to focus my conversation. "What the hell are you doing?" The third and fourth buttons were freed. Blood was rushing to my nether regions, leaving the rest of me pale and faint and pliant. Just how she wanted me.
"This will help you sleep," she murmured, and slipped her hand inside my pants.
For a moment, I looked at her in shock. I hadn't been serious about asking for a cure... was she? Then I saw the impish curl of her lips. I grinned stupidly at her in spite of myself. She rubbed my belly, and then moved lower, over the cotton of my jockeys. All rational thought was fleeing from my brain, but a last pondering grabbed me, and made my blood run suddenly cold, except for the burning where her hand touched me. "Janet..." I tried to vocalize. "The Tok'ra don't have doors."
"There's no one around, Sam," she admonished, and her hand pressed into my mound.
I gave up all pretense at talking her out of whatever she was doing, and let my head loll back on the cool marble. She massaged me through my underwear, and I could tell she was reveling in the heat and wetness she found by the murmurs of pleasure she was making.
My clitoris throbbed; I spread my legs as wide as I could, which was only an inch or so in the confining cotton of my uniform. I tried to give into the nurturing, to Janet's tenderness, and love, and forget the cold rock under me. I rolled my head to see her face. She was smiling, a sense of peace touching her features. Her eyes met mine.
I found the strength to grab her wrist, and yank it free from my pants. I growled.
Her smile grew more radiant as she allowed me to guide her fingers under my underwear, and to the place where I needed her most. My nerves were spasming, and just a few strokes from her eager, searching fingers would bring me to orgasm. My face was flushed with exertion. She leaned toward, me, her lips parting...
Footsteps.
She quickly yanked her hand away, causing me to yelp with the shock of the sudden lack of stimulation. I felt exposed as cool air brushed against me where Janet's warmth had been. I sat up quickly, covering my crotch with my hands just before a Tok'ra guard stepped into view.
"Something is happening, doctor," he spoke in a vibrating voice to Janet. "We request that you come quickly."
She stood, quickly wiping her hand on her BDU undershirt, and hurried out with him. She was all business now.
I fell back onto the marble slab with a sigh, not even bothering to fix my pants for the moment. Janet had taken far too much pleasure in conducting that little scene, I realized. So, she liked to be in control. I was just her blond for the week. Well, well. I made a vow--Janet would be the one to come first, if I had any say at all.
* * *
I didn't know I had fallen asleep until a klaxon woke me up. Figures I'd sleep anywhere, even overtired and overstimulated. My mouth was full of cotton as I jumped up from the slab, reaching for my P90. Before I could grab it, I buttoned up my trousers.
By the time I was at the cave opening, a Tok'ra was there to meet me. "Major Carter, the Goa'uld have been spotted."
"What the fuck? How?" I demanded of him.
He looked apologetic, but determined, as he led me down the hallway. "It appears to be a glider, one of our guards on the surface was careless, and he was spotted."
The klaxons were constant, punctuated every few minutes with the rumbling sound of blast impact, as the glider circled around for its shots. Some of the impacts were close enough to cause crystals to flake from the ceiling, but some were further away, leading me to believe that the glider was just dropping depth charges. He had no idea where we were. There was still time. I kept my hand on the trigger of my rifle, and looked for evil in every harried face that rushed past us.
The Tok'ra escorted me to the chamber where Janet and her patient were. The airman's eyes were open, and flashed coronal white when he saw me.
"Everything's good here," Janet said to me. "He can be evacuated safely." Her voice was confident and strong, as if the world wasn't crumbling to dust around her, as if she could hold the ceiling up with the sheer force of her will. The guard immediately moved to the airman's side, and helped him up. They stumbled out. Another blast rattled the alcove, as I moved to Janet's side. She took my hand, and with the P90 in my other hand, we moved out.
* * *
I don't know how it happened, it was so sudden-one moment we could see the light at the end of the tunnel, literally. The next, we were trapped behind a mass of boulders, covered in dust that choked us.
I had Janet tightly in my arms, trying to shield her with my larger form from the brunt of the blast, but still I had to ask, worriedly, when the world stopped shaking, "Are you all right?"
"Yeah." She coughed, hoarsely, into my flak vest. I squeezed her tightly for a moment, before stepping back to assess the situation. Noises beyond the cave were constant-Running, shouting, weapons fire.
I tapped my radio. "What's the situation? Janet and I are trapped."
"There's a ground force," the newly Tok'ra-ed airman responded on his own radio, warbling in the stereo voice of the symbiote. "Stay off the radio. We'll get you if we can."
I looked at Janet in the dim light. Her black eyes were scared, but calm. She looked even smaller than usual in green camouflage BDUs, like a child playing grownup with my father's clothes. A smear of blood touched her cheek, and her hair was tousled.
She looked more beautiful to me than she ever had before, and I swallowed, trying to suppress inappropriate urges. I told myself it was because she, the unflappable, cold core of Stargate base operations, was now vulnerable, accessible to my soldiering, protective nature, even as she looked around the collapsed tunnel. Her expression was intelligent and determined.
The way we had come was now blocked by the crystal technology that closed off the tunnels to invaders. The way in front of us was passable if we moved boulders, but that would be a useless course of action if we walked right into waiting Goa'uld. Janet had come to the same conclusion, I could tell in her face as she finally looked back at me. Death, or rescue, it was out of our hands. We were helpless to do anything but wait.
I stepped toward her, and she met me halfway, sliding her arms around my waist, sighing into my shoulder. She and I had no tears, only a sense of resignation, and gratitude, that at least we had been granted this moment together.
I pressed soft kisses into her hair, and she held me tighter. I didn't know what to say, so I ran my hands up and down her back, trying to offer what comfort I could. "Janet, I-" I mumbled against the top of her head. Janet, I love you. I need you. I don't want you to die without knowing. I choked.
Her hands were moving on me now, and as I stuttered, her grip slid to my rear. My breath caught in my throat. I felt suddenly guilty, as the radio crackled wordlessly. "I should be saving you," I murmured, lifting my head to look down at Janet.
She looked up at me. "Save me, then," she chided, reaching up to bury her fingers in my dirty, blond hair, and drag my head down for a kiss.
Our mouths met, and tangled, and her tongue entered me, possessively. Heat rushed through my body and I dimly remembered I had made a promise to myself when it came to this sort of situation, but damned if I could remember with her hot, wet tongue dueling with mine. For a moment, there was only Janet. No dust, no fear, no blood, only her warmth filling me. I moaned against her lips. Then her fingers found my belt, and the touch-memory reminded me of my pact.
"No," I said. Her fingers stopped immediately, as she stopped, her mouth sliding from mine, her head lolling back to look me in confusion and concern. I smiled at her, to let her know everything was all right, even as I stepped out of her personal space, a breeze passing between us, so that I could reach for the snaps of her vest.
"Sam," she said warningly, as I opened her vest. "I want-"
"I know," I cut her off. "But you're not getting it." I pushed the tactical vest off her shoulders.
Janet gave me a stern look. That You will take these two pills, and you will call me in the morning, or I'll break the door of your house down Look, but I ignored it, though, to be honest, I quivered. Touching her was like building a naquada bomb-powerful, agile, beautiful, but she'd destroy me if I wasn't good enough. I slid my hands under her shirt and caressed her. I would be good enough. I stepped closer.
She tried another tactic, as my palms found her breasts. "Your eyes, Sam," she said, her words catching as I stroked her nipples. I tugged on them, rolling them between my fingers. "You're so dusty right now, and it's dark, but looking into your eyes I see a clear sea, dolphins frolicking, at peace." I froze at that, my hand squeezing her until she groaned. I wanted to ask her what the hell she meant.
Footsteps and shouts were closer now. I was determined not to be deterred from my mission.
"That's what I love about you, Sam. You're so at peace with your emotions. You're not afraid of them. You let them out. I wish-"
But I didn't hear any more. She'd said it. Those three words ran in my ears and deafened me, more than the explosions of a thousand tons of rock. I fell to my knees.
Janet was still rambling, babbling a torrent against the forces of death. I pressed my cheek against her belly, and her hands found my hair. I was still for a moment, but squatting had pressed my trousers against my center, and the congestion there reminded me of my need. I had to have her, or die trying. The odds seemed fifty-fifty.
I worked her belt free and then unbuttoned her BDU pants with the precision only a nuclear physicist, or a surgeon, can achieve. Her hands clenched my hair, almost painfully, as I yanked the wool down to her ankles, along with her underwear. I was physically closer to Janet than I'd ever been, and I could see the dewy drops of arousal clinging to scarlet curls. I gaped for a moment, taking her in, until Janet's fingers tightened in my hair pushed me forward.
I'd always considered Janet less prone to haste and action than myself, but there was no thoughtfulness in the way she tugged, only need. I chafed at having demands made upon me, but knowing that wetness, that desire, was for me, I conceded. Just this once. I buried my face in Janet's center, stretching out my tongue to taste her. As my tongue caressed her, I felt weak with the intimacy involved in her permission, granting me this access, this touch.
I clutched her thighs to keep from collapsing, amazed that it was her strength holding me up as I slipped inside her, lightly penetrating her with my warm tongue, before licking my way back to her clitoris. I sucked it into my mouth, my head bobbing rapidly, grinding into her, until she tensed, and screamed, gripping my hair to the point of pain.
There was an answering yell, as she sagged against me, sliding to her knees, too. I held her close, my head already lifting, alert to the new sound. The yell came again, and then the sound of rocks shifting.
I stood, scrubbing my face with the back of my hand, leaving Janet to yank up her pants. I yelled back, and then a flashlight shown in my face, blinding me.
"Hey, Carter," came Jack's voice. "You two having a good time in there?"
* * *
I leaned over the small mirror that usually held powder samples in my lab, and fluffed my hair. I tilted my head to the right, and to the left, and was about to tilt back so I could look up my nostrils, when I heard a voice behind me.
"Carter, are you looking at yourself in the mirror?" Jack sounded incredulous, and more than a little outraged.
I quickly looked up at him, searching for a clever comeback. "Uh...no?"
He sidled over, and peered over my shoulder at the mirror. "Hot date?"
I avoided his gaze.
Jack was not to be deterred. "Who is he?"
"You don't know... them," I managed to get out. I tried to sound convincing, but apparently, I failed.
"Ah, the pronoun game," he said, lifting his nose. "Who is she?" He clapped me on the back. "Thank you, Carter, now I'm up $20."
I finally turned to face him, throwing the full force of my evil Sam glower at him. His grin grew wider. He leaned forward, conspiratorially. "Double or nothing if it's Janet."
This time my glare, mixed with crimson blushing, was enough to send him dancing out of my lab. A hysterical giggle escaped my lips before I was able to get a grip, grab my gear, and begin the argument to convince myself I was an army of one, not a horny teenager.
* * *
I was settled into the guest chair in Janet's office. She was smiling at me. I was smiling back. We were sharing a laugh over the haste and bravado of the last mission. I told her what Jack had said, and she only winked. The adrenaline was wearing off, the stress was ebbing, and we sagged in our chairs like limp noodles. And we were giggling. "What do normal people do?" I asked. Janet was far more normal than me.
She leaned toward me, and murmured, "Three dates. You buy dinner. Before you even think of touching me again, flyboy."
I blushed, and the klaxons went off, red flickering lights echoing the tint of my skin.
"Unauthorized Off-World Activation" came over the loudspeakers.
I looked at Janet with panic in my eyes, knowing with those terms, I'd never get laid again. "Can we negotiate?"
