DEFYING GRAVITY – JEN/ZOE

Honesty, Honor and Love

docwho2100

Title: Honesty, Honor and Love

Written for the Missing Scene Challenge – http://community.livejournal.com/defygravity_fem/21284.html

Author: docwho2100

Spoiler: episodes 1 – 8

Rating: Strong R with the promise of NC–17

Pairing: Jen/Zoe – Defying Gravity

Author’s Notes:

OK – so this just came pouring out. Thank you LiveJournal Defygravity_Fem 1x08 Missing Scene challenge

I never would have written this without that. And yes I left it in a place, that someone else can continue or maybe I will. This might be a nice place to diverge from the series : )

Hope you enjoy

Honesty, Honor and Love

docwho2100 and ellie–no–name

“Damn it Jen, why are you so determined to throw both of our lives away over that damn rabbit?” Zoe threw over her shoulder as they both sprinted back to where they had begun.

“I, you wouldn’t…”

“Don’t give me that shit, this is more than what you told me last time.” Zoe fired back, ripping open the lockers and pulling out the blankets as the sirens continued to blare. “I just opened myself to you about my dream. What happened to that promise so long ago about always going back, being there for each other and screw what anyone else says or thinks? I want honesty.”

Jen was using her hands, the samples and Rufus stuffed in her flightsuit as she took the blankets looking around the lab. “Over here, next to the hydroponics. Maybe we can…”

“Don’t you dare say it, just get down on the floor and hold me tight.”

Jen froze, just blinking at Zoe.

“Jen, come on already… Jen?”

“I, I thought I saw the plants moving…” She looked at Zoe, “Ok, fine, honesty. No it is not that. I… I haven’t been wearing the HALOS, like I told you and well… I have been having thoughts and feelings for…”

“Under the blankets and then you can bare your soul to me.” Zoe chanced an extra second and stepped in close to Jen, not sure why she was doing this, but drawn to the action as she used the back of her fingers to brush once along Jen’s cheek.

The action had the effect she desired as the biologist took in a deep breath, but immediately began to move, taking the other corner of the blanket and dropping to the floor. She put one blanket under them, then laid down, Zoe snuggling tight as the two women began to wrap themselves in the blankets, leaving only enough pocket space so they would not be totally rebreathing each other’s air.

“I don’t want to die.”

Zoe had closed her eyes as the signal told them the flare was beginning. Jen’s statement caused her eyes to pop open, the intense green eyes meeting hers, Zoe able to see tears. “I didn’t mean, I thought I could save him, just like I thought I could save you.”

The geologist managed to bring her hand up, catching a tear. “You always have been there to save me Jen. I never would have made it to here without you.”

“And now I killed you,” Jen choked, the emotion hurting her physically as she shook, having voiced what she finally realized she had done. She’d been so wrapped up in not being left alone and trying to have something she had created that she had not been using her normal reserve, sense and logic. “Some scientist I am. I am so sorry Zoe, I… MMFPHF…”

Jen’s words were cut off as Zoe’s lips covered hers, not quite kissing, more just stopping her from talking. Surprised, she just lay there.

As Jen stopped, Zoe now dared to turn her action into a proper kiss, the affection delivered slow, hesitant, the woman now feeling her nerves wrap her stomach in a knot as she hoped to whatever that this was not the wrong thing to do and scare Jen back into her shell..

Almost ready to stop, she found her nerves ease as Jen began kissing her back, lips slowly parting and slipping more along Zoe’s lower lip. Jen’s hand shifted up, holding the other’s shoulder as she leaned in, using the move to apply more pressure, although the pace was still slow, uncertain, for them both.

She pulled back after a moment, smiling as she licked her lips. “I had to shut you up, it was that or slap you.”

Jen’s face crinkled into a smile, “My cheeks thank you for choosing the less violent method.”

“Who said I was going to slap your cheek, well, your facial cheek?”

Jen gulped, coughing at the sudden intake of air.

“You are so hard to get, but when I do, it is bliss.” Zoe gloated a bit.

“Was it just to distract me?” Jen asked after a moment.

“So, honesty eh?”

Jen nodded, “No holding back, we’ve, been doing it too much these last couple of years, ever since Rollie…” She trailed off, suddenly finding saying his name held no thrill or promise.

“I had to Jen.”

Green questioning eyes snapped up. “What?”

“I honestly had to do the emotional equivalent of putting on a HALO.” Zoe bit her lip as she admitted that.

She moved her hand to tilt Zoe’s chin up, wanting to see those crystal eyes. “Why?” Jen held her breath hoping Zoe would tell her, and hoping it would be… be something she had been trying to run from for a very long time, but she found no matter how much she ran, she ended up right back where she had been so long ago when first meeting Zoe Barnes; attracted to the woman, physically and emotionally.

“Because there was no way I could have you. And I honor you and Rollie too much to… dare take what I want.”

Jen closed her eyes as that washed over her. “I, I know.” She flinched as she felt a feather touch tracing her cheekbone. It pried her eye open. Both eyes flew the rest of the way open as Zoe had neared.

The ice blonde’s lips brushing over Jen’s as she spoke. “What do you know Jen, say it…” Her voice was wispy, smoky, husky.

“You say it,” Jen replied, shivering as her lips also brushed along Zoe’s, a sensation she found enticing and completely electric.

Zoe chuckled, Jen again shuddering as that sound rushed through her. “Never stop doing that, please.” Jen said breathlessly as she pressed forward.

“If you don’t want me to stop, then I will honor that request and never stop.” Zoe replied solemnly.

“Never leave me Zoe.”

Now Zoe drew in a harsh breath.

“Rufus was for you as much as me… I know you can’t have…”

“Oh Jen, I…”

“I couldn’t let you lose another…” Jen normally had no problems being forward and stout in her views, but somehow, the last few weeks had broken those barriers down as she felt different. Her mind and body reacting to the space travel, at least that is what she told herself. So the fact she could not say baby was perplexing to her and yet…

Zoe swept her fingers along Jen’s chin, her finger dipping in and tracing the prominent cleft; something she had thought about doing, but had never really been free to do it. Somehow, trapped under these blankets and the possibility of death, Zoe had never felt freer. She continued, her fingers toying with the dark blonde hair as it was drawn back. Not content to stop, Zoe managed to take the hair band out, her fingers flexing through the loose hair.

Jen moaned, her body tensing as she found it hard to breathe. Zoe did not pull back this time, instead she tightened her grip and brought Jen’s head and lips to her, this time the pressure and pace both intensified.

In between kisses, Jen let go a sentence as she tried to grab air. “On three…” She leaned back in for a kiss. “One,” she playfully this time reclaimed Zoe’s lips, a giddy sensation building as she knew what she had to say and do. “Two,” she counted, not even aware Zoe had unzipped the biologist’s suit enough to pull the samples out. Zoe carefully wrapped it in an extra corner of the blanket, bringing her hands back to hold Jen tight as the woman said the final number.

“I know I love you.” Both women said at the same time. Breathing hard, they looked at each other, staring. Listening as a rustling sound filled the lab.

“I know, we might, not…” Jen was cut off as Zoe’s hand covered her mouth. Smiling, her lips curving along the hand over her mouth, Jen reached up and pulled the hand away. “I am trying to say, I want to let go of everything. Honor, commands, everything, just, I want to have you in my arms if this is…”

“I know…”

“And you’re ok with this?”

Zoe nodded her head yes, “Jen, you’ve seen me at my worst and lowest and you were the one who always came back for me.” She took in a breath, mostly for courage. “That’s why I came back. I was sure you were not going to make it and, I didn’t want to hang around if you weren’t going to be here.”

Jen’s eyes darted back and forth, sweeping over the elfin features and taking in the deep passion behind that statement, and the deep devotion. “I would have done the same.”

Zoe paused a moment, not breaking the intense connection as it wove deeper, almost in time with the rustling and movement that was occurring in the lab.

“Of course you so owe me when we get out of this. Every shit job Donner and Rollie give me, especially when they find out, they are yours.”

Jen was serious a moment, “Yeah, no more hiding.” She grinned then, “I guess this includes doing the dishes and laundry.”

“And everything else I can think of, you know, I could use a good pedicure…”

“I am going to be your slave for the next six years.” Jen groaned.

“And that’s a bad thing how?” Zoe then squealed a little as Jen poked at Zoe’s side. “Hey, watch it, we do have to be mindful.”

Jen looked around, the seriousness settling back in… “I was completely sincere about being in your arms if…”

“I’d like that. So, shall we see just how much exploring we can do while being…mindful.” Zoe’s lips curved upwards as Jen answered by taking the clasps of Zoe’s suit and working them open.

“I feel so free having told you…”

Zoe nodded, “Me too, this is our beginning as far as I am concerned.

“An honest and love filled beginning.” Jen added, just finishing as Zoe swooped in, her lips melding with Jen’s, the two moving together even as Beta wove it’s greeting around them and to the melody the two women were creating.

~ ~ ~