FKA USS Freedom 07-06-02- "Rats Escaping a Sinking Tran

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FKA USS Freedom 07-06-02- "Rats Escaping a Sinking Tran

Postby Murray » Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:33 pm

Rats Escaping a Sinking Transporter

Chaos ensues as the away team prepares to beam down to the surface (they finally fixed the transporter). Half's living ornaments cause problems when unleashed on the crew, and Falken has some fun with the transporter. But the crew finally get together and beam down.

What will they find?

Captain's Log

It never ends.

Hearing that we finally got a decent mission, *and* hearing the transporter is finally safe enough for use, I thought we were on a roll. Unfortunetly, lucky streaks never seem to last long. I was with the first away team, Half, Lott, Falken, and Dover as they entered the transporter room. Half, however, had rats hanging from her breasts again. She calls it a "Klingon thing," even though she had gotten rid of her ridges. I never heard of such a thing, and ordered her to get rid of them. She did, and they jumped on me! Amazing how they always go for the more sensitive parts of your anatomy. For once, it's a good thing I'm not in a relationship.

It seemed like an eternity before Falken got to the transporter and beamed the rats into a cage. Unfortunetly, he also beamed my pants into them. The replicator just *had* to pick this day to produce only heart-pattern undies. Falken then tried to beam the cage into space, but thanks to the transporter safety protocols of not beaming anything live into space, the cage and pants were beamed out, but the rats remained. This time they went after Ben Dover. Falken tried shooting at them with his phaser on stun, but missed and hit Dover in the "family jewels," causing him to pass out from the pain. Lott then stepped in, or rather slithered in, grabbing the rodents, and disposing of them in her serpintine gastro-intestinal fashion.

Just after I had the replicator here make me another pair of pants, Falken decided to beam something else out of the room: me. I ended up with my face in the steak I had been saving for Lynx. I then commed the team via a viewscreen, and ordered them to stop the fooling around and beam down. They finally did.

Finally, the mission is under way. Finally, a chance to explore a primitive world.

Hmmm, the redshirt at the science station just sent me an updated map of the place. I wonder if he found some ...

Well now, looks the place has some civilization after all.
Murray M. Lee
A Writer's Block
- Science Fiction stories, jokes, and art
USS Freedom
The Misadventures of the wackiest ship in Starfleet
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