Author: Rysler
Email: strmscalm@aol.com
Rating: NC-17 (Warning: m/m mutual masturbation)
Pairings: Stargate SG1: Sam/Janet, first time, Teal'c/Jack, established relationship
Category: Song fic, PWP, Parody
Date: 03/16/04
Website: http://www.hnoiyika.com/SG1
Disclaimer: MGM owns them. I just have the calendar.
Summary: Love in an elevator
Notes: A Challenge response for Ladies_of_the_Stars, trying to incorporate as many bad sex pet peeves as possible (except for misspellings, I just...couldn't). Special thanks to Rocketchick. If anything in here is too perverse to read, she probably suggested it.
~In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again?
For now I find ...~
Janet stepped into the elevator that would take her 28 floors deep into the planet's surface, plunging to the core, where she could get her work as a momma to all the hard, sweaty military men. She hoped today wasn't as bad as yesterday, when she had to perform a vasectomy on that poor woman who had been rushed in from off-world with a sucking chest wound.
She got flushed every time the elevator thrust downward, penetrating Mother Earth. She reached up to rub her nipple, tweaking the clamp biting it tightly, shuddering at the delicious, constant pain. This glorious morning, she was alone with the shaft, and 28 floors was just enough time to--
"Wait!"
Janet instinctively stuck her hand between the sliding doors of the elevator to stop it, and looked over to see a shaggy blond running toward her. Major Samantha Carter was still in her civvies, but immaculately tasteful and well dressed, as usual, and she was trying haphazardly to tuck her car keys into her little pink purse as she ran.
Janet sighed. No quickie today. Unless--She studied Samantha thoughtfully. She'd never done it with a chick before, but Sam was muscled and tall, almost like a man, so she had to be gay. That's why she spent all that time with Daniel. Beneath that bright red lipstick, there was a bull in Sam just waiting to make a mark, waiting to pin her to the wall and--
~Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet~
The elevator lurched and began it's descent, and Janet used the momentary jolt to throw herself into Samantha's arms.
"Major Carter?"
Major Carter looked up at the woman leaning against her, discomfited by the softness of her generous bosom and the warmth of her skin. She flushed. "Yes, Doctor Fraiser?"
"Are you a lesbian?"
Samantha gawked. "I--I never really thought--" Her words were cut off as Janet stuck her tongue down Samantha's throat, kissing her with the most passionate kiss either of them had ever known.
"Are you now?"
"Sure."
"Touch me, Major Carter," Janet begged as she leaned back against the wall again. She hit the emergency stop on the elevator, and the resulting lurch threw Samantha against her. "Touch my vagina now! I have to have an orgasm!"
Samantha yanked up the hem of Janet's skirt and thrust her hand underneath, rubbing frantically at Janet's copious, moist womanhood through her pungent nylons. Janet sagged against her, humping her, panting "Yes, Major Carter, please, Major, do me, pleeeeease" in her ear.
In all your fantasies you always knew
That man and mystery
Were both in you ~
...Jack burst into the security office, his gaze going right to the cameras. "Aw, they already started?"
"You are late, ColonelONeill." Teal'c already had his massive black dick out, and was eagerly beating it.
"For crying out loud, can't ole Doc Fraiser wait for two sec--Hey, is that Major Carter?"
"Indeed," Teal'c replied, rubbing precum from is oozing slit into his sleek, thick shaft. "It appears Janet has switched sides."
"Damn," Jack said, as he sat down in the folding chair next to Teal'c. "I was hoping she'd be blowing Siler again. He has the biggest meat I've ever seen." Jack undid the front of his pants and yanked out his own stiffie.
Teal'c look pointedly at Jack's lap, then his own, and raised a meaningful eyebrow.
"Except for you, buddy. I meant, you know, for a human." Jack was hoarse as he grabbed at himself.
Teal'c nodded contentedly, and turned his attention back to the monitors...
...With the deep lesbian love of women welling up inside her for the first time ever, Sam was no longer content just to feel Janet with her slick fingers. She had to have more. She knelt to bury her face in Janet's pantied mound, digging her tongue into Janet's soaked hole as far as it would go, which was pretty far.
~Sing, my Angel of Music!~Janet screamed so loud the base could hear her as she came with the force of a thousand exploding suns, drenching Sam's face, ruining her makeup with her copious love juices. "Oh God!" Janet panted. "You are so fucking great, Major Carter!"
... Daniel poked again at the elevator button, wondering what was taking the elevator so damn long. Inevitably, when the lift was slow, it was because Janet was riding it. She always emerged flushed, like she had a cold. Daniel wondered what she could possibly be doing. Often she was with a man, sometimes with as many as four or five, but it was those times when she was alone that most concerned Daniel for his friend. She would wink at him and walk away like she had an itch...down there.
Daniel, on the other hand, never had an itch down there. He despaired. He often saw Teal'c and Jack winking at each other, sneaking off into huts off-world, or into the security room. Sometimes he spied on them, and watched their tender, manly expressions of love with a deep longing. His dick was still too shy and small to be of much use to such mighty warriors, and so he was sad...
...When Janet had come, she had knocked the override button and the elevator was now moving swiftly to its desired end. She pushed Samantha off her and straightened her skirt, purring happily.
"Hey, Doctor Fraiser, aren't you going to get me off?" Samantha gurgled through the copious love juices still coating her face.
"Sorry, honey, gotta get to work." Janet shrugged, and as the doors opened, swiftly exited the elevator, slapping Daniel on the butt.
Daniel peeked inside the elevator. "Sam? Why is your makeup all messed up?"
"Got the shaft, Daniel," Samantha muttered. "She gave me the shaft." Samantha shook her head and wandered down the hall.
