LOTS – CARA/KAHLAN

Honesty

seven_3_oh (Amanda)

Title: Honesty

Author: seven_3_oh (Amanda)

Pairing: Cara/Kahlan

Fandom: legend of the seeker

Rating: PG–13ish

Word Count: 2734

Summary: Set in Season Two of the television series, ‘Legend of the Seeker’ set after Perdition… everyone celebrates in their own way, and feelings are bad.

Inspiration: the phrase ‘That bucket won’t carry water for me.’ Said by Cara to Kahlan in the 4th Book. But this is a TV fic, not a book fic

Disclaimer: “Legend of the Seeker”, its characters, and the situations depicted on the show are the property of ABC Studios, Disney, et all, as well as Terry Goodkind. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

Author’s note: I rarely write anything below an R rating… so this is totally new and sexless territory.

Date: 03.10.2010

Honesty

seven_3_oh (Amanda)

“This, my boy, is how one celebrates!” Zedd said holding up a large leg of mutton in one hand, a half loaf of bread in the other.

“I think most people have slight variations on what they like to do to celebrate.” Richard laughed.

“We’re celebrating?” Cara asked, and Kahlan just smiled and nodded her head.

Once they had made the long journey back into the Midlands, from the Old World, Zedd had announced that their first stop should be whatever inn or tavern that they came across. Apparently Zedd had been more familiar with this area of the lower Midlands than Kahlan thought, because not two hours after making his announcement and gaining all of their agreement, they had come across a small hamlet that offered a selection of not one but three inns. At that point Kahlan allowed Zedd to choose which of the three he thought had a better meal selection, and they now found themselves settled in for the evening, all four of them sitting around a small wooden table that was groaning under the weight of all the food they had ordered.

“Richard is free from the clutches of those irritating Sisters and is once again, rightfully the Seeker.” Zedd leaned over the table and said to Cara.

“So, we’re celebrating?” She asked again.

“Yes.” Richard said, pouring her a cup of tea and pushing it across the table.

Cara looked down at the tea, then up and across the room, trying to get the attention of the nearest serving girl. “The veil is still torn, the Keeper still has Sisters of the Dark, there are still rogue D’Haran soldiers throughout the Midlands, and we are celebrating?”

“Just for one night, Cara. Enjoy the moment. Break some bread; we don’t get bread like this sleeping out on the country side.” Zedd replied before taking another massive bite from the loaf in his hands.

Cara’s eyes looked at the pile of food before Zedd, and then she pursed her lips.

“Perhaps a round of mead will improve everyone’s mood?” Richard asked.

“Bags boy!” Zedd dropped his now clean mutton bone on the table.

“What? What did I say?” He asked Kahlan.

“Wizards do not drink, Richard.” She replied.

“Even a novice Wizard like you should know that! What did those irresponsible women teach you?”

“About touching my Han?” Richard said sheepishly before taking a sip of his tea.

“So much to learn.” Zedd grabbed the remaining bread from Richard’s plate.

“Hey!”

“Consider it payment for your lack of judgment.” Zedd laughed.

“That’s not very fair.” Richard pouted.

“You can ask for more bread.” Kahlan whispered to him.

“Not everything in life is fair, Richard.”

“Which of the Wizard’s rule is that?”

“That’s just a rule, boy.” He thumped Richard upside the head. “I fear he has gone somewhat soft being in the Palace of the Prophets for so long.”

“It was only a couple of days.”

“To you, but to the rest of the real world? Over a month!”

“So you keep telling me.” Richard mumbled and grabbed some more of the roasted root vegetables.

“And we will continue to tell you, so you appreciate us all the more.”

Kahlan joined Zedd in laughing at poor Richard, before noticing that Cara was now gone from the table. She looked behind them, but saw only the crowded dining hall. “Where is Cara?” She asked.

Zedd raised his eyes up to the ceiling, indicating the second floor of the Inn. “Off celebrating, in her own way.”

Kahlan blinked. “What?”

“She went up stairs to her room, with the um, serving girl a few minutes ago.” Richard said softly. “Probably to have a bath.”

“Right. A bath.” Zedd rolled his eyes.

“What else could she be doing?” Richard asked waving for the attention of another serving girl.

Kahlan looked across Richard to Zedd who shook his head with a look that said, “don’t bother trying to explain it to him.”

Kahlan agreed, and stood up. She was not going to allow Cara to just forget about Leo in the arms of some plain serving wench.

Zedd grabbed her arm as she walked passed him, heading for the stairs. “I don’t think that would be wise.”

“Why not? A bath would do you a world of good too, Kahlan.” Richard smiled.

Both Zedd and Kahlan looked at Richard, before glancing back at each other. Her expression clearly told the Wizard that she knew what she was doing, and he had his own grandson to look after. Reluctantly Zedd released her arm, and Kahlan continued her march up the stairs to the back room on the second floor where she and Cara were staying that night.

The door was locked, but in an inn such as this there was only a rickety door that had a simple latch lock on the inside, Kahlan jiggled the handle and bumped it with her hip, causing it to open.

“Dear Spirits.” She hissed, taking in the sight before her.

The plain serving girl was laying on the bed, her head facing Kahlan and the door. Cara was straddling her waist, and had been leaning down, almost to the point of kissing, or possibly choking, the girl. Kahlan felt her face become the emotionless mask of the Confessor, as Cara glared up at her from under her brows.

She took two steps into the room before speaking in a low and dangerous tone. “You.”

The girl looked towards Kahlan but she did not remove her glare from Cara’s blue eyes.

“Get out.”

Cara rolled her eyes and slipped off of the girl, turning her back. Kahlan noticed that most of the laces up her spine were already loosened, and slivers of skin appeared between them as Cara crossed her arms.

The young girl, clearly confused, scuttled off the bed and fled from the room, slamming the door behind her.

“I had already paid for an hour of her company.” Cara complained.

“And I am sure she will be pleased with earning the fee without any lasting negative effects.” The Confessor snapped.

Cara glared over her shoulder at her. “I wouldn’t have hurt her, too much.” Cara sneered and then turned around, placing her hands on her hips, causing her leathers to gape even further open to expose the majority of her breasts. “Are you going to finish what she started?”

“Fine.” Kahlan snapped, and walked to Cara, moving behind her and grabbing the laces at her back and yanking them roughly. She was furious at the blonde. “That was stupid and reckless.” Kahlan pulled even tighter, cinching the laces.

“The idea was to remove my leather, Confessor.” Cara grumbled.

“I can’t believe you! Luring a young girl up here.” Kahlan argued, ignoring her complaint.

“It wasn’t as if she didn’t know what I wanted. I was very specific.”

When Kahlan tied the laces in a knot at the small of Cara’s back she felt the leather straining to the point of snapping. “I doubt she even has a clue at what Mord–Sith are capable of.”

“You make it sound like I was going to actually hurt her.” Cara spun around and glared. “You never cared before, when I disappear for an evening here or there.” Her arms crossed, and she pursed her lips in annoyance. “What is this really about?”

“I am concerned.” Kahlan said.

Cara raised her brow with her unvoiced question.

“This is not the way to deal with your pain.”

Both eyebrows went up then.

“You cared for Leo. To lose him so suddenly. Cara, I understand that it is difficult but doing this?” She looked at the bed, still feeling unease at walking in and seeing Cara straddling that girl. If she had been a few moments later, Kahlan wondered what she may have been witness to. “This is not how you should heal those wounds.”

“Wounds?” Cara laughed. “The Wizard said we were to celebrate. I was planning on celebrating.”

“Be serious. We’ve spent months traveling together Cara and I like to think I know you better now. And the Cara I know is just replacing one feeling for another. It’s not healthy.” Kahlan crossed her arms, suddenly feeling defensive. Perhaps it was the way Cara’s eyes argued back but her lips went slack. It was as if Kahlan could hear a litany of excuses, all conveyed by a few twitches of Cara’s blue eyes, and the nearly invisible movement in her lips.

Cara bit her bottom lip lightly, as if she had known Kahlan was staring at them.

“Funny you mention replacing. Because Leo, he was a poor replacement.” Cara crossed her arms, mimicking Kahlan’s defensive stance. “He was the replacement Seeker. He was.” She stopped, and dropped her arms to her sides. Kahlan felt her face go soft, seeing the Mord–Sith relent in her anger. She was acting as though she finally understood why Kahlan was concerned. “I cared for him, but that is not love. Nor even long lasting desire. I thought you, The Mother Confessor, were smart enough to know the difference.”

Kahlan felt her own intensity fuse her spine straight and tall. “Your face would become so bright when you smiled, when he made you smile. You can’t fake feelings like that.”

“Feelings?” Cara rolled her eyes. “The problem with feelings is that they make you feel. And when you feel you make mistakes. Usually those mistakes cause pain, and not the appropriate kind.”

“Cara, feelings are what make us human.”

“Humans are flawed.” She huffed.

“Can you honestly say that you don’t have feelings?”

“I have feelings Mother Confessor. When I would rather not. If you were listening you would understand that feelings cause problems.”

“Because you felt for Leo, do you blame yourself for his death?”

“Of course not.”

“Then?” Kahlan pushed.

“The last time I had feelings, I was betrayed and then I had to kill the person who brought out those feelings in me.” Cara’s hand flexed above her Agiel, but she did not pull it. “I do not want to live through that again. I do not want to be betrayed and I certainly do not want to kill over… feelings. So I believe what I believe. Feelings are a liability.”

“I know you had feelings for him. Cara, I saw how you kissed him.”

“Did you?” Cara smirked, and Kahlan realized she had made a mistake.

She should never have admitted that she had seen what she did in that cave. But Kahlan was no novice when it came to battles with words, she could easily bring this subject back around, without revealing what more she may have watched that night. “I did.” Kahlan raised her chin, boldly. “The passion I saw was not something even a Mord–Sith could fake.”

“You saw how I kissed him?”

“Yes.” Kahlan’s confidence faltered as she watched a devilish twinkle appear in Cara’s eyes.

“Even you should know that is not how a woman kisses a man.”

Oh, Spirits, Kahlan thought, suddenly finding herself in an awkward position. “I…um.”

“That is how,” Cara took one wide step closer to Kahlan and glared up into her eyes, “a woman kisses a woman. So tell me again what you saw, Mother Confessor. Tell me again that I had feelings for him.”

“I know what I saw.”

“Maybe you do know Kahlan, and that’s why you barged in here.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She stammered.

“Ha!”

“I couldn’t. I don’t.”

“What was that? What are you trying to say?” Cara teased with a tone as sharp as a dagger’s blade pressed to an inner thigh.

“I don’t know what you mean. I came in here because I didn’t want to see you force a young girl into giving you false feelings. You need comfort. I can understand that. But you shouldn’t have to look for it with gold. We all can help you, and be there for you, while you grieve the loss of Leo.” Kahlan heard her voice, and she knew the words, but they sounded hollow suddenly, even to her.

“That bucket won’t carry water for me.” Cara said roughly, pulling Kahlan closer by her arm. “Tell me the truth. The truth I see in your eyes.”

“I am.”

Cara’s fingers became even tighter around her upper arm. “The truth.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

“I.”

An angry stare prodded at Kahlan, poking around inside of her brain, and shoving around all the excuses and all the reasoning, hunting like a starving dog on the scent of an injured chipmunk. She slammed her eyes shut, because she was the Mother Confessor and it was her gift and her curse to be able to discover the truth, see it, hunt it, and force it out of people. And here she was, on the receiving end of that assault, and she didn’t much care for it.

Because she knew what Cara was getting at, and she knew what Cara was really saying.

The fingers stayed on her arm, but the painful grip eased slightly.

And it was as if Kahlan could hear Cara’s voice in her mind, prodding her towards that truth. She could hear the calm voice reminding Kahlan of the weeks they spent traveling, just the two of them. Of the arguments over who got to sleep closer to the fire, and the walking in silence for hours. Cara’s excited eyes when they would happen upon a battle; the sound of steal on steal, the scream of the men as Cara dropped them with her Agiels. Kahlan recalled that moonlit night, where she at least released all of her rage and hate toward Cara and allowed the Mord–Sith to heal the cut on her leg. She remembered the pain had been like nothing she had ever experienced, not even being under Denna’s Agiel, because it seemed as though Kahlan had been able to feel Cara through the pain, and she trusted her. Kahlan remembered how the two of them moved with a harmony that became second nature. And how the calm just seemed to flow between them, as if they didn’t need to speak to communicate; all they needed was a look or a brush of their arms. Just like the ease between them, the peace. She felt how things had just seemed to be leading Kahlan down a new and exciting path.

Kahlan opened her eyes, knowing what would be staring back at her. She was not wrong. Cara’s face was expressionless and firm.

Kahlan’s hand had settled on Cara’s shoulder, when she wasn’t sure, but she stared at it for a moment, seeing it there. Her blue eyes slammed to the side, to lock onto Cara’s just before she shoved.

The move caught the blonde off guard and her back hit the wall as her lips formed a twisted smile. Kahlan took two large steps, her hand locking around Cara’s throat, feeling the warm flesh beneath her fingers. She retracted her stubbornness and barriers, and kissed Cara’s smiling lips roughly. Cara immediately responded, cupping the side of her face as full lips pressed even harder.

Kahlan was certain she whimpered Cara’s name as the Mord–Sith sucked on her bottom lip, and she was sure her knees where losing their ability to hold her. The intensity with which she returned the kiss stole all thoughts of reason from Kahlan, and she was being propelled by pure desire, as Cara spread her lips and deepened the kiss. She could feel the pressure of Cara’s teeth against her lips, the probing of the tongue in her mouth, all along the length of her body.

Kahlan was panting as she moved her lips away, and gazed down into Cara’s inquisitive eyes.

Eyes that clearly confirmed all that Cara told her, and seemed to turn a little sad. As if the blonde was experiencing the feelings she lamented before.

“Honesty looks good on you.” Cara said matter–of–factly.

Kahlan turned her head slightly as she regarded Cara, understanding things, seeing things that she had ignored before. Her hand was still around Cara’s neck, so she moved it up to cup her cheek, softly running her thumb beside the corner of her mouth. Kahlan swallowed her words down, because anything she tried to say wouldn’t come out as she intended. If she was honest with herself, she knew it wasn’t time.

Yet.

~ ~ ~