Table of Contents

heartsways - The Fourth Way: Decisions

LOST GIRL - BO/LAUREN

“Ways To Tell You I’m Sorry” series

The Fourth Way: Decisions

heartsways

Title: Ways To Tell You I’m Sorry - The Fourth Way: Decisions

Author: heartsways

Rating: NC–17

Fandom: Lost Girl

Pairing: Bo/Lauren

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for–profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Lauren wants to tell Bo she’s sorry, but what will it take for Bo to listen?

Author’s Note: Thanks for the awesome beta and advice. Truly appreciated. For some reason LJ cut was being a complete and uncooperative bitch today. Sorry about that.

The Fourth Way: Decisions

heartsways

Kenzi stood as squarely in the doorway to her and Bo’s home as her small frame would allow. Lifting her chin, she narrowed her eyes and looked carefully at Lauren, hovering on the doorstep. The doctor had turned up at midnight, gently knocking on the door for almost a minute before she leaned forwards, discerning sounds inside the house that indicated nobody would hear her polite taps on the doorframe. In fact, it had taken some vigorous pounding with her fist before the noise was curtailed somewhat and Kenzi had pulled open the door.

And now here they were, facing one another down with the disturbing sounds of shouts and screams echoing from the lounge. Kenzi’s proclivities for violent video games hadn’t lessened despite the visceral and real–life violence she encountered almost every day. If anything, her involvement in the tribal Fae world had only served to give her a taste for battle. Catching a glimpse of the brightly colored images flitting across the huge television screen on the wall, Lauren demurred somewhat. She wasn’t exactly sure that evil robot hookers fell under the Fae’s jurisdiction. Or, indeed, under anyone’s on planet Earth.

“So, are you going to let me in?” Her gaze flickered back to where Kenzi was staring at her with undisguised suspicion.

“What’s with the late night visit?” Kenzi looked Lauren up and down with the a hard gaze that could cut diamonds. Lesser people than the doctor would have withered under it in an instant. “Or is this a house call? Come to save a life? Nobody’s sick here.”

“I’m here to see Bo,” Lauren sighed. Of all the people in Bo’s life, Kenzi was the most protective, the most territorial. She was also the most loyal, something which had not escaped Lauren’s attention. It somehow made it easier to encourage Bo to take a leap of faith, knowing that Kenzi would be there to catch her should she fall.

Kenzi’s eyebrows lifted underneath the hat that was pulled firmly down over her brow. “Oh, really?” she intoned. “But does Bo want to see you?”

Patience, usually Lauren’s faithful companion, deserted her and left her alone and irritated on the doorstep. Heaving another sigh, she lifted her hands in a silent plea. “Come on, Kenzi.”

If the diminutive barrier to the house was going to reply, she was cut short by the appearance of another figure behind her. Bo frowned, her eyes moving from the back of Kenzi’s head to where Lauren stood, statuesque and beautiful in that overt way she had. Bo couldn’t help the faint smile that spread across her lips. She and Lauren had reached something of a detente, if nothing else. There had been a few awkward phone calls and a couple of less awkward consultations after the doctor had revealed more about herself than Bo suspected she’d wanted to. But the icy stand–off between them had melted a little, if not thawed completely. And Bo found that she was actually pleased that Lauren was standing outside her house in the middle of the night.

All of which brought her to the natural question that sprung into her head: why was Lauren standing outside her house in the middle of the night?

“Lauren?” she said, as Kenzi stood back a little and fixed her with a warning glare. “What’s…has something happened? Are you okay?” Panic edged into her tone as her voice rose and she pushed forwards, placing a hand onto Kenzi’s shoulder, effectively shoving her aside.

“Oh…no,” Lauren held up her hand to elicit calm. “Everything’s fine. I just…I wanted to see you. Talk to you.” Her eyes moved briefly towards Kenzi and she shook her head, a little embarrassed. It was one thing to be openly needy with Bo, but quite another to do it in front of the glowering thief who was, even now, judging her for it.

“So why are you standing outside?” Bo stepped back, ushering Lauren into the house and closing the door behind her.

“Your bodyguard,” Lauren glanced at Kenzi, who rolled her eyes and let out a puff of dismissive air from her lips, “was reluctant to let me in.”

Bo let out a little laugh and threw her arm around Kenzi’s shoulders, tugging her towards the lounge as they walked through the house. “Aw, she’s just over–protective,” she explained, pulling her friend against her. “It’s okay, Kenzi. Lauren’s allowed to visit. It’s fine.”

Reaching the couch, Kenzi extricated herself from Bo’s embrace and threw herself onto it, reaching for the controls to her video game with a backwards glance at the other two women. She didn’t understand them. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. All she knew was that Bo and Lauren were together, then they weren’t, and now it looked like they were again. Especially if the way they were smiling at one another was any indication.

“You know, just once I’d like to be informed of what the frickin’ hell is going on with you two,” she said, squinting at the television screen and pursing her lips as she realized she was going to have to start the game all over again. Letting out a sigh, she tilted her head onto one side and shrugged. “I mean, I only live here,” she said lightly, although her tone was offended and brought a faint flush to Bo’s face. “I’m only supposed to be your best friend.”

Bo looked at Lauren, the two exchanging a glance of resigned and silent apology. If they were unable to explain their difficult and uncertain relationship to themselves, then how on earth could they even begin to explain it to Kenzi? But Bo reached out, putting her hand onto Kenzi’s shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture and offered a placatory smile.

“Sorry,” she said gently. Kenzi shrugged, but seemed somewhat satisfied with the apology.

“I need to talk to you,” Lauren said, leaning towards Bo and lowering her voice to a solemn, grave tone.

“Okay,” Bo nodded. “Here, or…or is this private?” She was aware that Lauren hated appearing vulnerable in front of anyone – everyone, in fact. Privacy was something she held dearly, clutched against her like a shield; the defensive weapon she used to keep herself safe. And from the expression drawing lines on her face right now, it was clear that whatever she had to say was for Bo’s ears only.

“Uh, let’s go upstairs,” Bo suggested. Lauren nodded in gratitude and they turned towards the staircase to make their way up to Bo’s room.

“I know what that means!” a voice called at them from the couch. Kenzi’s head appeared up over the back of it and she stared at them pointedly. “You two,” she twirled her fingers around in the air and tilted her head to one side. “Going upstairs to…talk? Horizontally, right? Clothing optional.”

“Oh God…” Lauren whispered and rolled her eyes. She could tolerate a lot of things, but Kenzi’s ability to strip things down to their most offensive and horribly naked truths was really quite disconcerting. And irritating, as until this very moment, she’d hadn’t actually contemplated having sex with Bo tonight. In fact, she’d wondered if she would ever have sex with Bo again. Those thoughts were the ones that drifted into her troubled head often – usually in the silence of her bed, where the tantalizing thoughts of Bo’s limbs against her taunted and teased her. Sometimes the memory of how the Succubus’ sighs and moans had brought her such intense pleasure made her wonder if she could carry on without experiencing them again.

“If you two are going to get your Fae on, I’m outta here,” Kenzi shouted at them as Bo gently pushed Lauren towards the staircase. As they disappeared, she let out a sigh and slumped back down onto the couch. The prospect of shooting robot hookers while Bo and Lauren made sweet, sweet love was less than appealing. And it wasn’t as though she hadn’t sat downstairs before while Bo had ventured into sexual exploits that would make the aforementioned hookers blush; it was really more to do with the fact that Lauren had been different. Bo had said so. When it came to sex, Kenzi understood that it was a biological imperative for Bo. But when it came to emotions, the Succubus had entered new territory and that was something Kenzi worried over. If Lauren was still different from Bo’s other conquests, then her friend might be in for a world of trouble when it came to a romantic entanglement with the doctor.

Perhaps she should stay, just in case something happened and Bo needed her. Lauren had proven patchy at best when it came to reliability, even if she had saved their lives on several occasions. But she wore her own emotions too closely to her chest and Kenzi didn’t trust that; couldn’t rely on Lauren not to hurt Bo again or use her for personal gain with The Ash. The world of the Fae was complicated enough without getting romantically attached to someone in the thick of it.

Kenzi lightly fingered the controls to her video game and pursed her lips thoughtfully. Still, happiness was so rare in both the human and Fae worlds that maybe everyone just had to grab on to what little they could and hang on for dear life.Yeah, she decided, throwing the controls to one side and reaching for her jacket. Robot hookers could conquer the world tonight. Trick’s bar would still be open and what with that whole ‘free drinks for life’ offer still on, time was wasting.

* * * * *

“I’m sorry it’s late,” Lauren said apologetically as she entered Bo’s room and turned around, looking for a place to sit. The only free space was the bed and she moved towards it reluctantly, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t look like she was expecting anything. She’d learned that expectations were a luxury she couldn’t really afford – not with Bo. Not with anyone. She’d tempered her wants and needs so that now her life stretched out in a straight line ahead of her, perpendicular to everything that other humans experienced. But she wasn’t like other humans, and the line she followed as a ward of The Ash was set out; certain in its own design. A design that had been created for her by powers beyond her ken and absolutely beyond her control.

But lines sometimes became blurry and hard to follow, none more so than now, as Bo stood in front of her with concern and interest flitting across her face in broad swathes of color.

“I want to help you,” she continued, twisting her fingers together in her lap. “The information you need about your parents…I want to try and help you get it.” Lauren almost gasped at her own audacity. She’d thought long and hard about the potential dangers of even talking about Bo’s search for her parentage, but her heart always threw up the same solution and she was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore.

“What?” Bo frowned, clearly confused. What little she knew about Fae politics was enough to tell her that Lauren had little to no sway with the Dark Elders. She’d said as much herself.

“I want to help you get the information you need,” Lauren repeated. “I think I can find a way of getting it without you being involved.”

“You’re going to go to the Dark Fae and ask them?” Bo said incredulously. “Seriously, Lauren, come on.” She moved towards the other woman, sitting on the bed beside her and shaking her head. For a Light Fae, it was dangerous. For a human like Lauren, inextricably bound to The Ash, it was suicide.

“No,” Lauren shook her head and attempted a placatory smile. “There are protocols…procedures. They’re not easy to carry out and The Morrigan won’t like it, but I think I might be able to – “ She was lying, but Bo didn’t need to know that. Just like she didn’t need to know that if Lauren were to dare question the Dark, the consequences would be dire.

“Lauren, no!” Bo’s hand darted out and covered Lauren’s. She rubbed at the cold fingers beneath her own and wondered, not for the first time, if all the people she cared about were doomed in some way; destined to get close to her only to leave again. The thought panicked her, especially as she saw herself reflected in pools of earnest brown that were unwaveringly fixed on her face. She had no family of her own – not yet, so the people she chose to trust had become her surrogates. She didn’t want to lose them, not now. Perhaps not ever. And she might not trust Lauren completely, but what little faith she did have in the doctor she intended to keep close until it gained strength and longevity. That alone was enough to flutter fears around her heart on dark, frightened wings.

“You can’t go running off to the Dark Fae. It’s too dangerous. And you don’t need to do it to tell me that you’re sorry,” Bo told the doctor, seeing the truth in her suggestion echo into Lauren’s gaze. “I know you’re sorry.”

Lauren’s gaze dropped now, down to her lap where their hands were still clasped together, fingers intertwined. Absent–mindedly, she rubbed her thumb over Bo’s knuckles and bit at her lower lip. She didn’t want to do it to validate her apologies. The reasons why she wanted to help Bo were indistinct, whirling somewhere around inside her and touching lightly on her heart and brain all at the same time. Sometimes sense won; sometimes emotion did. But the impetus always drove her closer to Bo and manifested itself in an almost desperate need to make her happy, keep her safe.

The sound of her own name reached her ears and a finger crooked under her chin, lifting her head so that she met Bo’s eyes. “I do know you’re sorry,” the Succubus said softly. “You don’t need to prove it to me, okay? And even if you did, putting yourself in the hands of the Dark Fae is crazy. You’re human, Lauren, and no matter how much I think of humans, the Fae…well, they don’t.” Bo drew her lips into a tight line and shrugged slightly.

Despite the aspirations she might have had, or even the false notions of standing with The Ash, Lauren knew only too well the limitations of her kind. She wasn’t like them. She wasn’t like Bo. And for all her protestations about being separate and alone, Bo at least had something in common with the Fae and could garner their respect. Lauren barely registered attention. She was dismissed, discounted, unsolicited. The Ash might rely on her council, but he was singular among the Fae. Most of them – and especially The Morrigan – sneered at her as though she were a pet they kept around through grace rather than need.

And Bo?

Well, Bo’s romantic notions didn’t belong to either world. If they had, then she would understand that anything between them was forbidden and repulsive to most Fae. Humans were for fun and food, not for love. And no matter how hard Lauren tried to insinuate herself within the Fae world, she would always bear the burden of her humanity. Woefully inadequate and shamefully subservient.

She shrugged helplessly at Bo. “I just thought…I don’t know,” she let out a sad laugh. “I thought I could help.”

“Hm,” Bo smiled ruefully in agreement. “You think too much.” The finger that had been underneath Lauren’s chin slid down the line of the doctor’s jaw. Soon it was replaced by a palm that cupped a pale cheek and a thumb that stroked Lauren’s cheekbone. The easy intimacy that Bo could always feel was tentative, almost fearful. This time, there were too many questions unanswered and too few trusts confirmed. They echoed in the shadows of Bo’s gaze and Lauren blinked as though she could dismiss them through sheer will power alone.

But the things she wanted and the things she had were indistinct and ambiguous, more diametrically opposed than uniform and combined. She drew in a breath, feeling it hitch unevenly in her chest. For a person whose life had been ordered by routine, Lauren knew that any and every time she was with Bo her notions of control were as unreliable as her actions. If she were to relinquish restraint and give way to the hope in her chest, then how could she ever hope to regain it again? And yet, it threatened to drive her to near madness with the imperative to indulge it time and again.

Bo’s eyes gleamed in the muted yellow light of her bedroom. Forgiveness had never come easily to her; she’d spent the last ten years unable to forgive herself and it still rankled, was still tender and bruised. What Lauren had done wasn’t forgotten easily, but Bo knew it was borne out of something intangible and undeniable, just as it was now. The pressure of her hand increased on Lauren’s face, fingers sliding to curl around the long, slender neck of the doctor, drawing her in towards Bo’s eager lips. As the distance between them decreased, Bo heard a faint sigh escape Lauren’s mouth as her eyelids fluttered and then closed, hiding the sorrowful expression that lay behind them.

“No…” Lauren murmured in the seconds before their lips touched. “No…Bo, stop. Stop.” She placed a hand on the other woman’s shoulder and pushed her backwards, frowning at the confusion that spread across Bo’s features and the vague sense of offended surprise that followed it.

“Um…what?” Bo wasn’t used to people saying no, and it lifted her tone as she leaned back slightly. With most dissenters, her Succubus abilities soon convinced them otherwise. But she was determined not to use them with Lauren. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be right. Most of all, it wouldn’t be true. And there had already been too many lies swirling in and around them like predators just waiting for the right moment to swoop in and make falsehood a reality.

“What’s…what’s wrong? Don’t you want to?” Bo dropped her hand and drew it back towards herself but Lauren caught it and held between them.

“Of course I do,” she let out a soft laugh and shook her head at the absurdity of not wanting this amazing creature sitting beside her. Of not really understanding what ‘want’ meant until she’d been with Bo. But in the distance traveled, it seemed that they’d taken a wrong turn somewhere and this felt too soon, too much after recent events. Too easy, as well. If they indulged in the longing that flared between them then what might happen? The straight line Lauren always followed was broken, fragmented and disappearing into an uncertain horizon. Decisions always came with consequences; Lauren knew that better than anyone. Being with Bo threw judgment awry and took decisions away without considered contemplation. In as much as she wanted Bo, Lauren also wanted to assuage the fear that ran on the heels of her longing, always attendant and threatening.

“Bo, you and I…” Lauren began, then dipped her head and looked at their hands again. How easily they fit together in strength and delicacy. Taking a breath, she fortified herself and lifted her head.

“It’s not safe,” she finally said. “Look at what happened to Lou Anne. Fae and humans aren’t meant to be together. It’s forbidden.”

“I don’t care what they think,” Bo scoffed, tossing her hair defiantly.

“But I do,” Lauren protested. “And the more this keeps happening, the more it’s going to mean to everyone involved.”

“Come on, Lauren. I don’t belong to the Light or the Dark. You think they’re really going to care if I have sex with a human?”

For a moment, Lauren simply stared at the incredulous expression broadening Bo’s features. Of course. Sex. Bo’s sustinence and nourishment. After how she’d hurt the Succubus; after how they’d reached a fragile friendship once more, sex was the only certainty between them. Perhaps she’d been right after all: having expectations only meant living in a holding period of hope before they were dashed in front of her and she was left alone again.

A low laugh escaped her lips, tinged with bitterness and acceptance. “I wasn’t talking about the Fae,” she said quietly. “I was talking about me.”

Flushing crimson with the admission, she tore her hands from Bo’s and got up off the bed, taking a few steps across the bedroom floor. What was that adage? In case of emergency, move to a safe distance? Lauren was beginning to wonder if there was any distance that was ‘safe’ when it came to Bo. She agitatedly wrung her hands together and shook her head. This had to stop; confessions weren’t really her forte. She lived within the rigid lines of the life she had chosen. The way she felt about Bo threw her entirely and utterly out of her element and was, even now, lying low and tremulous in her stomach. She let out another laugh and rolled her eyes. Nothing was more ridiculous or pitiful than a renouncement of everything she’d worked so hard to achieve.

But it made the decision–making process much easier and the consequences more bearable. Lauren knew, in that moment, what it was she had to do.

Turning, she offered Bo a bright smile that never reached her eyes and straightened, standing tall for what felt like the first time in a long while.

“I should go,” she said, inclining her head towards the Succubus.

Bo leapt up from the bed and moved across the room in two short paces. “Don’t go,” she said, grasping Lauren’s wrist.

Lauren’s lips curved in appeasement, but she shook her head. “Bo…”

“Stay.” Bo’s breath quickened and she moved in closer to Lauren, so near to her that the doctor felt the heat of Bo’s skin and breath tickling at her cheek. “Stay with me, Lauren. Please.”

In the moments between thought and action there lay a nebulous swathe of uncertainty. Lauren had always avoided it, preferring to make decisions based on logic and science. But uncertainty had always characterized her relationship with Bo and she had learned to navigate it with caution and reserve lest it should overwhelm her completely. Tonight, in this moment, she felt no such caution. Once before she had put someone else’s welfare ahead of her own – breathed life into Claire’s existence and enabled her to thrive. It had been an action engendered by the truest form of love that one being could have for another and sacrifice came easily. Too easily. Too foolishly.

So as Bo lifted a hand and trailed her fingers through Lauren’s hair, clarity came quickly, suddenly. Lauren breathed out, letting go of all the qualms that restrained her and leaned forwards, pressing her lips against Bo’s. Arms slid around one another and bodies met as their kiss deepened. The empty spaces became filled with flesh and bone, with sounds that emerged from hungry mouths and thickened throats. It was instantaneous, electric. It was necessary.

Pulling back, Bo’s eyes burned hot and bright as she looked at Lauren, her gaze roaming over the doctor’s face with a heightened, dazed expression. She smiled, and saw it returned in the graceful curve of Lauren’s mouth. And this time, it flooded brown eyes with a strange joy that glistened in their depths.

It was with an odd sense of relief that Lauren allowed Bo to unbutton her shirt, every inch of material that parted to reveal skin underneath replaced with a trail of kisses down her chest. Shucking off her jacket where it fell onto the floor behind her, Lauren reached for Bo and tugged at the tank top the Succubus was wearing. Her blunt nails scraped insistent lines of desire up Bo’s back as the top was removed, eliciting a moan that thrilled all the way down Lauren’s spine. By the time the tank top was thrown to the floor, Lauren felt fingers scrabbling at her pants, harried with a need matched only with her own sense of barely restrained urgency. Clothes were as easily removed as the notion of guilt that tugged at Lauren’s mind, and by the time they were naked, clutching at one another and stumbling towards the bed, there was only a wanton submission to this; an acceptance of what could be and a blatant disregard of what would be.

Falling onto the bed, both women became entangled in one another, limbs curling around limbs and lips straining to reach lips. As her mouth moved to drag a wet line of heat along Lauren’s jaw, Bo heard the doctor let out a long wavering breath close to her ear. She loved it when Lauren started to unravel this way. It was a rare, beautiful thing, to see her come undone like this. Pushing herself upwards, Bo looked down at the woman beneath her and gloried in what she saw. Lauren’s eyes were closed, two tiny lines on her brow as she lay back, exposed and raw. Her mouth was open, lips blushed and swollen with kisses. A pulse beat wildly in her neck and Bo resisted the urge to capture it with her tongue and taste the heat of it. Lauren’s breath was uneven, her chest rising and falling as she sucked in air and let it out with a tiny moan. Bo couldn’t help but stare. It was intoxicating. Everything about Lauren was intoxicating and in these moments of utter intimacy, the Succubus felt quite punch drunk, as though she’d already fed and taken her fill.

Lauren opened her eyes. “What?” she asked, enquiry furrowing further into her brow than desire had done. “Bo, what is it?”

Shaking her head helplessly, Bo let out a self–conscious laugh and shrugged. “You,” she leant down and placed a gentle kiss on Lauren’s mouth. “Just you.”

The expression that passed over Lauren’s features was in turn diffident and unassumingly flattered. She lifted a hand and tucked a stray strand of dark hair behind Bo’s ear, tracing the contours of the Succubus’ cheek with a single finger. If there was a way to capture this moment in some sort of suspended animation, then Lauren might even stay here forever. As it was, she knew that they had this night together. One night in which to be everything to one another before daylight came and brought with it the stark realities of their different worlds. So, for one night, she could almost forget the vagaries of outside and allow herself to believe in this. In their two bodies, intertwined in this bed. It tempted her with a future that didn’t exist and a past that could be erased with the simplicity of an embrace.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Lauren whispered, eyes wide and regretful.

“I know,” Bo answered. And she did. She knew it now more than ever. For someone who’d always used sex as a means to an end, there was a constant element of disguise and fakery in her intimacy. But lying in bed with Lauren like this, she felt stripped of pretense. She no longer needed to conceal her true nature or taste regret in the aftermath of lovemaking. The freedom offered to her in the simplicity of union evoked a newer hunger deep within her, one that could only be sated by the fingers that were stroking lines of sensation down her arm, bringing awakening and prescience with every caress.

Shifting again, Lauren rolled Bo onto her back and leaned up over her. Strands of blonde hair fell onto Bo’s skin, whispering over it and eliciting a shiver from the Succubus. Lauren smiled, feeling Bo’s arms slide around her and clasp her close as though the contact of their skin wasn’t nearly enough. As she moved up and over the other woman, Lauren felt her necklace slide around her neck, the amulet on it dropping against Bo’s flesh. She’d worn it with an assumed sense of pride on the day that The Ash had given it to her. To her, it represented her loyalty and his grace. Her servitude and his magnanimity. The end of her life and the beginning of another – the sacrifice she’d made to ensure that happened.

But tonight she frowned at its weight, at the heavy chain it put around her heart and the restrictions it placed on her. She didn’t belong to it any more than it belonged to her now. Not in this bed. Not tonight.

Pushing herself up, she knelt between Bo’s legs and shoved at her hair, reaching around behind her neck.

“What’s wrong?” Bo struggled up onto her elbows and looked up at the other woman’s lithe body, glorious and naked in lines of impossible perfection.

Unclasping the necklace, Lauren removed it and held it up between them, the twisted silver catching the half–light and gleaming with retribution. As her eyes met Bo’s, she saw her hand tremble, causing the amulet to sway from side to side in the air.

“What are you doing?” Bo questioned. “I thought you had to wear – ”

“Not here,” Lauren interjected, voice grave with the mere action of removal. A faint smile tugged at her mouth as she dropped the necklace and amulet onto the bedside table and turned back to the woman beneath her. Sacrifice, when justified, was always the right decision. And removing her chains had barely been a decision at all tonight.

“I don’t belong to him here. Not tonight,” she said, sliding down Bo’s body and pressing her lips against the Succubus’ neck, nipping at the skin there. Bo’s nails raked her back and she arched into them with a groan as her mouth moved to the other woman’s, tongue pushing past lips with increasing possession and longing. If this night was all they could have, then she intended to have it as a free woman and give herself to a newer affiliation without the trappings of slavery. And as she dragged a hand down the length of Bo’s body, Lauren’s loneliness dissipated into the ether around them as though it had never existed at all.

* * * * *

Bo had been sleeping for forty–five minutes before Lauren shifted and inched out of the lazy embrace that had followed their lovemaking. She was dizzy and a little disoriented, but Bo had been careful not to feed too heavily and taken only as much as Lauren was prepared to give. It had been a perfect experiment in symbiosis, she thought, as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, lifting a hand to her head and suppressing the groan that sprung to her throat. They had been aligned in body and in spirit. A grin spread over her lips for a brief second and she shook her head, rolling her eyes at the sort of language that she’d only ever seen in trashy romantic novels. But perhaps pulp fiction had a purpose in engendering hope in humans and encouraging them to strive for something so few people truly experienced. She wouldn’t have changed a thing, should she be able to do it again.Which I won’t, she told herself as she padded around the bedroom on silent feet, picking up pieces of her clothing and sliding them on. Every now and then, she glanced at Bo as the Succubus murmured something in her sleep and rolled over, burying her face into the pillow underneath it. By the time she was dressed, the room was silent again except for the regulated sound of Bo’s breathing.

Moving towards the bed, Lauren picked up her necklace from the table beside it and stared down at the silver in her palm. With a rueful expression, she replaced it around her neck and tucked it beneath her shirt where it nestled against her skin as though it had never been removed at all. But it felt cold to the touch and she couldn’t repress the shiver that it brought to her bones, an almost ominous acceptance of the decision that had been made long before she unclasped it.

As she straightened and tugged at the hem of her shirt before pulling her jacket around her slender body, Lauren looked down at Bo. Her gaze traveled the length of the other woman, half hidden beneath the red cotton sheets that had been pulled hastily over them as a night chill crept into the room. She drank Bo in, consumed every curve, every inch of exposed skin and flesh. Her hand reached out to touch tousled hair before she caught herself and snatched it back with a hardening of her mouth and a resignation that she’d felt before, years ago.

“Goodbye, Bo,” she breathed, so quietly that it dissipated into the still air almost immediately. Then she turned on her heel and walked from the room without so much as a backward glance.

continued in

The Fifth Way: Actions