Table of Contents

heartsways - The Tenth Way: Exposure

LOST GIRL - BO/LAUREN

“Ways To Tell You I’m Sorry” series

The Tenth Way: Exposure

heartsways

Title: Ways To Tell You I’m Sorry - The Tenth Way: Exposure

Author: heartsways

Rating: NC–17

Fandom: Lost Girl

Pairing: Bo/Lauren

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for–profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Bo wants to know what’s going on and only Lauren can tell her.

Author’s Note: Thanks for the awesome beta and advice. Truly appreciated.

The Tenth Way: Exposure

heartsways

Lauren had tried to ignore the incessant pounding on her door. She’d even poured herself another glass of wine – her fourth – and hunkered down in her armchair, attempting to pretend that it simply wasn’t happening. The Morrigan had been clear in her threats and Lauren knew it was only a matter of time before Bo came looking for her. In an oddly childlike and obstinate manner, she’d thought that if she believed that none of this was happening, then perhaps that might prove to be true.

It was only when the sound of her name, shouted wildly and loudly outside her door, reached her ears that she uncurled her body from the chair and got to her feet. This wouldn’t do. Bo needed to stay away from her – as far away as she could so that the stench of betrayal that surrounded her wouldn’t attach itself to the Succubus as well. Lauren’s jaw hardened as she clenched her teeth together and rushed towards her front door, a frown scurrying across her brow as Bo’s fists and voice got louder.

Throwing open the door, she saw the Succubus, hand raised in mid–air and face set in a determined expression that, Lauren knew, would brook no dissent or hear no reason. Her heart sank. She’d hoped that by detaching herself from Bo that the Succubus would see that their paths had diverted. They were no longer set on the same journey together; Bo had her own road to follow, beset by lies and loss. But it was her road, nonetheless. Lauren’s work here was done. She had tried and failed. Loved and lost – in more ways than one. Knowledge of that burned acidic in her throat and ached in her chest. She had opened a bottle of wine and taken up her place in the chair by the fire, waiting for the inevitable retribution that was rumbling its way towards her like an oncoming tropical storm: an uncontrolled tempest, powerful, and always deadly.

Bo’s appearance at her door was the first onset of that storm, face like thunder and eyes flashing lightning as day faded to night. The Succubus dropped her hand and pushed past Lauren, marching into the house with an agitated step that thudded on the wooden floor. A call to arms, Lauren thought, closing the door and following Bo into the lounge. She watched, silent, as Bo turned, swinging around to face the doctor. Bo always looked so beautiful when she was like this, terrifyingly angry and desperately lost in the sheer strength of her own emotions. As Bo’s face worked around words that momentarily failed her, Lauren waited. Just like she’d always done.

“Is this part of your plan, then?” Bo finally said, her voice trembling with the dark, warning clouds that fled through her gaze. “You’re just going to hide away and…and…” Her gaze fell onto Lauren’s glass, placed on the low table in front of the armchair. “And drink wine?” Bo’s voice lifted incredulously and she threw up her hands in the air.

Lauren looked away, her eyes seeking comfort in the solid ground beneath her feet. Her hands moved towards one another, fingers twisting and untwisting as she attempted to not feel anything; to not run and take Bo in her arms and plead for forgiveness. Stoicism, her only companion in this room, forced its way through tear–soaked layers of confusion and regret to lift her shoulders. She straightened up and raised her head to look at Bo, wishing she didn’t have to see the hurt on the other woman’s face and know that she’d put it there.

“I told you,” she said slowly in a near–whisper. “It’s not safe for you to be near me.”

“Right,” Bo’s face set into hard lines of denial. “Keep saying that if it helps, Lauren.”

“Bo, please.” Lauren took a step towards the Succubus and lifted a hand as though that could ward off the torrent of passion sweeping towards her. “You have to stay away. You have to.” She heard the tremor in her voice and closed her eyes briefly, drawing in a ragged breath. Everything she never wanted to feel crept into her tone and made it unsteady – made her unsteady. Made her susceptible to feeling too much all at once and stripping her of all the things she’d built up over so many years alone. Biting at her bottom lip, Lauren opened her eyes and looked at Bo, drinking in the other woman’s beauty like an elixir, as though it could somehow give her the strength she needed.

Bo let out a brittle laugh and rolled her eyes. “You think that being near you puts me in danger? Come on, Lauren. I’m Dark Fae! Don’t you think they’re going to come for me sooner or later?” She swept her hands outwards, effectively presenting herself to the other woman. Lauren glanced away. The lies she’d told and the truth she couldn’t thickened her throat with a tight knot of pain and she winced.

“That’s not the way it works, Bo.” A muscle ticked in Lauren’s neck and she felt the urge to confess all; to dissuade the Succubus from what was the burden of darkness that she appeared to have resigned herself to, if not accepted completely. This was all wrong. It was not only a betrayal of trust, but a betrayal of nature.

“No?” Bo’s voice was harsh and raw. “Then tell me how it works, Lauren. Because you seem to have all the answers – you seem to know what’s best for me.”

“Dammit, Bo! I’m trying to protect you!” Lauren’s voice broke over the words and she clamped her lips tight shut lest she should give vent to the growing gale inside her chest.

Bo stormed forwards a couple of steps, then halted and clenched her hands into fists. “I know what you did,” she said quietly. “I know that you gave the Dark Fae everything you had.” Her gaze narrowed as she saw Lauren’s defeat, etched in lines around brown eyes that stared sadly back at her, the first rains of the season glistening in their depths.

“And then you find out that my parents are Dark,” she let out a burst of mirthless laughter. “I bet you were disappointed, right? Not what you wanted?” Her chin jutted forwards: a challenge, a request.

Lauren stared down at her hands, once more twisted against each other. “None of this is what I wanted, Bo.” That, at least, was the truth. “Not for you.”

“And what about what you want for you?” Bo took another step forwards and Lauren exhaled slowly. The closer she came, the harder it was to stand firm.

“You think I can’t fight against my nature, not in any way. You tell me to feed from other people, you tell me to stay away from you. But you give up everything that’s important to you and put yourself in danger. Why?”

“I…” Lauren began to sway, like a tree bending under the winds of change, whipping around her and tugging mercilessly at her will, tearing at the roots that she’d thought were unshakeable and immovable.

“Why, Lauren?” Bo took another pace towards the doctor, only inches remaining between them. “Tell me why.”

“I…I wanted to…to help you, Bo. Find out who you are.”

“You know who I am.” Bo’s response was immediate, a flash of light leaping into her gaze, breaking through the gloom. “You always have.”

And there it was, Lauren thought. The calm; the eye of the storm where they both found peace in the midst of the maelstrom. Where there was nothing but an implicit understanding of who they were; who they could be to one another. Nothing else seemed to matter very much anymore. And if she could remember this – this moment, then Lauren knew she would always have a piece of Bo’s heart to keep her strong in the dark days ahead.

“Lauren,” Bo urged, impatience quickening her tone. “The Morrigan…The Ash…you put yourself in their sights to help me. Why?”

She peered into the other woman’s eyes, watching as Lauren’s head dipped and shook silently from side to side. She’d known that Lauren was stubborn; it was in the set of her jaw and the determination with which she addressed all Fae issues. But looking at her now, she saw a woman who was broken and flailing to find answers that would appease her own sense of self, never mind Bo’s.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lauren sighed. “You have to go. You need to go.” Lifting her head, she reached out and touched Bo’s shoulder, pressing lightly with her fingers.

But the Succubus reached up and flung Lauren’s hand from her, anger and despair contorting her features. “No!” she shouted, squaring herself firmly in front of the doctor and noticing how she flinched. “Tell me why, Lauren!”

Shattered as she was, split and torn into shreds that barely resembled the woman she’d tried so hard to be, Lauren felt anger burn hot and bright in her chest. It flared quickly, igniting all the passions she’d sought to douse with her actions and her lies. And it met Bo’s gaze, the only incendiary she needed to put aside duty and honor. It caught like a conflagration, scorching Lauren’s skin and turning her gaze to burning embers of undisguised emotion. She’d never been able to control this – this feeling that Bo breathed into her. The only thing that she was sure of was that it was as unyielding and unrelenting as the tumult that surrounded them.

“You know why,” she said, as her fingers slid around Bo’s neck and pulled the other woman to her.

When their lips met, it was with a whimper of blessed relief and a primal hunger that overwhelmed all reason. Bo’s arms flew around Lauren, fingers sliding up into locks of blonde hair and tugging her closer, ever closer. Teeth clashed as lips parted to allow desire to take flight. Lauren felt Bo’s body bumping against her own, desperation crashing limbs against limbs and hands snatching, pulling and tugging at whatever they found in their way. A low groan came from Bo’s mouth, humming against Lauren’s as her tongue sought purchase and gratification. It was answered by a barely disguised sob wrenched from Lauren’s throat as Bo’s mouth made her way down its long lines, lingering over muscle and skin before moving back to her lips once more.

Words could never hope to supplant this kiss, this communication, this feeling. It was everything they’d never said and more than they ever could. It slid into their veins, trickled through them like wildfire, blisteringly hot and consuming all the fears that had kept them apart. It razed all their hurt to the ground and left it, blackened and abrogated so that there was only this. Only them. Only this kiss.

Stumbling against one another, both women were caught in a battle against their own wills, desire rising between them and licking at their senses like a growing flame. Lauren’s skin burned everywhere Bo’s mouth touched it and she knew that her will, always so in control and compliant, was no longer her own. As Bo’s fingers turned their attentions to her pants, plucking and tearing at her belt and buttons, Lauren felt a distant urge to resist. She knew that she should. She knew that the dangers that existed outside her home were all too present and threatening and they simply didn’t have the time for this.

But her urge to resist, like the dangerous line they both walked, was replaced with Bo’s mouth and tongue on her skin. By the strong fingers that were removing her clothes and tugging at her so that her senses were a flurry of maddening wet heat and the whispered entreaties in her ear. Closing her eyes, Lauren swallowed hard as Bo murmured her need and her want in a pressing tone. Feeling her will desert her completely, the doctor’s knees gave way and she fell against the Succubus, letting out a cry of desperate, wanton lust.

They sank to the floor, bodies entwining and hands gripping, clutching, holding on to one another as clothes were shoved aside without care or attention. Bo’s eyes gleamed as she leant over Lauren, their strange inhuman blue shining for a moment. Half naked and hungry, Lauren reached up and tugged at Bo, dragging the Succubus down to her own mouth, groaning at the contact. Her hips thrust upwards, bumping against Bo’s body, legs caught in a tangle of limbs as the Succubus shifted over her, pushing her own leg between Lauren’s. There was no tenderness to this, no tentative expectation or apologetic caress. There was only haste, driven by the uncontrollable want and greedy longing that shone on Bo’s skin and trembled her fingers as they moved in between their bodies.

It was like a drug, this harried contact and undeniable want. As Bo shoved her hand between Lauren’s legs and thrust her fingers into the slippery heat there, she threw back her head and let out a gratified moan, ragged and harsh. This addiction, like her hunger, had been restrained too long and the Succubus knew that should she give way to her cravings, Lauren would never recover. But passion, like addiction, compelled her to feed, demanded that she should take her fill. And as Lauren’s hands slid into her hair and clawed at her back, Bo felt only acquiescence from the other woman, only encouragement and the intrinsic need for fulfillment.

Lauren’s hand pushed between them, scraping over Bo’s belly and underneath her clothes. The Succubus gasped and lifted her head, looking down to see brown eyes darkened with desire, blackened with need and want. The moment that Lauren’s questing fingers touched her, Bo felt herself dissembled, as though Lauren’s touch was melting her from within. Pushing down onto it, the Succubus began to move on Lauren’s fingers, echoing their stroking, thrusting, agonizingly blissful movements with her own.

It wasn’t perfect. It was fevered and fast and hard with the unrestrained desires that they had both tried to keep at bay. Bo’s head dropped, mouth hanging open and flooding Lauren’s ears with her breath; irregular gasps of unbridled pleasure forming a moist heat on the doctor’s neck until Lauren was dizzy with the sound of it. She felt Bo begin to tighten around her fingers; felt the Succubus begin to breath quicker, harder, trying to form words that fled from her mouth as soon as they touched her lips. Bo hadn’t fed for so long that her mind was a sudden haze of pleasure, famine turning to feast in the blink of an eye. Without warning, Bo fastened her lips onto Lauren’s and began to feed, traces of energy spilling out from between their mouths.

Lauren recalled thinking that it was like slipping into a kaleidoscope, having the Succubus taste her this way. Colors slid around behind her closed eyes and amplified the sensations in her body so that they rushed to every nerve ending, exploding in a shower of bright sparks, jerking her hips upwards time and again. Even if she’d wanted to stop, even if she’d paid heed to the tiny voice of warning at the back of her brain, there was nothing to stop this seduction, this glorious rush towards a heightened climax and a heady release. And as Bo drew back, wrenching her mouth from Lauren’s with some difficulty, the doctor could only acknowledge her inherent desire to taste it again and feel it drawing her very essence from her soul, it seemed.

Sucking in a lungful of air, Lauren felt herself begin to tense; felt Bo begin to respond in the same way, too. Despite her weakened state, Lauren knew that Bo hadn’t fed nearly enough to sate her hunger. Flashing above her, Bo’s eyes glistened brightly with blue fire before it dissipated and drained away. Before they looked at one another and saw truth in each other’s gaze. Before their bodies scrambled towards the precipice that yawned before them, enticing them into a whirling, breathtaking freefall that leapt in their chests and rolled in their stomachs.

Crying out, Bo bucked against the woman underneath her, closing her eyes and freezing in a suspended moment of silent ecstasy. It was all Lauren needed, the only incentive to allow herself permission to surrender to Bo’s touch and her own desires. Biting at her lower lip, the doctor whimpered and bore down on Bo’s hand, wondering if she could ever stop wanting this, needing it, longing for it with every part of her heart and soul. Her eyes opened and she looked up to see Bo gazing down at her in wide–eyed awe as her body shook, buffeted by the strength and tumultous power of her want as it coursed through her veins like quicksilver.

For a moment, neither woman spoke. Bo lay down beside Lauren and slowly removed her hand from the doctor’s clothes, letting out a long breath of satisfaction. Turning her head to one side, Lauren looked at Bo, as though seeing her for the first time. Perhaps she was. Emotionally naked and unabashed, Lauren shivered. Her tongue ran dryly over her lips, tasting Bo there and sending a jolt of sensation down her spine again.

“Are you okay?” she asked, seeing a frown draw lines across the Succubus’ forehead.

Sitting up, Bo pulled at her clothes, rearranging them into some semblance of order. Glancing back at Lauren, she dropped her head and shook it shamefully. “I fed from you,” she whispered glumly. “I didn’t mean…are you okay?” Her eyes sought out the other woman’s and she peered into them, woefully apologetic.

Pushing herself up from the floor, Lauren blinked and drew in a fortifying breath. Her attire in disarray, she half–smiled at how it was an apt representation of her insides right now, jumbled and rumpled and not at all the way she cared to look. She reached out and put a hand on Bo’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“But you stopped yourself,” she said reassuringly. “I always knew you could, Bo. You just had to know it too. Besides, you barely took enough to do any real damage.” As though to prove her point, Lauren made as if to stand up, but found that her legs were still trembling and quite unable to support her. Slumping back down on the floor, she let out a surprised and embarrassed laugh as Bo sprang forwards and supported her, strong hands around her back.

“I’m sorry,” Lauren whispered, and fumbled with the buttons on her shirt, looking anywhere but at the woman beside her.

Bo reached out, folding her fingers over Lauren’s and stilling their movements. “Don’t,” she said softly. “Don’t apologize. God, I should be the one saying sorry. I fed from you and I – ”

“Stopped yourself,” Lauren interjected firmly. She glanced down at Bo’s hands on her own and took a breath as the dizziness in her brain began to fade to a dull, swirling hum.

“And you?” She looked up at Bo, frowning at the Succubus in enquiry. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?”

Bo’s lips twisted at the tone of the doctor; reverting to type was like second nature to Lauren now. Even as the remnants of passion began to fade from their bodies, Lauren’s concern for her Succubus health stepped in to cover them with concern. It was almost touching, in a way, and Bo shrugged and shook her head, although not unkindly.

“I’m fine,” she said in a soothing tone. “It was…kinda like having a shot of espresso when you haven’t slept for a week. Really great,” she qualified, “but not enough to stop me from feeling…”

Her voice trailed away as she frowned and let out a tiny sigh. “And I have no idea where that metaphor was going,” she said with a quizzical grin.

As Lauren let out another self–conscious murmur of laughter, Bo stroked her thumb over the other woman’s knuckles and smiled. Nobody would ever believe her if she told them that Lauren could be like this, so utterly undone and torn asunder. The mask she wore and completed with an enigmatic smile had fooled everyone. Well, Bo thought with another faint grin, almost everyone. But she treasured the secret knowledge of this; the moments in which Lauren was revealed, undisguised. They sustained her in ways that satiating her hunger never could. Never would.

Lauren shivered slightly and looked around the room, reality rushing in with the cool air to slake her skin with a stark brightness. Blinking rapidly, she gazed at Bo and her smile faded. They could lose themselves in one another, but they could never escape what lay beyond her door, or the dark threats that were lurking outside, just waiting to ensnare them. Bo saw the concern flitting through Lauren’s eyes and shifted a tiny bit closer, offering whatever comfort she could to the troubled doctor before her.

“It’s going to be okay, you know,” Bo ventured.

Lauren’s eyebrows rose and she looked at Bo with cynicism. “The Morrigan came here, Bo. She knows that I contacted the Dark to find out about your parents.” Glancing away from the concern that tightened Bo’s features, she let out a wavering sigh. “And when The Ash discovers that I went to the Dark without his permission…”

Shrugging, Lauren let out a laugh and swallowed as tears shone in her eyes. “Nothing about this is going to be remotely okay.”

“The Morrigan was here?” Bo’s voice was alert, sharp. “She threatened you?”

“Well she wasn’t here for tea, Bo.” Lauren regretted the comment the moment it left her mouth. Bo drew in a short breath and straightened, her hands falling from Lauren’s to ball into fists, clenching and unclenching in front of her chest. “Now you know how this world works,” she added, tilting her head onto one side.

“That…that Kis…Kit…”

“Kitsune,” Lauren supplied with a nod. “Sagi. Yes, Bo, he told her all about it. I was so stupid to think I could trust him. God!” She threw a hand up, shoving at her hair and blinking away a couple of tears that slid slowly down her cheeks. “I was so stupid!”

Bo darted forwards and took Lauren into her arms, holding her close. “Hey, come on. You did something amazing.” She put her hands onto the other woman’s shoulders and pushed her away a little, looking into her eyes and offering a small smile of comfort. “Something wicked crazy and dangerous, but amazing all the same. And I’ll never forget it, okay?”

Despite herself, Lauren nodded. Perhaps it was this that had prompted her actions – the gratitude and love shining brightly in Bo’s eyes. Or perhaps it was for the only reason people did anything at all. The only reason she had ever really needed.

“So where do I find Sagi?” Bo asked, letting go of Lauren and rising to her feet, pulling at her jacket, tugging it more firmly around her.

“What?”

“Where do I find him?” Bo demanded. “He tricked you, Lauren. He stole your work and gave you up to The Morrigan without a second thought. I might not know much about how this world works, but I do know that he won’t be doing it again if I’ve got any say in the matter.”

Lauren frowned and shook her head. “It’s too late for revenge, Bo. I set this in motion and I’m the one who’s culpable. Sagi can’t do anything about that now.”

“Oh yeah?” The Succubus lifted her chin and stared at Lauren. “He can hurt, though. I mean, he can feel pain, right?”

“Bo!” Lauren gasped. “Please don’t. Don’t do this. It won’t help.”

“It’ll help me,” Bo growled. Her jaw hardened as she cast a parting glance towards Lauren and made for the door. But a hand around her wrist stayed her progress and she swung around, glaring at Lauren. She anticipated pleas and persuasions, for Lauren to beg her to stay. As her eyes met those of the woman that she knew she loved, her heart beat just a little bit faster in fear, hope, devotion. Lauren wasn’t strong enough to stop her and they both knew that. But the fingers curling around her arm held no restraint, no hindrance. There was only a sad acceptance of who they were now, thrown back into the storm once more.

“Be careful,” Lauren said, and let go of Bo’s arm.

continued in

The Eleventh Way: Revenge