RIZZOLI & ISLES

Physics

m (author18)

Rizzisles Fic: Physics

Author: m

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing: Jane Rizzoli / Maura Isles

Rating: PG–13ish

Summary: so…there was this series of hilarious tweets that were begging to be made into a fic. This is my version of that fic. Thanks to misicka47 for the idea – hope this quickie passes inspection!

Disclaimer: They ain’t mine.

Physics

m (author18)

Jane dropped into her favorite booth, mindful of the beer in her hand as she slid all the way in so that she was able to prop her feet up on the seat.

“Aaaah,” she sighed, relieved to put her feet up after an afternoon spent playing softball against the beat cops.

“Don’t look so happy there sis,” Frankie laughed as he took the bench opposite her. “You guys still lost today.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jane mumbled as she lifted her bottle to her lips. “You got lucky junior.”

Frankie laughed. “Lucky? That last dinger I knocked probably hasn’t even landed yet!”

“The only reason you hit that was because Maura was pitching,” Jane laughed. “You were o–fer until then buckaroo.”

Frankie grinned. “Probably. Why did you let her pitch anyways?”

“She wanted to try,” Jane shrugged.

“And you can’t tell her no,” he teased as he lifted his eyes to watch the blonde in question.

“Look at her,” Jane waved at her girlfriend who was now playing darts with Detective Crowe. “She’s adorable. Who can say no to that face?”

“Still though,” Frankie laughed and shook his head. “First softball and now darts? You’ve got it bad to let her at two sports in one day.”

“First of all,” Jane took a sip of her beer. “I don’t let her do anything. That girl is like a force of nature – nothing can stand in her way. Second of all, I hardly think darts qualifies as a sport.”

“I won!” Maura exclaimed happily as she slid in next to Jane.

“Yeah, yeah,” Crowe mumbled. “Beginner’s luck.”

Jane laughed. “No, you just suck at darts Crowe. Anybody can beat you.”

“Gee, thanks babe,” Maura smiled as she took in the collection of empties littering the table. “Of course I won, it’s just applied physics. You keep drinking like you are though, and you won’t be able to beat anybody at darts.”

“Applied physics?” Frankie laughed.

“Of course,” Maura turned her attention on the younger Rizzoli. “You see, there’s the mass of the object, the distance it needs to travel, optimum release angle and velocity, accounting for the gravitational pull extracted on the object while it’s in flight…” she trailed off, recognizing that she’d lost her audience.

“Aren’t smart college girls sexy?” Jane smiled at her brother.

“Where?” Maura looked around.

“Maura,” Jane sighed as she pulled the blonde in close and pressed a loving kiss to her temple. “You’re ridiculous. Adorable, but ridiculous.”

“Oh, you were talking about me?” Maura smiled and kissed Jane softly. “Thank you then.”

“Okay,” Frankie laughed. “You two are so sweet I’m getting a cavity here. C’mon Janie, bet I can kick your ass at physics,” he motioned toward the empty board.

Maura laughed and allowed Jane out of the booth, sliding back in and nursing her martini while she watched the two Rizzoli’s battle it out in a rather raucous game of darts.

“How’s it going?” Maura asked as she sidled up next to her girlfriend sometime during their second game.

“I’m losing,” Jane growled.

“It’s all about the physics Jane,” Maura laughed and knocked back the remainder of her drink. “Here,” she slurred slightly, “let me show you,” she reached out and grabbed the darts out of Jane’s hand and lined up her first toss.

It ended up two feet below the board.

“Um, Maura, I think you need to give up the flying scalpels,” Frankie grinned.

“Nah,” Maura grinned at him. “I so got this!”

“See, what did I tell you?” Jane murmured to her brother. “Force of nature. Just, you know, make sure everybody stays out of her way.”

“I got it now,” Maura giggled as she lined the next flying scalpel up at the target. “See, it’s all about the correct release point so that the dart flies on a perfect positive sine arc.”

“Sine?” Frankie laughed as he scanned the crowd to make sure everybody was out of the way.

“Sine, cosine, tangent,” Maura extrapolated. “Trigonometry.”

“I thought darts was physics,” Jane laughed.

“Physics is applied mathematics,” Maura smirked as she threw a perfect bullseye.

“Holy fuck,” Jane gaped and took the shot that Frost had offered.

“Do you play better when you’re inebriated?” Maura laughed as she closed her eyes and threw another bullseye.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhit,” Jane, Frankie, Frost and Crowe whistled.

Jane knocked back a second shot, and then a third. “Probably not,” she conceded as she rolled her shoulders to loosen up. “But it makes losing a lot more bearable.”

Maura laughed and downed the drink Frankie had handed her. “Christ,” she gasped, one delicate hand wrapping itself around her throat protectively. “What was that?!”

“Tequila,” Jane laughed. “Haven’t you done shots before?”

“No,” Maura gasped, still wide eyed from the burning sensation in her throat.

“Here,” Frost laughed, offering a second shot to the blonde. “Try another one. It’s an acquired taste,” he explained as the group watched Jane’s dart fly through the air, bounce off the board, and clatter to the floor.

Maura knocked back the drink and shuddered. “That’s just awful.”

“The drink or Janie’s dart throwing abilities?” Frankie laughed.

“Both,” Maura grinned sloppily. “I need to give you a physics lesson Jane.”

“I’ll take an IOU on the lecture Doctor,” Jane smirked and knocked back another shot before squinting and lining up her last dart which flew wide and embedded itself in the wall to the right of the target.

Maura smirked and held out a napkin. “Here ya go.”

“What? Did I spill?” Jane looked down at her shirt.

“No, it’s an IOU,” Maura grinned and slid it into the detective’s back pocket, grabbing her girlfriend’s ass before pulling her hand out.

“Okay,” Jane grinned. “Enough darts,” she grabbed Maura’s hand and led her toward the makeshift dance floor in front of the jukebox. “Darts are for wusses. Let me show you about the physics I know plenty about.”

“And what’s that?” Maura laughed as she laid her hands on Jane’s hips and began to move with the music.

Jane grinned lasciviously and pulled Maura in closer so their hips were firmly pressed together. “Friction,” she purred, sliding her leg between the blondes and sliding herself over one of Maura’s.

“Ooooh,” Maura smiled. “I like friction.”

“Me too,” Jane husked. “And you know what friction causes?”

“Heat?” Maura offered.

Jane leaned in and kissed the blonde soundly. “Yup. Lots and lots of heat.”

* * * * *

THE NEXT MORNING…

Jane and Maura awoke to the blaring of Jane’s cell on the bedside table.

“What the fuck!” Jane yelled at the ceiling as the chorus to Weird Science echoed off the walls. “Who the fuck messed with my fucking phone?!”

“Jane,” Maura scowled. “Language please!”

“Christ my head hurts,” Jane grumbled as she flipped open the phone. “What?!”

“Hey sis!” Frankie’s entirely way to chipper voice taunted her. “How ya feeling this morning?”

“Did you fuck with my phone?”

“Jane!” Maura admonished as she sat up and began looking for some clothes to put on.

Jane forgot about her brother on the other end of the phone as she stared at her naked lover. “You are so sexy,” she murmured.

“Well thanks,” Frankie laughed. “Ma wanted me to remind you that you and Maura are expected for brunch at their house in thirty minutes.”

“Fuck!”

“Jane!”

“Ha! See you soon sis!”

Jane flipped her phone closed and tossed it on the foot of the bed. “What’s this napkin doing on the nightstand?” she asked Maura. “IOU one physics lesson, love the college girl?” she read. “Oh yeah,” she smiled. “I forgot.”

“That’s okay,” Maura grinned as she pulled her jeans up over her hips. “I liked your particular field of expertise much better.”

“Mmmm,” Jane smiled as the somewhat fuzzy memories from last night flashed through her mind. “Yeah. I love friction.”

“And heat,” Maura chirped as she pulled her shirt over her head.

“Definitely heat,” Jane agreed as she sifted through her clothes. “Have you seen my gun?”

“I need a cup of coffee and then I’ll help you look for it,” Maura smiled as she made her way towards the kitchen.

Part 2

Jane looked up from the print–out she was busy studying as the beginning strands of She Blinded me With Science (the guys’ new favorite choice) began blaring from her cell phone.

“Dammit, again?” she hissed as she looked around the squad room, curious as to who, exactly, had changed her ringtone for Maura yet again. “Hey, M,” she picked up, unable to keep from smiling.

“Hey yourself Detective,” Maura’s smiling voice answered her. “What do you and the boys have planned for this evening after the game?"

“Nothing, thank god,” Jane groaned as she ran a hand through her hair. “It’s been the week from hell, we deserve a break. Why, what’s up?”

“I was thinking of having a little get–together at my place tonight after the softball game. I know it’s last minute, but do you think the guys would come?”

“I can ask,” Jane smiled. “Am I invited too?” she teased.

“Well, I don’t know…,” Maura drawled. “I guess you’ll have to be since I’m talking to you now.”

“Gee, thanks so much M,” Jane laughed softly. “Need me to bring anything?”

“No,” Maura replied happily. “I’ve been doing some research and have my shopping list done. You just need to get everybody to come.”

“I shall do my best Doctor Isles,” Jane said warmly.

“You always do,” Maura purred.

“Okay, okay,” Jane laughed. “Want me to come by and pick you up for the game as soon as I’m done here and we can go together?”

“Sure.”

“Sounds good,” Jane murmured. “See you soon.”

She hung up and blushed as she realized the entire squad room was watching her. “What?!” she demanded, hastily stacking the papers on her desk.

“Rizzoli’s got a daaaaaate,” Frost announced in a sing–song voice.

“That I do,” Jane smiled. “And you’ve been invited as well. Drinks at Maura’s place tonight after the game?”

“Sure,” Frost grinned. “I could use a drink after the hellish week we’ve had.”

“I hear ya,” Jane groaned. “Pass the word on to the rest of the guys while I go find my brother so he can tell his team.”

“Does she need us to bring anything?” he asked.

“Nope,” Jane shrugged. “Said she’d been ‘researching’ and has her list already planned.”

“Researching what?” Frost asked, a note of worry to his voice.

“Who knows,” Jane grinned. “Knowing Maura – it could be anything from the mating habits of locusts to the completion percentage of every Patriots quarterback of the last thirty years.”

“Yeah, huh…,” Frost murmured. “If she wants to play Trivial Pursuit I call dibs on being on her team.”

“No way Frost,” Jane laughed. “If we play Trivial Pursuit I’m on her team.”

“Why you?”

Jane arched a brow and grinned. “Do you really want to know the answer to that one?”

“You know what?” Frost smiled. “No. No I don’t. But, a video on the other hand…,” he let his voice trail off as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Jane laughed and threw the stress ball on her desk at him. “You wish!”

* * * * *

“I’m glad we won,” Maura grinned as Jane maneuvered her car away from the ball field.

“Yeah,” Jane smiled happily. “It’ll be so much fun to rub it in Frankie’s face all night.”

“That’s not very mature,” Maura laughed.

“Nope,” Jane looked over and grinned. “So, are you going to tell me what you were researching earlier?”

“Nope,” Maura mimicked Jane’s earlier behavior.

“Bet I could convince you,” Jane ran a hand up Maura’s leg – thankful that she’d managed to talk the blonde out of her softball suit for something more … traditional.

“You could try, Detective,” Maura purred. “But touching me like that isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“Oh, I think it will,” Jane laughed. “It’s just a matter of whether or not you’ll be joining me.”

* * * * *

“So,” Jane started as she climbed out of the car at Maura’s house. “Everyone’s just running home to change and then they’ll be coming over. Do you need help setting up?”

“No,” Maura shook her head. “I did it all earlier. Slow day at the morgue.”

“Okay. So, you want to go get changed?” Jane smiled devilishly.

“Mmm,” Maura moaned softly as she felt the brunette’s hands slide around her waist. “Yes.”

“We’re going to have to make this quick,” Jane murmured as she ran the tip of her tongue up Maura’s exposed throat.

“Quick can be managed,” Maura breathed. “I really need to shower – care to join me?”

“Fuck yeah,” Jane growled and tightened her grip on the blonde.

“Jane, language,” Maura gasped as the brunette nipped at her pulse point.

“Sorry,” Jane murmured.

“You can make it up to me in the shower,” Maura groaned as she felt that wonderfully familiar heat build low in her stomach.

* * * * *

The ringing doorbell drew Jane’s attention away from the sight of Maura getting dressed and, with a reluctant sigh, she left the bedroom and padded down the stairs to answer the front door.

“Hey guys,” she smiled as she stepped back and out of the way, allowing their friends to enter.

“Thanks for coming guys, it means a lot to Maura,” Jane smiled.

“We like her Janie,” Frankie patted his sister on the head as he passed. “So, what has she been researching?”

“Dunno,” Jane mumbled as she shut the front door and let the small troupe back toward the kitchen. “She wouldn’t tell me. The rest of the guys coming?”

“Yeah,” Frankie nodded. “Should be here any time now.”

“I wouldn’t tell you what?” Maura enquired as she gracefully entered the kitchen.

“What your big plan is,” Jane smiled.

“Ah,” Maura grinned. “Well, then follow me and you shall see,” she spun on her heel and headed out the French doors to the patio.

Jane and the guys stopped and stared at what Maura’d set up.

“Beer pong?” Frankie grinned and rubbed his hands together expectantly.

“Yes,” Maura smiled.

“Excellent!” Frankie and Frost exchanged high fives. “What are the teams?”

“How about we just stick to the baseball teams?” Jane suggested.

“That’ll play,” Marks announced as he came out on to the patio to give Maura a one–armed hug. “Thanks for inviting all us hooligans over Doctor Isles,” he grinned.

Maura smiled gloriously and Jane felt her heart melt at the sight. “It’s Maura,” she told the cop warmly and patted his hand appreciatively.

“Alright you two,” Jane laughed. “Marks, get your hands off my girl, will ya?”

John Marks grinned and let go of Maura with a mock whispered, “Later sweetie, when Rizzoli isn’t around to ruin our fun.”

Maura laughed. “Unfortunately for you, she is exactly my brand of fun, but thanks for the generous offer. Food and drinks are in the house for anybody who wants it,” she announced to the growing group.

“So, are we gonna bet on the game or what?” Marks asked.

“Sure,” Jane shrugged eyed the table. “Team score format?”

“Sounds good,” Frankie agreed. “Let’s wait until everyone gets here and we’ll draw up teams.”

“What does the winner get?” Frankie asked, returning back to the issue of the wager.

“Not as wasted?” Jane offered.

“No, it needs to be something … special. Donchathink?” Frost smiled.

“Streaking?” Frankie offered.

“Can’t,” Frost sighed. “We’re cops – remember? Public indecency isn’t a good idea.”

“Breakfast for a week,” Maura offered.

“Like what, donuts?” Northcutt asked.

“Whatever the winners want,” Jane smiled, thinking food was definitely an acceptable method of payment.

Northcutt and Frankie glanced at each other and nodded. “Deal,” everybody assembled agreed loudly with a lot of high fives and raucous laughter.

“No bounce–backs, you have to drink whatever’s in the cup the ball lands in,” Maura called out the house rules. “And no shot blocking.”

“This is what you were researching, wasn’t it?” Jane leaned in and murmured in the blonde’s ear.

“Yeah,” Maura ginned. “I did good, right?”

“You did awesome baby,” Jane assured her.

Frost leaned in and looked carefully at the contents of the red Solo cup. “What’s in there?”

“Beer,” Maura rolled her eyes. “What else do you play beer pong with?”

“What kind of beer?” he asked.

“Dude,” Frankie smacked Frost upside the head. “Free beer. Don’t ask. Just drink.”

“Riiiiight,” Frost drawled.

“Alright,” Northcutt clapped. “Me and Marks will take on any two of you,” he pointed at Maura, Jane, Frost and the rest of the detectives.

“I got this,” Frost assured Jane as he tapped Morelli on the back. “Let’s kick their ass Joe.”

* * * * *

The tournament progressed nicely, everybody laughing and having an extremely good time harassing the losers of each match and booing the winners if they weren’t from their own team. Jane smiled as she watched Maura drink it all in, so obviously pleased to have everybody at her house and enjoying themselves.

“You’re amazing,” Jane pressed a soft kiss to the top of Maura’s head.

“Thank you,” Maura beamed at her. “Everybody seems to be having fun.”

“Yep,” Jane nodded.

“Last match!” Frankie announced. “Maura and Jane, you’re up!”

“Who we playing?” Jane asked as she set her bottle down on the patio table and climbed to her feet.

“Me and Johnson,” Frankie announced, nodding at his partner.

“Okeydokey,” Jane drawled, holding a hand out to help Maura to her feet.

Finally realizing that there was one thing she’d never asked her girlfriend, Jane leaned in and murmured in Maura’s ear. “Have you ever played beer pong before?”

Maura looked up and smiled. “No.”

“What are the official standings?” Jane asked more loudly.

“Tied up,” Frost hollered back. “Go get ‘em Rizzoli.”

“So it all comes down to us?” Jane looked over at Maura with a hint of worry in her eyes.

Maura rubbed the brunette’s arm reassuringly. “Don’t worry Jane, it’s just applied Physics.”

“Like … darts?” Jane asked, a small smirk tweaking one corner of her lips.

“Exactly,” Maura smiled.

“Right, so who goes first?” Johnson asked as he picked up a couple balls and handed one off to Frankie.

“Ladies first,” Frankie grinned. “Geez Dane, where are your manners?”

“Well thank you,” Maura ducked her head and smiled. “That’s very nice of you Frankie.”

“What can I say,” he grinned. “Your shot Maura.”

Maura smiled and did a little practice motion with her wrist before letting her ball fly. It hit the middle of the table and flew straight into the middle of the cup formation on the other side.

“Whoa,” Johnson groaned.

“Wait,” Frankie asked as he looked from the perfect shot to Maura.

“Beer Pong,” Johnson gaped as he stared at the table

“This is just …,” Frankie picked up their disjointed thought.

“Applied Physics,” Maura finished. "Spin, angle, velocity. Easy."

“Dude,” Johnson swore. “We’re hosed.”

“Who’s gonna drink that one boys?” Jane smiled.

Frankie and Johnson looked at each other and shrugged. “Rho–sham–bo?”

The guys quickly set to the routine, Johnson throwing paper to Frankie’s rock and forcing the younger Rizzoli to down the glass.

“Wow,” he breathed. “Nice choice Maura. That’s actually a really good beer.”

“I know,” Maura smiled, standing a little straighter with pride. “It was one of the ones from when we went beer tasting last weekend.”

“It’s kind of herbal, with a hint of …,” Frankie started.

“Orange rind,” Maura smiled. “I’m impressed Frankie.”

“Well,” he blushed. “I try.”

“Alright boys, now let the expert show you how it’s done,” Jane drew everyone’s attention back to the game as she rubbed her ping pong ball between her palms. She wound up and let the ball fly. One … two … three bounces later it landed in the middle of a planter to the side of the table.

“Whoa!” Frankie laughed. “Way to show us how it’s done Rizzoli!”

Jane blushed and was promptly rescued from further ridicule by Maura. “Alright guys, your turn.”

“Here we go,” Frankie grinned and hit the lead cup on the fly. “Take that!”

“Nice,” Jane drawled and gallantly reached for the cup, downing the liquid in a single gulp. “Hmm, you can taste the orange in that.”

“Alright ladies, let me show you how a pro does it,” Johnson grinned, getting his shot to the target in one bounce but having it rim out and fall to the floor.

“Oooh, so close,” Maura smiled.

Jane lined up her next shot, which fell short and rolled onto the floor.

“You need to put a little more muscle into it,” Frankie grinned.

Jane looked up at her brother and smirked. “That’s what she said.”

“Who?” Maura asked.

The conversations all stopped as everyone turned to focus on the doctor. “It was a ‘that’s what she said’ joke,” Jane explained softly, thinking the whole ‘joke’ thing was ruined the minute she had to stop and explain it.

“I don’t get it,” Maura scrunched her brow as she replayed the two Rizzoli’s earlier banter.

“Guys?” Jane pleaded for help.

“Okay,” Frost drawled as he thought of how to most succinctly explain the joke.

“While you two explain it I’m gonna go grab some food. You want any?” Frankie asked.

“Just bring out a bunch,” Jane instructed before turning her attention back to her confused girlfriend. “See, M, when somebody says something that could be construed as sexual…”

“You reply with ‘That’s what she said’,” Frost finished.

“Right,” Jane nodded.

“Give me an example,” Maura prodded.

“Okay,” Jane arched a brow at Frost. “Well…”

“If somebody said something like…” Frost took over.

“Hey, guys I got snacks!” Frankie announced.

“That’s all you got?” Frost arched a brow at the younger Rizzoli.

“That’s what she said,” Jane laughed and everyone close enough to overhear their quiet conversation joined in.

“So, like that?” Maura tried to clarify.

“Yeah,” Jane shrugged and tossed a handful of peanuts into her mouth.

“See, it’s not hard,” Frost tried to reassure the blonde.

“That’s what she said!” Frankie howled.

“Alright, can you two morons just focus,” Jane snipped. “Let’s get back to the game. Maura, it’s your turn.”

“Right,” Maura nodded and lined up her shot, her mind split between calculating the speed necessary and the impact point and contact angle of the ping pong ball with the table and working through everything she’d just learned about the joke. She made the shot, but just barely – bouncing the ball off a cup in the back row and having it fall into a cup in front of it.

“You have an excellent touch,” Jane murmured appreciatively.

Maura turned and smiled. “That’s what she said,” she grinned.

Jane grinned and nodded her approval. “Very good Doctor Isles,” she smirked.

* * * * *

The game progressed quickly, with Jane missing basically every other shot and Maura making each of hers, and the guys being entirely sporadic in their results.

“Last one,” Maura grinned as she held her ball up for inspection.

“No shot blocking,” Jane warned her brother.

“No fair,” Frankie whined.

“Suck it,” Jane growled.

“That’s what she said,” Maura grinned.

Everybody started laughing.

“Stop playing around and finish the job,” Jane smiled at her girlfriend.

“That’s what she said!” Frost crowed.

“Ohmygod,” Frankie laughed. “I think I’ve had too much beer,” he hiccupped.

“Go for it Maura,” Jane encouraged gently.

“Okay,” Maura shrugged and nailed the last cup.

“Holy fucking hell,” Frankie slapped his hand to his forehead.

“Language Frankie!” Maura admonished. “Seriously, what is it with you Rizzoli’s and that word?!”

Jane and Frankie shared a glance and both started laughing hysterically.

“You guys owe us breakfast!” Morelli announced as he wrapped Maura up in a giant bear hug. “You are awesome Maura.”

“Well,” she blushed, “it’s just applied physics.”

* * * * *

“Hey,” Maura smiled from her spot on the stairs as she watched Jane show the last of their guests out.

“Hey,” Jane grinned.

“So,” Maura drawled as her lips curled into a seductive smile.

“Yes,” Jane murmured as she placed her hands on either side of the blonde’s hips on the stairs and leaned in to kiss her hungrily.

“Wanna go to bed?”

“Mmm,” Jane pretended to think about it. “I dunno,” she murmured.

“I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” Maura smiled as she ran her tongue up the column of the brunette’s throat.

Jane shook her head and tried not to laugh.

“What?” Maura asked, slightly miffed at her girlfriend’s behavior.

“That’s just too easy,” Jane laughed. “I can’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“Just, never mind,” Jane kissed Maura softly. “Take me to bed Doctor Isles so we can explore my favorite part of physics.”

“Friction?” Maura grinned.

“And heat,” Jane purred as she cupped the blonde through her jeans.

“Mmm,” Maura moaned as she rocked her hips forward into her lover’s touch. “I love physics.”