LOTS - CARA/KAHLAN

Am I Bright Enough to Shine in Your Spaces

foiblesfables

Title: Am I Bright Enough to Shine in Your Spaces

Characters/Pairings: Kahlan, Cara

rating: PG–13

Word Count: 1,417

Summary: A short conversation by the campfire. A little post–ep h/c for 2.14.

Notes: First attempt at Seeker fic (oh man I’m nervous). Please let me know if I’m Doing it Wrong?

Am I Bright Enough to Shine in Your Spaces

foiblesfables

It feels just like it looks.

Cool, smooth, heavy. The illusion of water, entrancing fluidity, combined with the rigidity of tough marble. Her fingertips trace over a jewel; tiny pulses of invigoration bite on contact. Beautiful, Kahlan thinks, smiling wistfully. It’s all she’s been able to think for hours.

It’s been nearly impossible to keep her eyes and hands off of the necklace. In the sunlight, the gems screamed piercing blue with enough clarity to make even the best jewelry craftsman devote his entire life to its reproduction. They shone deep sapphire under the night sky. Now, in the warm glow of the campfire, they’re cobalt tinged with inky shadows. It’s eerie to stare into them, really, especially when she’s the only one still awake.

It’s not that she isn’t tired. Her head aches and her eyelids are heavy, longing to slip closed and remain like that for a long while. But they won’t, not after today. The fear, the confusion, the anger, the longing – it’s all built up into a frenzy, keeping her mind buzzing and painfully awake. Nicci. Her father. Almost dying. All at once. How could she sleep?

The calm that gazing at her mother’s necklace brings is the closest to sleep she’ll be getting for now. It’s very quiet – crackling close, the rustle of leaves in the distance – and she breathes the sweet scent of night air mixed with wood smoke. Draws in another breath, draws her legs closer to her body. There’s a pop somewhere near the embers, cutting through the air with quick defiance. Tiny explosions.

The chain weaving feels like chilled silk when she lays it across her fire–flushed chest. Her heart swells at its presence. If she thinks, she can remember seeing it before. Choppy images. Smaller fingers gently rubbing the stones. She can remember the chest beneath it, rising and falling, the rhythm of the heart beating there too.

She swallows. Another part of today.

A soundless murmur slips past her lips. Mama.

Her mother had been standing there that day. Warm smile, kind eyes, just as Kahlan tried to yank from her memory every time she needed to feel that tender rush. Too many words had raced to her mouth, with no time to say them. Proud, her mother told her. When their hands touched, steady energy, Kahlan’s heart swelled and pounded. Even if the barrier of life and death separated them, a thin veil, it didn’t matter, because her mother had been standing there and smiling. She wanted to breathe and hold it in forever as peace coursed through her entire body, starting somewhere around her hands. Years of separation coming to none. Forever, again.

Of course, that was impossible. The fleeting seconds overstayed their welcome. Over as quickly and breathlessly as it had started.

And it’s hard to think about, not enough for what she needed. Her throat and eyes burn, seeming to be in competition with one another to cause the most pain. Wind lazes past and the smoke makes it worse, until she’s rubbing and squinting. She doesn’t want to cry again. She should be happy for the chance to see her mother, to be saved by her even after her death.

But it hurts.

The tears are just about to flow when they’re distracted by another popping noise, this one unrelated to the fire. A twig snapping underfoot. It comes from behind and to the right, close proximity. Not dangerous, Kahlan decides after a split second of tense, icy–blooded consideration. Too close to the others for it to be someone with malicious intent. She would have heard battle cries already, ringing metal and shrieking Agiel.

After the day’s dealings, Richard will be out for quite a while. And Zedd never passes on the opportunity for a good night’s sleep.

She’s capable of much stealthier approaches, Kahlan thinks, her mind’s focus momentarily stolen from the lump in her throat. Giving away her position by stepping on a twig is unheard of. Obviously, it was intentional. She wants Kahlan to know she’s there. Waiting carefully to be addressed. Just in case. Kahlan almost smiles; it’s a far cry from the state in which they started.

Sure enough, when she checks over her shoulder, four or five paces away waits Cara: arms crossed over her chest, hips shifted to one side, head cocked to match. This glance must give her clearance to approach, because she begins a slow saunter to where Kahlan is sitting, arms still folded over one another. She stops beside Kahlan, letting silence linger for a moment.

“How are you feeling?” Her tone is the same as always; the reduction in volume takes nothing away from it. Kahlan looks up at her, sighing. The fire sends shadows shifting across her face. Her eyes glint in the low light.

“Better,” she replies, trying to keep the uneven rasp out of her voice. Cara gives a single nod. “Why are you awake?” Anything to change the subject. Dwelling on today’s events is something she’d rather not do.

“To take the watch,” Cara tells her with that hint of exasperation, eyebrows creeping upward. “You should rest.”

“I’m fine.”

She purses her lips and sits beside Kahlan, so this argument is over before it really begins. Cara’s not going to take no for an answer. She says nothing for a few moments, just watches the embers glow and transform in the pit of the fire.

“Was I right about your father?” Kahlan feigns confusion, even though she knows exactly what Cara is asking. Cara, of course, isn’t fooled. “Was there more to it than you thought?”

Kahlan just shrugs a little, picking up a twig from beside her boot and flicking it into the fire to give her hands something to do. She watches as the flames devour it greedily. Cara leaves it at that, holding her tongue. She lets a quick puff of air pass through her nose as her eyes sweep from side to side, considering what’s to come next.

“It’s a very pretty necklace,” she says at last, turning her head to face Kahlan directly. The words are clumsy and sound unpracticed (even though they very possibly might have been). They tumble from her mouth, expanding and vibrating when they hit the air, without the world’s best sense of timing.

But that doesn’t change the meaning, Kahlan guesses. This is progress. An expression of relief, maybe.

“Thank you.” Her voice hovers just above the threshold of hearing as she fingers the necklace self–consciously. “It’s…” Beautiful? Of course it is. A beat. A quick, tight–throated whisper. “I miss her.” Because she does. And today was an awful mixture of pain and healing, tearing open the wound before sealing it again. The scar will be there for a while. Kahlan bites her lip and takes in a shaky breath, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Cara keeps quiet, maybe at a loss for words. She looks downward out of the corner of her eye, sighing deeply. She’s trying to make a decision, Kahlan recognizes. Blonde hair obscures Kahlan’s view of her face as Cara leans forward a bit, into the heat of the fire.

The decision is made. She slides closer to Kahlan; their shoulders touch and the trend continues all the way to their waists. Kahlan shivers at the contact she didn’t know she wanted. The resilience of Cara’s body pressed to her side keeps her tethered to right now, to the world she’s in. Chilling moments become less vivid in her mind. He heart’s beating.

“Yes,” Cara states simply. Her long, dark eyelashes stand out in the fire’s dancing glow. Understanding might live here. “I know.”

It’s not much, but it’s something.

They hold each other’s gaze for a moment. The fire snaps languid punctuation marks.

Cara blinks and looks away, but doesn’t move away from Kahlan.

“Really, go to sleep. You’re going to need it.” Her eyes stick to the fire. “Who knows?” A wry smirk sneaks onto her face, and the curve at the corner changes her voice’s inflection to sarcasm. “We might actually try to find the Stone of Tears tomorrow.”

And this makes a smile break through. It crawls across Kahlan’s face and she shakes her head.

She places a quiet, grateful hand on Cara’s shoulder. Then, she slowly stands and makes her way to her blanket, leaving Cara alone by the fire.

The smirk remains on her face for a few moments before it turns into something a little bit warmer.

~ ~ ~