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heartsways - The Between

LOST GIRL - BO/LAUREN

The Between

heartsways

Title: The Between

Author: heartsways

Rating: NC–17

Fandom: Lost Girl

Pairing: Bo/Lauren

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for–profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Set sometime after their first kiss and Bo lacing up her boots in Episode 1x08, Lauren and Bo indulge in some pillow talk.

The Between

heartsways

I was somewhere between slumber and exhaustion, lying between sheets that bore the creases of our lovemaking and offered scant protection from the growing chill in Bo’s room. Making love with a Succubus was everything I’d read it could be, and more. Of course, the ‘more’ part was still whirling around my brain like the remnants of a heavy night’s drinking, dizzying my vision and spinning the room every time I dared open my eyes. I opted for darkness instead. Ironic really, considering I was literally the human spokesperson for the Light Fae. But the darkness offered defense from the body pressed against my own and the arm that was thrown almost carelessly over my waist. Because to look at her was to want her, and I wasn’t sure I had much left for further exploits. Literally and metaphorically. Bo might have exerted control over her powers, but there were moments when she’d tugged my very essence out of me, along with sighs and declarations that brought a blush to my cheeks even now with the mere memory of them. I had never been the sort of person who wears her heart on her sleeve; never been one for romantic speeches or the sort of behaviour associated with the first flush of love. In fact, I’d always hidden so much of myself that it seemed now there was very little left of me to expose – the layers disguising me were far too impenetrable and my intrinsic self was kept far too deep for anyone to truly find it, anyway.

But Bo had tugged it out of me with her kisses and whispers. With the way she slid across my skin and urged my body to climax under her touch. Intimacy came so easily to her and I was defenseless, unable to resist the natural manner in which she created it between us. Even if I’d wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to stop the way she made me feel, much less contain it. It drifted out of me, like the very energy that Bo craved so much. It crept from my lips to hers in blistering kisses and murmured entreaties that were quite unlike my usual considered demeanor. But I had learned that with Bo, being considered and controlled was becoming increasingly difficult for me. Even without using her powers, I was simply unable to hide how I felt. Just like my energy, she pulled it out of me so that it was visible, exposed – as I was, lying naked in her bed.

I was sinking into a post–coital induced sleep when Bo’s fingers twitched on my waist, splaying out and dancing down to cover my hip. She shifted behind me and the warmth of her body pressed closer against my own as a mouth settled just over my ear.

“Tell me,” she murmured, the timbre of her voice tickling my ear and buzzing pleasure receptors awake in my brain. “Tell me more about being a Succubus.”

Ever since she’d found out what she was, Bo had been insatiably curious about her adopted heritage, as she called it. Nobody had ever seen fit to give her a past, a legacy. I was the one person in her life who had the knowledge she so desperately wanted and sometimes she heaped question upon question until I was tempted to thrust my research notes at her and tell her to read them. But I’d learned to be patient – my profession demanded it, anyway. So did The Ash. I was the calm in the storm; the person required to restore medical and holistic order so that the Fae could exist and prosper. I suppose that it had become second nature to me, in a way. And Bo had every right to be curious. She’d missed out on the necessary training and guidance that every young Fae received. She was lost, adrift, trying to find some sense of self.

I could identify with that, at least.

“Please, Lauren,” she bumped her hips up against my buttocks and her fingers tightened on my hip before sliding across my stomach with the lightest of touches. With her powers, Bo was irresistible to anyone who fell under their spell. But without them, I felt the faint promise of sexual gratification; an echo of the pleasures we’d found in one another’s body only a short time ago. And that sensation was far more seductive than anything Bo’s powers could proffer.

I groaned and reached down underneath the sheets to entwine my fingers with hers, squeezing the hand that I’d seen do so much harm. And so much good. Bo was strong, but with me she had been vulnerable. In a way, I found that to be one of the most fascinating discoveries about her. The way that she’d moved underneath me; the parting of her lips as I’d traced the lines of her body with my mouth; the clutching of her hands on my shoulders as I’d moved down the bed. She had been completely, utterly open. In every way.

I desperately wished I could have been the same.

“Bo,” I said, my voice thickened by the approach of sleep, “what could I possibly have forgotten to tell you?”

“I don’t know!” she said, pushing herself up onto one elbow and looking down at me as I turned onto my back. “You tell me! I mean, how can I possibly know what I don’t know?” Her mouth quirked a grin and I couldn’t help smiling back at her as she lifted her eyebrows and shrugged helplessly. Despite her darker tendencies and ability to conquer most foes, there was something of the innocent about Bo. Something human. There was very little I could do not to respond to that, because all things considered, when the worlds we knew were stripped away, Bo was just a girl. She made me feel that way too. And despite my efforts to the contrary, I was growing to like it a lot. Perhaps too much.

“Okay,” I demurred, letting out a faint sigh and rolling my eyes. “I’ll go without sleep to satisfy your needs, of course.”

Settling herself beside me, propping up her head onto her hand, Bo’s eyes narrowed and she gazed at me with a self–satisfied smirk. “Right,” she nodded, “because it’s not like I haven’t satisfied yours, of course.”

I think I actually blushed and had to look away for a moment as my mouth turned upwards in a smile. Satisfaction seemed such an inadequate word for what I’d experienced with her. I’d read thousands of books and ancient texts; I was probably a human authority on the workings of the Fae and I had knowledge fairly bursting out of my brain, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever find words to fully express how being with her made me feel.

“You’re impossible,” I murmured, receiving a bright grin and a nod for my pains. Reaching up, I grasped a strand of her hair between my forefinger and thumb, sliding my fingers down its length and relishing for a moment the simplicity of pleasure, the honesty of touch. Meeting her enquiring gaze again, I took a breath and smiled. My default position.

“Succubi are often talked or written about as female demons,” I began, seeing a darker shade color her eyes. In as much as her separateness both enthralled and intrigued her, there was always a part of her that railed against it. She had chosen humans, not the Fae. And the more she knew about her biological heritage, the more she realized just how far from human she was. But her desire for knowledge outweighed her desire to remain ignorant and human – the same way that most Fae saw me. So her gaze was steady and fixed upon mine, even though her teeth came out to worry at her bottom lip.

“One of the most well–known Succubi in history is Lilith,” I explained, warming to the topic as I so often did when facts came in to play. If seduction was Bo’s comfort zone, then exposition was mine. It was where I felt safe – always had done. Until Bo’s arms had encircled me as the last tremors of climax left my body. But her safety was accompanied by a much deeper fear; one that I had almost forgotten existed in the dark recesses of my mind and heart. And as I looked up at her now, I knew that if I could only be half as brave as Bo, then I might even find some peace after the fear dissipated.

“Lilith?” Bo echoed, twin lines forming on her brow momentarily. “You mean, like, all those women–only concerts with way too much hugging and questionable hygiene?”

I couldn’t help laughing. Fae had an almost predictable ability to surprise me at the best of times, but Bo was really something else. Just when she seemed more mystical than ever, her humanity would rise to the surface and remind me that she wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met.

“Uh…not really,” I grinned. “Lilith, according to Zohar and the Alphabet of Ben Sira, was Adam’s first wife. She left the Garden of Eden and refused to return after mating with an archangel.”

“Hm,” Bo’s fingers inched across my stomach, down over the flat plains of my belly and I gasped as she smiled innocently. “Hussy.”

“Quite,” I smiled, as my heart dipped and soared in equal measures at the merest contact of her. Swallowing, I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the direction in which her hand was moving. Acknowledging her insatiable intent would only distract me. Had only distracted me thus far. “Anyway,” I finally said, as Bo tilted her head to one side and looked at me through a narrowed gaze, “Throughout history, rabbis and priests have always tried to curb the power of Succubi over humans. But your kind are…” Again I found myself quite unable to find a suitable word to describe the irresistible tug of a Succubus–touch; the urges and complete submission it awakened in humans. In me.

“Tenacious?” Bo suggested softly, her voice carrying a weighted tone of intent. Mouth open, I nodded dumbly and blinked helplessly as her head dropped and lips brushed against the pulse in my neck, pounding as the tip of her tongue slid over it.

“Ah…” My voice was ragged and I frowned, pressing my lips together. “Yes…I suppose that’s one way of putting it.”

She laughed against my skin, a buzzing that fled into my brain and stayed there before trickling down throughout my whole body. I shifted as her hand crept onto my thigh and nails scraped a line upwards.

“So are all Succubi bad?” she asked, although it seemed more of an entreaty than a question. The note of sadness in her voice tugged at me in the same way her mouth had, making me look at her again, wide–eyed and concerned.

“No,” I said instantly, my hand leaping to her cheek in an effort to assuage the worry I saw there. “No,” I said again, and she smiled faintly at me, appeasing my fears. “You’re not a monster, Bo. Your powers can be used for good as well as bad – look at what the Light Fae are able to accomplish.” I brushed my thumb over her cheekbone and watched as she looked down at me, her dark eyes traversing all the contours of my face. She trusted me; it was written in the lines of her face and the depth of her gaze. Bo trusted me. And deep in my heart, guilt gnawed with the steel jaws of fealty; of imprisonment. It was almost too much to bear.

I dropped my hand from her skin and smiled again, the guise I wore to placate and conceal all the truths I might have blurted without due consideration. “Besides,” I added, “according to Walter Mapes in De Nugis Curialium, Pope Sylvester the second was involved with a Succubus named Meridiana, who helped him achieve his high rank in the Catholic Church. Hardly the work of someone evil.”

Bo shrugged and frowned. “Uh, have you been to church lately? I trust those people about as much as I trust the Fae,” she said, a hard glint edging into her eyes. “And Lauren? I understood like, two words of what you just said.”

I laughed again. “I’m sorry. Want me to explain it to you?”

“God, no!” she smirked. “I didn’t understand it, but it was hot.” Now it was her turn to glance away with a faint flush of embarrassment glowing briefly on her neck. “You’re kind of sexy when you spout all that stuff.”

“Only kind of?” The words were out of my mouth before I could bring them to resemble reason and I let out a nervous titter, rolling my eyes at my own weaknesses.

When her eyes met mine, they were almost black with volition and her face was serious, drained of the playful humor that had characterized our conversation. She bent down over me and her lips were almost against mine when she spoke once more. “Do you want me to help you achieve high rank?” she asked in a husked voice. “Do you want me to use my powers for – ”

“No,” I said firmly, halting her spiral of self–hatred that had begun to creep into her discovery about what she was. “I don’t want anything like that from you. Bo…I just want you to…”

“Be inside you again?” Her fingers, until now tentative and almost absent–mindedly lying on my thigh, slid between my legs, effectively parting them. Her mouth pressed against my ear once more and I closed my eyes, a thrill descending from my chest to my pelvis where it hovered and taunted me with delicious promise.

“I want to be inside you again,” she breathed hot and thick in the hollow just beneath my ear and I gasped as her fingers pushed against me. I was wet; I knew it. Wet and slick with how much I wanted her, and how much she wanted me, too. As she moved inside me, I bucked my hips upwards and she let out a slow, delighted laugh before drawing back and looking down at me.

I wanted to say something. Anything. Wanted to tell her the things she needed to hear…the things I needed her to hear. I wanted her to break me open and expose all my secrets and lies with the deft touch that she wielded with such alacrity. As her mouth descended onto mine and our lips crashed together, it was all I could do to slide my fingers through her hair and hang on as though she could save me. But from what? I was already in much deeper than I thought possible, or probable. More than was wise, most definitely. But the taste of her on my tongue and the low groan that escaped her throat thrilled me, willed me closer to her and I was powerless to resist. My depleted energy meant nothing; my desire for sleep was gone and she was suddenly everywhere, covering me with her own body and sliding between my parted legs as her fingers sunk deeper inside me.

She tore her mouth from mine, lips wet and full. Pushing herself upwards, a tiny smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and I knew that she was relishing the effect she had on me. She always had done. It was part of her Succubus nature that she needed the sexual energy of others to survive; to feed and thrive and live. But the hotter we burned together, the more I knew what she really craved from me. Bo wanted to be loved. She needed to be loved. Inside the mystical creature beat a very human heart and right now, it was beating for me. Only me. As I heard my pulse clattering inside my head, beating with a quickened pace and rushing through my ears with tides of want, I dared not give voice to what I needed or wanted. Because what right did I possibly have to ask for it?

“You’re beautiful,” she said, in a matter–of–fact tone. I wanted to believe her. For a second I almost did.

Sliding downwards, she laid a trail of kisses along my breastbone and I let out a protracted, wavering breath. Everywhere her lips touched burned like a brand, making me hers in such a primal way that I pushed my head back against the pillow in supplication. When her mouth closed around one of my nipples and teeth sent razor–edge desire shooting up and down my body, I groaned aloud and called her name. The fingers inside me plunged deeper and spread out, scraping down inner walls that were engorged and begging for release. I dug my heels into the bed and thrust upwards as she leant over me, tugging my nipple away from my body with a hardened grip that was almost too much to endure. Suddenly, she let go and bathed my aching nipple with her tongue, stroking the puckered surface. Arching my back, I curled my fingers tighter into her hair and scraped my nails over her scalp, tugging her unceremoniously back towards my breast. I wanted the pain again, that exquisite hurt that only she could engender and temper. This was my hunger; she was my sustinence.

Her thumb pushed against me, gliding up through my wetness and moving back and forth in a way that trembled through my pelvis, eliciting sighs of sheer pleasure from my thickened throat. It circled my clitoris, nail moving over flesh that was so sensitive it felt as though my whole body was jumping and throbbing under her touch. Pulling at her hair, ignoring the gasp of pain that came from her mouth, I forced her to look at me. She was holding back; she’d learned to control her greed. But I sensed the hunger inside her and, despite all my assertions to the contrary, I wanted her to indulge in it; to let it wash over her, and me, and swallow us both like this.

She said my name and pressed herself down against my thigh, smearing a blistering hot wetness on my skin. It was always going to end this way – always going to be filled with the desperation that sat high in my chest and silenced all the things I couldn’t tell her. And still I needed it; my compulsion was almost as strong as my desire for her.

“You’re holding back,” I said, my voice guttural and cracked.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she told me, her breath coming quick and fast. “I don’t want to – ”

“You won’t.” I grasped at her hair again, exposing the long, white length of her throat as her head lolled back on her neck. Catching a glimpse of her pulse, leaping in anticipation of feeding on me, I swallowed against the rising tide of my emotions. “Do you want it?” I asked, and knew instantly from the shadows in her gaze that she did. “Do you need it?” I urged, as she ground herself down on my thigh again and a groan of assertion escaped her lips.

“Oh…yes,” she sighed, a confession and penance lingering in her tone.

“Then take it,” I said, and saw doubt flicker in her eyes. “Take what you need, as much as you need. You won’t hurt me, Bo. I trust you.”

And she trusted me too. I saw it in the curl of her lip and the relief that whispered from her chest. I felt it in the increasing rhythm of her fingers inside me and the descent of her mouth onto my own. And I sensed it in the way every cell in my body awakened as she fed from me, moving over me like an oncoming storm with eyes of a glistening blue sea. My hand fell from her hair and I reached out blindly, grabbing at her, clutching at her body as she urged me to a keening climax that threw me against her. In the moment I lost control and fled towards the building darkness, she pulled away and I was caught, poised underneath her in that perfect whirl where everything that matters takes hold and the world slips away.

But she hadn’t let me slip away with it. She had anchored me to this world – to the between. Neither one thing nor another. It was a world of our creation; an imperfect and inconstant world, but our world, nonetheless. And as I fell back onto the bed, her arms moving to encircle me, I felt with a sinking heart that it was a world in which we couldn’t possibly stay forever. But we could be here tonight. And for now, that was enough.

~ ~ ~