LOTS - CARA/KAHLAN, DENNA/DENNEE

Courage Under Pressure

Lurkete

Author: Lurkete

Fandom: Legend of the Seeker AU of AU.

Pairing: Kahlan/Cara, Denna/Dennee.

Disclaimer: I don’t own them.

Rated: E for Everyone.

Beta: None for now.

Notes: I can’t even claim that this was inspired by a Muse, more like a Zephyr of silliness. but the 17th is IDF ( http://www.femslashday.com ) so I figured I should post something, and crack seems to come easily to me.

This is, of course, an off shot from the Unbroken Redux series ( http://lurkete.livejournal.com/5792.html ).

Courage Under Pressure

Lurkete

Cara is bored, bored as a rock, bored to tears, bored beyond all reason.

At 34 – married with six beautiful, healthy little daughters; a massive kingdom that was not giving her too much trouble (after several years of vigorous ruling with the help of her brilliant and beautiful wife) – she is bored.

She sighs.

“Stop sighing it’s annoying.”

“Oh, far be it for me to annoy my second in command.”

“Yes, well even your saintly second–in–command has a limit to her patience” Denna says.

“I’m bored.”

“Yes, I know – we all know” the Mord’sith says while rolling her eyes, “and stop pouting, that’s not going to help you.”

Cara crosses her arms and mutinously sinks in her seat; her pout grows ever more childish.

“Ugh, fine.” Denna exasperatedly slaps her thighs as she raises from the chair next to Lady Rahl’s work desk. “Would telling you about mine and Dennee’s last vacation make you feel any better?”

“Ohhhh” Cara says, instantly interested. She leans her body towards Denna, all but wagging her metaphorical tail.

“When do you plan on marring her by the way, hmm? Kahlan is still waiting on you to make her sister an honest woman.” The honey–blond adds.

“Well she can keep waiting; Dennee and I have our own pace – Unlike another couple I know of, who got married even before they really met.”

“Hey, may I remind you that it was you and your illicit lover that came up with that idea.”

“Yes, but there was nothing forcing you and your lovely wife to start popping out babies is if they were going out of fashion.”

“What? Kahlan likes babies.”

“6 in 8 years! Eight – years. You two aren’t human, you’re rodents.”

Cara smirks proudly. Danna glares at her and flops back into her chair in irritated disgust.

“You’re just jealous that it’s been almost 10 years since I got married and you have yet to gather the courage to pop the question to your sweetie.”

Denna just huffs and turns her head while crossing her arms.

“What are you 1, 2 years older than me? You’re not getting any younger” she sing–songs, “soon that womb of yours will shrivel up and turn to ash, and you know what that means?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“It means that your bitter, barren soul will soon follow after, and then you and Dennee will be those creepy old aunts that everybody awkwardly avoids at family gatherings. The ones with all the cats.”

“For your information, you vexing moron, the state of my soul has nothing to do with me and Dennee having children – that’s an offensive notion. And secondly we have no cats.”

“Mommy lookit what I found!”

They both turn their heads to the large double doors that guard the entrance to Cara’s office as they finish swinging open with a bang – letting in a gaggle of young girls.

“Hello may little darlings, what have you got there?”

“A kitty!” yells Ella, her 5–year–old, “isn’t she the cutest thing on the world!”

Cara inspects the terrified beast once her children settle all around her. She smirks as she turns to her second–in–command to see that Lorie – the newest addition to their family – has parked herself on her aunty Denna’s lap. Her dark haired, blue eyed youngling is calmly looking at the cat while rhythmically sucking on her pacifier – waiting patiently for her older sibling’s antics to unfold.

Cara’s smirk gets tinged with a touch of deviousness.

“Weeeelll” Lady Rahl starts theatrically, her eyes wide and her finger tapping at her chin in mock inspection, “This is indeed a fine feral beast you have there, a worthy addition to the house of Rahl”.

She pets Lia’s head; the girl is the one currently holding the cat, her twin hovering close by her shoulder. She has her arms wrapped around the feline’s mid section – just under its front legs – causing them to stick out in front of it in an awkward angle.

“Alas, you already have Binky to care for” Cara incline her head and exaggeratedly frowns is if coming to a painful yet unavoidable conclusion, “I’m sorry girls but we simply can’t afford to take in another stray, a Gar is already so much work.”

“Awwwww” the choir sings on cue.

“That is…” she adds dramatically, “hmmm, what an idea!” she widens her eyes and looks over to Denna who has been vigorously shaking her head at her Mistress for the last few seconds.

Cara smiles. Denna looks like she’s about to commit murder.

Lorie opens her mouth and drops her pacifier; she twists around to look at the platinum blond and gasps in excitement “Aunty Denna! Maybe you can take care of kitty” she says in the adorably stilted and high pitched voice of a 2–and–a–half year old.

Cara knows that Denna is a complete sucker when it comes to her youngest, the Mord’sith adores all of her Mistresses’ rambunctious children, but there’s something about shy little Lorie that completely obliterates the other woman’s resolve every single time.

Denna sighs the sigh of the wearily defeated.

The Children cheer.

Lorie plants a sloppy kiss on her aunt’s cheek and then hurriedly hops off to pick up her pacifier and catch up with her sisters as they carry off the cat to show to anyone that crosses their path.

“I hate you; you are truly the cruelest and most twisted Mord’sith to ever live.”

“And so it begins” Cara says in a sagely voice. She lifts up her hands; one fisted the other holding up a finger. “Cat – 1, Children – zero.”

Part 2

“By the creator, what is going on!?” Kahlan walks into the main dining hall still looking behind her shoulder. “Cara, did you know that I just saw a pack of 5 naked Mord’sith streaking down the hallway?”

She turns her head to fully take–in the room she just stepped into and freezes. Slowly she pans her eyes over the carnage, her bug–eyed expression steadily growing with every passing moment.

“Hellooo my darling wife, you are sooo beautiful. Guys, Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Definitely is” a random Mord’sith pips up from her sprawling spot inside Binkey’s sleeping basket.

“I’d totally tap that” can be heard in the background.

“I think I can see through time” is mumbled from another corner.

“Are you drunk?” Kahlan asks incredulously.

“May–be” the Lady Rahl shifts her eyes and evasively answers.

“Cara listen to me very carefully, are you listening?” she grabs her wife’s wobbly frame by the shoulders.

“Yup” the blond nods with a stupid smile.

“What. Is–going. On? And where are the girls?”

“The Confessors have them, that’s their part of the plan” Hally answers from somewhere near the floor.

“What plan?”

“The get–Denna–hitched plan” Berdine mumbles from her slumped position at the main–hall’s table.

“There, there” Raina rubs her back and turns to Kahlna, “We figured she just needed some courage.”

“Liquid courage” Berdine adds.

“So we all decided”

“Unanimously”

“Yes unanimously – to get her drunk. When the confessors heard this they volunteered to take the girls out for a picnic.”

“Wimps” Hailey adds while petting the floor and murmuring sweet nothings to it.

“You decided that Denna needs to get married?” Kahlna repeats in a deadpan tone.

“Yup, to Dennee.” Cara adds, looking very pleased with herself.

“Yeah, their names are to similar – it’s perfect” some random Mord’sith adds, which causes the rest of the host to snort and giggle.

“Uh–huh, brilliant. So where exactly is the bride to be?” Kahlan asks.

There is a pause where 20–something–odd Mord’sith and one Rahl realize that the co–captain of the royal guard and the cause for their merriment is MIA. They all look owlishly around, Raina looks under the table; Berdine lifts her leg and looks at the bottom of her boot. Kahlan rolls her eyes; she then pokes the prone Hally with her boot.

“Is she alive?”

“Shhhh I’m concentrating” Hally tells her.

“On what?” Kahlan asks with a miffed tone.

“Shhhh” Cara grabs her arms.

“What?” the brunette turns to her wife.

“She’s concentrating.”

The Mother Confessor frowns mightily at her spouse and puts both her hands on her hips in a disapproving posture.

“Yeah, well, Hally just lost at the drinking competition” Raina explains from the table.

“Nobody can out–drink me” Cara brags.

“Oh, really…” Kahlan narrows her eyes and turns her head slowly back to her wife.

* * * * *

The next morning sees the breakfast table full of seriously hung–over Mord’sith, snickering Confessors, a sick looking Lady Rahl and her smug looking wife.

“Ugh, are you sure there’s no cotton in my ears?” Berdine harshly whispers.

Raina takes a curious look.

Denna, who just breezed into the room, cuffs the back of both their heads.

“Look alive ladies. There is much to do and less time to do it in. Drum–drills at the main court yard in 5” and she turns around and walks out.

The Mord’sith–half of the elite guard rises with moans and grunts and painfully shuffles out of the room.

“Ugh, why must they walk so loudly?” Cara bemoans, “And how is it that you can drink me and all of my Mord’sith under the table without even getting hung–over? Do you know that we actually go through a torture–under–substances course in our training?”

“Hey, I’m a Middlander, at the end of the day we come from sturdy peasant stock. Plus I’m like, twice your size” Kahlan answers.

“Hush your mouth, you are not.”

Kahlan leans down and pointedly kisses the top of her wife’s crown.

“Stupid giants and their stupid ability to consume insane amounts of alcohol” Cara grumbles under her breath.

“Let this be a lesson to you, not to try and interfere with Denna and Dennee’s relationship.” Kahaln says while grabbing her wife’s hands and helping her rise from her chair. They exit the dining hall and start strolling down the arched passageway hand in hand.

“What? I thought your romantic bleeding heart desperately wanted to see them hitched.”

“It does, but my romantic bleeding heart consults my brain before deciding that the best course of action is to get hammered with half the royal guards. Honestly Cara, what were you thinking?”

“It would have worked if Denna hadn’t chickened out of drinking her share. And anyways, like you have a better idea.”

Kahlan smiles very deviously.

“Wait a minute. I know that smile” Cara stops them in the middle of the corridor and turns to the brunette, “political rivals tend to get humiliatingly out–maneuvered right after you smile that smile.”

“I have a plan”

“Is it devious?”

“Why, it’s positively dishonorable”

“Have I told you today that I love you?”

* * * * *

“We’re getting married” Dennee informs her sister while setting down a basket on the ground and sitting on the stone garden–bench next to her.

“Oh My Creator!” Kahlan squees and throws her arms wide open, she then bear–hugs her sister with a huge smile.

“Honestly, I thought she’d never have the guts.”

“What pushed her over?”

“Apparently Lorie came to her and demanded a baby sister. And since you two are taking a break from breading she naturally assumed that the mantle should transfer to us.”

“Is that so?” Kahlan asks her with large innocent eyes.

“Oh quite–it Kahlan, I know you’re behind this.” The blond narrows her eyes at her sister.

Kahlan has the decency to look sheepish. But after a moment Denee let’s her off the hook with a big smile and a hug.

“Thank you my conniving sister” She mumbles into the brunette’s ear.

“You’re welcome Dee” Kahlna says and kisses her sister’s cheek.

“Don’t feel pressured by little Lorie though” Kahlan laughs, “I’ll talk to her again and veer her off the subject.”

“You do that.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to tell Cara!” Kahlan gushes.

“Oh I already told her, I met her on the way here.”

“Really?”

“Yes she was very pleased; your Mord’sith is such a softy. She even gave me a congratulation present.”

“Really? What is it?”

Dennee reaches for the basket at her feet and sets it on her lap; she then opens the lid to show Kahlan.

“A kitten, isn’t she adorable?”

~ ~ ~