LOTS - CARA/KAHLAN

Hesitation

smcthegreat (Sara)

Title: Hesitation

Author: smcthegreat (Sara)

Pairing: Cara/Kahlan

Rating: PG

Warning: Spoilers for the episode “Tears” in Season 2.

Summary: AU. This time, Cara doesn’t hesitate.

Disclaimer: I don’t own them, so please don’t sue.

Note: Thanks to angel_in_tears for the beta.

Hesitation

smcthegreat (Sara)

Heartbeats. A span of heartbeats was all it took as Cara aimed her arrow at the back of one Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor in the throes of the Con Dar. The horse’s hoof beats against the sand faded, as did that of Zedd’s steady breathing. The only sound was that of Cara’s heart, thrumming in her ears as she sighted Kahlan’s retreating back. The bowstring creaked, her arm taut with tension, her own breathing drowned out by the blood roaring in her ears. She must do this. Must bring down this woman who had come to mean more to her than she was able to admit, even in the darkest, most private recesses of her mind.

The span of time from one breath to another was endless as Cara released the bowstring and watched the arrow fly, straight and true. Time had not slowed, but to Cara the distance traveled was leagues rather than the hundred yards away that Kahlan actually was.

Cara’s heart clenched in her chest as she watched the arrow strike Kahlan, watched as Kahlan’s body was thrown forward by the impact, watched as Kahlan’s body hunched and then slumped over until gravity prevailed and she toppled off the horse.

Kahlan.

A strangled cry escaped Cara’s lips as she dropped the bow and moved towards the prone figure lying in the sand, only to have her arm caught and held. She whirled, ready to strike the wizard down for keeping her from Kahlan’s side.

“No. We must wait until she’s dead. She’s still in the Con Dar, Cara. She’ll confess you with her dying breath.”

Cara glowered at the wizard, conflicted. The warrior inside Cara agreed with the assessment. You did not approach the enemy if there was any chance they could take you down with them. The Mord–Sith in her howled with rage at not being able to be there the moment her prey met her end, to miss the exquisite feeling of watching the light fade from someone’s eyes as life left them. The woman within, however, screamed in agony at leaving Kahlan alone, at the moments it would take her to reach Kahlan’s side, moments that Kahlan would spend in the Underworld.

Cara jerked her arm from Zedd’s grip and fixed him with a glare. “I will not leave Kahlan to die alone. You can either follow or stay here, I don’t care.”

She launched into a run, muscles and blood working in tandem to propel her forward, close, close, closer to Kahlan’s side. Her heart pounded in her chest, tightening in the icy grip of fear. She dropped to her knees and let her momentum carry her down next to Kahlan’s body, hesitant to turn Kahlan over, lest Zedd be proven correct in his warning. Cara leaned in close and saw Kahlan’s back rising slightly in shallow, labored breaths. Her lips twisted in a semblance of a smile. Leave it to Kahlan to fight ’til the last.

Mindful of the arrow protruding from Kahlan’s back, Cara draped herself across the other woman, immobilizing her hands. She leaned in close to Kahlan’s ear, making sure to keep out of the Confessor’s peripheral vision. “Don’t try to move; it’ll be over soon. I’ll use the Breath of Life on you and everything will be alright.”

Cara felt the tremor in the body beneath her; even now, Kahlan fought against her, fought against death. “Stop fighting, Kahlan. Just let go. I promise, I won’t let you stay there a second longer than you have to.”

Cara was unsure who she was trying to reassure, herself or the woman whose life she had ended in order to save. She counted the shallow breaths until she felt the shudder of death beneath her, felt Kahlan’s heart still and gritted her teeth against the ache that echoed in her own heart.

Cara waited, seconds slicing into her soul, until she felt certain that Kahlan’s motionlessness had become the unmistakable stillness of death. She sat up and rolled Kahlan to her side and quickly removed the arrow. A choked sob escaped her lips as she moved Kahlan onto her back and cradled her in her arms. Her gut churned as she took in Kahlan’s empty eyes, staring at the sky, her face slack and lifeless. She tugged a glove off with her teeth and brought a trembling hand up to touch Kahlan’s face, gently brushing sand from her cheek and hair. Her thumb brushed lips as soft as she had imagined and Cara closed her eyes for a brief moment before leaning down and pressing her lips to Kahlan’s, breathing life back into her.

She willed Kahlan’s heart to beat, her chest to rise and fall, her eyes to sparkle and dance, her lips to curve into that smile that made Cara’s heart clench and flutter. Please. Kahlan. The Confessor’s name was a prayer, a curse, Cara’s salvation and damnation all rolled into one. Eternity stretched from one beat of Cara’s heart into the answering thud of Kahlan’s. Cara felt Kahlan jerk in her arms as life returned and pulled back to see Kahlan inhale and her eyes blink to regain focus.

“Cara?”

Her name never sounded so sweet as it did in that moment, Cara decided. She touched Kahlan’s cheek. “I – ” She swallowed past a throat that was suddenly choked with something Cara was unable to articulate. Kahlan.

“Thank you.” Kahlan’s voice was soft and full of meaning.

Their eyes met and Cara saw the things she could not say reflected in Kahlan’s. I know, I feel the same. She felt Kahlan’s hand grip her arm, completing the circuit between them and knew words were unnecessary. They always had been. Precious moments slipped by as Cara pressed her forehead against Kahlan’s, eyes closed, reveling in the feel of Kahlan alive and in her arms. Zedd’s heavy footfalls coming towards them ceased to matter, as did Richard or the Keeper and their quest to save the world. There was nothing in that space save her heart beat and the resounding song of Kahlan’s heart beating in time.

Fin.