LOTS - CARA/DAHLIA

The Last Goodbye

Tempest

Title: The Last Goodbye

Author: Tempest

Fandom: Legend of the Seeker

Pairing: Cara/Dahlia

Word Count: 3,214

Rating: PG-13/R

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, but if I did, this is how it would go down.

Summary: Takes place during that first night of Episode 20, post coitus.

The Last Goodbye

Tempest

Cara felt her breathing return to normal as the cool bite of the night air swept away the sheen of sweat that covered her body. She stared up at the night sky and tried to regain her focus by mapping figures in the stars. Her efforts were futile as the feeling of heat emanating from the body next to her blocked her concentration.

She hadn’t meant for this to happen. Of all the people to walk back into her life, she never would have predicted this. Every day she expected someone to come looking for retribution. She was ready for that. Well, maybe not ready, but prepared. She was prepared to look into their faces and know that there was nothing she could give them that would make them whole. What she had taken from so many, she could never return. She could offer penance, but never truly atone. Cara had accepted that as her life now. To live every day knowing that no matter what she did, no matter how noble or selfless, she could never even the scales. They would be forever tipped, forever tainted, by her past.

As solemn of a thought as that was, ironically, it freed her. She didn’t fight to wash herself of her sins, to cleanse her blood stained hands. She fought because she was a fighter, of that much she knew. In every age, in every land, a line was drawn be in sand, and this time she was one who decided where she stood. She followed Richard, not just because he was the Lord Rahl or the Seeker, but because he was the one she chose to follow. It was about choice now, not devotion.

Her thoughts were interrupted the by touch of Dahlia’s finger tip trailing up her torso.

“It’s good to know that you haven’t changed completely, Cara. You’re still as…” Dahlia paused to ponder the appropriate word. “…passionate as ever.”

“Am I?” Cara laughed at her Dahlia’s assessment. It seemed funny to her that she resembled, in even a superficial way, the woman she was before.

“But something is different too. You let your touch linger now…”

“Are you saying you’re not satisfied?” Cara questioned with raised eyebrow and steely stare.

Dahlia smirked that the other woman’s indignant tone. “Never. You’re still fierce and hungry. No one compares to you. Whenever you touch me I always feel as though I’m being consumed by a flame.”

“Is that how you remember me?” Cara responded as she sat up and pondered the other woman’s thoughts. Is that what she was then, an all consuming flame? Perhaps it was a fair description. After all, a fire was an element of destruction, and it left nothing but dust and ashes in its wake.

Dahlia scooted behind the blonde and rested her head on Cara’s shoulder while embracing her at the waist. “It’s one of the ways I do. I don’t mind the change though. You were always so quick to leave the bed after you were sated.” She paused to place a kiss just below the blonde’s jaw line. “I like that you linger now…”

“Perhaps the fog has memory has caused you to become wistful, Dahlia.”

“You’ve been gone from me for so long. All I have are memories.”

Cara freed herself from Dahlia hold and stood up. “Our parting wasn’t my idea, or don’t you remember that?” She walked away from her bedroll and stood over by the boulder across from the fire. She needed to remember that no matter how comforting the familiarity of Dahlia’s touch was, they no longer were sisters.

Dahlia took a moment to observe the Cara’s nude form. The glow of the moon enveloped the other woman’s skin and in doing so exposed to the light all that the blonde struggled to hide. This was not the woman she once knew. She could see it in her shoulders, in her posture. Cara was broken. Only this time it wasn’t caused by an agiel, but by a far more damaging weapon…doubt.

Dahlia stood up and walked over so that the two were face to face. She waited until Cara returned her gaze before questioning. “You don’t see what you’ve lost, do you? What this path you’re on is costing you? When you stood with your sisters you were a force of nature, Cara. What are you now?”

Cara, shaking her head, replied. “Everything has a price, Dahlia.”

“And the Seeker is happy to make you pay it with blood to serve his purpose, his quest. What does that leave you with? Your sisters-”

At those words Cara’s right hand lunged for Dahlia’s throat and abruptly cut off her words. “My sisters,” She hissed with utter contempt while strengthening her hold, “were more than happy to make me pay with blood before they threw me to the wolves.”

Dahlia eyes widened and she covered Cara’s hand at her throat with her own. As she struggled to release herself from her grasp she replied, “That was Triana’s treachery. Had I not been away on a mission that never would have happened. I would have killed her myself.”

Cara continued to constrict the other woman’s airway and tried to discern if she was lying. Seeing no deception in Dahlia’s eyes, only indignation, she let go and questioned, “Is that so?”

Massaging her tender throat with her own hand, Dahlia replied, “Yes. When I returned and heard what happened, I couldn’t believe what they had done. I searched for you, Cara.”

Cara stepped back at those words and turned away from Dahlia. “You searched for me?”

“Triana had no grounds to do what she did and she didn’t act with all the sisters consent. She took a few impressionable sisters and cast you out, but that was not the will of the majority.” Dahlia paused and stepped closer to Cara who was staring intently into the distance. “I went to the temple at Jandrolin and petitioned for your re-commission. They agreed to let me seek you out, but only on my own.” She moved closer so that she was standing directly behind Cara and trailed her finger tips lightly across her shoulders and then down her arms. When she felt the blonde calm at her touch she continued. “Along the way I kept hearing stories about the Seeker and the newest member of his valiant tribe. I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. Then I heard another story, that Richard Cypher was actually Richard Rahl and I began to understand.”

Cara, with furrowed brow, turned to face the brunette. “Understand what?

“That your newfound loyalty to the Seeker stemmed from your training. Knowing that comforted me in my search. You are a true Mord Sith, Cara. Even when you believed to be cast out, you still found a way to serve. Look at Denna. She was a powerful sister, but she never could compare to you, because in the end she only served herself. That pathetic brothel she ran and her sad attempt to become Queen of Dahara…it makes my stomach turn just to think about it. When I was searching for you, I thought about your honor and loyalty and it kept me strong, so I could find you.”

Cara smirked at those final words. “You never found me.”

“I did, though.” Dahlia reached out to stroke Cara’s cheek and then titled her head up at her chin so that their eyes met. “I tracked you to some no-name town and watched you fight alongside the Seeker...and then I saw something else.” She paused to withdraw her hand.

“I saw you protect the Mother Confessor. When I saw you guard her life, as much as the Seeker’s, I left…and I didn’t look back.”

“Because of Kahlan…” Cara stepped away and nodded her head in understanding. In the end it always came back to her. As much as she tried to justify it or rationalize it, her connection with the Confessor was beyond reason. Yet, the fact that it was illogical and improbable, only made it that much more appealing to Cara. If their bond went against all reason, then it wasn’t something she was trained to feel, it was something that came from within, something real and honest. It was different than what she felt for Richard. Her loyalty to Richard, though voluntary and sincere, was still rooted in her training as a Mord Sith. Her attachment to Kahlan, her admiration of her honor and strength, had no such roots.

Cara’s moment of reflection was interrupted by feel of Dahlia’s tight grip on her arm as she was pulled around to face the other woman. Dahlia, with eyes burning with righteousness, replied, “Because she’s everything the Mord Sith oppose. She’s the Mother Confessor, Cara!

Cara jerked her arm free and met Dahlia’s fiery gaze with own. “She’s so much more than that.” She turned her back to the other woman and stepped away as the implication of her words washed over her.

Dahlia paused for a moment as felt the impact those simple words. She walked over to the boulder and leaned against it for support. She hunched over and covered her stomach with her arm as if she had just been hit in her gut. In a menacing tone she replied, “So the estranged Mord Sith has fallen for the Mother Confessor.

Cara, standing still as stone, countered, “That’s absurd.”

“Is it?”

“Kahlan tolerates me because of Richard. That’s all.”

“Really.” Dahlia, like an animal stalking a prey, walked over to Cara and circled her before stopping in her front of the other woman. “And when the Confessor stroked your arm and gazed deeply into your eyes today, she did that out of ‘tolerance’?”

Cara laughed at the implication. She closed the space between them so that their bodies almost touched and reached out to caress the long braid resting on the brunette’s chest. In a tone that reflected her amusement at other woman’s accusation, Cara replied, “Poor Dahlia, always so jealous of all the other pretty girls. Some things never change.”

Dahlia, angered by the other woman’s patronizing reply, swatted her hand away. “I know what I saw!”

Cara caught the hand and immediately twisted it behind the other woman’s back. “You don’t know what you are talking about! You think you know who I am or what matters to me because we’ve shared a bed?” Her face was close enough to feel Dahlia’s breath and to see the hurt in the other woman’s eyes. As she stared deep into them she could see that the hurt reflected there did not stem from the strain she imposed on the brunette’s arm. She let go of her grasp and gently returned the arm to the other woman’s side. She trailed her finger tips up along the arm, then briefly rested her palm over Dahlia’s heart, before she pulled it back and replied in almost childlike tone, “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through this past year? I was thrown out like trash, disgraced by the people who were supposed to protect me above all others, by my sisters, my family. Zedd, Richard and Kahlan, they’re the ones who have every reason to want me dead. But they’re the ones who accepted me, who took me in, and they’re the ones I will fight for till the end.”

Dahlia shook her head in disbelief. “Do you really think they accept you?

“I know they do.”

“Until when? Until they learn something about your past that you can't hide and they can’t ignore. That's not acceptance, Cara, that's a bargain, and you are worth so much more than that.”

Cara paused for a beat and then replied. “I killed her sister.”

Dahlia drew her head back in confusion. “What?”

“Kahlan’s sister. I killed her. She was one of several confessors I killed at Darken Rahl’s command.”

“And what do you think she’ll do when she discovers that?”

Cara smirked, “She already knows.”

“Impossible.”

“Oh, she tried to kill me when she first found out, but Richard stopped her. And then I offered myself to her, to be confessed, but she wouldn’t do it. Kahlan deserved vengeance and I offered it to her, but she didn't want it. Instead she asked me to protect the Seeker with my life.” She paused for a moment to relive the significance of that moment before she continued. “I promised her I would and I won't fail her.”

When she made that promise it had been a simple agreement, her life for his. But her motivation to keep that promise had grown more complicated over the past year. Though she would never say it out loud, though she would deny it to anyone who suggested it, somewhere along their quest her admiration of the Mother Confessor turned into something more. But Cara knew better than to try and define it. Why define a word that could never be spoken? And so she kept her promise, because the promise was all she had.

Dahlia took all the words in and tried to make sense of them, but, in the end, something was still missing. “Why did you offer yourself to her, to be confessed?”

“Because I finally found out the truth. I thought my father betrayed me, but he didn’t.”

“You told me that he didn’t refute it when they brought him before you.”

“He didn’t refute it because he couldn’t speak.” Cara paused as she felt her voice tremble. Once composed she continued. “They burned his throat, Dahlia. They burned his throat, because they couldn’t break him. They needed to train me, they needed my loyalty, and they knew that was the only way to get it.” The feel of a cool tear as it trailed down her cheek signaled to her that her efforts to contain her emotions had failed. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and prevent further droplets from falling. “It was all a lie, Dahlia. Everything, all of it, built on lies.”

Dahlia remained still for a moment as she processed those last words. Images swirled in her mind of the days before she became a Mord Sith in Stone Ridge, of her own blood family. Unwilling to allow herself to open a door to her past that had been locked for so long, she grabbed Cara by the shoulders and retorted, “I don’t believe that. What we had together was not a lie. We can have that again, Cara. You can resume your place among the sisters and I’ll stand by your side.”

Cara looked into Dahlia’s eyes and she saw fear, the kind of fear you feel when a veil is lifted from your face. She knew that feeling well and she knew that Dahlia would fight to keep it bay. “You keep speaking as though I’m the only one who lost something, Dahlia, as if the honor of being a Mord Sith doesn’t come without a price too.”

Dahlia stepped back from Cara. “Whatever the price, I’m willing to pay it to be able to serve as a Mord Sith with honor.”

Cara hung her head in resignation. Debating with Dahlia was pointless. A line had been drawn in the sand and they stood on opposite sides and that was the only truth that mattered. Walking back to her bedroll, she replied, “I’m sure you are.”

She sat down on the fabric and stared off into the distance as the weight of their discussion began to settle on her. She reached out and grabbed Dahlias leather collar. She ran her fingers over the ridges trying to remember the feel of it on her neck…and then she tried to remember what it felt like belong to something. What did she belong to now? Kahlan was a Confessor, Zedd a Wizard, and Richard was a part of a line of Seekers, but who was she?

Dahlia recognized the change in Cara’s demeanor. Cara looked battered, as if they had been sparring with weapons instead of just words. She suspected that if she could see her own reflection it would look the same. She kneeled next to her on the bedroll so that she was facing her side, and reached out to tuck her blonde locks behind her ear and reveal the pained expression on her face. It bore resemblance to that of a lost child.

In a tone of pure concern, she asked, “You say I don’t know who you are, but, do you know, Cara? Do you know who you are? Do you know what you want?”

Cara remained silent for a moment as she contemplated the brunette’s biting question. She turned her to meet Dahlia’s stare and replied in voice just above a whisper. “Don’t ask me that tonight.”

Dahlia, nodding her head in acquiescence, reached out and cupped Cara’s cheek. “I think we’ve said enough.”

She pulled Cara into a kiss. It started out sweet, with their lips touching gently, like a snowflake landing on skin. She had meant it as a comfort, but it soon became something more. Dahlia tried to contain her excitement, but only Cara could kiss her in a way that was both familiar and new all at once. She opened her mouth deepen the kiss and welcomed the velvet sensation of Cara’s tongue. She tangled her fingers in Cara’s hair and pulled on it forcibly, but not enough to cause pain. She felt Cara’s hands began to roam on her body, and she nipped at Cara’s throat as the other woman dragged her finger tips up her thighs and torso. All thoughts ceased as both women lost themselves each other. Unable to control their passion, kisses turned to caresses, flesh met flesh, and their breaths became short and sharp until finally they collapsed onto one another as waves of pleasure surged through their veins like wizard’s fire.

After their breathing returned to normal, Cara felt Dahlia begin to stir. As brunette was got up to move to her own bedroll, Cara reached out to stop her.

“Stay.”

Dahlia stilled her movements as she processed Cara’s request. That one word, that single request summarized everything that had changed since they were last together. She looked down at the other woman whose eyes remained closed as she waited for Dahlia to return to her side. For a brief moment she debated whether to comply. And then Dahlia thought about where she would lead them tomorrow, a truth she had almost forgotten. Everything would change then. And so Dahlia returned to her side and held on to Cara. She rested her head on her chest, wrapped her arm around the slender woman’s waist and draped her thigh over her hip. She listened to her heartbeat and tried to imprint in her mind the feeling of this moment because after tomorrow, she knew Cara would never ask her to ‘stay’ again.

Before they drifted into sleep they shared the same thought.

This was their last goodbye.

~FIN~