LOTS - CARA/KAHLAN

This Way

seven_3_oh (Amanda)

Title: this way

Author: seven_3_oh (amanda)

Pairing: Cara/Kahlan

Fandom: legend of the seeker

Rating: PG

Word Count: 557

Summary: Set in Season Two of the television series, ‘Legend of the Seeker’ set after during whateva the episode DARK … ANGST. OH YES. ANGST.

Disclaimer: “Legend of the Seeker”, its characters, and the situations depicted on the show are the property of ABC Studios, Disney, et all, as well as Terry Goodkind. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

Date: 04.20.2010

This Way

seven_3_oh (Amanda)

Perhaps they merely do not understand what it is they are doing, or how it is being taken. Then again, they may very well know.

Sitting around the fire, they joke and laugh, and seem so comfortable with one another.

The way they move, handing a plate, a tin of tea, pulling a wayward leaf from her hair.

Eyes smiling, and laughter rolls from their mouths to shatter like spines amid her feet as she sits, across the flames, distancing herself as much as possible. It is not that she does not trust them, or even that part of her does not want to belong, it is that she knows that she does not. Not anymore.

They won’t seem to let her go, insisting that she stay in kind voices and empty looks.

Kindness would have been letting her find her own way through this land, moving at the speed of her own conscious.

She is tied to them now; the chain about her hands is thicker than she had first thought.

And they laugh, and they smile, and it makes things like breathing hard.

Her name falls from her lips.

Asking her to join them.

What would she have to offer, to contribute? Nothing. So she shrugs and turns a little further away.

Night falls thicker around them, like her hair.

They begin to move away from one another, and she feels his glare. Sees his look, and notices fingers around the handle of the blade that rests between the two of them. Clearly a showing of provocation. He knows her longing, her glances, he may even know of the thoughts she finds herself in battle with.

The lines have all been drawn and she is on the other side.

She observes the way her eyes catch the flame, hold it, make it their own but never to detract from attentiveness as she looks at him; she completely looks at him, a soft curve of her lip and the way her nose slightly shifts when she smiles. She sees him. Looks at him as though he is her everything

He doesn’t always look at her like that in return.

Shockingly she doesn’t notice, when his eyes stray away.

But someone does.

Someone who doesn’t understand how he won’t look at her like that all the time, because he should. He should look at her like she is his everything, as if there is nothing in the world more important or more valuable to him.

That he doesn’t confuses her.

That she now looks at her that way, confuses herself more.

Pleasantries spoken, movement of turning in for the night to sleep, and still she refuses to close her eyes, knowing what will find her in the darkness of her mind.

Frustration at not understanding why.

Her insides twisting with pain and hate and confusion when behind closed eyes she sees her face. And still, she can’t seem to find the understanding for why she feels this way.

When did she start to feel this way?

Can she ever stop it?

“Kahlan?” Her name spoken again. “Leo can have first watch. Come lay down.”

“No.” Her voice was thick from disuse. “I’ll do it. You… go ahead and sleep, Cara.”

Just saying her name is like swallowing liquid metal.

And still Kahlan doesn’t know why she is feeling this way.

t.e.