RIZZOLI & ISLES

“Beginning’s End…” series

cleo2584 and future_imp47

“Beginning’s End…” series

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Disclaimer: We don’t own them.

Rating: PG– to NC–17

Compilation of stories:

…From a Beginning’s End

Interruptions

Once Realized…

Incidentals

Question of Confidence

Nocturne

Absent

Comforts

Release

Every New Beginning…

Title: …From a Beginning’s End

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles see horrors every day, often only to deal with them alone. But there are some nights when emptiness is too much.

Disclaimer: We don’t own them.

A/N: Here, we have based both Jane and Maura on their literary counterparts as much, if not possibly a bit more so than their television representations. The pilot of Rizzoli & Isles is based on Tess Gerritson’s The Apprentice, but we can’t help but see Jane and Maura physically as we’ve seen them on screen (could you? Really? ;) ). So, we’ve done our best to take into consider the two media.

Full text also on AO3 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/99928.

…From a Beginning’s End

cleo2584 and future_imp47

It was cold, but Maura was dreading just how much colder she knew it would get. Still, she supposed that her home might seem warm, welcoming to someone who didn’t pull into the drive every night. And even to her it sometimes seemed that way—a warm, comforting place to which she devoted at least some of her time, in which she actually lived when she could. But it was still strange to hang Rizzoli’s coat beside hers. And as she walked into the kitchen, Maura was thankful that she hadn’t had to pull out boots made for real weather just yet. Jane followed her, but Maura was silent as she scanned for what they might drink. Neither had felt like being in public after the latest scene—this one worse than the ones that had come before—but it had been unspoken that neither felt like being alone.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any beer,” she said quietly.

Her voice rang in her ears. They had been quiet for most of the drive, and it had seeped into Maura. She often realized how much time she spent in silence. She did not often realize how numb she felt after nights like this one.

“Oh…no, don’t worry.” Jane didn’t feel much like drinking anyway, just taking solace in the companionship and the warmth of Maura’s home. “I’ll just have whatever you are.” Her hands were starting to tingle as the chill drained from them, the near constant pain finally fading. She slid quietly onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table, watching Maura move around the polished kitchen.

She couldn’t remember when she’d bought the milk. It was behind several take out containers, and Maura was surprised but pleased to find that it was good. As she poured it into mugs and heated them in the microwave she could feel Jane’s eyes on her. She could see them without needing to look. It took nothing to call to mind Jane’s face, her wild hair. But Maura tried to dismiss that ease in reminding herself that she saw Jane often enough across her autopsy table. And she’d seen even more of her lately, with this case. Still, there were so many details, so many twists and turns with their work in the past weeks that it was difficult to fathom how she could so easily remember the smallest details of Jane’s face.

Maura put her palms on the counter, spreading her fingers only to curl them and pull away as the microwave clanged. She took out a tin of hot chocolate—something gourmet, a gift that she couldn’t remember being given at the moment—and stirred it into the mugs before adding the butterscotch schnapps. “An indulgence,” she said as she put the mug in front of Jane and remained standing, looking down at her. She allowed herself so few when in company.

“Thank you.” Jane gratefully wrapped her long fingers around the mug and raised it to take a tentative sip, sighing under her breath as the warm liquid passed her lips. She was starting to feel human again, and the feeling was almost surprising after the day she’d had—they’d had. She set the cup back down and looked up at Maura, who had not moved away, or taken the empty seat next to her.

There was a tension, no—expectancy—but Jane hadn’t the clarity to sort through it. “Are you alright?” Jane couldn’t ignore her nature, even in the safety of Maura’s home. They had seen horrors together. She knew her own inner turmoil at that, and the way she did not allow it to show. Jane wondered if Maura dealt the same way- if her unflinching stare, her steady hands were that way only by force of will. The wind picked up outside, and a branch rustled lightly against the kitchen window.

“Of course.” The response was automatic. Maura didn’t even think through what she really was. She had to be all right for these things, so she made herself all right. She wondered when she’d lost the ability to turn that off when it was no longer strictly necessary. She wondered if it really wasn’t with Rizzoli. But she looked down, meeting Jane’s eyes, her lips parting in a breath that she realize was meant to steel herself against the moment, whatever the moment was shaping itself to be. The air seemed thicker, the coming winter further away. She put her hand on the back of Jane’s chair, resting it there, her mug untouched in her other.

Jane’s eyes followed the line of Maura’s arm, from her slender wrist now inches from her own shoulder up to the her eyes. She’d always found something about Maura vaguely unsettling, but now, Jane couldn’t turn her eyes away from her gaze. There was a look, a need, she hadn’t seen so clearly before, and it made her pulse jump.

Jane tried to push it away, to dismiss the moment as the culmination of a day filled with so much pain, implicit terror, but another tension was suddenly crackling in the air. Maura wasn’t moving away from it, and neither was she. “Maura…I…” She trailed off, unable to break the silence with anything worth saying. Jane wasn’t sure what there was to be said. The known territory between them suddenly became unfamiliar. They had shared the intimate details of the lives of others, but now Jane found herself close to blushing at just how intimate this moment felt.

Maura didn’t say anything—couldn’t; her breath was caught in her throat. But it was better that way. There were so many things about the moment she could question, analyze…so many things that she could coldly rationalize away. But she was caught and knew that the balance depended upon her, knew that what she needed, she always chose to take when she needed it the most. She bent, and when her lips touched Jane’s, the warmth made her realize just how cold she had been.

What she did not know was how Jane would react, and she realized as much when her mind caught up to her body. It didn’t happen often—any slip in her control—but Maura didn’t pull back, didn’t backtrack despite her sudden fears.

It was enough to surprise even Jane, though she had to wonder if a part of her knew they had been moving slowly, tentatively, toward this moment since they’d met. If the want she suddenly felt had always been there, if she had ever felt it before. Jane couldn’t be sure she had, or had ever wanted to, but she was returning the kiss, feeling every subtlety of Maura’s lips as she did. Jane wasn’t aware of moving, but the next thing the brunette knew she was on her feet, and her hands were reaching for Maura’s hair. The other woman was soft and felt nearly fragile under her touch. Jane’s heart continued to quicken as foreign, but not unwelcome, sensations started to overwhelm her.

Jane paused then, pulling away to catch her breath and looked into Maura’s eyes, stare probing, reading. She wanted to say so many things but hadn’t lost herself completely, “Are you sure?” was the best she could do. She wasn’t, not completely, but she saw her own desire reflected in Maura’s eyes.

Don’t ask questions, Maura thought. But it’s what they did; it was ingrained in both of them. She felt her body quickening under Jane’s touch, under the intensity of her gaze. And if Jane was unsure, she wanted to put that to rest. She needed to put that to rest. Maura slipped out of her shoes, changing the height difference between them. But even looking up at Jane, it was easy to kiss her and kiss her firmly as her answer.

Jane was nearly taken aback at Maura’s force. It wasn’t that she was unaware of the other woman’s passion—that much was clear. It was something else- a desperation for the moment that Maura was showing, and Jane could feel herself pushed back toward the counter. She didn’t resist and returned the kiss, opening her mouth under Maura’s. She could hear herself moan. The sound was almost foreign. It wasn’t of frustration, or the blind need that she had come to associate with intimate moments before- but of relief at the welcome contact and a slow-building desire. Maura’s hair was silky still even with the late hour, and she ran her fingers through it like she finally realized she’d secretly been wanting to for ages. The gathering storm swirled around the house, but the air inside was calm, tempered.

“Jane…” Maura moaned the name as she pressed her body against Jane’s soaking in her warmth…feeling. She had craved the hard, taut edges of men’s bodies before, but she had imagined the softness of women. Jane was both firm and slender, soft and completely real under her touch. Jane’s warmth, the slow, volatile fire that she housed drew Maura as she hastily untucked Jane’s rumpled shirt and pushed her hands underneath it. She wanted that fire, wanted to draw it out somehow…slowly, to let it build to a rupture between them, to acknowledge that perhaps it had been building for some time. She didn’t close her eyes. She wanted to see every moment.

As she felt Maura’s fingers trace up her stomach and over her ribs, Jane caught her breath. The last tinges of cold hadn’t left them, and she felt their progress even more acutely. She caught the Maura’s intense stare again, then dipped her head to press her lips to Maura’s soft neck, feeling a pulse racing there like her own. “Yes…” She muttered against skin as if giving herself permission, as if reassuring herself this was real.

Yes… Maura’s thoughts were anything but clear under the dizzying warmth of Jane’s skin. She wanted more, needed more. And she was insistent, her lips on what skin she could find, her hands pressing, pushing Jane down to the cold floor. She could smell her shampoo. She could smell sweat and leather and fabric softener… And she moaned, hurrying her efforts. Jane was so caught up in the passion of the moment that it wasn’t until she found herself stretched out on the floor that she took a breath. Maura’s lips were moving down her neck to the buttons of her shirt, and her hands seemed to be everywhere. The touch was demanding, needy and almost frantic.

Something in the realization stopped Jane and she caught Maura’s hands by her wrists, pausing their movement. She felt Maura tense, but Jane didn’t push her away. She wanted this, God, she wanted it, but Maura was one of the few people on Earth she cared enough about to pause. And she needed to pause, for herself. Jane didn’t want this to be about force or competition. That was what she had with Dean, and the few others along the way—pursuit and conquest.

This was something else. She didn’t compete with Maura; they weren’t adversaries. They were, she guessed, discovering this together, giving into the strange pull between them when Jane had thought they had so little in common. Just maybe that was why she cared what happened next, and how. “No.” Her voice was quieter than she expected, “No…not like this.” She could see Maura’s face start to fall and kissed her again, softly, trying to assure her she didn’t intend to push her away.

Maura’s face flushed brighter, redder. She could feel the blood tingling in her cheeks, hear it rushing her ears as they too heated from…what? Anger, embarrassment, confusion. She wasn’t sure, and she blinked down at Jane, lying there underneath her, her hair tangled and wild. She fought back the desire to stand, to straighten herself and ignore the mistake, to push away the embarrassment. Maura felt frozen again—somewhere between her own want and what she was actually doing because of it. “Then how?” she found herself asking, breathlessly, suddenly aware of that her own inadequacies with this, with what had been building between them, might soon become all too glaring.

She looked down at Jane—Jane Rizzoli, who usually wore her intent on her face, in her tense muscles. But Maura found herself frantically searching for some answer in Jane’s eyes that she couldn’t quite find. Is this a mistake? Are you a mistake? And if so, was Jane a mistake that she would be regretting not going through with?

Jane saw the confusion, and tried to keep her own in check, to focus on what she knew, what she hoped, they both needed. She released Maura’s wrists, and brushed her fingers over her cheek, kissing her again. “I want to take you to bed.” Her own voice sounded alien for a moment. Had she not already been beneath Maura, the other woman admitting her own desire, there was no way Jane could have said the words. But now that they were past her lips she had no desire to take them back. She refused to second-guess herself even though she was so perilously close with this. The scent of Maura’s perfume, the feel of her hair, the femininity of her body against Jane’s was a strange and disconcerting draw.

The words seemed to hit Maura squarely in the chest, and she caught a jagged breath. Again, before she realized it, she was moving, away this time, offering her hand to Jane; she wouldn’t make Jane say it twice, even with her own insecurities. The linens on her bed were crisp, clean. They wrinkled only from her dreams, from her sleepless nights. But she was leading Jane to the bedroom, her heart beating wildly with every step, her desire growing painful—so painful that she could not deny the pleasure, that she was looking forward, admittedly almost blindly, to what was about to happen.

Jane followed willingly, glancing around the room and trying to remember to breathe. It wasn’t the first time she had been there, not even the first time she’d been in Maura’s bedroom, but it felt new as the air was now charged. She watched Maura cross the room to turn on a bedside light for lack of knowing what else to do, and Jane found herself stepping back to close the door with a slightly shaking hand. There was no reason for it, the house was locked, but still she wanted to shut out the world and each wall she could put up felt better.

She turned back, nearly falling over Maura who had moved behind her, and she paused only slightly before her hands took over, working open the buttons of Maura’s shirt one by one. The act was strangely easy, and her mind put up less and less resistance at the thought. Maura’s skin was perfect, pale and well cared for. And as the shirt fell to the floor, Jane knew that all barriers were about to drop. She trembled in anticipation; she trembled in apprehension as she asked, “Are you still sure?” It was the last time she could ask, could imagine stopping.

“More now,” Maura answered. This time it wasn’t too quick, and she did not need to pause long to consider. What else could her answer be? She could no longer call this blind haste; she would have nothing to blame save herself in the morning. But she was pressing into Jane’s hands even as she said it, and she was returning her hands underneath Jane’s shirt, pulling it up and off until she could feel Jane’s warmth against her own skin. Maura closed her eyes then, taking comfort in the closeness, relishing the fact that she could relish it, that it had not happened so quickly as to already be a memory.

Jane nodded slightly, pushing Maura back toward the bed. She stepped on the heels of her shoes, trying to pull them off without having to break their contact. Succeeding, she paused as Maura’s legs met with the edge of the mattress, looking into her eyes for a moment before pressing her gently down and moving to cover her with her own body. It took her a moment to relax, Maura feeling so delicate in comparison with her other lovers that she was hesitant, more aware. Still, as she felt Maura’s skin under hers it felt right, comforting and almost surprisingly erotic. And Maura, she realized, was pulling her closer, encouraging the contact, the touch. She looked down into her probing eyes, and Jane realized the force of just what Maura wanted. She ran her fingers up Maura’s stomach, shivering herself when she saw goosebumps rise on creamy skin.

She hadn’t expected to know what to do, but found her hands moving to undress Maura with almost practiced efficiency. Maybe it was the times she’d secretly imagined it—times that had taken her by surprise, that she had been reluctant to admit—or maybe it was just a moment of rare clarity, but the garments fell away and revealed the rest of Maura’s body. Finally Jane pressed down against her, kissing her again. She hadn’t expected the desire, the spark she felt now.

This… Maura thought she knew what she needed, what she wanted. But it hadn’t been the cold floor; still the harshness of other nights gripped her memory as she tried to find herself in this, in her bedroom with Jane Rizzoli, breathing in the scents she had only caught slight tastes of before. She drug her fingers through Jane’s thick hair and moaned, luxuriating in it, tangling it as she wrapped her legs around the brunette. “Yes…”

In the past Jane hadn’t seen the allure, thinking that it was the differences that led to the sudden attraction she’d felt before. She balked at other women, even though she would not readily admit that either. Here, though, she felt no hint of the jealousy she had bore Maura for her quiet elegance, her pristine appearance. This was far from familiar, and without depriving herself further she ducked to take one of Maura’s already hard nipples in her mouth, moaning as if she could feel her own actions transmitted to herself.

“Oh…” Maura gasped, eyes flying open, gaze unfocused. It was like the first time…the uncertainly, the little thrill going down through her core. And the touch was electric, different and somehow the same, and Maura realized she was craving this—the newness and the familiarity. How many times has she rolled her own nipples beneath her fingertips, eyes closed as she imagined the feel of moist lips, the dart of a tongue? Maura knew she had never felt that as acutely. It was as if Jane was forcing her focus, even though each movement was slow, careful in the deliberateness of uncertainty.

She gasped as Jane moved to her other nipple, and she fumbled, fingers clumsy as she pressed her hand down Jane’s back and tried to unhook her bra. “More,” she gasped, “I want to feel more…of you…” Even with her own fingers, her mind so often wandered to Jane, to what had to be under that baggy blazer, that harsh and unyielding attitude. And now, Maura wouldn’t settle for seeing anything less.

“Yeah…” Jane wanted it too, and reached to unbutton her own slacks, shifting as Maura tugged them down and kicked them off onto the floor along with her panties. It wasn’t graceful, but neither woman cared, and Jane shuddered when their skin touched fully for the first time. Maura was every bit as soft and delicate as she had imagined through the barriers of her own clothing, but she knew now not to underestimate her, even in this.

A whimper—fear, anticipation—escaped Maura’s lips and she pulled Jane into another kiss. This one was not full of raw force, just simply need…need and want. She let her hands move of their own will, it seemed, as she simply touched Jane, reveling in the feel of the rippling muscles in her back, the soft curve of her hips. Jane was more feminine than she could have imagined the stalwart cop, ever hiding behind her uniform, to be.

Instinctively, she pressed one of her thighs between Jane’s legs, feeling the stiff, unruly curls there, feeling Jane’s lips part, opening, slick and wet against Maura’s skin. Maura shuddered, knowing she was just as wet. They both needed, and so many times they denied themselves; that much Maura knew, they had in common.

“Ohh…” Jane’s eyes closed at the contact, and she gasped, not able to stop herself from pressing back against Maura. She wanted to feel Maura, couldn’t wait much longer, but she hesitated, wondering if the differences would be so acute, if she could make Maura feel just the way she was felling. And she wondered if that would be enough for Maura. Jane wouldn’t let herself really shy away, though, even as she squirmed against Maura’s smooth thigh. She slid her fingers slid down over Maura’s stomach, pausing as she tangled them in Maura’s short, auburn flecked curls. Jane could fee Maura’s heat already, but she glanced back at her, needing to make sure one more time, to make sure Maura wanted it as much as she herself did.

“Please…” Maura gasped, pressing her hands to Jane’s hips, splaying her fingers over the brunette’s damp skin. “Jane, please…” She pressed her lips to Jane’s shoulder, tasting the salt of her skin, marking it and showing that though she begged, she also took what she wanted. She wanted this.

“God…” Jane nearly whimpered and didn’t wait longer. Maura was wet and warm, and she shuddered as she dragged her fingers tentatively over her, then with more confidence when she heard Maura moan. It was like noting she’d experienced before, and she pushed away doubts, finally pressing her fingers slowly inside. Her own moan was sudden, emerging from her throat as she closed her eyes, Maura’s body closing around her fingers. She thought it would be the same, that she would feel in Maura what she felt of herself. But Maura was entirely different in ways Jane couldn’t even begin to find the words to explain.

Maura arched and gasped, fingers grasping for Jane’s skin, pulling her closer. She opened her eyes and closed them again against her shiftless focus, and the sensation only felt stronger. She was full and wanting, and it was different. It was good…it was…she moaned and tried to stop looking for the right words, the most precise words in her own thoughts.

And instead, she moved her hand down Jane’s body, mirroring the brunette’s movements, gasping when she pressed her fingers into her. Even feeling Jane’s body close around her fingers sent a jolt through her. This was what she had craved without realizing she craved it, and as she began to thrust into Jane, matching the brunette’s own thrusts into her, Maura’s thirst for Jane only grew. She kissed her, fumbling to keep her hair out of the way, to keep the contact as close as possibly without letting entropy completely take hold.

The touch was almost unexpected, as focused as Jane had been on how Maura felt, and her breath caught. “Maura…” she moaned, pulling out of the kiss, gasping for breath. She both wanted more and wasn’t sure she could control herself much longer; it was a state so familiar brought on by something so wholly knew that Jane could have almost laughed. But she glimpsed Maura’s flushed and glistening face, saw her chest heaving, and she found her focus crumbling as she felt Maura push another finger into her. She fought to keep touching Maura with the same insistence even as she began to tremble. It had been years since she had been brought so close so quickly, and she was sure it showed in her expression.

Instead of speaking, Maura simply moaned softly. She tried to circle Jane’s clit with her thumb, tried to concentrate on a steady rhythm, but she couldn’t any longer. She simply pressed forward, filling Jane, keeping her clit under her thumb as she stroked it clumsily. Finally, she pulled the brunette close with her other arm and arched forward, gasping sharply as her body began to shudder with her climax. She took it and took pleasure in it, arching still, urging Jane to draw it out.

The realization even more so than the touch was enough to push Jane over the edge, and she shuddered, nearly yelling out, unable and unwilling to stop herself. Yet she somehow found the coordination, the drive to push Maura until she was still. And Jane collapsed, moving without thinking to wrap her arms around Maura. Jane couldn’t speak and pressed her face to Maura’s neck again, counting her pulse, her life.

As their bodies cooled and Maura’s head began to clear, she felt a different sort of heat, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks and down her chest. They had crossed a line, a wall that she thought impenetrable. But she could not deny her desire not to go back, even if it meant no attachment other than this. She breathed in the scent of Jane’s hair as she kissed it lightly and pulled a blanket over their tangled legs and up to their chests. Outside the storm had relented, and she simply let the silence fall again, more comfortably this time.

~ ~ ~

Title: Interruptions

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: PG 13

Summary: Events conspire against Jane when she finally decides she and Maura should talk.

Word Count: 1,702

A/N: A sequel to …From a Beginning’s End ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/99928 )

Full text also on AO3 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/101647.

Interruptions

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Maura arranged the stack of thick folders neatly and ran her fingers down the spines, making sure the corners matched before moving them to the spot where Louise would pick them up to file them the next morning. She heard Jane’s brisk footsteps coming toward the open door as she moved to the stack of actual mail that she had not yet gotten to that day, and she glanced at her watch. The building would be nearly empty, but so often she, like Jane, found herself unconstrained by normal working hours. She looked up when the brunette got to the doorway. “I was surprised when I called and they said you were picking it up yourself,” she said as she put the half organized stack of mail down and moved to an evidence bag. She had finished the autopsy earlier that afternoon, and the case seemed open and shut. A uniformed officer could have picked up what evidence needed to go to the police. Now, with Jane in her doorway, Maura seemed even more acutely aware that they were alone.

“It’s my case.” The statement didn’t explain her presence really, but Jane hoped she wouldn’t have to. There hadn’t yet been any real fallout from the previous week’s encounter, she and Maura were both to stubbornly professional for that. But there had been something else, an awareness that they were both trying to ignore or perhaps just hadn’t found the time to confront.

Jane reached out and took the bag, checking the label out of habit before she signed for it. She almost just turned to leave, to keep ignoring what had been consuming her thoughts but couldn’t- something in her cared too much this time. Jane coughed awkwardly and ran a hand through her hair, trying to think of what to say, “So I…Maura should we…oh, hell, I don’t know what to say.” She was sure Maura could see her starting to blush.

Maura’s hands were moving automatically back to her tasks, the things she did every day before she felt like she could leave. But she stopped, looking up at Jane really for the first time since she’d come in. Maura cocked her head slightly as she thought over the week, the missed opportunities to steal a moment to talk, the hurried and slightly stilted conversations. Had that always been part of their jobs, their lives? Was she now simply noticing or had something really changed? She rounded her desk, smoothing her skirt. “Do you feel like there’s anything you need to say, Jane?” she asked as she went to her door, closing it automatically.

“Well yeah.” She might have said it a little loudly. Jane took a breath and shrugged, “I mean, don’t you?” Jane wasn’t in the habit of being so bold as to just go to bed with her friends- of which she had too few. She watched Maura move back across the office- poised as ever, and her mind flashed to the blond that night, the way she had felt and sounded.

Talking was the rational thing to do, the things that adults did. But Maura had been there before. She knew what happened when she forced herself to be rational and when she allowed herself moments of irrationality that turned into blissful and sometimes painful memories. There was no pain in what she had done with Jane. “Not necessarily,” she murmured, knowing it was not what Jane wanted to hear, wondering just what sort of response that would create. She touched the brunette’s cheek, stepping closer and feeling the air thicken between them.

“Maura,” Jane didn’t know if she had managed to make the word a question or not. The blonde’s proximity was having its effect, and she shifted slightly, trying to figure out what was going on between them. She knew she should go or at the very least move away and try to get Maura to talk to her, but it wasn’t happening. She couldn’t bring herself out of the indecision.

It was the end of the day; they were alone. Those were the most rational thoughts in Maura’s mind at the moment. She had walked out of the office countless times before, locking up herself. She liked finishing the day in silence, alone. But right then, with Jane standing in front of her, so close, so almost vulnerable, Maura didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to take back what they did or break it apart, not yet. So, she simply stepped closer, meeting Jane in a kiss that was not as chaste as Maura sometimes felt.

It felt like the first time all over again, and Jane once again found herself pulled in, returning the kiss without thought. Maura’s lips were warm and insistent, and Jane’s head swam. She dropped the plastic evidence bag, and the spent bullets made a dull clatter on the floor. The sound was like a force that merely sealed the moment, pushing Maura closer to Jane so that their bodies met. She was slow to put her hands on Jane’s waist, to feel the smooth, blunt line of muscle under her soft shirt. Part of her was still aware that they were in her office. But they were alone, together. What they had both wanted had happened, so she felt no rush despite the almost overwhelming sense of memory and need that jolted through her.

If this was much as their last encounter had started, Jane didn’t stop Maura this time. She was still reeling, unsure what was going on but pushed it away and let Maura press her back against the edge of the desk. Her breath caught, but she let instinct take over and dropped her fingers to trail up what of the blonde’s legs she could reach. The promise of skin did not seem so alien this time, and Jane did not try to rationalize that.

“Jane,” Maura breathed between kisses as she untucked the shirt and pressed her fingertips underneath it. The warmth of Jane’s skin felt just as electric as it had been that first night, and she curled her fingertips into it. There was no question in her tone, no question in her actions. She would not hesitate again with Jane Rizzoli.

Maura was far too much to resist, and Jane was done trying. She shrugged out of her blazer, and started to tug Maura’s skirt up around her hips. Her movements weren’t elegant, just building and needy. Jane almost didn’t hear her phone starting to ring. The realization pulled her back just enough to groan, lips still pressed to Maura’s.

She grabbed the phone almost roughly and held it to her ear, “Rizzoli.” She was still just inches from Maura, but Jane’s tone snapped back, the word clipped and serious.

Something about the change in tone made Maura stifle a moan. She still held the brunette close, tightly against her, but she could hear Barry Frost’s muffled voice. Even without discerning the words, she knew under any other circumstances her cell would be ringing moments later, Jane’s voice on the other end. She resisted the urge to press her lips to Jane’s neck, to prolong the moment for just a little while longer, to capture some of Jane’s new frustration for herself.

“Yeah, Frost, I’ll be there…yes soon.” She hung up, knowing Maura could guess well enough what had happened. Jane was suddenly aware of how quickly she had become aroused, and shifted uncomfortably. She looked at Maura with regret, and a little embarrassment. “I…I have to go.”

In reply, Maura merely nodded, holding Jane for one more moment before she slid away from her and smoothed her skirt with an air of ease that she did not entirely feel. Rationally, she could say that they had a few minutes, perhaps not to finish but to find some relief, to find some promise of relief. But she saw how unsure Jane was, even after how perfect their night together a week before had been. Maura wouldn’t mind another here or there, wouldn’t mind planning for it then. They could easily leave the scene together if it were possible for the night. “I’ll just need to get my things,” she said as she pushed a strand of her hair back. For her, it was unspoken that she would be arriving later, but she saw a flicker of doubt and the look of Jane’s mind beginning to race.

Jane almost groaned again in frustration as Maura moved away, but she was already forcing herself to stand, to regain some sense of composure. Her features settled back into her serious work expression, and she reached for the discarded blazer to pull it back on. Maura was already gathering her things, and Jane suddenly felt uneasy. Of course no one would think much of them arriving together, they couldn’t know…but she did.

“Maura…I better meet Frost, I think he’s having to fight crowds already.” God, she felt guilty for running off, but she wasn’t ready to deal with anything more real than the impending crime scene. Jane reached down and grabbed the bag back from the floor and pushed her hair back out of her face.

Maura cocked her head once more, mirroring her earlier movements. She could imagine Jane in a well-cut blazer, in pants that were tailored just perfectly. She could imagine that, but she realized as she reached forward to smooth the half turned up collar, that those things wouldn’t really fit the brunette. The situation, though…Jane’s flushed cheeks and rushed, guilty movements, was something Maura did not give another thought. They had been interrupted, and there might be a next time, she hoped, at least. “Of course. I need to lock up,” she said, stepping back and offering a small smile.

Jane was surprised to feel a slight shiver at the touch, but her force of will covered it. She nodded and turned for the door. It only took her a brief though embarrassing moment to realize it, in fact, swung in. She could almost feel Maura’s eyes on her, and had to finally let go and smile at herself as she stepped into the hall looking back over her shoulder at the cool blond, “See ya soon, Doctor Isles.”

~ ~ ~

Title: Once Realized…

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: Between work and other interests, it takes Maura an unusual route to find out what she really wants.

Word Count: 6,779

A/N: Josie Pulcillo makes an extended appearance in The Keepsake; however, having read that book or any of the Rizzoli and Isles book series isn’t essential to the fic. Also, a sequel to …From a Beginning’s End and Interruptions

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/103644/chapters/142429

Once Realized…

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Maura smiled brightly as she leaned against her desk, gripping the edges lightly with her hands. “…and I’d call it a stroke of luck but you and I both know it was your hard work that you actually found the Nedjem block statues. You know you really didn’t have to let me see the exhibit before it opened but…” The smile turned into a slightly conspiratorial grin. “Well, it was fun now that the museum is getting more of a steady stream of visitors.”

She regarded Josie for a moment, noting how relaxed she looked, how excited she had seemed earlier. It was more like the first time they had met than most of the times they had come into contact afterward, and Maura was again struck by her beauty and the way Josie seemed completely oblivious to it because there were so many other interesting things to think about, things Maura knew so little about by comparison. “It’s good to see that the quartzite held up to the improper storage,” she finished brightly.

The museum had once been an all too gloomy reminder of the loneliness Maura sometimes felt in Boston. And after the case, it was difficult not to see it with some sort of stigma around it. There was talk that it would close until it merely became absorbed by a larger group with the money to run it and the nature to capitalize on the things that had happened there. And yet Josephine had stayed, which Maura found curious until Josie had called her in, asking for her opinion a set of fossilized remains. It was an opinion that Maura could only partially give as a professional, but she had been glad to be asked, glad to connect with Josie again. And slowly, through the museum, she found herself seeking to spend a little more time with the brunette.

They had had conversations in draft exhibits, in the treasure filled basement, and even lingering in Josie’s small office. And it only seemed natural that Maura found herself continuing one in her own office with Josie just then.

“I know, we really did get lucky with that. It’s been amazing what all we’ve been able to recover now.” Josie’s enthusiasm was obvious. She smiled, her almost severe features softening as she did so. Dr. Isles’s comfort with the technical and appreciation the beauty in detail had drawn Josie to her company. She had been the first person the young scientist had thought of when the new display had been finished, and she’d enjoyed sharing it with her.

Their visits had always been too short, though, and driven by purpose even when they chatted. It had been refreshing to just be able to talk to someone new—someone she could both trust and who would understand her. Maura wasn’t someone she met every day, and her complexities and intellect had led to a quiet crush she wouldn’t deny, though she really didn’t expect the blonde to reciprocate. Still, there was no hurt in a little dreaming. Josie leaned forward just slightly, dark eyes glinting knowingly as she filled in words for Maura. “And you’re welcome.”

“And really, the lighting was perfect,” Maura continued, cocking her head as she recalled the details. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have an eye for museum display; I know you’re just getting started but…” She put her hand on Josie’s arm for a brief moment. There were very few people Maura felt she could be warm with, but she knew a kindred spirit. “They’re lucky to have you.”

Josie blushed just slightly, “Thanks, really.” She knew she should let Maura get back to her work but paused before turning to leave, “I don’t know if you’re busy, but would you like to get coffee sometime? This weekend?” It was an innocent enough overture, and Josie genuinely enjoyed Dr. Isle’s company, no matter how simple.

“I’d love to,” Maura replied without hesitation. The conversation promised to be interesting, and she so often found herself alone. But Maura did not think she was imagining interest beyond that, and such a pursuit, she told herself, might not be a waste. “Let me just make sure I’m not on call…” She turned to her computer, turning her back to Josie.

“Hey, Maura I had a thought on the Fenway case and…” Jane was already talking as she strode into the room. She’d been so caught up in her line of thought that the sight of Josephine stopped her short. She thought she could feel something in the air and glanced between the two women.

From the day she’d met her, Josephine made Jane uneasy. And even though the truth about her past had been brought to light, Jane couldn’t completely shake it. Maybe it was her beauty or her quick mind, or maybe just the way she felt Maura could understand her in a way Jane couldn’t, but it all resulted in the brunette crossing her arms defensively before continuing. “Oh, I didn’t realize…anyway…how tall did you say the perp would have had to have been?” Her words were short, and even more direct than usual.

Maura straightened and pulled on her lab coat out of habit. She smiled apologetically to Josie as she directed her attention to Jane. The brunette’s abrupt shift, the tightening of the muscles in her jaw did not escape Maura’s notice. And she had seen it from Jane before with Josie. “How about Saturday afternoon?” she suggested before she nodded to Jane, acknowledging her. Maura rummaged through the files on her desk, not willing to give Jane the detail with someone else there. When she found it, she flipped it open, murmuring, “Ah, yes…” before handing it to Jane.

Josie smiled quietly, sensing it was time to make her exit. “That sounds perfect.” She took a step back toward the door, “I’ll…give you a call.” Josie turned to Rizzoli quickly. “Good to see you again, Detective.” She nodded before making a somewhat hasty exit.

“Yeah, you too,” Jane muttered, reaching for the file as Josie slipped out. She knew if she wanted, Maura would just tell her what their visit had been about, but Jane almost didn’t want to hear the answer. “Thanks, I’ll bring this back later.” Usually she’d sit and read it in Maura’s office, usually she’d be the one asking about coffee, but for some reason Jane just wanted to leave. She tucked the papers under her arm. “We still have the autopsy tomorrow at nine? I should tell Frost to hold off on breakfast?”

“And the coffee,” Maura replied. She cocked her head slightly, trying to gauge what she could of Jane’s hurry. The brunette had seemed poised to follow one of their simple routines, and obviously Josephine’s presence had disrupted that. What’s more, Maura was entirely sure if she could put her finger on why Jane’s mood seemed to persist past Josie’s exit. Obvious answers seemed too obvious, and as things had been somewhat less awkward—admittedly due to a spike in how busy their schedules had been—since their last intimate encounter, Maura was reluctant to guess that some sort of jealousy had something to do with it. Jane bristled at Josie, she had seen that much before. “But you can bring me a cup,” she added, flashing a smile.

“Oh, yeah of course.” Jane smiled quickly. “See you then.” She turned on her heel, stomach sinking at how badly she was behaving, but not knowing what to do about it. She couldn’t tell Maura not to talk to Josie. She didn’t have any reason to think she could. And Josie was just one of those people who never had to try to catch people’s eye. What’s more, when she and Maura were together, Jane needed both a dictionary and a thesaurus to keep up. It was no great surprise really that they’d get closer– it made sense. Without another word, Jane closed the door behind her. There was a stack of reports already on her desk she was ready to bury herself in for the night.

Chapter 2

As the wind practically blew her inside, Maura took care not to let the door slam too loudly. She took a moment for a breath and to arrange her hair, smoothing back the wild half curls and somehow managing to make the windblown strands look intentional. And that was when she saw Josephine waiting for her, a slight smile lighting her often somber face. Maura found herself smiling too. She had been looking forward to this since the last talked, and in doing so, she had tried her best to ignore a slight nagging feeling brought by the memories of brusque comments and tense moments with Jane leading up to it. “You’re early.” Maura knew she was on time more than she knew just how blunt she could be. But she was smiling as she slid into the chair opposite the brunette.

“I figured you wouldn’t keep me waiting long.” Josie smiled across the table. If it was in her nature to be nervous she would have been in the moment, but life had pushed her past that. “I recommend the Kona. It’s not a blend like most places.”

“I’ll try it, then. And let me get you a fresh cup.” When Maura returned, two steaming mugs in her hands, she was smiling more brightly. The day was beautiful, and it was actually pleasant, she realized, to sometimes share that with someone else. “Jane likes to say that coffee is coffee, but when I actually get the chance to sit down and enjoy it,” she said, pausing a moment to simply enjoy the aroma, “I remember that that’s not always the case.”

Josie took the offered mug, “Thanks. And just like anything, there are variations if you take the time to look. There’s just something about this type…maybe I just like to imagine the quiet hillsides where it comes from—could just be a mental association.” She took a tentative sip. “But either way I look forward to getting a chance to stop by here.” Josie put down the cup and tucked a strand of her raven hair behind her ear. “Have you ever been? To Kona I mean.”

“I haven’t, Maura replied.” But she thought she could easily imagine Josie there. There was a look of serenity that crossed the brunette’s young face that suited her but was still not well worn. She sipped the dark coffee and savored it’s taste, imagining where it had come from as she pulled apart its flavors. “Mmm…cherry flavors…not over roasted either.” Maura smiled. “It’s nice. Have you done much traveling? I love it, but with this job…well, it’s difficult when it isn’t work related.”

“Traveling—not as much as I’d like, running—far too much.” She didn’t need to explain too much more, it had all come out so recently. Instead she laughed quietly, seeing the blonde’s face fall slightly in an effort not cringe at having asked an innocent question that she should have remembered would lead to other places. “I hope you get a chance to go places without dead bodies now and then.” Josie could just imagine Dr. Isles as the only living person to inhabit the city morgue day in and day out, and it made her wonder what kept her going. It was true that Josie lived in the past, surrounded by things many, many times older than she was, and that was hard enough for some people to understand.

“On the contrary, I really wish I could go to more places because of dead bodies…scientifically speaking, of course.” Maura’s voice was cheerful. She enjoyed conferences and other things relating to her work. But being party to extra curricular findings would be a treat. And she consciously made the effort to continue to shift away from Josie’s past, knowing that it was still fresh, that she was trying to move on. “There are so many things I haven’t seen that I’d like to…” She laughed lightly and met the brunette’s soft eyes. “Jane and I can never quite agree on just what should be done with the vacation time we do get. I want to go to the catacombs in Rome, and she…” She waved the rest off, conscious suddenly of the way Jane had hurried out when she found Josie in her office that day. “You’ll get to do more of the things you want now…and with a clear head. But there’s so much to see here too.”

At the second mention of Detective Rizzoli, Josie took notice. It made sense, she guessed; they did seem to spend a lot of time on cases together, and it was obvious that they were good friends. Now, however, she wondered if there was more. Josie could tell Maura wanted to continue, so Josie let her, smiling though something in her was sinking, “And were does Jane want to go then?”

“To be honest,” Maura replied, not thinking much of the question, “I think she’s happiest right here. This is her home and it’s…well…” She smiled as she thought about the city, about its history and its people. “It’s her.” But she frowned lightly when she realized that she was hardly speaking with clarity. It was difficult to pin down precise words when describing what Jane wanted, when describing Jane. She looked up to Josie with her dark, intelligent eyes and her nearly exotic beauty. The attraction was obvious, and Maura blushed slightly. “Should I get more coffee?”

Josie smiled, though it wasn’t as bright as it had been earlier though she hid it well. The mood was shifting, and even if Maura couldn’t tell yet, Josie could. Maybe she was wiser than her years, but sometimes she wished she wasn’t. “Sure, why don’t you let me?” She stood and took Maura’s mug.

She would have liked to have not–so–causally leaned closer, maybe brushed against the woman’s silky hair, but Josie simply stepped away to the counter. Maura was still a fascinating woman, and she hoped, she would become a good friend. Returning, she took her seat again. “There are so many things I’d ask about your work, but I know you can’t tell me. So maybe I should ask about you instead.”

“Oh…” Maura shifted. She was not overly uncomfortable, but it was not a subject that she discussed very much with anyone. Work was easy, safe. And the things she did and read, the facts that she accumulated and took comfort in were safe too. But there was something more intimate about this. Josie was sharp—Maura liked that, but she found herself a little off balance. She smiled, wrapping her hands around the cup. “Well, you already know that I’m an ME with a penchant for the lure of archeology and anthropology…”

Josie sipped her coffee and sat back, smiling. “I do, and I know you could probably tell me the chemical make–up of the tabletop.” The dark–haired girl grinned quietly as she continued, “But so could I.” It was easier to pry now, now that she was speaking to a friend. “But, you’ve all but told me Jane’s life history and not even where you’re from.”

“Have I?” Maura laughed nervously as she ran her fingers through her hair. She felt a slight flush in her cheeks, and while the heat of the coffee might have been easy to blame, Maura was not one to make up excuses. “It really is interesting what one can learn about a person one works with…that isn’t even related to the job… I mean…I’m sure you’ve been through that, though.” And that didn’t come out exactly as Maura had intended. She had no idea how hard it must have been for Josie to hide things, to lie, to make lies and stories her truths. “I’m…sorry,” she said, shaking her head and half smiling as she glanced down into her full cup. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

Josie just smiled knowingly, watching the usually composed woman trip over her words. “Maura…” She put down her mug and covered one of Maura’s hands with her own. It was her first real contact with the woman, but Josie’s eyes were quiet, comforting. “I think you should talk to her.”

The touch was what stopped Maura from speaking, but her thoughts were still running, moving to actually answer Josie’s question. People…people made things difficult, and it was only easy with Jane because she was so familiar. It was easy with Josie when it was the things they both knew and loved. Now, she blinked. “I’m…excuse me?”

“Jane.” Josie’s voice was level but warm. She hid disappointment well. “I think you need to talk to her about whatever is going on. And I don’t mean about your cases.” She removed her hand and then smiled, trying to keep the mood light enough.

“No, you’re right,” Maura replied, laughing lightly. She didn’t elaborate on what was going on. Jane had tried to talk to her, and talking was the last thing Maura wanted to do. It was still the last thing she wanted to do. Simply reacting, letting her body do what it wanted, letting the chemical processes run their course until the next time it was necessary was the easiest thing. Negotiating the rest, she was afraid, would take more energy and skill than she had. Negotiating this moment with Josie—a beautiful woman with whom she would not mind sharing such delights—was the same. Maura had never been good with her own feelings beyond letting the strong ones come out only when necessary, and now she had to question why her mind kept wandering back to Jane Rizzoli when Josie was sitting so patiently in front of her. “We should do this again.” And it was clear that it would be easier the next time, that it would be strictly between friends.

“We should…whenever you want to.” Josie finished her coffee and stood, letting Maura know she meant it. “And I’ll let you know when we open the new hall on the third floor, I think you’ll be interested in the artifacts from the Qin Dynasty.”

“I would…I really would.” Maura’s smile was genuine as she rose with Josie. She didn’t feel the outing had been entirely a success in so many ways, and she knew she would analyze it later as she tried to think of something other than Jane, of what Jane felt like in her arms… But she was glad to know that they could part this way, with the promise of the companionship of like minds in the future. And after they said their goodbyes, Maura sat back down, sighing softly. She and Josie might have been a good match, and now she wasn’t quite sure what her next step should be, other than finishing her planned tasks for the day and preparing for work on Monday with full knowledge that she could be called in any time between then.

Chapter 3

The bar was not completely within Maura’s comfort level. The wines they offered were mediocre but unassuming, and she had never quite settled in with the warm, worn decor and the crowd of law enforcement officials that frequented it. Her place there was merely by invitation, and that night, she had not been invited. As she opened the door, the scene she glimpsed could have been one straight from television. Jane was laughing unreservedly along with Frost and a group of cops sitting around too small a table, empty bottles between them. Maura paused for a moment, realizing that she was stopping to admire the way Jane’s body was thrown open, relaxed; it could not have been easy to get to that point. She thought of Josie at the coffee table, smiling leaning forward, how easy it should have been. And as she approached, the laughter turned to stillness, a brief silent moment followed by soft buzz as happens when an outsider makes her presence known. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, trying to find casual cheerfulness and managing it better than she realized.

“Dr. Isles, hey!” Barry Frost was the first to greet her, and he flashed a warm smile. Before he could get much further than that, Jane had pulled herself together and glanced up at Maura, still dangling her beer bottle from her long fingers.

“What are you doing here?” The comment might have come off more brusque than she meant it, but Jane hadn’t been expecting to see Maura outside of work, and her presence was making the brunette’s pulse speed unexpectedly. Vulnerability and a table of half–drunk cops didn’t go together.

Maura offered Frost a smile that was almost apologetic as his expression became slightly bewildered at Jane’s response. He was still trying to understand his new partner, as well as negotiate his new position, and she could not help but admire the way he simply pushed on. But she quickly turned her attention to Jane. This was her element, her place, and Maura had come as a way of conceding to that. But she could not continue there, in that company. “Detective, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Jane glanced around the table as she put her beer down, as if trying to imply that she was being dragged away from the fun. “Yeah, sure.” Her chair scraped on the wooden floor as she stood. She could see a few raised eyebrows around the table but she just shrugged. “The boy scout owes me for the drinks anyway.” Jane grinned at Frost, tossing a crumpled napkin at him as she went. She could still hear a few murmurs as she walked after Maura, but they wouldn’t go far.

As she led her to a far corner of the bar, Maura focused on the sound of Jane’s footsteps. They were heavy, self–assured. It was easy to simply say they were discussing some detail of a case; their work spilled into their lives every day. And Maura kept her face impassive with some effort. “I thought we should talk,” she said as she slid into a booth and folded her hands in her lap. Hadn’t that been what Jane wanted, what she so easily brushed away? There was no need to talk when taking your pleasure was simple.

As she slid into the booth across from Maura, Jane’s face fell slightly. She should have seen this coming—it generally did, but this time it hurt more. Maura was a friend and one Jane cared about more than most. She was preparing herself to hear however Maura was about to try and say ‘you’re really great and you’re a good friend, but I’m choosing the prettier, smarter girl.’ It wouldn’t be the first time. Jane took a breath, making herself look at Maura, and wished she’d brought her drink with her. “Yeah, okay, I guess we should.”

“It…doesn’t have to be here,” Maura said quickly as she saw the way Jane’s face changed. Even her office was more private than this, but they were alone in their corner. Maura knew how to look for answers, how to find things she expected from reading signs. She did it every day. But signs from the dead were much easier to read than signs from the living. And it was difficult to be precise when merely the sight of Jane sitting across from her made her breath quicken was anticipation and worry.

“Nah, I’m fine.” Jane leaned back, trying to appear casual, but the sound of the leather creaking underneath her seemed too loud and her shoes seemed to dig into the scraped floor.

“Josie bothers you…” It was not the way Maura had intended to start, but she had seen the same kind of look on Jane’s face that afternoon in her office. She took another breath, all at once becoming composed again. “She shouldn’t.”

It wasn’t what Jane was expecting, and she glanced questioningly at Maura. “I…no…of course she doesn’t…just…” She shook her head, trying to clear it, “I mean…what?” Jane wanted to just drop her forehead on the table, but she was all too aware of how many eyes there were in the room, even if they had ceased looking at her or Maura.

“No…it’s okay…” Maura reached out and touched Jane’s arm lightly as if to reassure her. She was feeling more reassured now as she went on, “It’s a natural response when one feels threatened on multiple levels to take issue with the offending party. Animals do it in various ways…and men…we’re no different.”

Jane was fairly certain that Maura had just called her an animal, and coming from anyone else it would have been an insult. She just smiled quietly and tentatively shook her head, starting to work through Maura’s technical explanation to see what she might be trying to say. “So, Dr. Isles, you’re tellin’ me my natural instincts are unfounded?”

A bright smile came to Maura’s face as she leaned back slightly in relief. “Well…yes,” she replied matter of factly. Maura had not felt the need to explain what Jane had witnessed between Josie and her, but she was beginning to realize that though Jane wouldn’t say it, she needed to hear it. “Josephine and I are friends…nothing more. And I realize I must have been mistaken when I thought you might be content with simple and uncomplicated sex.” It was neither of which, Maura knew, no matter how much she wanted to believe that. Josie had seen her growing attachment to Jane immediately, when she could not.

Jane blushed at Maura’s direct–as–always approach. She let out a long breath and just looked at the woman across from her for a moment. She was still letting the fact that she wasn’t be preemptively dumped sink in and just laughed quietly, “I don’t think sex is ever simple, Maura. And I don’t want it to be.” Especially not with Maura, even if it never happened again.

Maura blinked and in the silence that followed, the air become considerably thicker between the two of them. A chorus of laughter from across the room brought her thoughts away, shattering any serenity she was close to approaching. Josie had urged her to talk to Jane, and now she was at a loss for words. “Jane, can we go?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jane was trying to read Maura’s expression, hoping she hadn’t said the wrong thing. She stood and moved toward the door, feeling the other woman behind her, following closely. Jane knew her exit wouldn’t go unnoticed, but she doubted if anyone would really think twice.

“I’d like to go somewhere quiet,” Maura said softly. She was walking close enough to catch the scent of Jane’s shampoo. Jane’s apartment or her house…it didn’t matter, but Maura was directing her steps to her car. She realized how much she compartmentalized her life. How easy it was to analyze, to make every step through consideration and logic with her work and with all of the things she wanted to hold at a distance or push away. And when there was something that she wanted to pull close, she simply did, leaving stolen moments and the almost ashamed memories of heat, of letting go. There was nothing she was ashamed of with those moments with Jane. But like the past, she had be so sure that she could only have them in reserve, between stretches filled with things she strove to make meaningful, that she had not allowed herself to see the possibility of more.

“Me too.” Jane slid into the car, letting Maura choose where she took them. She was still trying to see where the night was going, and from the blonde’s silence, Jane could tell Maura was, in her own way, doing the same.

Maura was quiet. She had always taken comfort in that, but she was as aware of Jane’s shifting as she was the passing streetlights. Her anticipation was building too. Perhaps she had not said as much as she should have. There was more to say, but not just then, not with Boston or the night passing by outside of the windows. She parked on the street near Jane’s apartment, taking her time with the careful diligence of one not raised in such a city. Jane sided with her as she locked the car and looked up, as if only just realizing where she had taken them. Their hands brushed together once as they walked into the building, and Maura felt herself suppress a flinch at what she perceived to heat that could not be explained.

Not simple…nothing about Maura Isles was ever simple. Jane was starting to sweat slightly by the time they reached her floor of the walk–up building. Maura never looked quite right in her simple apartment, and once inside Jane looked around. “I…can I get you anything? Something to drink?” Not that Jane had any idea if she could even make good on the offer, she hadn’t been expecting anything like this tonight.

“I’m fine, really.” Maura glanced around, noting the familiar touches, the things that made the place Jane’s. She wondered how her own home looked by comparison with its careful but guarded decorating. She turned to Jane just as she realized she’d been clutching her bag too tightly. “Jane…what we’ve been doing…” She shook her head, buying time for thought as she slid the bag onto the counter. “I don’t take our friendship lightly.”

“Me either Maura, but I think you know that.” Jane opened the refrigerator, relieved to see one of the few things she did have was beer. She pulled one out and opened it. It wasn’t that she really needed the effects; it was more or less a way to try and appear casual. Jane recrossed the room and sat on the couch, motioning for Maura to join her. She started to peel the label from the bottle out of habit. Maura was so close, but Jane was scared to do the wrong thing.

“It’s…that…” Maura put her hand on Jane’s, feeling the warmth of her skin, “it’s a nervous tick. Popular psychology likes to call it a sign of sexual frustration, but really it’s an…embodied compulsion…” She blushed lightly as she took the bottle from Jane’s hand, smiling before she took a sip and handed it back. “I know that, Jane. But I think…you want more than that.”

Finally, Jane couldn’t help herself, and rolled her eyes. “Maura, you’ve got to stop diagnosing your…just, anyway…” She blushed, and finally couldn’t stand the tension any longer. Jane slipped her hand around the back of Maura’s neck, breath catching as her fingers ran through soft hair. She met no resistance as she pulled the blonde into a kiss. It was tentative at first but lingered, and Jane closed her eyes, just feeling Maura’s lips on hers again.

Maura closed her eyes as well, leaning into the touch as she finally felt something completely natural that night. She gently took the bottle from Jane’s fingers and put it aside, moving slowly, letting the moment linger, letting the kiss continue to linger until she was forced to pull away. Her eyes were clear as she looked at Jane, a thin smile on her face. “Is there anything else we need to say?” she asked, breath catching.

Jane was breathing harder, and had to stop herself from reaching for Maura’s clothes. “I…don’t think so. Unless you have any further diagnosis for my present condition?” Jane managed a slight smirk.

“Rapid breathing,” Maura murmured softly as she kissed Jane’s lips. She took each of Jane’s hands, kissing the pulse points at her wrists in turn. “Increased pulse…dilated pupils…” She raked her fingers through Jane’s hair, letting them catch on the tangles and pull slightly until they were free. Maura was pushing Jane back, kissing her forcefully, unable to wait any longer as she realized she had been waiting, had been depriving herself far too much.

Maura was insistent, and Jane had little choice but to let her do as she needed. The blonde’s touch was sure and firm, but not frantic like she had felt it before. Jane ran her hands over the other woman’s back. Maura’s lips moved to her neck, and Jane bit back a moan.

Jane’s fingers were long, nimble. She pressed into the touch, encouraging it, asking silently for Jane to continue, for Jane not to hold back. She kissed down, nipping at the last of Jane’s skin before moving her lips over the fabric of her shirt, teasing her with the promise of more without withholding for long. Maura managed to get Jane’s shirt off, to get her palms on her warm skin and to enjoy the detail with more leisure than she had their first time together. She wanted Jane to moan, not to hold it back, not to hold anything back. And as she unhooked her bra, sliding it off, she was smirking.

Jane shivered as the air hit her skin. Maura moving over her was driving her pulse still higher, and something else was starting to push her. Like the first time, Jane again caught Maura’s wrists, but this time she smiled more surely. “I’m taking you to bed now.” This time it wasn’t a request, and Jane was almost surprised to see Maura’s color rise immediately.

Maura’s chest heaved lightly in the silence. She could feel her pulse beating against Jane’s fingers, and she let the moment hang, building as she looked into the brunette’s dark eyes. The color that continued to rise in her cheeks was a flush of readiness, of anticipation, and she quietly moved back, acknowledging Jane’s statement with her physical acquiescence. This time, when Jane released her hold, Maura stood and stepped back to wait, acknowledging that it was Jane who would lead them there, that it was Jane she wanted to follow. Her blood was rushing in her ears, her lips curling into a slight smile, though she didn’t know it. She wanted to pull Jane into a kiss, to tell her that they didn’t have to wait as long as the extra steps too, but it was precisely that waiting that Maura wanted. And each of Jane’s steps as she followed her into the small bedroom made another thrill pulse through her body as she anticipated the driving force of what would come next.

If Jane hadn’t felt as confident as she sounded, her insecurities faded further with Maura’s obvious need, enjoyment. Jane tried not to rush, and her fingers were shaking quietly as she fumbled for the zip of Maura’s dress. When Jane found it, Maura sighed softly at the feeling of the fabric opening, at the way Jane’s fingertips brushed against her spine every so often. And the sound of the fabric falling to the floor was pleasant. She could not remember a recent time when she had not done this in her own home, and something about being in Jane’s space––her initial peace offering––now made it all the more exciting. She waited for a moment before turning in Jane’s arms, seeking a kiss––actively showing Jane what she wanted as she pressed her body forward forcefully.

Finally Jane did moan, just subtly under her breath. Her palms ran down from Maura’s shoulders, feeling the smooth skin and bits of lace. For a moment instinct got the better of her, and her arms tightened around Maura’s waist. The next thing Jane knew she was lifting the blonde up, and half pushing–half dropping her onto the bed.

“Jane,” Maura breathed, tasting her name, wanting to taste her skin. She pulled her closer, kissing her salty skin, flicking her tongue across her collarbones, daring to nip, to push a little harder within the bounds of Jane’s control. Maura was wet underneath her lace and resolved to letting go as she tried to pull the brunette closer.

“Yes?” Jane’s hands were moving over Maura again, and soon the last bits of clothing joined her dress on the floor. Jane slid over the other woman, kissing her way up, back to the blonde’s lips and kissing her again deeply before letting her answer further.

There was more confidence in Jane’s voice just with the one word. It was almost playful, but Maura knew the question was generally there. For as sure as she was, there were moments where Jane was still unsure. She arched her body upward, running the flats of her palms up Jane’s back before resting her fingers, hands poised until she lifted them above her head onto the pillow. “Please.”

No one had ever said that to her in such a tone before, and Jane’s breath caught. She couldn’t wait any longer to feel their skin together. She reached and unbuckled her belt, pushing it and her slacks off onto the floor before crawling after Maura onto the bed. Her lips moved immediately to kiss the blonde’s skin, pausing at each of her nipples. On instinct, Jane found herself slipping her leg between Maura’s, pressing herself on the other woman’s thigh. She was already so charged that the contact alone made her shudder.

This was what Maura wanted and so much more, there was so much more. She shuddered under Jane’s touch as she let her hands fall back to Jane’s skin, her hair. Breath coming in jagged puffs, Maura was almost frantic, but she reminded herself that she didn’t need to be, that she would not have to savor this and look elsewhere as she had before. The brunette was wet against her, and there was now more authority in her touch. The curiosity it held was still fresh thought, and as Jane kissed her again, Maura lightly nipped at her lips.

Jane held herself just over Maura, only leaning back enough that she could watch her reaction as she slid a hand lower over the blonde’s body. This time she didn’t ask, didn’t say anything, before gently pressing between her legs. And Maura moaned and pressed her fingertips into Jane’s hips, grasping at toned flesh as she squirmed. If she could have asked for this free of any attachment, she might have. But Maura realized that she had not tried to sabotage her attachment to Jane. That though it was often confusing and difficult to navigate, she had wanted it without realizing it. Since their first night together, since before that when the touch was her own.

“Yes,” she whispered, clutching Jane’s skin. “Yes…”

Jane closed her eyes and listened to Maura as she worked closer to release herself. She moved more quickly, rocking harder against the blonde, moaning under her breath.

It was intoxicating when Maura caught the scent of Jane’s arousal, the smell of her salty skin. She pressed her thigh up, meeting Jane’s force, willing her with everything she had to reach her climax as she began to touch the brunette’s breasts with careless abandon. She was so close, holding herself back for want of seeing Jane come completely undone, so she too could come undone with her. Jane swore under her breath and moaned loudly. A few hurried moments later and she was shaking, kissing Maura hard and pressing every inch of their skin together she could.

“Jane…Jane,” Maura called out, shuddering, eyes wide as she frantically found the brunette’s lips. When she finally pulled away, they were still close, panting, their pulses still racing but calming now. Maura ran her fingertips down Jane’s cooling back and felt goosebumps texture the brunette’s skin. She smiled and sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes.

Jane wrapped Maura in her arms again as the world around her swam back into focus. She let out a long breath, and was surprised to find a few tears wet her cheeks, mixing with the dampness of Maura’s light sweat on the blonde’s skin. She bit her lip, and turned her face toward the other woman’s. Maura looked so content, so beautiful, and Jane was suddenly worried at what she’d just done– that it couldn’t really last. Things like this just didn’t happen to her.

“Maura?” Jane’s voice was low, “Are you…is it all right?”

When she heard the shift in Jane’s voice, the quiet, subtle change in her body. She was slow to open her eyes, forming a picture of what she might see based upon the little clues that she could feel, hear. Even knowing what she would see did not completely prepare Maura for facing it. But as she opened her eyes, her face softened. She touched Jane’s cheek with gentle, probing fingers. As with so many times before with Jane, Maura found it difficult to find the precise words, difficult to logically match the new need in Jane’s eyes with what was appropriate.

“Yes,” she said simply, smiling. It was all right, even with everything else they would surely have to negotiate afterward and the things they would have to learn from each other. “Yes.”

~ ~ ~

Title: Incidentals

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: There’s something Maura has been waiting to try, and it makes Jane almost forget where they are.

A/N: A sequel to …From a Beginning’s End, Interruptions, and Once Realized…

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/104659

Incidentals

cleo2584 and future_imp47

The slow building warmth had not yet begun to fade, and Maura did not yet remember the rush of time and place. The light in her office indicated that it was getting later anyway. Her dress fell around her knees again as Jane pulled her hand away, and Maura kissed the brunette lightly. Her eyes were bright as she smiled––a small, thoughtful smile as her mind began to speed up again. She gently pushed Jane back into her desk chair, quietly suggesting a conversation that had made Jane laugh and her smile at the sound earlier. When she dropped to her knees, she was unselfconscious. Her jersey dress wouldn’t wrinkle noticeably, and Jane’s slacks, Maura thoughts as she reached to undo her belt, were always just a little wrinkled anyway.

“Maura…” Jane’s voice was a hurried whisper, overlaid with unmistakable desire. “Maura…here…I’m not sure..” She moved her hands to cover the blonde’s prying fingers but did little to halt their movement. Her pulse was quick in her chest, and the want that had been building since she walked into Maura’s office was now painful. The room felt like it was getting hotter by the second. Maura’s fingers slid around Jane’s waistband, and she found herself pressing up just enough. The fabric slid away, and she shivered as the air hit her skin. Jane knew it wasn’t right––especially there in Maura’s office. She opened her mouth to protest, but just caught a glint of the blonde’s expression as a lock of perfectly curled hair fell over the other woman’s eye. “Jesus…” Jane muttered under her breath as Maura quietly dipped her head.

“Shh,” Maura whispered, blowing air gently through her lips as she pressed them against the soft skin of Jane’s inner thigh––one and then the other. She kissed, she let her tongue dart out to taste the goosebumps as they rose. She was breathing the scent of Jane’s arousal as she pressed her palms upward, feeling the tension that had been building Jane’s muscles. Maura was smiling softly when she first tasted her, running her tongue up and between Jane’s lips as she closed her eyes. She shuddered when Jane shuddered, and she gripped her thighs more firmly when she reached Jane’s clit. Maura found everything she expected, and that thrilled her.

And Jane was biting her lip to the point of pain. The touch was so subtle, yet insistent, and she could feel the beginning of her climax almost immediately. She tried to hold it back, to enjoy for as long as she could, but she was squirming, stomach clenching as she rocked forward. The only thought that she could muster besides how amazing Maura’s tongue felt was that she didn’t know what to do with her hands.

She knew it was inane, but for some reason it kept her shifting. Her palms were sweating, and she slid them along the arms of the chair. Jane glanced down at Maura’s head between her legs and it made her moan. She wanted to just tangle her fingers in those silky locks, but the gesture seemed too possessive– at least she knew it had to her. Jane whimpered as Maura’s lips closed on her clit, and she started to shake. She wrapped her slender fingers finally around the blonde’s shoulders, and drew her up when the world finally came back into focus.

The touch brought Maura back to herself, away from the force of Jane’s climax, from the reverberation of her moan, how fading into memory. But she could still taste the intricacies of Jane’s delicately tart scent. When Maura looked up, she was smiling at her success, at the promise of more delights, longer delights. She rose, meeting Jane in another kiss, this one more sedate, slower as she let the brunette taste herself on her tongue.

Jane moaned, her arms sliding around Maura’s small waist, holding her there. “Maura…that was…” Jane really had no words, and so just smiled sheepishly. She was fairly sure her enjoyment had been obvious.

Maura took a moment to lean against her, feeling the strength that she exuded, sometimes consciously but now unconsciously, completely naturally. She smiled. “Hopefully an incentive to both of us trying to finish today before it gets too, too late,” she murmured as she pulled away slightly. Jane’s reaction, if anything, had only left Maura hungry for more. She smoothed the front of her dress, watching as Jane fumbled with her zipper and then her belt. Maura was in the process of simply pulling her hair back when there was a swift knock at the door, followed by Frost opening it. She rarely needed privacy in her office, and Jane made it a regular habit of simply walking in, even before…

“Hey, Doc,” he said quickly, nodding to her even as his attention turned to Rizzoli. “Jane, I actually managed get in touch with a friend who pulled some strings and got that record you wanted to see unsealed.” Frost stopped in lieu of stumbling over his words. The air seemed to be a little thick. He took in the room––Jane’s discarded jacket slung onto the desk, a stray paper on the floor, and his partner’s face. “Uh…you said you were coming to get the autopsy report, and I…yeah…” He held up a folder for her.

Jane straightened automatically, throwing her shoulders back. Still, she could feel a furious blush cross her face, and she stepped around the desk– putting distance between herself and Maura as she went to take the file from Frost. “Oh..” Her voice caught, and she coughed to clear it, “Yeah, thanks Frost.” She flipped open the folder, though she was far too distracted to see any of the words. He knew something– she could just tell. Immediately every worst case scenario was playing out in her mind, and she knew it was all a mistake. It served her right for letting herself be impulsive. She just wanted him to leave, or to run out the door herself. “Yeah, I was…did…I did.” Jane finally glanced at Maura, wondering how she could manage to look so composed.

“Uh…great…” Frost put his hands on his hips, pushing his jacket back as he shifted, looking between the two women. Maura merely smiled at the display. They had been fully dressed and in completely uncompromising situations when he walked in. She saw no need to worry, especially based upon the already sometimes awkward nature of Jane and Barry’s partnership. She merely handed him a copy of the report, which he took and nodded graciously. “I’ll…just check this out at my desk. We can go over it later,” he said, already backing up to duck out as he finished.

She watched him go, and then Jane turned back and reached to grab her blazer from the desk. Her ears still felt hot, and now her stomach was dropping for an entirely different reason than it had a few short moments earlier. “I should go.” Her voice came off more brusque than she wanted, and even that made her more uncomfortable. She didn’t like running out on Maura, but now she couldn’t stay.

“He didn’t see anything,” Maura said, her voice calm. She watched Jane pull on the jacket like it was a piece of armor. The quiet glow of her arousal had turned into worry, and she was putting up her walls again. Maura was reminded of just how complicated people were, just how complicated Jane Rizzoli was. She put her hand on Jane’s arm, knowing they could have waited; they could have spared themselves this sort of worry. But she had no regrets.

Jane paused at the contact only for a moment, “God I sure as hell hope he didn’t.” Maura’s voice was so steady, and Jane wanted to just take her words at face value, but her overly skeptical mind wouldn’t allow it. She hesitated, then quickly squeezed Maura’s hand and stepped away toward the door, running her fingers through her unruly hair. “I’ll…I’ll call you later?”

“Of course,” Maura replied, flashing a small smile. That call, she knew, would be later than she expected. Jane would agonize at her desk, throwing herself into something, while Maura simply went home to make dinner. She didn’t know how to change that. There were more intricate feelings that she could not rationally sort for Jane. But she would wait, knowing that Jane would let herself move past it eventually. She shook her head as she watched the brunette disappear around a corner.

A few minutes later, and Jane was sliding into her seat across from Frost. She dropped her keys on the desk, and they clattered amongst pens and spare change. “I hate parking out back, the hallway smells like shit when it’s this hot out.” It was a compulsory complaint, but Jane was hoping it would distract from her lingering embarrassment.

“Yeah,” Frost said, merely glancing up to see that she definitely was not meeting his eyes. “And floods when it rains…which it’s supposed to do later, by the way.” He glanced back to his computer screen and then to his empty coffee mug sitting by the unopened autopsy report. And he managed to keep his sigh to himself as he took the mug and stood, doubting Jane noticed when he grabbed hers as well. When he came back, he pulled a chair up to her desk and carefully slid her the mug. “Look, it’s okay.”

Jane finally looked up from the file she was pretending to read. The tone of Frost’s voice had changed, and he obviously wasn’t talking about the weather anymore. Jane swallowed and pulled the coffee mug closer, “Frost, just…it’s nothing, really. Just location…a change and all…an extra few steps in the routine.” She tried then to put on an air of her usual bravado, “I mean, I guess it’s just different is all. But things change without tellin’ you, ya know?” Jane watched his expression, seeing if he caught her concession.

“Yeah, that’s…” Frost rubbed the back of his head. He wondered if Korsak had any idea just what to make of Jane when she just came out with things like that instead of what she was really thinking. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask. He wasn’t talking about parking, and he wasn’t going to let her either. “Look, Jane, really…it’s okay. I get it, and I’m cool. She’s…” He shook his head and laughed quietly, “something.”

Jane could feel her color rising, even as a wave of relief washed over her. Sometimes people still could surprise her, though it was generally only in moments where they were kinder than expected. She let the understanding pass between them before laughing quietly and shaking her head, “What are you on about now? I was still talkin’ about parking.” Jane picked up a file from her desk casually, watching out of the corner of her eye as Barry shrugged, and moved back to his usual chair, smiling slightly. As he went, she glanced up one more time and added under her breath, “But she is, and thanks.”

That was all he was going to get, and he knew it would probably never come up again unless something forced it. But it was more than he’d ever gotten before from Jane, and the freshness of their partnership was beginning to wear off. Sensing that staying in her space any longer would only lead to destroying any headway they had made with things like trust and loyalty, he stood. “I’ll…see what I can narrow down from our list with this autopsy report. I’m sure you wanna get out of here before the rain just as bad as I do.”

~ ~ ~

Title: Question of Confidence

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: Jane has no idea the effect her choice in attire will have on Maura.

A/N: A sequel to …From a Beginning’s End, Interruptions, Once Realized…, and Incidentals

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/106247.

Question of Confidence

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Jane turned slowly in front of the mirror as she buttoned her pants. Jeans tonight—not slacks. Even that felt strange. She had been through every pair in her scantly filled closet trying to find one that could accommodate her plans for the night.

She covered her own eyes for a moment. This was completely ill conceived—it just had to be. She shifted from foot to foot, trying to get comfortable. The button tugged shut, and she finally couldn’t help but laugh at her reflection. The entirely noticeable bulge in the front of the fabric looked ridiculous, and she couldn’t help but groan inwardly. God, she hoped she was reading this right; otherwise she was preparing for the embarrassment of her life.

Finally, Jane paused long enough to truly take in her reflection, and a quiet smile spread over her face. She looked around in a nearly insane attempt to make sure that she was, yes, of course, still alone in her own bedroom. The brunette then reached for the nightstand drawer.

Moments later, she was holding her gun, looking at her reflection. She had to admit, there was a certain power there, a confidence, but almost immediately reality got the best of her and she blushed at her own thoughts.

“Really, Rizzoli?” She muttered to herself, rolling her eyes as she put the weapon back in its place, her momentary bravado melting as she decided if she could really go through with her plan.

That plan—hadn’t there been alcohol involved? Yes, yes, of course there had been. It was the night Maura had insisted she try her favorite port wine. It had been too thick, too lingering for Jane’s taste, but the effect had been memorable. Soon there were teasing comments, laughter, and now that she thought of it, it had been she herself who had made the order before dragging the other woman to the bedroom laughing. And now there she was—posing for herself in overly tight jeans and willing her mind to follow through and go to Maura’s house in Brookline as planned…wearing this.

Despite the growing fall chill, Jane was sweating. She always did this when it came to her personal life. Chasing murderers, facing them down, sitting in courtrooms and testifying against the scum of the Earth—that was all in a day’s work for Jane Rizzoli—but taking a risk with Maura—that was making her sweat. At least it was late. Dinner had been changed to a nightcap after Maura had been called in late. The quiet tree–lined street was deserted, and Jane hadn’t had to go far.

Jane rubbed her hands on her jeans, then rang the doorbell. It was a familiar sound, as were the measured footsteps that soon approached—in heels that would cost Jane a week’s salary—that followed. The door swung open, revealing Maura’s slender but toned form, and Jane swallowed when the blonde’s eyes quietly looked her over, lingering at her waist.

“Hey.” Jane’s voice was less sure than she had hoped it would sound.

“Come in.” Maura stepped back, her shoulder pressed against the door. She kept her eyes on Jane, watching her moving, noting the hint of a different kind of swagger despite the obvious fact that she was not completely comfortable yet. It was difficult for Maura to contain her smile. She knew the moment was too delicate to laugh, even though her laughter would have been in delight. She never suspected Jane would have taken it upon herself to dress that way without more prodding, and the surprise was certainly working on her, as she felt her arousal when she closed the door behind Jane. “Drink?” Maura turned, eyes trained on the brunette, her gaze intense.

“God, yes.” Jane’s response was immediate. She resisted the urge to shift under Maura’s eyes but couldn’t help letting her own stare linger over the blonde, still dressed from work—her clothes accenting her form in just the right way as usual. Jane couldn’t help herself and caught Maura’s wrist as she brushed past. Worry was leading to anticipation, and she pulled the blonde into a kiss, quietly pressing against her.

The touch was gentle but more reassured than Jane realized, and as soon as she felt Jane against her, her body contrasted with the firmness of toy, Maura moaned into the kiss. When Jane tried to pull away, she wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly, desperately. She gasped, gulping breath in only to seek Jane’s lips, her taste once more. “Jane,” she murmured, kissing her neck, underneath her ear as she pushed her jacket off.

Jane hadn’t been expecting Maura to move so quickly, and she let out a quick breath. Her worry about the assumption now moved to uncertainty of what to do next. Maura wasn’t moving away, and Jane felt her coat fall, and her back pressed against the hallway wall as the blonde grew more insistent. “Maura…we should maybe…” but Jane’s suggestion was cut off abruptly as Maura’s lips claimed hers again, and she felt the other woman’s hands moved down her body.

“Mmm,” she intoned against Jane’s skin, hooking her fingers through her belt loops and pulling her hips closer. Maura’s breath caught in her throat, and she was quickly trying to both pull Jane down and undo her jeans. She might have locked the door; she couldn’t remember, but it didn’t matter. She wanted Jane—wanted her desperately, so much so that when her back hit the floor hard, she barely felt anything but the way Jane’s hair tangled under her fingers.

As she folded onto the ground Jane swore under her breath in surprise, tangled in Maura. Once she felt Maura under her, pulling her closer, tugging at her clothes, though her oaths turned to a low moan. She leaned in and kissed Maura soundly, feeling the blonde’s fingers again at her jeans. Jane reached under Maura’s skirt, sliding it up, and moaned again when she saw there was nothing on under it. Her eyebrows raised, but she didn’t have much time to smirk before Maura was kissing her again.

There was nothing simple about what Maura wanted, but she let herself give over to instinct without question in this case. She moved with Jane, pushing as the brunette kicked her jeans off. The floor was hard underneath her, warming with merely the silk of her dress between her skin and it. But she felt Jane, only Jane, and she pulled her closer, tighter against her, harder. Maura squirmed under her hands, trying to encourage her to simply have what she wanted. Her breath was coming too quickly for words.

Rid of her clothes, Jane slid over Maura closer, working her fingers under the blonde’s dress higher and higher. Finally, their hips pressed together, and Jane paused, glancing at Maura. “Yes?” It wasn’t that Jane thought Maura didn’t want this; it was all still so new.

The doubt that flashed in Jane’s eyes struck Maura, and her head cleared only to sharpen her intent. She let her hands fall from Jane’s hair and to her hip, snaking between them to take hold of the dildo as she shifted. She was wet and Jane’s nearness was almost delightfully painful. “Jane…” She stroked the toy, moaning softly at the weight under her fingers, and as she did so, she pressed she base against Jane’s clit. “The…” she began, drawing in a shaking breath, “the ratio of your weight to mine…” Maura shifted again, wanting. “Under a certain amount of… I won’t break, Jane…” She looked her in the eyes and moaned. “I won’t break.”

Jane was caught between a quiet laugh and a moan, and she pressed forward into the touch. Maura’s hand slipped away, and Jane shuddered as she moved into the other woman for the first time. It was almost too much, and she reached to put her hands on the floor on either side of Maura, steadying herself in the moment. Soon she heard the blonde’s breath catch, and felt Maura’s hands go to her hips, encouraging her. “Maura…god…”

Maura’s touch was almost frantic as she pulled Jane closer to her, deeper into her. She gripped her hips, palms sweating, sliding against Jan’s skin, and she kissed her hard, pulling her down even closer even though there was no space left between them. The sounds she made were incoherent, even for her. And when she couldn’t hold Jane in kisses, she began to nip at her neck, her collarbones, each time harder in an unconscious effort to mark her. She unhooked Jane’s bra, letting it fall slack, pushing it up with her body and through the fabric of her dress, feeling Jane’s nipples hard.

As Maura grew incoherent, Jane finally let herself go and swore under her breath. Her skin stung from each mark Maura made on her, but it only served to push Jane on, to keep her nerve up. She hadn’t expected this, for Maura to be so quickly driven to this. In the frenzy, their eyes locked for a brief moment, and before Jane could understand the urge, she was reaching for Maura’s leg, gripping her smooth thigh, and pulling it around her so they pushed together fully. Maura’s eyes went wide, and for a moment her breath was so caught in her throat that seemed as if time stopped. Jane filled her completely, and she could not look away; she could not feel anything but the brunette’s heat. And finally, she arched, writhing under Jane as she moaned, one hand gripping the brunette’s hip and the other sliding between them to find her own clit.

Jane felt Maura start to touch herself, but only as an afterthought. Most of her mind was focused on how good—surprisingly so—it felt to take Maura like this. She felt the blonde shift under her, heard her obvious pleasure, and she closed her eyes. She almost didn’t notice when she grew close to climax herself. It was nearly without trying, just touching Maura and knowing what she felt was enough. Soon, all of her tension and worry over the night drained from her, and she was kissing Maura again, pressing her tongue into her mouth as she moaned against her.

The kiss was so deep that Maura did not have time to break away, to gulp in a breath clouded with Jane’s scent, before she began to shake with her climax. She tightened both of her legs around the brunette’s slender hips, forcing her closer, forcing Jane to drive into her until she went slack, her breathing still jagged, her legs resting on Jane’s back.

They lay like that for several long moments, both breathing hard. Jane’s lips had moved to press against Maura’s neck– just in the hollow by her shoulder where the skin was so warm. Finally, Jane shifted, pulling out of Maura, but still couldn’t find the strength or the willingness to move. “Shit…Maura…I…” She was for once speechless at what they had just done.

“Shh,” Maura whispered before kissing Jane again, slower but not without intent. She was quick to move them, pushing Jane down onto the bare floor. A rush of cool air swept across her damp back as she knelt over the brunette. Jane’s hair was wild, her eyes questioning, but Maura did not give her time to think. She dipped down, taking the tip of the dildo between her lips and sliding it into her mouth, moaning as she tasted herself. Jane’s mind, she knew, would be going in all directions if she was given a chance to simply think, so she placed a calming hand on the brunette’s hip before sliding her fingers underneath the harness to touch her.

“Ohh…” Jane’s hips jolted involuntarily, and she spread her legs, welcoming the touch. She was so ready, so sensitive, that her stomach was already clenching, pulling her shoulders off the floor with the force. Her fingernails dug into her palms, trying to stop her impulse to grab at Maura. Jane had been in Maura’s place before, and had resented the implication of being held there. However, this was different somehow, Maura was fully in control, and Jane finally couldn’t stand it any longer, and slid her fingers into Maura’s hair. “Maura…” the rest of her words faded as Jane tipped over the edge, heels sliding up over the cool floor as she came hard.

There was absolutely nothing more Maura could have asked. She felt Jane’s hesitation; she knew there were things they would have to talk about. She knew Jane would go over this moment later, would pick it apart. But she reveled in the sound of her moans, in the way she finally let herself go. And as if to prolong it, to preserve it, she found herself kissing Jane again, forgetting that they had scarcely made it past her entryway. “Mmhm…” she murmured, finally.

When Maura finally pulled away to settle on Jane’s shoulder, the brunette quietly moved her hand up to her face, long fingers covering her eyes. As was often the case, her body and her mind were feeling two quite different things, and Jane was loathe to try and reconcile them. In truth, she had enjoyed that more than a little– all of it. But just the realization made her mind race. Jane moved her hand to Maura’s head and slowly worked her fingers again through her long hair. The blonde looked so content, and Jane tried to take comfort in that. Still, she was painfully aware of the realities of the moment, and she sighed. “Maura?”

“Yes?” It was amazing how comfortable she felt there, wrapped in Jane’s arms, their hair tangled, their skin cooling. But she heard doubt creeping into the brunette’s voice, felt tension in her arms and shoulders.

Jane didn’t know how to say what she was thinking without sounding like an idiot– but it wouldn’t be the first time, and Maura Isles was one of the only people in the world she could trust when she did. “Maura, I don’t know what’s going on.” Her fingers closed in blonde hair for a moment, “I mean, I don’t see how…why…I…” Jane took a breath to try and pull herself together, feeling like a clumsy teenager. Finally she just blurted out, “I really liked that.” She had meant it as a question, but it hadn’t worked.

To laugh was a dangerous thing in that moment, but it was Maura’s instinct—not to laugh at Jane, but to simply express her joy at how easy such moments between them had become. But she simply smiled and reached up to stroke Jane’s wild hair. “Good…so did I…” She tried not to start smirking. It would be easy to simply kiss Jane again, to start touching her. But Maura fought her instincts, knowing that it would only stave off Jane’s insecurities to make them come back stronger. “There’s nothing wrong with that instinct, Jane…even if it’s been…different in other situations.”

Maura’s understated logic let Jane relax somewhat, and she nodded, still processing. The adrenaline fading, she finally noticed how hard the floor was under her, and chuckled quietly, their proximity to the front door becoming obvious from where she lay sprawled out under Maura. “Very different…” She shifted, moving her shoulder blades on the hardwood.

Finally, Maura moved, reluctantly pulling away from Jane and standing. She offered her hand as she smiled. “Why don’t I get you that drink?” Her dress was wrinkled, but it was only a delicious reminder of what had just happened, even though the tension was beginning to fade. Before Jane could follow her, though, she picked up the brunette’s jeans, tossing them to her. The aesthetic, after all, was one she had only gotten to admire for just a moment.

~ ~ ~

Title: Nocturne

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Even thought Maura is worried about Jane’s attitudes toward the world she comes from, she wants a real date, but the evening does not end as planned.

Warning: Possible dub!con if you want to see it.

A/N: A sequel to …From a Beginning’s End, Interruptions, Once Realized…, Incidentals, and Question of Confidence

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/107658.

Nocturne

cleo2584 and future_imp47

When she pulled her arms through the sleeves, the dress slid over Maura’s head easily and settled around her hips as she ran her palms down the front, smoothing the fabric into place. It wasn’t like changing at home, where she could see her full reflection in the mirror, but slipping into the dress was as familiar as the complex flavors of her favorite tea. She knew exactly how and where it hugged her form; she knew how the warm red color stood out against her skin and matched the delicate piping of her shoes. It was her favorite; it was what she went to when she was anticipating her night, when she was excited, and if she had to admit it, when she was nervous. And as she slipped into her shoes, she hoped that Jane would find it equally as attractive, as well as a little bit distracting.

Maura had plans. She ran her fingers through her hair before switching her earrings and folding the clothes she had worn to work. When she stepped out of her office, the building was mostly empty. She knew where Jane would be, and she knew the brunette would not be expecting her looking quite like this.

She wanted to go out–to really go out together. It didn’t matter to Maura who was taking whom. The thrill was the same either way, and she knew Jane would just have time to run back to her place and change, just enough time not to be able to talk herself into an excuse before the dinner reservation. It was not long before her heels were clicking in the hallway outside of the squad room, and as she walked, she checked her phone, making sure she remembered correctly when she could be at Will Call. Berlioz… not her first choice, but she was happy enough to go. And because of her charitable donations to the symphony, the tickets were waiting and their seats were very good. Instead of worrying what Jane would think, how Jane would respond, instead of focusing on how Jane had responded to such glimpses of this world before, she busied herself with those small details.

She could see Jane through the glass as she opened the door, and Maura did not need to be able to see her face to know the expression. There, hunched over a file, her eyebrows would be knit together in concentration, perhaps frustration as well. But she smiled to herself knowing that when Jane realized she was there, that expression would change, if only for a moment.

“I brought you a copy of the autopsy report,” Maura said quietly, “that you can look over in the morning.”

Jane looked up at the sound of her voice, and she was poised to begin speaking. But she was always tense, always ready for some sort of movement, and Maura found it extremely gratifying when the brunette took a moment to lean back and simply appreciate her.

“Thanks.” Jane looked as if she was grasping for the right words as she took the folder. “Is it ‘change your clothes during work’ day, or was there something in my coffee this morning that made that outfit look…entirely different?”

Maura glanced around the room, aware that Jane might not appreciate anyone overhearing her answer. Such little precautions had become so routine, but they stood out to her now in the small knot they caused in her stomach, at the cluster of thoughts centering around them that she wanted to ignore. “A date, Jane. I want to go on…a real date.” They went out often enough–a drink after work or lunch or a late dinner at the bar–but it was never with so much purpose. And Maura wanted to enjoy a night that was planned specifically as something for them. “You’ve just got time to change before dinner, and we can’t be late or else I won’t be able to pick up our symphony tickets.” She smiled brightly as she waited for Jane to process that. But she did not want to wait for too long.

“What?” Jane said it a little too loudly, dropping the file back onto her desk, “I, now?” She whispered hurriedly, glancing around, eyes landing back on Maura. Now? Tonight? Changed? Thoughts were going through her head, some of them excuses. Jane wanted nothing more than to spend the evening with Maura, and though she didn’t know what was happening half the time, she could think of little else lately. Still, she didn’t know if she could manage such a formal date. What would she wear? What if she embarrassed herself terribly?

“Now…” Maura’s smile softened with an unspoken please. She stepped back, heels clicking softly as she felt eyes turning their way. Maura had grown used to the feeling of gazes falling on her, and she had also grown adept at ignoring them, at pretending they were not there. The dead gazed at nothing. But today, she was conscious of Jane’s frenzied look--conscious and determined not to let it worry her. “Come on…I’ll help you…”

Jane tried not to notice she was sweating lightly as Maura pulled into her reserved parking space–parking space?–that apparently came with her tickets. The blonde nodded at the attendant who greeted her by name, tossing a polite “Enjoy your evening” as they made their way upstairs. Maura seemed to relax as they threaded through the crowd. The blonde’s hand found hers, and Jane blushed. She wasn’t likely to see anyone she knew here–but Maura certainly was, and something about that made Jane’s heart skip for a moment. The lights flickered, and Jane found Maura leading them to their seats as the stage lights came up, and the house lights dimmed. Even with little experience, Jane could tell the seats were good–very good. She couldn’t help but look around their section, wondering just who else made it a habit to come here on a Thursday and wondering even more at the empty seats that some wealthy people had chosen to leave empty in favor of whatever was on their television that night. The first strains of music began, and Jane finally started to relax, even as she felt Maura’s fingers play gently over her arm.

As the night wore on, Maura found herself more captivated by Jane than the sounds that filled her ears. It had not been long before she twined her fingers with Jane’s, and their hands had been growing steadily warm throughout. There was a moment during the overture to Béatrice et Bénédict where Maura caught her leaning forward, and she felt a small thrill of delight run through her as she squeezed Jane’s hand. But as the lights came up and the familiar rustle of intermission started, a small sense of doubt began to creep over her. The evening had been quick, the food simple but rich and their arrival at Symphony Hall perfectly timed. In not giving Jane much time to think, Maura had not given herself time to give over to worries that were well grounded…just as grounded as Jane’s misgivings and fears. She held Jane’s elbow lightly as they made their way through the auditorium, smiling and nodding to the people she knew, giving a brief hello where it was necessary, but somehow, once they had their champagne, she managed to find a small, almost private space. Her cheeks were flushed. “They’ve saved Symphonie Fantastique for the end…it’s…one of the most important works of the Romantic period,” she said with an almost breathless but matter of fact tone, wondering just what Jane was thinking as she fingered the stem of her glass. “And the final movement–it’s called the Dream of a Witches’ Sabbath…” A self-conscious smile spread across her face. “It incorporates the Dies Irae in the most breathtaking…” Maura sighed, lost in facts and memories and the rush of anticipation. She looked down for a moment, hoping that when she met Jane’s eyes again, she wouldn’t find disdain there.

A brief silence fell between them as a smile started to grow across Jane’s face. Finally, she chuckled quietly, not sure whether it was the surreal feeling of the night or the half-empty glass in her hand that started it. “Maura, I have no idea what you just said.” Her tone was light, and she took another sip, thoroughly enjoying the flavor, “but unless there’s any actual witches in it–I’m looking forward to it.” And she was, an almost surprising amount.

“Oh! Witches…I…” Maura let herself laugh with delight that Jane wasn’t about to storm away, and if she really admitted it, she was also relieved to find that Jane wasn’t planning on pushing through the crowd for another glass or two. There was something about the moment that threatened to overwhelm, almost to the point where Maura knew she could become uncomfortable when surrounded by so many bodies. She took Jane’s hand and quickly leaned in for a soft kiss. They were beginning to come together in ways that were deeper than she had imagined. “We should go back in.”

At that moment, Jane was glad for the dimming of the lights to cover her flushed cheeks. She hadn’t been ready for such a public display, but was quietly amazed at how good it felt that Maura seemed to make that move so easily. Her mind was still reeling as the music began again.

When they were finally in the night air again, Maura was gesturing, the beat of the fugue still in her mind. She was smiling as she talked, recalling facts, explaining the story of each movement, how human and captivating it was. And Jane was laughing, not specifically at her, Maura thought. When they reached the car, she took a deep breath, and her eyes fell on Jane–Jane there smiling in a dress that she still did not look entirely comfortable wearing. But that was part of the absolutely unmistakable charm of it. Maura could have kissed her right there, but she let her usual reserve fall back over her. Jane had enjoyed herself, and things that Maura had not allowed herself to dread happening had not indeed happened. But there was still the rest of the evening, and it was not fair to keep pulling Jane away from her own thoughts. “We could go back to my place for a drink,” she said quietly, following it with an almost shy smile.

“I’d like that.” Jane didn’t take time to think about it for once, she just knew she wasn’t ready for the night to end there.

So many things about the night were familiar, but from the very moment she put on the dress, the prospect of sharing them with Jane had transformed them all. And now, Maura began to settle into the drive, realizing just how many times lately she had made it with Jane, how different it seemed not to be alone. She smiled softly to herself, glancing at Jane as the streetlights they passed played over her face. She pulled into her drive silently, and they walked into the house the same way. But this time, Maura found herself seeking Jane’s hand again. She had been raised to be reserved, but even the small gesture on an empty street was full of meaning. “I think there’s a few leftover beers in the fridge from the last time…” She took Jane’s coat, hanging it beside her own.

“Oh, okay.” Jane smiled, but just pulled Maura a little closer as she slipped out of her own shoes. “But do they go with what I’m wearing?” She couldn’t help glancing over Maura’s form so close to her. The tension had been building again, and Jane wasn’t sure she needed the pretext of a drink, possibly for the first time.

“Jane…” Maura said her name as if she were tasting it. She could see the look in the brunette’s eyes, and the way Jane so quickly, so easily settled into the promise of the evening’s close. There was no shifting, no blushing. Each of these facts began to quickly add up in Maura’s mind, and she became breathless. She, who planned, who looked for realism had not planned beyond Jane’s self-consciousness. But they were in her entryway again, as they had been before, and she felt almost frozen in the brunette’s arms.

Despite the many surprises of the night, Jane found the rest of life start to fade, and she leaned in to kiss Maura. Her lips then moved down the other woman’s skin, over her cheek to her neck. Long fingers brushed back blonde hair, and Jane breathed more contentedly. The unknown and its attendant fear was finally giving in, and Jane didn’t need to seek permission. That feeling alone was amazing. She pulled away enough to take Maura’s hands, and put them around her waist. She smiled, “Thank you for a wonderful night Maura, really.”

“I wasn’t sure what you would think,” Maura admitted, pressing her palms to the small of Jane’s back. Jane’s dark eyes were alive and sincere, and Maura could see desire growing in them as it began to pulse through Jane’s body. She pressed her into another kiss--soft but not wholly assured. She wasn’t sure what Jane would think of the night, and now she knew Jane had enjoyed it. But she was still not sure what Jane would think of her need for nights like that.

Jane smiled again, and started slowly walking backward, pulling Maura with her as they moved toward the stairs. “Well, I’ll admit it wasn’t my usual night, but I liked being there with you.”

“Good…” A bright but small smile came to Maura’s face as she let Jane guide her. They slowly made their way up the stairs, never breaking the contact, trying not to look away from each other’s eyes. “I’m glad…I’m so glad.” And the relief in her voice was genuine. After various tensions between them, they could still share this, and it had been easy. It was all growing so easy.

By the time they reached the bedroom, Jane was starting to tug at Maura’s dress, fingers reaching the zipper at the back. She kissed the blonde’s neck again, pulling her closer. “God, Maura…”

Moments like these haunted Maura’s dreams, crept into her straying thoughts, and she took great pleasure in remembering them, in looking forward to them. She was close to giving over to Jane as she stretched, lengthening her neck. The dress fell away. How many times had it fallen to the floor this way or been wrinkled under someone’s touch? She did not take the time to count or to remember. This memory would replace those. And that was what stopped her. She stroked Jane’s hair before touching her warm cheek as she pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. “This is what I want…us. I want…you, Jane.” Even when she had realized it, she had not realized the true extent. But she wanted all of Jane--not just stolen moments, not just the hours that could be spared.

Jane paused, standing still as her eyes locked with Maura’s. She could still feel her heard pounding in her chest, and her fingers froze in Maura’s hair. She tried to work through the statement, it’s value. “Us?”

“Us…” Maura took a deep breath to calm and sort through her thoughts. She could feel the ripple of momentary panic through Jane’s stilled hands. “Dinners and dates and taking your hand without wondering if it’s the wrong time or place. I…” What did she want? She had wanted only the passion, the hurried nights, the slow mornings. She wanted to limit those things to Jane only, and she had not minded the preludes to them, but Maura realized she did not want those things to simply be preludes. “Jane, do you see…?”

Jane swallowed and leaned back. Maura’s tone was suddenly so sincere, and she wasn’t ready for it. “Maura…I…” Jane didn’t know how to finish the sentence. I want all those things too…but… there were so many images that Jane hadn’t come to terms with. Part of her was still convinced that this…she…would be a passing interest for Maura, and she was just lucky enough to be the object of that interest for a while. Still another part was denying it altogether. And now, here she was stumbling over how not to ruin things as usual.

“Jane…” Maura tried not to let her voice fall. She could hear the unspoken ‘but’ in Jane’s tone, but worse than that, Maura could see, could feel the way the brunette’s demeanor changed. It shouldn’t have surprised her so much. Her own thoughts were strong and immediate, and for once, she had not taken the time to think them through, to let them simmer while she contemplated how Jane might respond. The night had been almost magical enough to make her think there would be no difference in their thinking. She found that she was still, her lips unmoving.

Because she had never been careful to consider things before, it seemed twice as hard, twice as painstaking with Maura, and even Jane knew the silence had gone too long, that the tension was becoming ominous. But she had no words; she had nothing but a growing sense of helplessness and a lump in her throat. And faced with that, she reached for Maura, fingers meeting silky, pristine hair as she pulled the blonde forward and into a fierce kiss.

They were tumbling back onto the bed, but it was Jane’s mind that was reeling while her body seemed to neatly settle underneath Maura’s. She heard one thump and then another but only vaguely registered it as Maura’s shoes falling to the floor. Her hands were working independent of her thoughts, fueled by Maura’s kisses, by the way all conversation seemed to be lost to her moans. She felt the soft skin of Maura’s hip and the cool silk of her panties give way, slide off under her fingers even as she thought, knew, that this was not the “us’ Maura was talking about.

But Maura wasn’t stopping. She squirmed, letting the panties slip down her legs and off as she pushed Jane’s dress up. It was easier to give over to her instinct, and she told herself that it was perhaps more human than focusing on whether or not she had made a mistake in what she said, in what she wanted. There were more immediate wants, and as she pushed Jane’s panties aside, moaning as she found the brunette wet and pulsing when she pushed her fingers into her, Maura sought to drive the pauses, the doubts away from Jane.

She wasn’t sure if this was what Jane needed as reassurance, as currency for an agreement that Maura now so desperately wanted to be more concrete, but she pushed away, and she pressed her lips to Jane’s neck, tasting her salty skin and scraping her teeth over her pulse as if asking why she balked, why her first instinct was to run away. She demanded it as she pressed another finger inside of her, and she demanded her own pleasure too, shifting to straddle Jane’s thigh and moaning that the contact was not nearly enough, not yet.

For a moment, Maura looked into Jane’s eyes, and Jane moaned. She had seen laughter in that gaze, and she had seen desire and even confusion. But she had never seen Maura so intent, so demanding. Her body arched under the ferocity of the touch, giving answers that she did not have, that she didn’t know if she could find, and she grasped at Maura’s smooth back as if it would tell her why a simple word could loom so ominously that it left her hesitating between her desires and her insecurities.

“Jane,” Maura was moaning, and Jane pressed her thigh hard against her. She held Maura’s hips there, clinging to her as much as pushing her down, and she gasped when she felt the heel of the blonde’s hand pressing into her clit in time with the thrusts against her thigh, into her body. “Jane…” Even her name was a demand timed perfectly with the delicious pain of each of Maura’s thrusts, and Jane gave over to that, to the feeling, letting it fill the spaces that she could not fill with answers or rational though. She twisted under Maura, overwhelmed and clawing as her climax forced her body rigid with utter delight. Her own moans were distant to the sound of blood rushing in her ears, but soon that all became silence. She began too aware of the heat of Maura next to her, of her own panting breaths. She was shifting, moving, her vision clouded, and her thoughts too sluggish.

“I…” Her dress fell awkwardly around her legs again as she stood too quickly. “There’s…court…in the morning. I should…” Jane couldn’t look at Maura yet; she smoothed the dress, conscious of the feel of the fabric against her scars. “You know how it can be early on the stand…”

Maura was quiet, her own pulsing need still filling her, still fighting for control of her every thought. It was too difficult to will herself not to move, to lie naked and cooling as she watched Jane finally raise her eyes. She nodded, her lips thin. Silence still hung between them as if it had not been broken, and Maura knew it hadn’t. Slowly, she sat, watching Jane’s receding form, listening to her pad down the stairs. Her eyes settled on her crumpled dress lying on the floor--so much promise. Jane would put her shoes on as she called a cab. As it drove away, she would twist her hands in her lap, and Maura would listen until she couldn’t hear the engine anymore.

~ ~ ~

Title: Absent

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Marissa, Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles (implied)

Rating: NC–17

Summary: Jane lets her impulses get the better of her so she doesn’t have to face up to the reality of her situation with Maura.

A/N: A sequel to

…From a Beginning’s End

Interruptions

Once Realized…

Incidentals

Question of Confidence

Nocturne

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/108796.

Absent

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Jane closed the fridge just a little too loudly, and the remaining beer bottles rattled in the door. Shit. She looked around for the bottle opener, and when it refused to appear she braced the lid against the edge of the counter to hastily pry it off. She swore again as the cold beer sloshed out of the bottle and over her hand onto the floor. Jane turned away—she’d clean it up later. She crossed back to the couch, sinking onto it as she sighed. Dammit, why did she always do these things? She’d been asking that question for days—with each annoyance, with each overly formal exchange between herself and Maura.

She was starting to think she should really just stick to work—those mysteries could be solved and answers be found in a logical manner; at least there, when you broke something, it was fixable. Jane sighed and took a pull of the beer, only half watching whatever was on the television. It was late enough, but she’d need at least another drink before she could sleep.

It took Jane until the second knock to realize someone was at the door. She pushed herself open, only half aware that she was still holding the beer in one hand as she pushed her fingers through her hair before opening the door. When she saw Marissa standing in the hall, shifting from foot to foot, though she smiled. “Hey, sorry, was the TV too loud?”

At first, Marissa hesitated before knocking. She could hear the TV, but the hallway was so quiet. As she glanced around her, she bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for. The times she’d run into Jane in the stairwell the past week, the brunette had seemed rushed and tired. But more than that…she was alone. It was pretty clear that something had happened between her and Dr. Isles, just as much as it had been pretty clear to Marissa that they were together. Part of her felt guilty, but she told herself that she was just checking on her friend.

Jane stepped aside and waived the young brunette inside. She had thought she wanted to be alone, but seeing Marissa was starting to change that. It would be a distraction from the thoughts Jane had been trying to ignore.

“No…no…” Marissa flashed a closed lip smile and hugged herself as she stepped in. She looked around, seeing little signs—beer caps that had fallen to the floor, a stray sock—that Jane hadn’t had visitors and wasn’t really expecting them. She took a deep breath and released her arms, trying to appear more comfortable. Jane’s apartment was warm…lived in, and Marissa wanted to be comfortable there if Jane would let her. But this wasn’t about that, she reminded herself. “I just…thought I’d come down and say hello. You’ve kinda seemed tired lately.”

“Oh…” Jane followed Marissa’s eyes around the apartment and cringed inwardly. It wasn’t her habit to be as fastidious and organized as Maura, but she had let a number of small things go between work and her efforts not to keep going over the conversation they had had…and the one they hadn’t that night. “Yeah, I guess I have been a bit.” She motioned to the beer in her hand. “Can I get you anything? Or are you studying more tonight?”

“I’m okay…I thought I’d take a break.” Marissa smiled more softly as she glanced to the sofa and took it upon herself to sit down. Jane seemed a little tipsy, but she was still herself. She was always polite, a little warm but a little distant, no matter what Marissa did. “Jane…” She pushed a piece of hair behind her ears. “Are you okay?”

The third, or fourth—she couldn’t quite remember—beer was hitting Jane, and she sighed, sinking onto the couch next to Marissa. She looked at the younger woman—despite her constant angst about school, it was obvious that she was determined and capable, and Jane had always been just a little impressed with her intuition. “I…yeah of course.” It was a lie—a really bad one—and Jane knew it wasn’t convincing in the slightest. Before Marissa could call her on it, if she even would, Jane cut her off, “Are you dating anyone? I mean…” Jane floundered, then shrugged, “Sorry, curious.” She didn’t know why she’d asked really, only that the topic had been all that had been on her mind lately. Was Marissa a part of an “us"? When did it become that? When was it more than sleeping in each others’ beds or leaving articles of clothing in each others’ closets?

“Oh…no. I’m not.” Marissa pushed the persistent lock of hair back behind her ear again, knowing that it would only fall against her cheek, which was now getting flushed. She wondered if that meant Jane was curious on more than a conversational level. And she felt bad about what she was about to ask, but the opening seemed there. “Are you?”

The next thing Jane knew, instead of answering Marissa, she was pulling her in and kissing her hungrily. The force behind it barely registered in her mind, but it kept all the questions and impending thoughts away. Jane could hear Marissa let out a surprised yelp, but she wasn’t pulling away—though Jane wasn’t sure she would have let her.

Marissa didn’t feel like Maura, and Jane wasn’t touching her as if she was. She felt the girl press back and finally broke the kiss long enough to pull them up off the couch. Jane felt her foot knock over her half–filled beer as she half tugged, half carried Marissa down the short hallway toward her bedroom. She could hear blood pounding in her ears, and Marissa was breathing fast.

Jane felt her frustration focus on the moment, and it increased as she registered how aroused she was. Something in here still didn’t want to believe it– this thing that was happening to her. She wanted to believe it was just Maura, something about her that brought out these feelings. But now here she was, pushing another woman’s shirt up and off, and moaning as she shoved her back onto the bedspread.

She moved quickly to pin Marissa down, and kissed her again, desperately trying to block the conflicting thoughts from her mind.

Whatever answer she had been expecting, Marissa had forgotten with the first touch of Jane’s lips. And even though she could taste beer mingled with something like desperation, she didn’t want to resist. She knew very well that she couldn’t completely blame it on shock; she had thought about things like this happening. But the fact was that things like this didn’t really happen. Her life was measured and stressful, and her escapes were well planned, but she felt the distinct rush of delight, of desire at how frantic Jane’s touch was and how unexpected the advances had been.

She felt almost overwhelmed when the air hit her skin, when she felt the rumpled bedspread underneath her. And Jane held her so firmly that she could not help but moan into the kiss. She was overwhelmed––deliciously overwhelmed, and she squirmed in an effort to make some sort of reciprocal move, to show Jane just how much she wanted this.

Jane wasn’t letting Marissa up: it would make it too real. She caught the girl’s wrists and pinned them over her head, quickly working her lips down Marissa’s neck, leaving a trail of growing red marks as she went. She could hear the noises Marissa was making, and she didn’t sound like Maura—Maura was confident and tended toward demanding, even when she let herself go completely. These sounds were surprised, speaking of muted, polite enjoyment. Jane’s hand moved mindlessly, pressing between Marissa’s legs as she pushed the brunette’s shirt up with the other. She growled in frustration, simply pushing Marissa’s bra down as much as she could before catching one of her nipples between her teeth.

“Oh! I…ooh…” Marissa arched under Jane and closed her eyes. She had never done something so spontaneous. She wasn’t sure she should be doing it now, but it felt so good. It was thrilling, and if she could admit it, it was also a little frightening. “I’m…are you sure it’s…” But she didn’t really want to ask. She didn’t really want anything but precisely what was happening right then. “Oh, that feels, so…wow…”

Finally, Jane glanced up, catching sight of Marissa’s delighted face, freezing when the brunette opened her eyes, meeting her gaze. “Shit…” Jane froze, pulling back from her and rolling onto the bed beside her. She covered her face with her hands. Suddenly, the moment was gone. Maybe the beer’s haze was lifting—but more than that, the truth of the situation finally overcame her basic wants. Jane was still wet and her pulse still quick, but she couldn’t bring herself to continue. Still hiding behind her fingers, she groaned, “God, Marissa, I’m sorry.”

“Jane…” It took her a moment to realize that Jane was not on top of her anymore. It took a longer moment to realize just what sort of look had been in the brunette’s eyes. Marissa’s heart was pounding wildly, but she forced herself to take a deep breath. “You don’t have to apologize…I’m okay. This is okay…” She knew it was weak; she knew the rough treatment was not what Jane was apologizing for, and perhaps it was acknowledging it that made her look down at her hands.

Jane groaned again, still hiding. “No, it’s not Marissa. And yes I do.” As much as Jane’s own thoughts were twisting, she knew Marissa’s were as well. She had been subtly aware of the girl’s interest over the past few months, though had only recently been able to acknowledge it. Maura had pointed it out, she realized, and she had laughed. She wondered…but there was too much. There were too many questions to ask about her motives. Finally, she dropped her hands to her sides, and glanced sideways at Marissa, “I just…I can’t do this.”

“Okay…” As she slid off of the bed and settled her clothing, Marissa forced a small smile. She turned her back to Jane, trying to hold back tears. “I understand, Jane. Really.” Dr. Isles seemed to be as smart as she was gorgeous, and even though Jane seemed to be miserable, Marissa knew she couldn’t compete.

As clueless as she might pretend to be, Jane could read heartbreak a mile away, and her stomach sunk. She got up to follow Marissa, searching for some kind of handle on the moment, “No, no, you don’t have to…look…I just need to sort some things out.” She put a hand on the brunette’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, it just isn’t fair to you for me to…” Jane’s voice faded out, and she hoped Marissa understood– but maybe not everything.

“You know…” Marissa quickly wiped her eyes, her smile coming more genuinely now even though she was in no mood for smiling. “You should really talk to her…” She didn’t know what had gone wrong, and she didn’t want to ask, didn’t need to hear it. But she still didn’t want to see Jane hurting. And as she quietly slipped into the hallway, she fought the urge to look back.

Jane’s mouth hung open slightly as she watched Marissa turn and step out of the room. She cringed, tensing when she heard the front door close. “Shit…” What the hell was getting into her? She glanced at the bedside table, and her phone seemed to look back at her—taunting. She wanted to throw it out the window, but instead, in a sudden bout of bad judgment, she hit the wall soundly with her knuckles. Jane swore again—loudly this time. The pain focused her, and she cradled her already bruising hand, brushing away some of the sting. Hopefully it wasn’t broken—everything else was. Across the room, her phone vibrated, and she felt her stomach jump slightly in anticipation. She looked at the caller ID—and let out a disappointed breath. Her mother was calling…again. But she decided she would deal with that, and everything else, in the morning.

~ ~ ~

Title: Comforts

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: The weeks slip by as a chilling case consumes Jane and Maura, but when Maura needs someone, there is no question who she turns to.

A/N: A sequel to

…From a Beginning’s End

Interruptions

Once Realized…

Incidentals

Question of Confidence

Nocturne

Absent

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/110436.

Comforts

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Comforts

When she drew the blinds closed one last time before getting into bed, Maura laughed softly at herself. There was no humor in it, though, only fatigue, perhaps a little bitterness. In just a few weeks’ time, checking the bedroom window twice, three times had become part of her normal routine, which had evolved from simply setting the alarm and making sure the lights were off to checking each door more thoroughly. The upstairs window to her bedroom would have been hard to reach, but it was the most intimate of all the portals to the night.

The case was draining her, just as it was draining everyone involved. She had very little time to think about how she was still sleeping alone. The awkwardness with Jane had been replaced by brusque, tense exchanges made that way not by their personal difficulties but by the pressing weight of time. A killer was taunting women, and he had been taunting them. While the ME’s office got its share of threats, this one had been for Maura specifically, and the one after it had made them pay more attention.

But even she had to admit that the days had left her weary and the tension brought on by fear had left her numb to some of that very fear. She was falling asleep, just as she did every night, thinking about what the next day would bring, what she had to do and what she actually could do. And she was not sure if she had actually drifted off when the sound of the alarm woke her with a start. Maura did not bother to look at the clock. She was on her feet, her phone in her hand, fingers dialing automatically as she carefully made her way to the stairs.

“Jane…I’m sorry…it’s my alarm…” She clutched the phone tightly. “Can you…thank you…”

By the time Jane’s car stopped outside Maura’s Brookline home, the local police were already there, and Jane could see them at the door where Maura was silhouetted, a thick coat pulled tightly around her shoulders. Her footfalls crunched over the newly falling snow as she made her way to the front door, relieved to see little movement from the officers—it didn’t seem that anything had been disturbed.

“Maura, are you alright? What happened?” Her eyes met Maura’s, and seeing the fading fear there, the past few weeks, their turmoil seemed less important—childish really. None of the officers asked who she was…word traveled fast, especially the unspoken kind.

“Just an animal,” Maura said softly as she nodded to the prints that were fading in the snow, “looking for a warm place to sleep.” She hugged the coat tighter. An apology was nearly on her lips, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Regardless of what had set her alarm off, she was still tense, still afraid. “Everything’s…normal.” Because everything was far from fine really, and Maura knew Jane could see it. She knew that the tension hanging in the air had nothing to do with them; at that moment, there was no one else Maura wanted there more. She didn’t want to be alone, but she was too proud to say it in such company.

Jane nodded quietly, letting the rest go unsaid for the moment. “Thanks guys, I’ll wrap this up.” Jane motioned to the other officers, who were all too happy to return to their warm cars. A few moments later, their voices faded and tires crunched over the unplowed road. It was cold, and snowflakes were sticking to Jane’s hair, but she and Maura still stood facing each other in the open doorway. Jane finally spoke again, but more quietly, “I could stay…if you want.”

“Would you mind?” Maura said, perhaps all too quickly. They were alone now, and she did not have the strength to be on guard against such a suggestion. She knew it was coming from a friend, from someone who wanted to protect her. And anything beyond that…she let her mind shut itself against it. The breadth of human capabilities astounded her. She allowed herself to indulge in things that made her remember that, appreciate that. Indulging in what she had with Jane made her remember why she tried not to go so far. The capacity for the living to hurt others—intentionally or not—was also astounding. But she was stepping aside, opening the door for Jane and letting her into the entryway. She was living too, and she needed comfort.

The warm air hit Jane as she stepped inside. She let out a long breath at the sensation, then caught it again when she heard the door close behind her, and Maura pass by just inches away. She took off her coat, hanging it where she had before. Her gun hung at her hip still– she had been prepared for the worst, and wouldn’t deny having slept with it close the past few weeks.

“Why don’t I look through the house, just to make sure?” Already, she was moving away, methodically glancing in each room as she passed, turning on lights as she went.

Maura slipped out of her coat, hanging it beside Jane’s. The feeling of familiarity when she saw them side by side almost overpowered her. Instead of following the brunette, she went to the kitchen, making herself a gin and tonic. There was beer in the fridge if Jane wanted it, but Maura was sure she wouldn’t. Upon the first sip of her drink as she sat down in the living room, she didn’t want it either. But the motions had steadied her. “Thank you for coming,” she called as she heard Jane’s footsteps approaching once again.

As Jane sat by Maura, she put her holstered weapon and badge next to each other on the coffee table. She could just see the slight unsteadiness of the blonde’s fingers wrapped around the glass. They had both been on edge for weeks, and it took a toll on both of them. She ran her fingers through her hair, eyes fixing on Maura, “You don’t have to thank me, Maura.”

Perhaps not. She would have thanked Frost, would have thanked Korsak or any of the others, but she could not deny that she had expected Jane to come, that she knew Jane would come without complaint or expectation. But even the tension of the case didn’t make the tension between them any easier. It simply forced it out of the forefronts of their minds, and now Maura felt it slowly creeping back in, tightening the muscles in her already knotted shoulders to the point of pain. “Let me get you something to drink…let me just…check the kitchen window again…”

Jane’s reached out and clasped Maura’s forearm, pulling her back onto the couch. She hated to see Maura so unsure—about anything. “No. No, I don’t need anything. And you know all the locks have been checked and re–checked.” It wasn’t until then that Jane realized she was still holding Maura’s arm–tighter now. “You should try and get some rest. It’s the middle of the night.”

“Jane, I…” Her hand was warm, and Maura could feel where smoothness gave way to the knotted cluster in the center. She did not realize how well she had come to know those hands, how she had grown so accustomed to their touch, to the anticipation merely in seeing them, seeing Jane. Despite any malaise between them, she felt her body begin to quick with that anticipation. She bit her lip as she pulled away slightly and pushed her head back. What she wanted was…it was too painful to want when Jane was so closed off to it, more closed off than Maura had initially realized. “Let me…there are clean sheets on the spare bed…just…pillows…”

“Yeah…I…okay thanks.” Jane’s stomach sank just a little, but she pushed the thought away. What had she expected anyway? She was the one who’d stopped whatever had been happening in the first place. She watched Maura finally get up and make for the stairs, and suddenly her mind flashed to weeks earlier—grabbing for Marisa, blindly making for the bedroom. Jane cringed and let out a quick breath as she stood. Out of habit, she picked up her things from the table and followed.

Wordlessly, Maura went to the linen closet and took out pillowcases, pausing to kneel next to Bass, touching his shell thoughtfully before getting up again. She traced the familiar steps to the entirely unused room, trying to force her churning thoughts into submission with each one. Pulling the cool cases over plump pillows––a familiar enough gesture––did nothing to relax her. And when she was done, there was the bed between she and Jane—the irony was not lost on her.

“Well, thank you for coming,” she said again, finishing softly without taking her eyes off of Jane. It was ridiculous to repeat, but she did not trust herself to say anything more.

Jane tried to keep her breath steady, but she was clenching and unclenching her fists by her sides. The curtains on the window behind Maura were open, and the blondea146s form was backed by the view clouded with falling snow. The storm was far from over, and the flakes were downy– slowly drifting, filling the air as they coated the house. Her voice seemed soft and low even in her own ears. “I’m sorry.” Jane didn’t quite realize she’d said it—it was the first thing she could manage to keep Maura from leaving her alone.

“No, it’s…” Maura responded immediately, her eyes wide as she shook her head. “That’s…it’s how you feel, and you shouldn’t have to apologize for that.” The words were automatic, almost hollow, and the apology didn’t make the sting go away. “It was too much.”

Silently, Jane thought of the last weeks, sleepless nights that had nothing to do with cases, going through more cheap beer than she wanted to admit, and let out a long breath. “Maybe, Maura—maybe it was that night. But this..” Jane gestured vaguely between them, “I don’t think this is enough.”

To stop herself from answering immediately, from simply going to Jane and letting herself give up rational thought, Maura licked her lips. She ran her fingertips over one of the pillows, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle. “It’s been a long night…a long few weeks.” The sounds of slippers moving across the floor as she turned to the door seemed unnaturally loud. She was tired; for the first time that night she realized that the tension in her back and shoulders was pulsing pain. “Good night, Jane,” she said quietly, forcing herself to glance back for a moment, but only just that.

The door was closed behind Maura before Jane could respond. She wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss, and bit her lip against it as she shed her clothes and crawled into the bed.

* * * * *

It might have just been the swirling wind, but Maura found herself wide awake and near panic. The house silent, though, and she convinced herself that if the alarm had not gone off, she was still safe. Then, she remembered Jane sleeping just down the hall. A hollow feeling consumed her when she looked at the empty side of her bed. She was tired. She was afraid. And soon, she was moving down the hallways on bare feet to slip into bed with the brunette. There was something almost intoxicating about her warmth, about the way she moved immediately to take Maura into her arms. And without letting herself give a thought to how much it would hurt to slip away again in the morning, Maura fell back asleep.

* * * * *

Jane stirred as the first rays of sunlight drifted through the windowpane. She was just on the edge of consciousness, breathing a too familiar scent, her body relaxed and draped comfortably around Maura’s sleeping form. Slowly, painfully, her mind pulled together, and she tensed. Her lips were still pressed lightly against Maura’s hair, hovering just over her bare shoulder. Jane’s mind was racing now—becoming fully aware. Had something happened? What was going on? Still, she was loath to pull away from the other body—the one that fit so perfectly against hers. The night before, all she had wanted was to make Maura stay like this, and now that it had happened, Jane had no idea what to make of it. Maura stirred quietly, and Jane couldn’t hold herself in suspense any longer.

“Maura?” Her voice was a tense whisper.

“Mmm…” Maura didn’t want to wake up. It was too pleasant a dream, and dreams like that didn’t hurt until later. Then they faded. She turned into Jane, snuggling closer, lips finding the brunette’s collarbone and brushing against it. Her skin was so soft, warm, and everything about the moment was too perfect. So, naturally, she opened her eyes. “Oh…”

Jane shivered at Maura’s touch but stiffened when their eyes met. Maybe it was the feel of Maura’s skin on hers that kept her from thinking rationally—or maybe it was just that which let her see what she really wanted for the first time. Either way, Jane’s fingers found Maura’s hair, and the next moment found her pulling the blonde up and into a needy kiss.

Moaning into the kiss, Maura let herself arch into Jane. She felt herself letting familiar urges take over, as a rising sense of almost frantic desire pushed her to pull up Jane’s shirt, to press her hips forward. It was not unlike countless small moments of want they had shared until she forced herself to take a breath to pull away. But even then, as she met Jane’s eyes, she couldn’t refuse the apology; she couldn’t refuse what she wanted, no matter what they called it. And she kissed Jane fiercely.

Jane moaned, letting out the tension that had been building since the night before. Soon she was returning Maura’s quickening touches, pulling at what little clothes they wore, and breathing heavily when finally she felt their skin meet unimpeded. The next second found her moving her lips lower, firmly marking Maura’s skin like she hadn’t felt the urge to do before.

If she wanted to say anything, words would not come. Maura expressed halting breaths under Jane’s touches, under each nip of her teeth. She closed her eyes, letting herself feel more acutely while she drug her fingers through Jane’s thick hair, letting her nails trail down the brunette’s scalp. Without realizing it, she was wrapping her legs around Jane, pressing closer, wanting more contact than she could possibly be given that way. And finally, none too gently, she found herself urging the course of Jane’s lips downward.

Even though Jane let Maura guide her, she resisted long enough to work her lips around each of Maura’s nipples in turn. She could already feel the blonde’s wetness against her stomach, and she slid her hands lower along Maura’s body, laying rushed kisses on her stomach as she moved, finally settling between her legs. For once, she didn’t take the time to pause, instead wrapping her arms around Maura’s already tensing thighs– urging them apart further. She could readily remember the sounds that Maura could make when she finally let go, and Jane had no intention of waiting a moment too long to hear them.

“Yes,” Maura managed to gasp as she easily let her legs fall over Jane’s shoulders. She opened her eyes long enough to catch the brunette’s gaze and closed them again when she let her head fall back as she moaned. Then, she could feel Jane’s breath on her, then Jane’s tongue, her lips. And whatever worries they had were gone for a little while at least. And Jane relished the feeling of Maura’s heels against her back and moved with her as the blonde rocked subtly on the bed under her. She was persistent, pushing her quickly toward the edge. Her fingers were leaving marks on Maura’s skin that would last, but she didn’t care.

It could have been mere moments or longer than that, but Maura was soon trembling under her climax, her moans filling the room as much as the sunlight now spilling through the curtains. She arched into Jane’s fingertips, her short fingernails. And when she was finally, she was not sated. Her mind screamed that she wanted more, needed more, and her body did not make her question the thoughts. She pulled Jane up on top of her, kissing her wantonly as she rolled them over and settled herself on top.

Jane barely had a chance to breathe before Maura’s lips were on hers again, and she opened her mouth, moaning quietly when Maura slid her tongue into her mouth. She reached for the blonde again, pulling her down fiercely. There were so many thoughts in her mind that none were coherent, all she could feel was Maura’s weight and heat. And Jane wanted more, even if it meant having to wait, she wanted to push Maura for more. Her hands went to the blonde’s hips, and she pressed her close, thinking of all the times she’d wanted to take her over the last weeks but had denied it. Now she could hear Maura starting to moan again, and Jane grew more insistent, rocking their bodies together.

For a while, she was free of the fears that had plagued her throughout the past few weeks. She was free of the worry and the guilt, and she felt unrestrained in allowing herself to get lost in the feel of Jane, in the scent of her skin, her hair––shampoo and sweat and sleep and something that was entirely Jane. “Want you,” she gasped. “Now.” Maura’s voice was low, thick, and she wasted no time in pressing her hand between Jane’s legs, pushing two fingers into Jane and moaning at just how ready the brunette was.

Too quickly overwhelmed to respond, Jane found herself just nodding—acquiescing to whatever Maura needed in the moment. Maura pushed her harder, and Jane squirmed, panting as she felt her add another finger inside her.

To feel Jane so close to coming undone only made Maura want her more. She pressed the heel of her hand down against the brunette’s clit, moaning at the immediate response, at the way Jane arched sharply into the touch. Maura wanted her completely overwhelmed; she knew Jane would let go with her, would trust her to see that, even if she did not trust herself to give complicated answers to deceptively simple questions. Without a word, breath jagged, she took one of Jane’s nipples between her teeth, nipping it harder than she had ever before. Jane groaned, and arched up into Maura’s mouth. The insistent strokes of Maura’s tongue on her skin, combined with her thrusts was more than enough. She twisted under Maura, calling out her name when she finally let go, and pulling her close the second after.

Maura’s breathing didn’t slow. She was ready again, and even the sound, the feel of Jane’s heartbeat. She kissed her neck, tasting her salty skin before nuzzling it softly. “I need you, Jane,” she whispered quietly. There were things Maura knew she needed. Food, water, shelter—those were basic, rational. There were less rational things––her shoes, her favorite foods. But she had come to accept that as the human condition. This was perhaps less rational than that, but she trusted her body. She trusted Jane.

There were so many things that Jane wanted to say I need you too…I need you in ways I don’t understand… but all of them didn’t feel right crossing her lips in the moment. Jane just didn’t say things like that – things that belonged to movies and books, and people whose lives didn’t involve the usual human fallacies. She knew Maura wanted, and would soon demand an answer. “Yes…” Jane managed that far but responded in turn by tangling her fingers in Maura’s hair, pulling her into another long kiss. Her energy and want was contagious, and Jane felt her heart start to pound again in response.

When the kiss broke, Maura gasped for breath, for purchase in the moment that became so dizzying so suddenly. She pressed into Jane, trying to draw in her heat, and soon she was touching her again, squirming as Jane’s hand found her way between her legs as well. Maura simply let her mind race, let her body push itself, knowing that that when they reached their physical limits, they could begin to explore the rest. And there, she tried to feel as much of Jane as she could as the brunette pushed her closer.

It might have been seconds, minutes or hours for all Jane could care. When Jane finally rolled them to their sides, letting out a deep and satisfied breath the sunlight was bright, reflecting off the deep blanket of snow outside and making patterns dance on the walls as it shown through the bare trees. The sheets were tangled– thrown aside and impossibly twisted, and both their bodies coated in a sheen of sweat. For a few heartbeats longer they lay like that, foreheads pressed together, breathing shared air. “Maura..” Jane whispered, as if afraid to break the silence that had fallen, “I…I’m scared.”

The simplicity of the admission took Maura by surprise. She let the silence stretch, perhaps for too long, but her eyes lingered on Jane, holding her gaze so that she could not become overwhelmed and try to run away again. Maura considered that, pondered what it would do, how completely broken she knew she would become if Jane walked away. “So am I,” she said softly as she twined her fingers together with Jane’s. “But I’d rather be scared with a chance to build something…something I suspect neither of us has ever had before, than be miserable alone.”

It never ceased to amaze Jane how Maura could find an appropriate response to everything. She nodded, mind still working through what she was admitting to. Yes—kshe was scared to feel this change in herself, but more scared even by the realization that by gaining this attachment, this connection, she had even more to lose. She faced fears every day, but she always thought that the biggest risk she took was that she would one day not make it back from a call. Until now though, such a thought was personal to only her– and a risk she had made peace with. She wrapped Maura in her arms, trying to push the worries away by surrounding herself with Maura’s warmth. Jane nodded into Maura’s hair and hoped it would be enough.

~ ~ ~

Title: Release

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: It’s always been easy for Jane to deal with the job, with the chase in ways she’s used to, but something about being with Maura changes that.

A/N: A sequel to

…From a Beginning’s End

Interruptions

Once Realized…

Incidentals

Question of Confidence

Nocturne

Absent

Comforts

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/112608.

Release

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Chapter 1

Jane sipped her coffee—it needed more sugar—as Frost drove toward the ME’s office. She could feel Maura’s obvious pouting in the backseat of the cruiser, but she could also feel the tension that had been following all of them. Since they had confirmed their suspect was still on the streets, she’d insisted Maura have an escort to and from work, though the blonde still was resistant. It had taken Jane going to the lieutenant for a formal order. For his part, Barry ever the good partner, was aggressively ignoring whatever was going on between the two women.

She was doing her best to force down the coffee and figure out what she could say that wouldn’t result in the ride back to Maura’s at the end of the day even worse. But Jane was pretty set on the entire day being tense. They were just four blocks from Maura’s office when the radio crackled to life,

“All units in the vicinity of Albany and Washington streets: suspect sighted on foot…” Even as the description continued, both Jane and Frost’s phones rang in unison and she could feel Maura sitting forward.

“We’re close.” Jane could feel her adrenaline start to rise. Frost glanced over at her, silently asking if they should call another unit. They probably should –Maura was technically a civilian and with the threats…but the allure was too much. It was their case; he was their suspect.

“Just go.” Jane’s voice was steady, and Frost just nodded. In a moment, he was swerving the cruiser out of traffic, expertly navigating Boston’s narrow streets toward the last known sighting.

“There!” Jane pointed, catching a glimpse of the man’s back as it disappeared down an alley down the block.

“You sure?” Frost’s response was automatic, and he was already slowing by the curb.

“Yes.” Jane’s hand was already on the handle of the car door and the other un–holstering her gun. The street was narrow and the alley coated in thick snow, iced over from months of going un–plowed.

Just before Jane slammed the door behind her, she glanced at Maura, “Stay. There.” The look in her eyes was feverish, brought on by the weeks of anguish over the case and the suffering of too many victims. Before Maura could respond, Jane had turned and was running down the icy bricks of the sidewalk, skidding to a halt at the corner of the alley. There she paused a split second—back to the wall, weapon drawn preparing for whatever was next. Jane took a breath, and glanced around the corner. The figure was there, moving away from her.

“Stop! Police!” The second the words were out of her mouth, the man ran, not even looking back to see who was chasing him—he already knew.

“Shit.” Jane started after him. He had a good head start, but before he could reach the street again, he slipped, pitching forward on the ice. In a few seconds, Jane was on top of him. She was already reaching for the cuffs at the back of her belt when he sprung up, and she felt something hard hit her wrist—sending her weapon flying out of her hand, skidding across the snow. Instinctively, she brought her other hand up and slammed her fist as hard as she could against the man’s chin. His eyes connected with hers for a split second as his head snapped back and the fury there made Jane go cold.

Jane shook it off and lunged for her gun. The next instant she knew it was a mistake and felt something hard hit the back of her head. Her world spun, and she hit the ground, even as she heard footsteps approach from behind her in the snow.

How they knew the streets so well, Maura would never really know. She wouldn’t have guessed the way Frost turned would have gotten them where it did, but once he slipped out of the car, she was fast behind him, slipping in her heels, struggling for purchase on the icy brick. Her ankles were numb in the snow, but somehow, Frost didn’t hear her behind him. She knew adrenaline was to blame. Her own was coursing through her as her blood rushed in her ears. She skidded, falling forward to catch herself with the heels of her hands, pain shooting up her arms. But Maura was as quick as she possibly could be back to her feet. And that’s when she saw him looming there as Jane groaned in the snow. Her breath caught in her throat, threatening to close it with fear.

“Jane!” she called, causing Frost’s head to snap back from where he was creeping forward. The perp turned back swiftly too, startled. But his expression quickly changed and horror froze Maura in place when she saw the smile that came to his face as he turned fully away from Jane and took a step toward her.

A new chill went through Jane when Maura’s voice cut through the blackness. She stirred, gathering her senses with an even greater sense of urgency. She could see his back turned to her now as he advanced on Maura. Jane scrambled, and her fingers closed on her gun. She looked up and saw him reach for something in his coat. She saw a flash of metal, and before Jane could think, her finger closed on the trigger– the shot echoed through the alley, and the man collapsed, clutching his right leg.

Her vision blurred as she stood, but Jane shook herself, pushing it away. Frost was already moving in and reaching for his cuffs, but Jane gave him a look, and he paused, picking up the suspect’s gun instead from where it had been dropped in the snow. Roughly, Jane hauled the groaning man’s hands from his leg, and twisted them behind his back, and the cuffs clicked closed. Finally, she stood. Her hands were bloody, and now they started to shake for the first time. “Frost, call an ambulance.” The Jane still stared at the man at her feet—he didn’t deserve it, but life wasn’t always fair.

The sound of the shot brought Maura out of her stupor and the rest seemed to have happened too slowly or too quickly—she couldn’t quite place which. Her legs were now numb with cold as she forced them move forward. “You’re bleeding,” she said,” carefully reaching up to part Jane’s now matted hair. “It’s probably a superficial cut, but you could have a concussion.” The words were automatic. She was doing what she knew. Fear couldn’t take that way from her. But her voice was more urgent than calm; the permutations of what could have happened were chilling.

Maura knew the ambulance was on the way, but she had to do her duty as a doctor––a doctor first, then a woman…a scared, worried woman. She knelt in the snow, avoiding the perp’s dark eyes as she examined the wound in his leg. “Clean entry an exit,” she said methodically. “The blood loss should not be too substantial before the paramedics arrive.” She could hear the sirens. She wanted to get away, to take Jane someplace safer, to be someplace safer herself, even though the threat was writhing in front of her.

They were close to the hospital, and before Jane had time to answer, the paramedics were making their way down the alley. She nodded, recognizing several of them. Jane turned to Frost, “Go with them, keep an eye on this guy?” She could feel Maura shift beside her, but cut her off before she could say anything else, “I’m fine. I should get you to your office.” The cold was closing in now, and Jane could feel the pain in her head and wrist start to break through. She started to the cruiser as the ambulance pulled away and slid in as Maura got in next to her.

“What?” Maura turned toward her and took her arm with numb fingers before she could pull away from the curb. “No, you’ve…Jane, you’ve probably got a concussion.” Maura’s protests were weaker than she would have liked them to be. She was cold. She was holding back tears of relief, of worry.

Jane pulled out onto the road, driving the few blocks to the ME’s office, “I’m fine. You’re a doctor anyway, I’ll even let you look me over.” She let a hint of a smile cross her lips, “Just don’t tell anyone, this one’s mine and I’m damn well not gonna let anyone else take the credit for it.” Jane parked the car, and reached for the back of her head, breath hissing lightly when she felt the cut. “Bastard doesn’t get to do this to me unless I can be the one to tell the city he’s off the streets.”

Maura’s lips thinned into a straight line, but she knew that tone. She knew it was useless to argue…and she was too tired for it anyway. She simply waved Jane inside, ushering her quickly to her office, where she pulled on gloves. She wondered if Jane was being entirely literal when she referred to what he had done to her; she wondered if her own turmoil meant anything to that statement. “Be still,” she said as she rounded Jane and parted her hair, looking at the cut. Maura frowned as she stepped away to a small sink. She caught herself in the mirror––circles under her eyes, pale cheeks––but she dismissed that as she went back to Jane, where she began to clean the wound as best she could. “You’ll have to pull your hair up or wear a hat until you can wash it, but…I’ll need to give you a stitch first…two, I think.” She moved away, methodically gathering the things she needed.

Jane nodded. The wound was stinging now more than before, but the rest of her was starting to uncoil– relaxing finally in the heat of the office. She didn’t question Maura– trusting her implicitly, mind already thinking ahead to what would come next. “Okay, yes…thank you.”

“I should be thanking you,” Maura said quietly, pausing before she began to stitch. She could feel Jane’s flesh, warm under her fingers, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed with relief that they were both there, alive.

Jane pulled in a breath when Maura started, digging her fingers into the arms of the chair. Maura was precise and efficient, but the sensation was still intense. She closed her eyes for a moment, “You should have stayed in the car.” Despite the admonishment in her words, Jane’s voice was soft– she had no interest in placing blame, or really revisiting the moment so soon.

There was nothing Maura could find to say. She knew that she should have stayed in the car. She else knew that if she hadn’t, there was a chance something more dire might have happened to Jane. There were so many possibilities that came to endings that overwhelmed what tentative resolutions Jane and Maura had reached between themselves. “There,” she said as she stepped back, lingering behind Jane uncertainly.

Jane relaxed for a moment before standing. Her wrist still hurt, but it moved well enough, just a sprain and a few bruises – nothing a few Tylenol wouldn’t take care of. She looked at Maura, and finally let out a breath, a light smile of relief starting to grow. “I should go back and clean things up at the unit.” She didn’t want to leave Maura’s quiet office for the chaos waiting outside, but it had to happen sooner or later. “But can I see you tonight?” They’d been spending almost every night together, though there had been little energy for more than survival. Jane was ready to feel human again.

A soft, genuine smile came to Maura’s face as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. She was beginning to feel unbelievably tired now, but warmth was creeping back into her at the promise of a return to more normal days. “You’re my ride home, remember?"

Chapter 2

As Maura unlocked the door and disarmed the alarm, she smiled to herself, realizing how quickly she had come to take for granted that Jane was right behind her, arming the alarm again as she was hanging up their coats. But that evening, she was calmer, her body less wound with tension. The sun had been setting in the falling snow on their way to her home, and she had been able to enjoy it. She was not free of tension, however, but this one was different, pleasant. She and Jane could finally relax, enjoy each other.

“I should open champagne,” Maura said as she made her way into the kitchen. There was a bottle in the back of the fridge; she couldn’t deny indulging once in a while, and it was habit to keep a bottle for just that. This time, however, it was warranted. As she went about uncorking the bottle and pouring its contents into flutes, her eyes kept straying to Jane, watching her, appreciating her, waking desires, urges that had been present but muted by fear. “To…” She shook her head, laughing, her fingers brushing Jane’s as she handed her the glass, “to being done with it.”

Jane should have felt calm, or tired, by the long day and the weeks before it. Instead, something in her started to rise as she nodded in agreement and took more than a polite sip of the drink. Maura’s taste was, as always, perfect and Jane watched some color start to return to the other woman’s cheeks. She just watched her for a few long moments, eyes lingering on fingers, the fit of her clothes. The brunette could feel long pushed back desires closing in and the blood start to color her own cheeks.

As she fingered the stem of her glass, Maura shifted out of her heels, steeping onto the cool floor and gently nudging them aside. The rising color in Jane’s cheeks immediately caught her attention. For so many days, they had both been wan with dark circles underneath their eyes. But neither of them had had enough champagne yet for flushes like that. “I…” Maura shook her head as she thought of that morning, of the way Jane unflinchingly did what she had to do. “I don’t even know how to thank you. These past few weeks have been…so tiring…and so tense…”

Shifting, Jane was almost surprised at the force of the thoughts that crossed her mind then. Her adrenaline hadn’t faded entirely from the chase, and the sting in her scalp was a constant reminder—keeping her just slightly on edge. “Agreed.” Jane set down her glass, and stepped closer.

“It was so hard to actually get any work done…” Maura ran the tips of her fingers over the heel of her hand where she had scraped it falling when she ran after Jane. The memories of the morning were beginning to be fuzzy, but the feelings were still so acute. And then there was Jane’s proximity, despite her fatigue, despite her sore muscles, it woke something in her, and she found herself smiling, moving closer. “But I’m glad to wrap this one up…just…” She shook her head and sighed softly as she ran her hand down Jane’s arm, simply making sure she was real.

Jane caught Maura’s hand by the wrist, turning it too look briefly at the scratches on her palm. At that, her thoughts finally boiled over, and she lost them entirely. “It’s done. For us anyway.” She had had to turn Jennings over to the rest—the judges and the lawyers—and that process was always too slow for her. Jane found she needed something more fulfilling and concrete. Her pulse rushed, and before she could stop herself, she was closing her fingers on Maura’s wrist, and pushing her back against the counter. She managed to just barely register a flash of surprise in the blonde’s eyes before she was kissing her forcefully.

Moments like these were not uncommon, not for Maura, but she gasped at the force behind Jane’s touch, behind the kisses, and the sound of surprise she made was swallowed by them. There was no hesitation where Jane had hesitated before, where she had taken time to question, to let her thoughts spin until Maura could easily push her, take her, force her to concentrate. But this was different; Maura knew immediately. Now she was questioning. She had never seen Jane like this, especially after this type of case. “Jane,” she gasped when they had to pull away. “Jane, I…” But she couldn’t find the right words, and her tone…the desperation almost surprised her, and Maura realized that Jane still had her fingers clenched around her wrist.

Maura’s hesitation only just registered in Jane’s mind, but the blonde’s tone was so heated already that it only drove her on. Soon, Jane’s was moving her lips down Maura’s neck, laying short, hot kisses as they went. Her grip tightened, and Jane twisted Maura’s arm behind her back, using it to tug her closer. There had been other nights like this, before Maura—after a long chase where Jane had found herself staring into the bottom of a bottle of tequila, or indiscriminately letting some other officer take her home, sometimes both. This time, however, she didn’t think the next day would be so heavy with regret.

“Jane,” Maura moaned again, pressing into her. She pressed her legs together tightly as she pushed her hips forward. “We should…” She ended with a soft, almost desperate moan. Maura didn’t care if they got to the bedroom, didn’t care if Jane had something else in mind. She wasn’t sure what was going on in the brunette’s mind, and she wasn’t sure if she should try to fight it. But as she flexed under Jane’s grip, Jane only pushed her harder, and Maura couldn’t deny the distinct thrill in that.

“Shhh..” Jane could hear Maura start to breathe harder, but she wasn’t pulling away. That she’d never been so bold with the blonde crossed her mind, but so many emotions were pushing her on, and Jane dropped her free hand to start tugging Maura’s skirt up over her hips.

With her free hand, Maura slipped her fingers underneath Jane’s belt, pulling her closer across a distance that was already minute. She had never been shy about taking her pleasure, about subtly directing Jane to it, but now Maura was testing, pushing just a little to see what Jane really meant by her actions. She kissed underneath her ear, nipping at it before Jane moved on, lips moving over some other part of her skin.

Jane groaned, letting her last reservations slip as she felt Maura’s fingers brush against her skin. Her voice dropped dangerously, and she breathed against Maura’s neck, “Mmmn..I want you.” She didn’t wait for a reply, but caught the hand that was at her waist, and spun Maura around. The next moment she was marching her out of the kitchen, stopping partway to the living room to force the blonde face–first against the wall. On instinct, Jane reached for the set of cuffs still in their place on her belt.

The sound Maura made started as a surprised squeal and quickly became a soft, guttural moan. “I…” she gasped. I want you to…just like this…. But Maura couldn’t say it, couldn’t force the words out because she was moaning desperately. Her eyes went wide when she heard the distinct clatter of the cuffs. This wasn’t something she had done, had ever considered doing. She liked to fight, to push, to be restrained underneath the weight of a body. But Jane had other ideas, and it was clear that she wouldn’t be stopped.

Jane felt Maura tense, and paused part way through the practiced action, fingers clicking the metal around the blonde’s slender wrist. She held the other poised to close, and leaned in closer, “Yes?” Jane could barely get the word out through her fast breathing, and if Maura stopped this now, she wasn’t sure what she would do.

“I want you too,” Maura said quickly, breathlessly. The cuff was cool against her wrist, and that thrilled her more than she thought anything else that night could. “Jane…” She moaned, pressing herself into the wall, waiting. “Please…”

The instant Maura finished, the other cuff clicked firmly closed, and Jane spun Maura back around. “Shit…” Jane muttered under her breath. She needed release so badly, and Maura’s easy compliance had done nothing to ease her want. Jane kissed Maura fiercely, reaching for her own belt, tugging it off, unzipping her pants, and pushing Maura down firmly.

Her knees hit the floor too hard, and Maura winced, but she made no sound of complaint. Instead she flicked her eyes up to Jane’s as she tested the cuffs, knowing their strength would be beyond her own. And the way Jane’s eyes were dark, clouded with desire that was more intense than anything Maura had seen before. She breathed in her scent as she lowered her eyes and leaned forward, delicately pressing her mouth between Jane’s legs and nipping at her clit, teasing. Jane’s breath came sharply, then she groaned at the light touches. She wasn’t in control enough to wait for Maura to ease into the request, and instead gripped a handful of Maura’s hair to press her closer.

As she moaned into Jane, Maura found herself clenching and unclenching her fingers. She wanted to press them into the brunette, to feel just how wet she was, and she made a soft sound of frustration as she started to lick her more firmly, circling Jane’s clit with her tongue. The long fingers in her hair held it tightly where pricks of pain radiated out along her scalp. But Maura didn’t mind that; she couldn’t deny that Jane suddenly being so bold, so demanding—when it was usually she who demanded—was pushing her own desire to the point of pain.

“Mm…yes” Jane’s eyes were closed, and she held Maura’s mouth against her. Just a few more moments was all she could stand, and her breath caught in the back of her throat, finally giving way to a long release. She panted, letting go of Maura’s hair to brace herself on the wall in front of her.

Maura whimpered into Jane, tasting her, pushing her through it. She knew Jane’s body. She knew when she was finished, how quickly she could be ready again. She could hear each of Jane’s breath and feel her pulse. But Maura didn’t stop. She strained against the cuffs as she continued to lick, pushing against Jane. Part of her wanted to see what Jane would do, to see if the brunette would give in, and part of her simply didn’t want to stop.

When she finally came back to herself, Jane groaned. The touch was almost too intense now, and she knew Maura was enjoying it. She shook herself, and stepped back a pace, watching Maura’s posture– noting how she was subtly rubbing her legs together. Jane calmly re–fastened her pants, but let her belt clatter onto the floor. What release she had gained a moment earlier now didn’t seem like enough with Maura there wanting so obviously. Jane’s eyes darkened, and she moved in to press Maura flat on the ground, allowing just enough slack to accommodate her hands still bound behind her.

Maura’s lips parted and she drew in a silent, shuddering breath. Her eyes met Jane’s, and she couldn’t look away, she couldn’t find her own breath. Blood rushed in her ears when she saw them darkened by desire, unclouded with uncertainty. And in that moment, Maura knew that she could keep pushing, but Jane wouldn’t break. She pressed her legs together tightly, squirming, awkward and not caring what it looked like.

Jane leaned over Maura, taking a moment to bite at her neck, leaving behind a growing red mark on her skin. Then she abruptly shifted, moving back and catching the squirming blonde by the ankles. Without pausing, Jane yanked her forward, forcing her skirt up over her hips. She only barely stopped herself from ripping off the bit of lace and silk Maura still wore under it, dragging it off roughly instead.

A yelp escaped Maura’s lips at the treatment, and it quickly ended in a deep moan. She squirmed as the handcuffs bit into her wrists and back, as Jane’s rough touches marked her skin. She couldn’t deny her own arousal. Her thighs were wet with it. “Jane,” she moaned, begging, knowing she was begging for Jane to continue rather than to stop.

Jane didn’t answer, but descended on Maura again, forcing her legs apart, and pushing her fingers between them. Her hips held the blonde in place, and she closed her eyes– groaning when she felt how wet Maura was already. The brunette wasn’t thinking about anything else– just the sensations of the moment, and instinct guiding her on.

There was something in each touch that that spoke of hubris, of the cockiness that Jane wore every day as she went about her job. She let herself be vulnerable with Maura, but now…now Jane was simply letting herself go, letting herself revel in a victory that had been long and hard in winning. Maura arched into the touch, moaning loudly, seeking Jane’s lips with her own.

Jane only indulged the kiss for a moment, then pulled away to bite along Maura’s jawline. She pressed harder, adding another finger inside of the blonde. She was breathing fast, moaning under her breath, “Mmmn…I want to hear you come for me…” That she’d never demanded anything of the sort from Maura before didn’t have time to cross Jane’s mind.

“I…yes…” Maura had never wanted to comply with anyone more than she did in that moment. “I want to…I want…harder, please…” she whimpered, knowing full well that Jane could and might refused, and that in itself thrilled her.

Jane was in no place to stop, and growled lowly at the request. She forced harder, pressing her hip against her own hand with each thrust. She was starting to sweat with the exertion, and Maura’s skin felt hot, flushed under her.

Each time Jane pushed into her, the cuffs bit into Maura’s back, she clenched her fists, wanting to hold Jane’s hips, to wind Jane’s hair around her fingertips. She wanted to push just as hard as Jane was pushing, but the helplessness, to her surprise, was pushing her close to the edge, and finally she cried out as her body tensed and shook with her climax.

At the noise, Jane let go of her own tension, out a long breath. It took her several more moments, however, to come back to herself enough to pull her hand away. She lay across the blonde, trying to clear her mind– almost at a loss for her own actions. Immediately, she moved, rolling Maura over far enough to quickly remove the cuffs from her wrists. Jane started, seeing the angry marks they left on her skin. That was enough to shatter her earlier drive, and she sat back, stunned at the realization. “God…Maura…I…”

Maura rolled her wrists, luxuriating in how free they felt, but she heard something like doubt creeping into Jane’s voice, and she knew that after such a long month, after such a long day and the way Jane had reacted to it, that could mean she would crash, that what they were having there would disappear. She only hesitating for a moment, considering what might be best for her, for Jane. But in the end, what she wanted won out, and Maura immediately pushed her hands into Jane’s hair, careful not to push into the cut she had stitched earlier that day and kissed her desperately, with desire that was growing again and quickly. She hoped it reassured Jane, hoped it pushed her back into the mindset she had walked in with that night. And Maura hoped she could take a little more than her fill. Just thinking of how it had begun, how quickly Jane had taken control was making Maura quickly ready again. “You’re amazing,” she rasped, voice thick, finishing Jane’s sentence for her.

Jane didn’t have time to think further before Maura stole her breath, forcing the thoughts of what she had just done from her mind. She kissed Maura back with just as much force, moaning as she started dragging Maura back up from the floor.

“Take me to bed,” Maura moaned. “Take me…” She didn’t care if it was really to bed, or the sofa, or the kitchen counter…it didn’t matter. But there was no demand in her voice, only need as she pressed herself into Jane and began to kiss her neck, sucking lightly at each spot until she nipped underneath her earlobe.

Jane finally managed to smile. She had needed the force to drive away the day, but now could feel a different need building. She was ready to do just what Maura asked– take her to bed and stay there until the morning…maybe longer. That it was still early in the evening didn’t matter, and Jane moaned, wrapping Maura around her and taking a deep breath as she lifted the blonde and started to make her way to the bedroom.

Chapter 3

The moment she became aware that she was conscious, Maura didn’t have to open her eyes to know it was later than she usually slept. But she immediately felt Jane warm underneath her, one of her arms wrapped tightly around Maura’s waist. She shifted and a pleasant soreness radiated through her limbs.

“Mmm,” she murmured quietly as she kissed Jane’s neck softly, half in an effort not to really wake her.

Jane opened one eye at a time, blinking in the sunlight streaming through the windows. Maura’s weight across her felt good, and she was far too content to move yet. “Hey, morning.”

“Morning,” Maura whispered, smiling as Jane’s eyes cleared of sleep. She moved slowly off of her, pulling the brunette on top of her and wrapping her arms around her loosely. She didn’t ask for more than that and simply luxuriated in the feel of Jane’s warm skin, the tickle of her curls as they fell. “Though…judging from the relative position of the shadows…mmm, it’s near noon,” she murmured. “I could make brunch.”

Jane kissed Maura quietly, pausing as she saw the bruises now quite visible on her wrists. She tried to push it away, to trust in Maura’s tone, her touch. The brunette let out a long breath, and ran her hands over Maura’s sides. “You could.” She kissed her more deeply, “but maybe in a little while.”

~ ~ ~

Title: Every New Beginning…

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Maura knows Jane, but she knows she can’t predict the outcome of a conversation they have to have.

A/N: A sequel to

…From a Beginning’s End

Interruptions

Once Realized…

Incidentals

Question of Confidence

Nocturne

Absent

Comforts

Release

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/114810.

Every New Beginning…

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Maura ran her fingers through her hair thoughtfully as she waited for the elevator to begin its ascent. She was alone save for her thoughts, but they had been enough to keep Maura company for the entirety of the day. Now, they seemed to be closing in.

Still, she put a small smile on her face when the door opened and she stepped toward homicide’s squad room. Immediately, she was greeted with nods, as well as a smile or two and a ‘hello.’ Maura knew a calm, pleasant expression afforded her more of these pleasantries than usual. There were no whispers behind her back; there were no murmurs of the name that she had come to quietly endure without embracing. But she wasn’t carrying a folder, wasn’t wearing her lab coat, and there was nothing grim about her brisk walk.

Maura wondered if it was obvious that she was there to see Jane. When she changed back from her scrubs to the dress she wore in that morning, she took as much care as usual not to wrinkle it–that was simply a given for her routine. But she had refreshed her makeup and run a brush through her hair before dabbing her perfume just behind her knees, knowing that would refresh the scent without it being obvious. And Jane would find it later–she hoped.

When she saw Maura approaching, Jane smiled brightly. It was different than a friendly smile; Maura knew that immediately. Frost probably saw it…perhaps Korsak did as well…but the others… There were little touches, looks. They held hands at dinner; they walked arm in arm when shopping, at the symphony. Those things were all part of Maura’s world, but this was Jane’s. And while she was happy–almost blissfully happy–Maura wanted what was between them to be as complete as it could. She had been hesitating, and she told herself that it was all right considering what happened the last time she’d brought it up.

But she was also not the type of woman to continue to put things off. Winter was showing a chance of disappearing into spring, and she and Jane had moved past the terrors of the case that pulled them back together. They had moved past fears that pushed them apart, but Maura needed to know that it wasn’t superficial.

“Ready to call it a day?” she asked. She was fully prepared to go to the bar with Jane, to share a beer or two over food that was too greasy, too heavy, and finally to return to Jane’s apartment. Maura wanted her to be in her comfort zone.

Jane’s smile didn’t fade, though she could feel several sets of eyes look up from their paperwork to actively eavesdrop on her reply. “I think so.” She ran her fingers through her casually tangled hair, voice dropping just a little, “You look nice, did you have something in mind?”

“Nothing special,” Maura replied. Her smile persisted even though her mood dropped every so slightly at the way Jane lowered her voice. She knew it was habit, it was self preservation. Just as she wouldn’t tell Jane how absolutely enticing she looked running her fingers through her hair there in the squad room, Jane wouldn’t tell her she looked nice and ask what their plans were. But somehow, the two did not seem proportionate. “I thought we could have something to eat at the bar and go back to your place,” she finished, voice equally as low out of respect to Jane. It was not a proposition she ever offered herself, as the pub was generally Jane’s suggestion…a suggestion they both knew Maura tolerated.

Jane raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, then shrugged, mostly to push away any lingering doubts, “Sure, actually the guys are going for a few beers tonight…maybe they’ll catch up.” That she was more than amenable to the second half of Maura’s offer went unspoken.

“Great.” Maura’s smile brightened genuinely and she did not try to hide it as she stepped away from the brunette’s desk. There were little habits that neither of them would ever be able to break. Jane wouldn’t let her vulnerabilities show to the other detectives she worked with, and Maura wasn’t asking her to. But she needed to know that those things were not still casting shadows over what they had.

The bar was crowded as usual for a Friday, but Jane had still found an open booth waiting. Maura had contained herself even, not commenting on the health risks associated with fried food when Jane ordered the onion rings, and soon they were laughing, letting go of the week. Jane sat back, still chuckling as she finished the anecdote, “And by the time Frost realized we’d changed the files on him, he was already halfway out the door! I thought Korsak was gonna have a coronary right there from laughing.”

As Maura leaned forward, hand wrapped around her almost empty beer bottle, she smiled softly, chuckling. “You two are too hard on him…he’s incredibly capable, you know… He’s even getting past his issues with corpses.” She shifted as several of Jane’s colleagues along with a few other people began to filter into the bar. “I think,” she said, turning her attention back to Jane as she plucked the last onion ring from her basket and examined it before taking a bite to go with the last of her beer, “I’m finished here…” She knew she needn’t go on.

“What? No seconds?” Jane teased, and waived for the check. Maura moved to pay, but Jane slapped her fingers away lightly, “No way. This place I can actually afford.” She smiled, and stood a few moments later.

The bar was gathering a crowd as it got later, and the last minutes of the Celtics game was drawing most of the attention. So much so, that Frost nearly spilled his drink all over her in an effort to back toward a table without looking away. “Oh, shit, sorry Jane!” He steadied himself, and only then glanced over at Maura, “Hey, Doc…” He saw their coats in hand, “You guys leaving already?” Jane caught the implication in his tone, but it wasn’t accusing, and she just smiled and reached for Maura’s hand. It still felt strange, but not forced, “Yeah, I think we are.” Her fingers tightened a little around Maura’s, and she laughed. “They’ll never pull this game back in ten minutes anyway.”

At the deliberateness of the touch, Maura felt her stomach tighten into a pleasant knot. This wasn’t the symphony or a new restaurant that Maura had picked. This was one of Jane’s homes away from home, these were the people they worked with every day, the people that Jane shared a great deal of her time with. And this was the first time that she had so publicly acknowledged that Maura’s part in that was more than simply ‘work.’ It was subtle, but it was so meaningful that Maura was moved nearly to speechlessness.

“You sure you can’t stay for a drink?” Frost was asking. “I hear Korsak’s got the next round, and I’m going to take advantage of that.” Maura flashed a smile as Korsak turned their way and she shook her head as she tightened her grip on Jane’s hand.

“Maybe next time.”

Jane nodded, shoving Frost playfully on the shoulder, “Yeah, I think we’re out, but tell Korsak you can have mine.” A few smiles and passing greetings later, and they were stepping into the brisk night air. Jane was almost surprised at how easy it had been, and tried to pretend the guys weren’t talking about them already. Somehow though, she didn’t really care. “So,” she said smiling at Maura, “Can I take you home?”

Even as she said it, a slight flush crept across Maura’s cheeks. It was not that she was embarrassed or hesitant; it was merely that she did not have to speak in hushed tones so no one else might hear the wrong word or two. “If it’s home with you.” She ran her thumb over the back of Jane’s hand and she couldn’t help but breaking into a broad, almost absurd smile.

Though she was feeling the same pleasant anticipation, Jane cut the moment with a laugh as she started toward her apartment. “Well I sure hope it’s not with anyone else.”

Maura laughed along with her, and they were still laughing, she realized, as they walked up the stairs to Jane’s apartment and Maura explained how the steps seemed more laborious because they were built before there were standards for floor levels and not placed in intervals of seven. As she went on, it seemed to be becoming a treatise, and even Maura could not help but laugh at herself with Jane. She wondered when she had become so comfortable with Jane’s habit of not taking her completely seriously. It felt good; it also felt good to walk into Jane’s apartment hand in hand, to be greeted by Jo as if she had not seen Maura there earlier that day. As Jane closed the door, Maura saw the candles she had put out and laughed lightly. “I was supposed to make you wait outside.”

Jane glanced around the apartment, at the additions so obviously not there when she had left for work in the morning. There were flowers, candles, champagne flutes that definitely weren’t hers, and she could imagine what else there might be chilling in the fridge. It all looked so charmingly out of place that she couldn’t help but smile. The gesture was something she’d hardly have thought of to do herself, and that fact alone was what made Maura’s effort seem all the more thoughtful. Still, she had no idea what the appropriate response was to such a moment, so Jane defaulted to closing the door, and gathering Maura in her arms. She leaned down and kissed her, then laughed quietly. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble to get me into bed, you know.”

“I know.” Maura leaned back in Jane’s arms as she surveyed the room again. She enjoyed little romantic touches, even if they were unnecessary, but now this seemed comically excessive. “I was worried…” she softly, biting her bottom lip as her eyes found Jane’s again.

Jane cocked her head to the side, and quietly took Maura’s chin in her fingers, “What about?”

“I thought…” Maura took in a deep breath, comforted by the certainty of Jane’s touch. She saw her own reflection in the brunette’s dark eyes and realized how uncertain she looked when she knew she no longer needed to be uncertain. “I wanted to talk, and I did all of this because I was worried…oh, Jane…” She laughed, half in delight as she drew Jane into a tighter embrace. “It doesn’t matter. I was afraid of the chance that you might leave me again, but now I know…”

She started, still confused, “What? I why would you be thinking that..” Realization came a moment later, “Oh. Oh…Maura, it’s okay, I…I shouldn’t have done that then, and I won’t do it now.” Her tone was steady and sure out of habit, though she now knew it was true. Jane smiled and kissed Maura’s forehead. “And thank you for all this, I’m looking forward to finding out what you have planned for those glasses over there.” She wasn’t sure how much patience she had for much of anything that didn’t involve going to bed, but when Maura had a plan, Jane had learned it was best to let her carry it out.

“Well…” Maura looked toward the fridge. She’d taken her lunch to bring everything over even though she’d bought it all the night before. Each step had been carefully planned, even her anticipation of Jane’s reactions, one way or the other. But now, it all felt gratuitous. She had Jane’s firm body against hers, and she had the assurances that she found she had so desperately and surprisingly wanted for a while. “I think the champagne will be perfect,” she murmured before kissing Jane deeply, “for mimosas in the morning…and we can have the caviar with eggs…”

When the kiss broke, Jane moaned, only just registering as Maura started backing toward the bedroom, “Mmmn…you sure?” She could tell Maura was changing her plans, but Jane was fast losing the ability to protest.

There was absolutely no hesitation before Maura nodded. She barely blinked when, upon pulling Jane on top of her onto the bed they scattered a row of unlit tealights. “Very sure,” she breathed between heavy kisses as she pushed Jane’s jacket off and her hands under the brunette’s shirt.

Jane’s voice dropped to a near growl, and her breath hitched at Maura’s fingers tracing eagerly at her skin, “Good.” She could hear the candles scattering and only really caught sight of the roses by the side of the bed as she sat up to help Maura tug off her shirt. Her skin flushed, and she reached for Maura’s clothes, needing desperately to feel their skin together.

If she said she hadn’t planned to be wearing a dress that was so easily removed in one tug, Maura would be lying. She knew, though, that the thought she put into such things was only apparent to Jane in a cursory way. Without letting Jane undo her own pants, Maura pulled her down and into another kiss. “Your strap on is in the drawer of the bedside table,” she whispered, nipping hard at Jane’s earlobe. It had been another touch meant to make Jane feel in control, but now it was simply what Maura craved and what she knew Jane wouldn’t turn down.

Pausing for only a moment to wonder at Maura’s foresight, Jane wasn’t about to let the wonderful urgency of the mood change. Maura’s dress was discarded, along with her panties and bra, on the floor, and Jane smiled as she reached for the drawer. If there was something more enticing than taking Maura, it was Maura asking to be taken. A quick moment later, and Jane was kissing back up the blonde’s perfect skin, parting her legs and settling between them. She let out a moan under her breath as Maura’s back arched when she pushed into her the first time.

“Yes,” Maura gasped at the first. But she let words become moans, each more urgent than the last as Jane pushed into her with deliberateness that would not afford hesitation. She pressed her fingertips into Jane’s hips and kissed her hair, breathing in its scent, as Jane kissed and nipped at her collarbones, her breasts. Their bodies become deliciously drenched in sweat, and Maura let one of her hands fall between them, nimble fingers catching and circling her own clit until she shuddered with her orgasm.

“Yes…” Jane mirrored Maura’s moans and held her tightly for a few long moments. They were both shaking lightly- Maura from the last waves of pleasure, and Jane from the exertion. The silence was filled only by their slowing breath, and Jane ran her fingers through Maura’s silky hair.

“Jane,” Maura whispered, a smile on her lips. She kissed her cheek softly, but that kiss led to others, trailing down Jane’s jaw. There was no urgency when Maura shifted, gently prodding Jane until she rolled onto her back, and for a moment, Maura simply lay at her side looking down, captured by her unassuming beauty. But she knew Jane was not as content as she, and she quickly moved to take off the harness, slipping to her knees between Jane’s legs. “Mm,” she intoned as she ran her hands up Jane’s thighs, stopping just as her fingers brushed the coarse curls between them.

“God…” Jane’s voice trailed off into a moan, and soon she felt Maura’s warm breath on her skin, and her tongue soon followed. It wasn’t long before the touch was more intense, and she twisted the sheets in her fingers desperately as Maura pushed her towards the edge.

Maura didn’t dare break the contact for a moment. She knew Jane; she knew the subtleties of her body, and she pushed her fingers slowly into her and curled them back, she knew it would only be another moment. And as she felt Jane tense and release, shuddering in her climax, she savored her taste while she pushed her through it.

Jane released her hold on the sheets and tangled her fingers in Maura’s hair, drawing her up into a long kiss. She breathed deeply, wrapping her long arms around Maura’s slender but soft body. The room was still pleasantly spinning around her, and Jane broke the kiss, “I love you…” The words focused her at once, but she didn’t want to take them back.

As she closed her eyes, Maura let her breath fall into rhythm with the sound of Jane’s heartbeat, and she found every comfort in that, in Jane’s warmth, just as she found comfort in the absolute surety of the way Jane spoke the words more than the words themselves. “I love you too,” she whispered, finally able to reconcile herself to the component of that that was not biological, that was not immediate and easy for her to categorize.

~ ~ ~