DEFYING GRAVITY – JEN/ZOE

Dreams

ymmat09

title: Dreams

author: ymmat09

fandom: Defying Gravity

pairing: Zoe/Jen

rating: 15 yr

spoiler: ep 1&2 have aired and previews for ep3

summary: Should they listen to their dreams?

disclaimer: I do not own the show or its characters

A/N: Having trouble with the cut so I’m re–posting this in two parts and crossing my fingers. I tweaked it too.( I think the cyber attack on live journal may have done it.)

Dreams

ymmat09

Her nose was literally pressed up against the window as Zoe stared out at the stars. There really was no comparison between the real deal and a glittery ceiling in a motel. Zoe wrinkled her nose and wished that memory hadn’t popped into her head. Her major lapse of judgement that particular night was not her proudest moment. Donner’s arrival on the Antares didn’t make it any easier to forget either. His flirting wasn’t helping the situation and Zoe had a good mind to contact Claire just to confirm the HALOS were actually working.

Zoe was still a little light–headed after her unplanned excursion into space. Evram had already ordered her to take it easy for a few days and Zoe was happy to follow instructions. She had been rattled more than she cared to admit and only Jen knew about her loss of control in the lab. Jen had held her until she was all cried out and Zoe knew it was their secret. It felt good to have Jen nearby and Zoe smiled quietly, she could always count on Jen. Zoe had always made friends easily but she’d never had a best friend before.

The blonde geologist’s thoughts drifted back to the plastic chamber she had awakened in and she shuddered. That had not been fun. She’d kept her panic under control but just barely. No, she could have done without five hours in the damn thing. Still, it beat the bends. Zoe had hugged Steve as soon as she was released having decided he was her most favourite man aboard the Antares. His quick thinking had saved her life and gained him some well deserved respect.

The sound of crying made Zoe turn around with dread. Her blue eyes darkened as she looked for the source of the crying but she couldn’t find it. Zoe didn’t understand why nobody heard it. Why just her? She tried to convince herself that the baby crying was just the ship settling much like a house settled. Slowly, she walked to the corridor and stood listening. It would be stupid to go looking for the source of the cries. It happened in horror movies all the time – girl goes off alone and gets killed. Zoe crossed her arms protectively over her chest. No, it would be wiser to ignor it. Even as she thought this, Zoe moved down the corridor following the sound.

* * * * *

Jen had left the lab shortly after Zoe. Once in her quarters, she changed into a tank top and her favourite black sweat pants then prepared to go back to bed in the hope that this time she could sleep. The first time, it had been almost impossible to turn off her mind. Jen had been worried sick about Zoe. Seeing her on that tether then in the chamber was unnerving. She’d been glad she went to the lab, especially when Zoe showed up looking so vulnerable. Jen had been happy to hug her friend and secretly needed it just to reassure herself her best friend was indeed ok. Jen reluctantly glanced at a photo of Rollie on her desk and smiled weakly. Was it wrong to be relieved he wasn’t there? Jen pushed those unhappy thoughts away and fastened herself into the space designed sleeping harness. She was whipped and closed her eyes, almost instantly asleep.

Normally, she wasn’t one to have nightmares or even dream. Jen knew she had dreams but she almost never remembered them. This had been different, this one had Jen thrashing to get free of the harness and landed her on her ass on the floor. Breathing heavily, she remembered the dream, Donner was there, so was Zoe. She had been there too. She couldn’t let them hook up. Zoe didn’t belong with him. Jen pushed her mane of hair out of her face and got to her feet. She had an awful queasy feeling in her stomach. Zoe couldn’t fall into a relationship with Donner just because they were on this ship together. Swearing, she pulled on her jumpsuit and headed towards Zoe’s quarters, intent on preventing a disaster.

* * * * *

The entryway to the pods was always locked down only accessible by using the code. Pods 1,2,3,4,5,and 6. Zoe stood staring at the touch pad and numbly listening to the crying. Beads of perspiration had broken out on her forehead and upper lip but she felt cold. She didn’t want to know. In her mind, it was her own guilt. Zoe thought about her abortion and the emptiness afterwards but she wouldn’t be like her mother who had given up everything for her. God knows she reminded Zoe often enough how she had given up on her dreams to raise her. Zoe had always wanted to be an astronaut and the unplanned pregnancy could have ended her one chance to make it happen. That didn’t make her a bad person, did it? Zoe knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother back then but someday she wanted kids and someone special in her life.

The baby’s cries had grown increasingly louder until with a whimper Zoe covered her ears. The sound was coming from one of the pods. Zoe could feel her legs getting rubbery. She almost didn’t hear Donner’s approach. Almost. Zoe quelled her rising alarm and turned her best smile in his direction. Donner leaned with faked casualness against the wall and gave her a grin then gently reached out to finger the chain that held the bucket charm.

“I have dreams about you.” he said eyeing her.

"Yeah, the hatch.” Zoe nodded. She had that dream too.

“It was like a premonition that I was to save you.”

“Premonition?” Zoe nodded glancing at the entryway and wondering why he couldn’t hear the baby. It seemed ironic to be standing with Donner when only a moment ago she had been thinking about the aborting of his baby. He’d never known.

“I think my dreams are telling me that you and I are meant to be together.”

“I don’t do astronauts.” Zoe quipped pleased with herself for remembering the smart remark even as the baby cries intensified. Donner didn’t seem to hear them. Vaguely she heard him say something and she turned back to look at him just as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Arms flailing, Zoe pushed against him.

“You never know who you will stumble across during an evening walk.” a very familiar voice said.

“There’s only seven possibilities. Hi Jen.” Donner grinned sheepishly as he stepped back from Zoe. Giving her a wink he headed down the corridor. The blonde wiped her mouth and looked over at Jen. Her friend looked furious and Zoe could imagine what she was thinking. Donner and her. Hell no.

“Hey.” Jen greeted studying her friend’s body language.

Zoe listened silently for the crying but it had stopped as suddenly as it had started. Jen had come closer and she was startled as her friend touched her arm. There was concern in Jen’s eyes. Zoe blinked hard.

“Do you think I was wrong to have that abortion?”

“No! Hell no.” Jen’s conviction surprised both of them.

“Jen, something is going on…”

“Come on.” Jen frowned leading her back to their quarters.

The quarters were all the same. There was a bunk, storage, a desk and chair and a nightstand. Paula had said they reminded her of university. As they entered Zoe’s room, Jen straddled the chair and watched Zoe flop down on the bunk. Zoe picked up her green pillow and hugged it to her chest. Glancing at Jen she frowned. She knew that look. Jen smirked,

“You know you’re going to tell me.”

Zoe groaned. She could never stand up to Jen’s stare and tonight was no different. So, she told her everything. She told her about each time she heard the baby and how nobody else did. She told her about the dreams.

“I dreamed I was naked…”

“Oh?” Jen grinned then came over to sit on the edge of the cot. Zoe made a face then continued,

“I was floating naked, in the hatch bay, Donner was outside watching me. I released the hatch and floated out into space.”

“And today it happened for real minus the nakedness?” Jen frowned. Absently, she rubbed Zoe’s arm.

“Donner put a tether on me today for no reason.” Zoe murmured,” If he hadn’t…”

“Hey. Don’t go there.” Jen frowned.

“He had the same dream Jen. He put the tether on me and it saved my life.”

“You think the dream was some sort of warning?” Jen asked thinking of her own reaction to her own dream.

“All I know is Donner acted based on his dream and I’m still here.” Zoe frowned then drew a deep breath. Jen sat silent for several moments then made a decision.

“Scoot over.” she ordered and stretched out beside her. Zoe turned on her side to face Jen.

“Do you think the baby I hear is Donner’s and mine?” she asked,” Is it because I killed it?”

“It was a fetus, a few cells strung together. Sweetie, it isn’t your baby with Donner.”

“Then whose? Whose baby is calling me? We’re in space for god’s sake!”

“I don’t know but it can’t be Donner’s. Zoe, you trust me?”

“With my life.” Zoe replied truthfully. Jen felt a strange rush at Zoe’s answer.

“No matter what, you aren’t meant to be with Donner. Trust me, he isn’t your soulmate. I can’t explain it but if you hooked up with him, it could cost you everything.”

”Then who am I meant to be with Jen?” Zoe sighed sleepily.

“I don’t know sweetie.” Jen murmured playing with a strand of Zoe’s baby fine hair. Long after Zoe was asleep, Jen lay beside her thinking about her own dream. The three of them had been in it. Donner had been holding Zoe much like he had been down by the pods. Only in her dream, Zoe had been screaming at her to stop him. Jen knew she had to keep Zoe away from Donner but she wished she understood why.

* * * * *

The Antares slipped through space quietly and majestically as her crew spent their night pursuing personal interests. Two best friends slept side by side, the more athletic woman had draped her arm protectively around the other. In another part of the ship Donner had found Nadia exercising and now they were doing a different type of exercise together. Paula slept like a baby in her quarters unaware of the growing tension. Evram sat talking to a very upset Claire courtesy of the Antares’ state of the art technology. Somewhere, Steve sat watching porn, alone. In his quarters Shaw sat staring at nothing still in shock because of his experience in pod 4. Antares had settled down for the night. In a biology lab, a petri dish in a refrigerator unit waited to one day be someone’s children. Pod 4? Well, nobody knew what went on on there. Not really.

~ ~ ~