LOTS - CARA/DAHLIA

Belonging

tarjacara

Title: Belonging

Author: tarjacara

Pairing: Cara/Dahlia

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: i don’t own anything

Summary: Cara wants revenge…

Belonging

tarjacara

Cara ran until she couldn’t run any longer. She collapsed on the ground, where she laid crying until she had no tears left. She lay staring up at the sky through the trees above her, but not really seeing any of it. Seconds lapsed into minutes, and minutes lapsed into hours.

As Cara lay there, unmoving, she thought of Dahlia. She should have stayed with her. She shouldn’t have listened when Dahlia had told her to run. She should have stood beside her, shared her fate. But now she was gone, and there was nothing Cara could do to change that. Images and memories of Dahlia floated in front of her eyes, and in her mind she heard a song Dahlia had taught her as a little girl. She heard Dahlia’s voice singing in her head.

The sun is sleeping quietly

Once upon a century

Wistful oceans calm and red

Ardent caresses laid to rest

For my dreams I hold my life

For wished I behold my night

The truth at the end of time

Losing faith makes a crime

I wish for this nighttime to last for a lifetime

The darkness around me

Shores of a solar sea

Oh how I wish to go down with the sun

Sleeping,

Weeping

With you

Sorrow has a human heart

From my god it will depart

I’d sail before a thousand moons

Never finding where to go

Two hundred twenty-two days of light

Will be desired by a night

A moment for the poet’s play

Until there’s nothing left to say

I wish for this nighttime to last for a lifetime

The darkness around me

Shores of a solar sea

Oh how I wish to go down with the sun

Sleeping,

Weeping

With you

As the song and Dahlia’s voice echoed through her mind, Cara let Dahlia go. She resigned to the fact that Dahlia was gone, that she would never see her again, and she drifted into a state of unconsciousness.

Cara had no idea how long she lay there, but sometime in the late afternoon, she felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently. She heard a voice that seemed very far away calling her name, and she slowly regained consciousness.

“Cara! Wake up!” The voice was Richards.

Cara opened her eyes. Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd were all kneeling around her. All of them had very worried looks on their faces.

“Cara, are you alright?” Richard asked.

“I’m fine,” she answered, sitting up, and pushing all her sadness deep down to hide it.

Only after a few moments did it register that Zedd was with them, even though she had seen him before.

“How did you get here?” Cara asked, looking quizzically at the Wizard.

“One of the mord’sith decided to have a little fun,” Zedd said. “Sadly for her, I’m not as helpless as I look without my magic.”

Kahlan then spoke. “How did you get our, Cara?” she asked.

“Dahlia.”

They all looked at her. “She let you go?” Zedd asked.

Cara nodded, looking at the ground.

“She didn’t come with you?” Zedd asked, surprised. Despite what Cara thought, he did know of her relationship with Dahlia. He wasn’t quite as heavy a sleeper as many people assumed him to be.

Cara shook her head sadly. She then looked Zedd directly in the eye. “She’s dead.”

“Dead?” Kahlan asked.

“Didn’t you hear me the first time?” Cara said, masking her misery with an irritable look.

“Sorry,” Kahlan said.

There was an awkward silence, which Richard broke by clearing his throat and standing up. “Why don’t we find a suitable place to set up camp, and we’ll stay there for the rest of the day,” he said. He looked down at Cara. “You look like you could use some rest,” he commented.

He offered his hand to Cara with the intention of helping her up. She refused his hand, standing up on her own, and glaring at him.

“I may not look my best at the moment,” she began, “but I assure you, I’m completely capable of standing up without your help.”

They wandered through the woods for about an hour before finding a clearing in which they could set up camp for the night. Cara was uncharacteristically quiet, and all the others noticed this. But whenever anyone asked her about it, she insisted she was fine.

Despite her pretenses, Cara felt dead inside. It was strange. Before she had met Dahlia again that day, she had been fine. She had been content. But now that she had for a brief time had Dahlia again, and now that she was gone again, Cara felt like there was something missing, too much missing to go on with her life. But she had to go on. She had to learn to live with this pain. Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd needed her. And for them, she would lock away her pain, and only let it out when she was all alone. To them, she would be the same Cara, when really she was broken and torn apart. She was only a broken shard of her old self.

“I’m going to find fire wood,” Cara announced suddenly, then turned and walked off into the woods.

The other three looked at each other, confused and worried.

“I’m going after her,” Richard said after a moment. “You two stay here.”

He walked in the direction Cara had gone, and after a few moments, he found her. What he saw tore at his heart. Cara was sitting on the ground, leaned against a rock. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, with her arms folded over them. Her head was buried in her arms, and she was sobbing uncontrollably. This was not the Cara he knew.

He walked over to her and sat next to her. “Cara,” he said softly.

“Go away,” she sobbed, not looking at him.

“Cara, I’m not leaving you like this. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” she practically screamed. “Leave me alone!”

Richard decided not to say anything else, since he only seemed to be upsetting her more. He put his arms around her and pulled her against him, holding her and stroking her hair while she cried her heart out. For a long time they stayed like that, and after some time, Cara started to regain control, and her tears slowed, but did not stop.

“Cara?” Richard asked gently, “What’s wrong.”

“I ran,” Cara sobbed. “I should have stayed. But she told me to run and I did. It’s all my fault…”

“What’s your fault, Cara?” Richard asked in the same gentle tone.

“She’s dead because of me.”

“Dahlia?” Richard asked.

Cara nodded, rubbing her eyes. To Richard she seemed like a frightened child, and it hurt to see her like this. She was one of the strongest people he had ever met, and here she was, crying hopelessly.

“It’s not your fault, Cara,” Richard said, trying to comfort her.

“It is,” she said.

They were silent for a while before Richard spoke again. “Cara,” he began tentatively, “Can I ask you something?”

Cara nodded.

“You seem really sad about losing Dahlia…what exactly was it between you?”

Cara looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks, before she spoke. “I loved her,” she whispered after a moment.

“Oh,” Richard said. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t that. He understood now how she felt, why she was so broken.

Richard didn’t know what to say, or how he could comfort her after the loss she had just suffered, so he just held her until the tears stopped.

Cara disentangled herself from Richards arms and stood up. “Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” she said.

“Of course,” Richard answered. He saw a bit of the Cara he knew returning, but now he knew it was an act. She was still broken and wilting on the inside. But he would not tell anyone. He would let her pretend she was okay for the others, if that was what she wanted.

They returned to the camp a few minutes later, and no one commented on the lack of firewood, which they had supposedly gone to collect. Soon everyone went to their bedrolls, and went to sleep. But Cara couldn’t sleep. She lay awake, thinking of Dahlia, tears in her eyes once more. When she did finally cry herself to sleep, it was an uneasy rest, with Dahlia’s final screams echoing in her dreams.

Part 2

The next morning, Cara was the second to wake. She got up and found Kahlan already sitting by the fire, making breakfast.

“Good morning, Cara,” Kahlan said pleasantly.

“Morning,” Cara grumbled.

“Would you like some breakfast?” Kahlan asked.

Cara frowned at her. “I don’t trust your cooking,” she said grumpily, turning and looking out into the woods surrounding them.

The sound of their talking was waking up the others.

“Cooking isn’t such a hard thing to put your trust in, Cara,” Kahlan said, annoyed by Cara’s attitude. “What’s the worst that can happen? It won’t taste good? It’ll give you a stomach ache? It’s not going to betray you to your enemies if you trust it.”

Kahlan immediately knew she had gone too far when Cara turned to look at her again. On the mord’sith’s face was the most infuriated look Kahlan had ever seen in her life. Had Cara been a Confessor, she surely would have been in the Con Dar right now.

Cara slowly walked over to Kahlan, who was now standing. She glared at her for a moment before slapping her across the face as hard as she could, knocking Kahlan to the ground.

Richard, who had gotten up just in time to see Cara slap Kahlan, was surprised that Cara wasn’t pulling out her agiels. She was obviously angry, but she didn’t seem to really want to hurt Kahlan, or she would have used the agiels. He walked quickly over to where Cara was still standing over Kahlan.

“Cara,” he said, placing a hand on the mord’sith’s shoulder. “She didn’t mean it.”

Cara spun around to face Richard. “I can’t take it anymore. I’m not going to just let him take her away from me. He’s going to pay.”

“Cara, I don’ t know if that’s a good idea…” Richard began.

“I don’t care,” Cara interrupted. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m going to kill him.”

With that, she turned and walked off into the woods. “Don’t follow me,” she called over her shoulder to them.

Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd watched her go. Richard understood her anger the most, Zedd understood some, but Kahlan was utterly confused.

“What’s going on with her?” Kahlan asked, rubbing her cheek where Cara had slapped her.

“She loved Dahlia,” Richard simply said. “Rahl killed her, and now Cara is going to kill him.”

“Oh,” Kahlan said, putting a hand over her mouth. She understood now why Cara had gotten so angry, and she was horrified at what she had said.

Cara waited until the sun began to set, then quietly snuck in the same door she had left through two nights earlier. She walked cautiously through the empty halls, agiels held firmly in her hands. With every turn she expected to run into someone, but to her surprise, she never did. She was able to walk to the room where she expected to find Darken Rahl with no trouble.

But when she opened the door to the room, she got her first surprise. Rahl was nowhere to be seen. On the floor in the middle of the room, was a mord’sith. The woman sat up when she heard the door open, and turned to face Cara, who nearly dropped her agiels in surprise. It was Dahlia.

Cara ran to her, knelt down next to her, and gave her a huge hug. Dahlia returned the hug, holding Cara tightly.

“I thought you were dead,” Cara said, tears in her eyes. She didn’t wait for Dahlia to reply before going on. “I shouldn’t have left you,” she said, “I should have stayed with you.”

“No, Cara,” Dahlia said. “You did the right thing.”

“No,” Cara answered. “I shouldn’t have left you, and I won’t do it again.”

She was about to say more, but the door behind her opened, and she spun around. Darken Rahl stood in the doorway. Cara stood, glaring at him, her eyes full of hatred.

“Well, well,” Rahl began, “I see you’ve decided to return to us, Cara.”

“Only to kill you and leave with Dahlia,” Cara spat furiously.

“Now, Cara, is that any way to talk to your superiors?” Rahl asked in the same infuriating voice.

“You will never be my superior,” Cara said angrily. “You’ll never be anyone’s superior. Even the scum that grows on the bottom of a pond is your superior, you self-satisfied prick.”

She began to walk toward him, her agiels ready to attack.

“Even you wouldn’t dare harm the Lord Rahl, would you Cara?”

“Richard is the true Lord Rahl. You are nothing.” With that she hit him hard across the face with one agiel, and when he didn’t fall to the ground, she hit him even harder, this time with both agiels. He fell this time, shaking his head to clear the dizziness cause by her strikes. He reached for the dagger in his boot, the only weapon he was carrying with him at the time.

Cara saw the dagger, and quickly knocked it out of his hand. “Stand up,” she said, in a calm but furious voice. He began to stand, but stumbled back against the wall. “I said STAND!” Cara practically screamed at him. He stood this time, leaning against the wall to support himself.

“Well, well,” Cara said, smirking, “It seems the great Darken Rahl is nothing more than a scared little boy.” She struck him hard in the stomach with one agiel, making him double over in pain. “Not so big and strong without the use of your magic, are you?” she asked.

Dahlia walked over to Cara, placing a hand on her arm. “Cara, let me,” she said. Cara stepped aside, allowing Dahlia access to Rahl.

Dahlia felt the rage building up in her as she looked at the man who had convinced her to betray the woman she loved, and who had then beaten her within an inch of her life.

She then proceeded to hit Rahl over and over with her agiel, taking out all her anger at what he had done to Cara. She felt angry tears welling up in her eyes as she did so. Cara soon joined her, and the two women caused Darken Rahl as much pain as he had caused them. When they tired of him, they both put their agiels to his chest, and the magic cause his heart to stop.

This time, Cara and Dahlia left through the door together. There was no one to stop them. They returned to the camp, which Cara and her friends had set up the night before. Cara was surprised to find that they were still there, but not as surprised as they were to see her returning, and with Dahlia as well.

Cara walked over to Richard, pulling Dahlia with her by the hand.

“Richard,” she began, but Richard knew what she was going to ask already.

“Of course Dahlia can join us,” he said, smiling at the two mord’sith.

“Thank you,” Cara said, giving him one of her rare smiles.

She then went to Kahlan. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have hit you this morning. I was upset and I overreacted.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Cara,” Kahlan said. “I understand. If it were me, I probably would have done the same thing.”

Dahlia pulled Cara’s hand so that she was forced to turn around and face her. “Thank you, Cara,” she said, gently stroking Cara’s cheek. Dahlia then pulled her close and kissed her passionately. Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd all smiled at this display of affection. Cara broke the kiss a few moments later and looked up at Dahlia. They both knew that the other was thinking the same thing. Cara turned to the others.

“We’re going…hunting,” she stated before Dahlia pulled her off into the woods.

That night, they had a delicious meal of deer and rabbit that Cara and Dahlia had caught, and some wild berries and vegetables that Zedd had been able to find.

“So,” Kahlan said, looking over at Cara and Dahlia, who were sitting very close to one another. “How was your…‘hunting’?” she giggled.

Cara glared at her. Dahlia, however decided to play along. “Oh, fantastic!” She said enthusiastically. “Cara is very skilled.” Dahlia winked at Cara.

“And you even had some time to catch us some dinner!” Richard teased.

“And they were only gone for three hours!” Kahlan said to Richard.

“Don’t make me hit you again,” Cara said, still glaring.

Barely a week later, after they had gotten the Stone of Tears to the Pillars of Creation and repaired the torn veil, they stayed the night in a small village, who’s inhabitants insisted on throwing them a party to celebrate their victory over the Keeper. They had delicious food prepared by the villagers, and music and dancing. There were children chasing each other around, boys pretending to be the Seeker and fighting each other with sticks, and parents cautioning them. Everyone had a wonderful time.

When one of the faster songs ended, the musicians began a slower song, one that Cara and Dahlia both recognized. They had danced to it once when they were children, before they had been taken by the mord’sith. Dahlia stood up, holding her hand out to Cara. Cara understood, and took her hand, allowing Dahlia to lead her out onto the dance floor. She put her arms around Dahlia’s neck, and Dahlia put her arms around Cara’s waist, pulling her close as the singer began to sing.

I will be the answer

At the end of the line

I will be there for you

While you take the time

In the burning of uncertainty

I will be your solid ground

And I will hold the balance

When you can’t look down

If it takes my whole life

I won’t break, I won’t bend

It’ll all be worth it

Worth it in the end

‘Cause I can only tell you what I know

That I need you in my life

When the stars have all gone out

You’ll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning

For the night has been unkind

Take me to a place so holy

That I can wash this from my mind

The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life

I won’t break, I won’t bend

It’ll all be worth it

Worth it in the end

‘Cause I can only tell you what I know

That I need you in my life

When the stars have all burned out

You’ll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently into morning

For the night has been unkind

As the song ended, Dahlia placed a gentle, loving kiss on Cara’s lips.

“I love you, Cara,” she whispered.

Cara smiled. “I love you too.”

~ ~ ~