Off the Record, For the Record, Pt. 2 - Matsumura/Alexander

Duty and Personal Logs from the Phoenix Crew.

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Off the Record, For the Record, Pt. 2 - Matsumura/Alexander

Postby Red » Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:28 pm

Off the Record, For the Record, Pt. 2
LCDR Charlotte Matsumura
ADM Malcolm Alexander (NPC)

“So what are we going to do?”

Charlotte blinked. “Do?” The evening had thus far passed without incident, a comfortable evening between two friends. They sat now in the living room of her flat, chatting over a cup of tea, a fire crackling in the fireplace before them. She knew it was an inevitable conversation. But, after such an enjoyable evening, she hesitated to shatter the mood. Her eyes diverted down to her tea cup.

Beside her, Malcolm turned on the sofa cushion, adjusting so that he could look directly at her. “You know bloody well what I’m talking about,” he said gently. “It’s the reason I’m here, after all.”

She drew a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. “Mal, I’m not even sure I’m ready to talk about this. Talking about it implies that I know what I’m feeling and, quite honestly, it’s all just… a jumble.”

Leaning forward, Charlotte placed her empty tea cup and saucer onto the coffee table. Malcolm watched her, lips pursed. “I mean, is this a continuation of that silly high school crush I had on you? Is it – could it be something more meaningful, more…permanent?” She shook her head. “I just don’t know. And I don’t want to blow it by speaking out of turn.”

Alexander nodded slowly, as though the same thoughts had also occurred to him. “There’s certainly too much at risk here to be less than certain.” His lips thinned. Though relationships were permitted on ships and shore stations, relationships within the chain of command were frowned upon – and rarely involved the head of a directorate and a more junior officer. He could never ask Charlotte to quit; working was as essential as breathing to her. And, unfortunately, he wasn’t quite ready to retire. The day was approaching, yes, but not yet arrived.

“To leap head first wouldn’t be fair to either of us,” she said, breaking into his thoughts. “I…have an idea where this might lead, and we both need to be sure. You were a friend first, Mal, and I refuse to sacrifice that – not if this is just some schoolgirl fascination.” There was, they both noted, no mention of sacrificing her career. One step at a time, she thought.

The laugh that emerged from his throat at this was at once bitter and amused. “I’m hardly a schoolgirl, Charlotte; in fact, I’m quite capable of deciding what I feel. And what I feel --” He stopped, shaking his head. Too soon. Far too soon. Reaching with one hand, he placed it gently against her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly across her cheekbone. “Let’s just say that I’m looking for something more…’meaningful.’ ‘Permanent’ is something that comes later, if ‘meaningful’ works out. I just… I want you to be sure this is what you want, Lottie. But neither of us are ever going to find out if we don’t try.”

Charlotte gave him a rueful smile. She reached up and took his hand from her cheek, holding it with her own. “But what happens if we try and it doesn’t work out?”

“What happens if we don’t try, and we never know? Charlotte, love, whatever is going on here – it’s already affected the way we interact. Either way, we risk our friendship.”

Feeling her eyes sting, Lottie nodded. There were no tears, however; she had too much control over herself to allow that. “So good in the field, but at home…” She let the sentence hang, shaking her head. She gave her own half-bitter laugh. “I need a life, Mal.”

“Then take one,” he said, chuckling. “Once you’ve made your mind up to do something, Charlotte, I’ve never seen you fail.”

“I know.” She sighed, looking back up at him. Her dark eyes searched his, noting the same roiling conflict in the green depths she felt, including the intense fear that seemed to seize her heart at this exact moment. He, however, wasn’t letting that fear of uncertainty stop him. She envied that self confidence. It was something she knew she was lacking off the battlefield.

Another moment passed and then slowly – very slowly – she leant forward and brushed her lips against his; he responded by drawing her closer. For better or worse, the decision, it seemed, had been made.

(( ::closes eyes and clicks "Submit":: ))
MCAPT Katja Romany
USS Daystrom
LCDR Charlotte Matsumura
Starfleet Intelligence
USS Phoenix

Posts: 59
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:51 pm
Location: USS Daystrom/USS Phoenix

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