RIZZOLI & ISLES

Once Realized…

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Title: Once Realized…

Author: cleo2584 and future_imp47

Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles

Pairing(s): Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles

Rating: NC–17

Summary: Between work and other interests, it takes Maura an unusual route to find out what she really wants.

Word Count: 6,779

A/N: Josie Pulcillo makes an extended appearance in The Keepsake; however, having read that book or any of the Rizzoli and Isles book series isn’t essential to the fic. Also, a sequel to …From a Beginning’s End and Interruptions

Full text also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/103644/chapters/142429

Once Realized…

cleo2584 and future_imp47

Maura smiled brightly as she leaned against her desk, gripping the edges lightly with her hands. “…and I’d call it a stroke of luck but you and I both know it was your hard work that you actually found the Nedjem block statues. You know you really didn’t have to let me see the exhibit before it opened but…” The smile turned into a slightly conspiratorial grin. “Well, it was fun now that the museum is getting more of a steady stream of visitors.”

She regarded Josie for a moment, noting how relaxed she looked, how excited she had seemed earlier. It was more like the first time they had met than most of the times they had come into contact afterward, and Maura was again struck by her beauty and the way Josie seemed completely oblivious to it because there were so many other interesting things to think about, things Maura knew so little about by comparison. “It’s good to see that the quartzite held up to the improper storage,” she finished brightly.

The museum had once been an all too gloomy reminder of the loneliness Maura sometimes felt in Boston. And after the case, it was difficult not to see it with some sort of stigma around it. There was talk that it would close until it merely became absorbed by a larger group with the money to run it and the nature to capitalize on the things that had happened there. And yet Josephine had stayed, which Maura found curious until Josie had called her in, asking for her opinion a set of fossilized remains. It was an opinion that Maura could only partially give as a professional, but she had been glad to be asked, glad to connect with Josie again. And slowly, through the museum, she found herself seeking to spend a little more time with the brunette.

They had had conversations in draft exhibits, in the treasure filled basement, and even lingering in Josie’s small office. And it only seemed natural that Maura found herself continuing one in her own office with Josie just then.

“I know, we really did get lucky with that. It’s been amazing what all we’ve been able to recover now.” Josie’s enthusiasm was obvious. She smiled, her almost severe features softening as she did so. Dr. Isles’s comfort with the technical and appreciation the beauty in detail had drawn Josie to her company. She had been the first person the young scientist had thought of when the new display had been finished, and she’d enjoyed sharing it with her.

Their visits had always been too short, though, and driven by purpose even when they chatted. It had been refreshing to just be able to talk to someone new—someone she could both trust and who would understand her. Maura wasn’t someone she met every day, and her complexities and intellect had led to a quiet crush she wouldn’t deny, though she really didn’t expect the blonde to reciprocate. Still, there was no hurt in a little dreaming. Josie leaned forward just slightly, dark eyes glinting knowingly as she filled in words for Maura. “And you’re welcome.”

“And really, the lighting was perfect,” Maura continued, cocking her head as she recalled the details. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have an eye for museum display; I know you’re just getting started but…” She put her hand on Josie’s arm for a brief moment. There were very few people Maura felt she could be warm with, but she knew a kindred spirit. “They’re lucky to have you.”

Josie blushed just slightly, “Thanks, really.” She knew she should let Maura get back to her work but paused before turning to leave, “I don’t know if you’re busy, but would you like to get coffee sometime? This weekend?” It was an innocent enough overture, and Josie genuinely enjoyed Dr. Isle’s company, no matter how simple.

“I’d love to,” Maura replied without hesitation. The conversation promised to be interesting, and she so often found herself alone. But Maura did not think she was imagining interest beyond that, and such a pursuit, she told herself, might not be a waste. “Let me just make sure I’m not on call…” She turned to her computer, turning her back to Josie.

“Hey, Maura I had a thought on the Fenway case and…” Jane was already talking as she strode into the room. She’d been so caught up in her line of thought that the sight of Josephine stopped her short. She thought she could feel something in the air and glanced between the two women.

From the day she’d met her, Josephine made Jane uneasy. And even though the truth about her past had been brought to light, Jane couldn’t completely shake it. Maybe it was her beauty or her quick mind, or maybe just the way she felt Maura could understand her in a way Jane couldn’t, but it all resulted in the brunette crossing her arms defensively before continuing. “Oh, I didn’t realize…anyway…how tall did you say the perp would have had to have been?” Her words were short, and even more direct than usual.

Maura straightened and pulled on her lab coat out of habit. She smiled apologetically to Josie as she directed her attention to Jane. The brunette’s abrupt shift, the tightening of the muscles in her jaw did not escape Maura’s notice. And she had seen it from Jane before with Josie. “How about Saturday afternoon?” she suggested before she nodded to Jane, acknowledging her. Maura rummaged through the files on her desk, not willing to give Jane the detail with someone else there. When she found it, she flipped it open, murmuring, “Ah, yes…” before handing it to Jane.

Josie smiled quietly, sensing it was time to make her exit. “That sounds perfect.” She took a step back toward the door, “I’ll…give you a call.” Josie turned to Rizzoli quickly. “Good to see you again, Detective.” She nodded before making a somewhat hasty exit.

“Yeah, you too,” Jane muttered, reaching for the file as Josie slipped out. She knew if she wanted, Maura would just tell her what their visit had been about, but Jane almost didn’t want to hear the answer. “Thanks, I’ll bring this back later.” Usually she’d sit and read it in Maura’s office, usually she’d be the one asking about coffee, but for some reason Jane just wanted to leave. She tucked the papers under her arm. “We still have the autopsy tomorrow at nine? I should tell Frost to hold off on breakfast?”

“And the coffee,” Maura replied. She cocked her head slightly, trying to gauge what she could of Jane’s hurry. The brunette had seemed poised to follow one of their simple routines, and obviously Josephine’s presence had disrupted that. What’s more, Maura was entirely sure if she could put her finger on why Jane’s mood seemed to persist past Josie’s exit. Obvious answers seemed too obvious, and as things had been somewhat less awkward—admittedly due to a spike in how busy their schedules had been—since their last intimate encounter, Maura was reluctant to guess that some sort of jealousy had something to do with it. Jane bristled at Josie, she had seen that much before. “But you can bring me a cup,” she added, flashing a smile.

“Oh, yeah of course.” Jane smiled quickly. “See you then.” She turned on her heel, stomach sinking at how badly she was behaving, but not knowing what to do about it. She couldn’t tell Maura not to talk to Josie. She didn’t have any reason to think she could. And Josie was just one of those people who never had to try to catch people’s eye. What’s more, when she and Maura were together, Jane needed both a dictionary and a thesaurus to keep up. It was no great surprise really that they’d get closer– it made sense. Without another word, Jane closed the door behind her. There was a stack of reports already on her desk she was ready to bury herself in for the night.

Chapter 2

As the wind practically blew her inside, Maura took care not to let the door slam too loudly. She took a moment for a breath and to arrange her hair, smoothing back the wild half curls and somehow managing to make the windblown strands look intentional. And that was when she saw Josephine waiting for her, a slight smile lighting her often somber face. Maura found herself smiling too. She had been looking forward to this since the last talked, and in doing so, she had tried her best to ignore a slight nagging feeling brought by the memories of brusque comments and tense moments with Jane leading up to it. “You’re early.” Maura knew she was on time more than she knew just how blunt she could be. But she was smiling as she slid into the chair opposite the brunette.

“I figured you wouldn’t keep me waiting long.” Josie smiled across the table. If it was in her nature to be nervous she would have been in the moment, but life had pushed her past that. “I recommend the Kona. It’s not a blend like most places.”

“I’ll try it, then. And let me get you a fresh cup.” When Maura returned, two steaming mugs in her hands, she was smiling more brightly. The day was beautiful, and it was actually pleasant, she realized, to sometimes share that with someone else. “Jane likes to say that coffee is coffee, but when I actually get the chance to sit down and enjoy it,” she said, pausing a moment to simply enjoy the aroma, “I remember that that’s not always the case.”

Josie took the offered mug, “Thanks. And just like anything, there are variations if you take the time to look. There’s just something about this type…maybe I just like to imagine the quiet hillsides where it comes from—could just be a mental association.” She took a tentative sip. “But either way I look forward to getting a chance to stop by here.” Josie put down the cup and tucked a strand of her raven hair behind her ear. “Have you ever been? To Kona I mean.”

“I haven’t, Maura replied.” But she thought she could easily imagine Josie there. There was a look of serenity that crossed the brunette’s young face that suited her but was still not well worn. She sipped the dark coffee and savored it’s taste, imagining where it had come from as she pulled apart its flavors. “Mmm…cherry flavors…not over roasted either.” Maura smiled. “It’s nice. Have you done much traveling? I love it, but with this job…well, it’s difficult when it isn’t work related.”

“Traveling—not as much as I’d like, running—far too much.” She didn’t need to explain too much more, it had all come out so recently. Instead she laughed quietly, seeing the blonde’s face fall slightly in an effort not cringe at having asked an innocent question that she should have remembered would lead to other places. “I hope you get a chance to go places without dead bodies now and then.” Josie could just imagine Dr. Isles as the only living person to inhabit the city morgue day in and day out, and it made her wonder what kept her going. It was true that Josie lived in the past, surrounded by things many, many times older than she was, and that was hard enough for some people to understand.

“On the contrary, I really wish I could go to more places because of dead bodies…scientifically speaking, of course.” Maura’s voice was cheerful. She enjoyed conferences and other things relating to her work. But being party to extra curricular findings would be a treat. And she consciously made the effort to continue to shift away from Josie’s past, knowing that it was still fresh, that she was trying to move on. “There are so many things I haven’t seen that I’d like to…” She laughed lightly and met the brunette’s soft eyes. “Jane and I can never quite agree on just what should be done with the vacation time we do get. I want to go to the catacombs in Rome, and she…” She waved the rest off, conscious suddenly of the way Jane had hurried out when she found Josie in her office that day. “You’ll get to do more of the things you want now…and with a clear head. But there’s so much to see here too.”

At the second mention of Detective Rizzoli, Josie took notice. It made sense, she guessed; they did seem to spend a lot of time on cases together, and it was obvious that they were good friends. Now, however, she wondered if there was more. Josie could tell Maura wanted to continue, so Josie let her, smiling though something in her was sinking, “And were does Jane want to go then?”

“To be honest,” Maura replied, not thinking much of the question, “I think she’s happiest right here. This is her home and it’s…well…” She smiled as she thought about the city, about its history and its people. “It’s her.” But she frowned lightly when she realized that she was hardly speaking with clarity. It was difficult to pin down precise words when describing what Jane wanted, when describing Jane. She looked up to Josie with her dark, intelligent eyes and her nearly exotic beauty. The attraction was obvious, and Maura blushed slightly. “Should I get more coffee?”

Josie smiled, though it wasn’t as bright as it had been earlier though she hid it well. The mood was shifting, and even if Maura couldn’t tell yet, Josie could. Maybe she was wiser than her years, but sometimes she wished she wasn’t. “Sure, why don’t you let me?” She stood and took Maura’s mug.

She would have liked to have not–so–causally leaned closer, maybe brushed against the woman’s silky hair, but Josie simply stepped away to the counter. Maura was still a fascinating woman, and she hoped, she would become a good friend. Returning, she took her seat again. “There are so many things I’d ask about your work, but I know you can’t tell me. So maybe I should ask about you instead.”

“Oh…” Maura shifted. She was not overly uncomfortable, but it was not a subject that she discussed very much with anyone. Work was easy, safe. And the things she did and read, the facts that she accumulated and took comfort in were safe too. But there was something more intimate about this. Josie was sharp—Maura liked that, but she found herself a little off balance. She smiled, wrapping her hands around the cup. “Well, you already know that I’m an ME with a penchant for the lure of archeology and anthropology…”

Josie sipped her coffee and sat back, smiling. “I do, and I know you could probably tell me the chemical make–up of the tabletop.” The dark–haired girl grinned quietly as she continued, “But so could I.” It was easier to pry now, now that she was speaking to a friend. “But, you’ve all but told me Jane’s life history and not even where you’re from.”

“Have I?” Maura laughed nervously as she ran her fingers through her hair. She felt a slight flush in her cheeks, and while the heat of the coffee might have been easy to blame, Maura was not one to make up excuses. “It really is interesting what one can learn about a person one works with…that isn’t even related to the job… I mean…I’m sure you’ve been through that, though.” And that didn’t come out exactly as Maura had intended. She had no idea how hard it must have been for Josie to hide things, to lie, to make lies and stories her truths. “I’m…sorry,” she said, shaking her head and half smiling as she glanced down into her full cup. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

Josie just smiled knowingly, watching the usually composed woman trip over her words. “Maura…” She put down her mug and covered one of Maura’s hands with her own. It was her first real contact with the woman, but Josie’s eyes were quiet, comforting. “I think you should talk to her.”

The touch was what stopped Maura from speaking, but her thoughts were still running, moving to actually answer Josie’s question. People…people made things difficult, and it was only easy with Jane because she was so familiar. It was easy with Josie when it was the things they both knew and loved. Now, she blinked. “I’m…excuse me?”

“Jane.” Josie’s voice was level but warm. She hid disappointment well. “I think you need to talk to her about whatever is going on. And I don’t mean about your cases.” She removed her hand and then smiled, trying to keep the mood light enough.

“No, you’re right,” Maura replied, laughing lightly. She didn’t elaborate on what was going on. Jane had tried to talk to her, and talking was the last thing Maura wanted to do. It was still the last thing she wanted to do. Simply reacting, letting her body do what it wanted, letting the chemical processes run their course until the next time it was necessary was the easiest thing. Negotiating the rest, she was afraid, would take more energy and skill than she had. Negotiating this moment with Josie—a beautiful woman with whom she would not mind sharing such delights—was the same. Maura had never been good with her own feelings beyond letting the strong ones come out only when necessary, and now she had to question why her mind kept wandering back to Jane Rizzoli when Josie was sitting so patiently in front of her. “We should do this again.” And it was clear that it would be easier the next time, that it would be strictly between friends.

“We should…whenever you want to.” Josie finished her coffee and stood, letting Maura know she meant it. “And I’ll let you know when we open the new hall on the third floor, I think you’ll be interested in the artifacts from the Qin Dynasty.”

“I would…I really would.” Maura’s smile was genuine as she rose with Josie. She didn’t feel the outing had been entirely a success in so many ways, and she knew she would analyze it later as she tried to think of something other than Jane, of what Jane felt like in her arms… But she was glad to know that they could part this way, with the promise of the companionship of like minds in the future. And after they said their goodbyes, Maura sat back down, sighing softly. She and Josie might have been a good match, and now she wasn’t quite sure what her next step should be, other than finishing her planned tasks for the day and preparing for work on Monday with full knowledge that she could be called in any time between then.

Chapter 3

The bar was not completely within Maura’s comfort level. The wines they offered were mediocre but unassuming, and she had never quite settled in with the warm, worn decor and the crowd of law enforcement officials that frequented it. Her place there was merely by invitation, and that night, she had not been invited. As she opened the door, the scene she glimpsed could have been one straight from television. Jane was laughing unreservedly along with Frost and a group of cops sitting around too small a table, empty bottles between them. Maura paused for a moment, realizing that she was stopping to admire the way Jane’s body was thrown open, relaxed; it could not have been easy to get to that point. She thought of Josie at the coffee table, smiling leaning forward, how easy it should have been. And as she approached, the laughter turned to stillness, a brief silent moment followed by soft buzz as happens when an outsider makes her presence known. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, trying to find casual cheerfulness and managing it better than she realized.

“Dr. Isles, hey!” Barry Frost was the first to greet her, and he flashed a warm smile. Before he could get much further than that, Jane had pulled herself together and glanced up at Maura, still dangling her beer bottle from her long fingers.

“What are you doing here?” The comment might have come off more brusque than she meant it, but Jane hadn’t been expecting to see Maura outside of work, and her presence was making the brunette’s pulse speed unexpectedly. Vulnerability and a table of half–drunk cops didn’t go together.

Maura offered Frost a smile that was almost apologetic as his expression became slightly bewildered at Jane’s response. He was still trying to understand his new partner, as well as negotiate his new position, and she could not help but admire the way he simply pushed on. But she quickly turned her attention to Jane. This was her element, her place, and Maura had come as a way of conceding to that. But she could not continue there, in that company. “Detective, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Jane glanced around the table as she put her beer down, as if trying to imply that she was being dragged away from the fun. “Yeah, sure.” Her chair scraped on the wooden floor as she stood. She could see a few raised eyebrows around the table but she just shrugged. “The boy scout owes me for the drinks anyway.” Jane grinned at Frost, tossing a crumpled napkin at him as she went. She could still hear a few murmurs as she walked after Maura, but they wouldn’t go far.

As she led her to a far corner of the bar, Maura focused on the sound of Jane’s footsteps. They were heavy, self–assured. It was easy to simply say they were discussing some detail of a case; their work spilled into their lives every day. And Maura kept her face impassive with some effort. “I thought we should talk,” she said as she slid into a booth and folded her hands in her lap. Hadn’t that been what Jane wanted, what she so easily brushed away? There was no need to talk when taking your pleasure was simple.

As she slid into the booth across from Maura, Jane’s face fell slightly. She should have seen this coming—it generally did, but this time it hurt more. Maura was a friend and one Jane cared about more than most. She was preparing herself to hear however Maura was about to try and say ‘you’re really great and you’re a good friend, but I’m choosing the prettier, smarter girl.’ It wouldn’t be the first time. Jane took a breath, making herself look at Maura, and wished she’d brought her drink with her. “Yeah, okay, I guess we should.”

“It…doesn’t have to be here,” Maura said quickly as she saw the way Jane’s face changed. Even her office was more private than this, but they were alone in their corner. Maura knew how to look for answers, how to find things she expected from reading signs. She did it every day. But signs from the dead were much easier to read than signs from the living. And it was difficult to be precise when merely the sight of Jane sitting across from her made her breath quicken was anticipation and worry.

“Nah, I’m fine.” Jane leaned back, trying to appear casual, but the sound of the leather creaking underneath her seemed too loud and her shoes seemed to dig into the scraped floor.

“Josie bothers you…” It was not the way Maura had intended to start, but she had seen the same kind of look on Jane’s face that afternoon in her office. She took another breath, all at once becoming composed again. “She shouldn’t.”

It wasn’t what Jane was expecting, and she glanced questioningly at Maura. “I…no…of course she doesn’t…just…” She shook her head, trying to clear it, “I mean…what?” Jane wanted to just drop her forehead on the table, but she was all too aware of how many eyes there were in the room, even if they had ceased looking at her or Maura.

“No…it’s okay…” Maura reached out and touched Jane’s arm lightly as if to reassure her. She was feeling more reassured now as she went on, “It’s a natural response when one feels threatened on multiple levels to take issue with the offending party. Animals do it in various ways…and men…we’re no different.”

Jane was fairly certain that Maura had just called her an animal, and coming from anyone else it would have been an insult. She just smiled quietly and tentatively shook her head, starting to work through Maura’s technical explanation to see what she might be trying to say. “So, Dr. Isles, you’re tellin’ me my natural instincts are unfounded?”

A bright smile came to Maura’s face as she leaned back slightly in relief. “Well…yes,” she replied matter of factly. Maura had not felt the need to explain what Jane had witnessed between Josie and her, but she was beginning to realize that though Jane wouldn’t say it, she needed to hear it. “Josephine and I are friends…nothing more. And I realize I must have been mistaken when I thought you might be content with simple and uncomplicated sex.” It was neither of which, Maura knew, no matter how much she wanted to believe that. Josie had seen her growing attachment to Jane immediately, when she could not.

Jane blushed at Maura’s direct–as–always approach. She let out a long breath and just looked at the woman across from her for a moment. She was still letting the fact that she wasn’t be preemptively dumped sink in and just laughed quietly, “I don’t think sex is ever simple, Maura. And I don’t want it to be.” Especially not with Maura, even if it never happened again.

Maura blinked and in the silence that followed, the air become considerably thicker between the two of them. A chorus of laughter from across the room brought her thoughts away, shattering any serenity she was close to approaching. Josie had urged her to talk to Jane, and now she was at a loss for words. “Jane, can we go?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jane was trying to read Maura’s expression, hoping she hadn’t said the wrong thing. She stood and moved toward the door, feeling the other woman behind her, following closely. Jane knew her exit wouldn’t go unnoticed, but she doubted if anyone would really think twice.

“I’d like to go somewhere quiet,” Maura said softly. She was walking close enough to catch the scent of Jane’s shampoo. Jane’s apartment or her house…it didn’t matter, but Maura was directing her steps to her car. She realized how much she compartmentalized her life. How easy it was to analyze, to make every step through consideration and logic with her work and with all of the things she wanted to hold at a distance or push away. And when there was something that she wanted to pull close, she simply did, leaving stolen moments and the almost ashamed memories of heat, of letting go. There was nothing she was ashamed of with those moments with Jane. But like the past, she had be so sure that she could only have them in reserve, between stretches filled with things she strove to make meaningful, that she had not allowed herself to see the possibility of more.

“Me too.” Jane slid into the car, letting Maura choose where she took them. She was still trying to see where the night was going, and from the blonde’s silence, Jane could tell Maura was, in her own way, doing the same.

Maura was quiet. She had always taken comfort in that, but she was as aware of Jane’s shifting as she was the passing streetlights. Her anticipation was building too. Perhaps she had not said as much as she should have. There was more to say, but not just then, not with Boston or the night passing by outside of the windows. She parked on the street near Jane’s apartment, taking her time with the careful diligence of one not raised in such a city. Jane sided with her as she locked the car and looked up, as if only just realizing where she had taken them. Their hands brushed together once as they walked into the building, and Maura felt herself suppress a flinch at what she perceived to heat that could not be explained.

Not simple…nothing about Maura Isles was ever simple. Jane was starting to sweat slightly by the time they reached her floor of the walk–up building. Maura never looked quite right in her simple apartment, and once inside Jane looked around. “I…can I get you anything? Something to drink?” Not that Jane had any idea if she could even make good on the offer, she hadn’t been expecting anything like this tonight.

“I’m fine, really.” Maura glanced around, noting the familiar touches, the things that made the place Jane’s. She wondered how her own home looked by comparison with its careful but guarded decorating. She turned to Jane just as she realized she’d been clutching her bag too tightly. “Jane…what we’ve been doing…” She shook her head, buying time for thought as she slid the bag onto the counter. “I don’t take our friendship lightly.”

“Me either Maura, but I think you know that.” Jane opened the refrigerator, relieved to see one of the few things she did have was beer. She pulled one out and opened it. It wasn’t that she really needed the effects; it was more or less a way to try and appear casual. Jane recrossed the room and sat on the couch, motioning for Maura to join her. She started to peel the label from the bottle out of habit. Maura was so close, but Jane was scared to do the wrong thing.

“It’s…that…” Maura put her hand on Jane’s, feeling the warmth of her skin, “it’s a nervous tick. Popular psychology likes to call it a sign of sexual frustration, but really it’s an…embodied compulsion…” She blushed lightly as she took the bottle from Jane’s hand, smiling before she took a sip and handed it back. “I know that, Jane. But I think…you want more than that.”

Finally, Jane couldn’t help herself, and rolled her eyes. “Maura, you’ve got to stop diagnosing your…just, anyway…” She blushed, and finally couldn’t stand the tension any longer. Jane slipped her hand around the back of Maura’s neck, breath catching as her fingers ran through soft hair. She met no resistance as she pulled the blonde into a kiss. It was tentative at first but lingered, and Jane closed her eyes, just feeling Maura’s lips on hers again.

Maura closed her eyes as well, leaning into the touch as she finally felt something completely natural that night. She gently took the bottle from Jane’s fingers and put it aside, moving slowly, letting the moment linger, letting the kiss continue to linger until she was forced to pull away. Her eyes were clear as she looked at Jane, a thin smile on her face. “Is there anything else we need to say?” she asked, breath catching.

Jane was breathing harder, and had to stop herself from reaching for Maura’s clothes. “I…don’t think so. Unless you have any further diagnosis for my present condition?” Jane managed a slight smirk.

“Rapid breathing,” Maura murmured softly as she kissed Jane’s lips. She took each of Jane’s hands, kissing the pulse points at her wrists in turn. “Increased pulse…dilated pupils…” She raked her fingers through Jane’s hair, letting them catch on the tangles and pull slightly until they were free. Maura was pushing Jane back, kissing her forcefully, unable to wait any longer as she realized she had been waiting, had been depriving herself far too much.

Maura was insistent, and Jane had little choice but to let her do as she needed. The blonde’s touch was sure and firm, but not frantic like she had felt it before. Jane ran her hands over the other woman’s back. Maura’s lips moved to her neck, and Jane bit back a moan.

Jane’s fingers were long, nimble. She pressed into the touch, encouraging it, asking silently for Jane to continue, for Jane not to hold back. She kissed down, nipping at the last of Jane’s skin before moving her lips over the fabric of her shirt, teasing her with the promise of more without withholding for long. Maura managed to get Jane’s shirt off, to get her palms on her warm skin and to enjoy the detail with more leisure than she had their first time together. She wanted Jane to moan, not to hold it back, not to hold anything back. And as she unhooked her bra, sliding it off, she was smirking.

Jane shivered as the air hit her skin. Maura moving over her was driving her pulse still higher, and something else was starting to push her. Like the first time, Jane again caught Maura’s wrists, but this time she smiled more surely. “I’m taking you to bed now.” This time it wasn’t a request, and Jane was almost surprised to see Maura’s color rise immediately.

Maura’s chest heaved lightly in the silence. She could feel her pulse beating against Jane’s fingers, and she let the moment hang, building as she looked into the brunette’s dark eyes. The color that continued to rise in her cheeks was a flush of readiness, of anticipation, and she quietly moved back, acknowledging Jane’s statement with her physical acquiescence. This time, when Jane released her hold, Maura stood and stepped back to wait, acknowledging that it was Jane who would lead them there, that it was Jane she wanted to follow. Her blood was rushing in her ears, her lips curling into a slight smile, though she didn’t know it. She wanted to pull Jane into a kiss, to tell her that they didn’t have to wait as long as the extra steps too, but it was precisely that waiting that Maura wanted. And each of Jane’s steps as she followed her into the small bedroom made another thrill pulse through her body as she anticipated the driving force of what would come next.

If Jane hadn’t felt as confident as she sounded, her insecurities faded further with Maura’s obvious need, enjoyment. Jane tried not to rush, and her fingers were shaking quietly as she fumbled for the zip of Maura’s dress. When Jane found it, Maura sighed softly at the feeling of the fabric opening, at the way Jane’s fingertips brushed against her spine every so often. And the sound of the fabric falling to the floor was pleasant. She could not remember a recent time when she had not done this in her own home, and something about being in Jane’s space––her initial peace offering––now made it all the more exciting. She waited for a moment before turning in Jane’s arms, seeking a kiss––actively showing Jane what she wanted as she pressed her body forward forcefully.

Finally Jane did moan, just subtly under her breath. Her palms ran down from Maura’s shoulders, feeling the smooth skin and bits of lace. For a moment instinct got the better of her, and her arms tightened around Maura’s waist. The next thing Jane knew she was lifting the blonde up, and half pushing–half dropping her onto the bed.

“Jane,” Maura breathed, tasting her name, wanting to taste her skin. She pulled her closer, kissing her salty skin, flicking her tongue across her collarbones, daring to nip, to push a little harder within the bounds of Jane’s control. Maura was wet underneath her lace and resolved to letting go as she tried to pull the brunette closer.

“Yes?” Jane’s hands were moving over Maura again, and soon the last bits of clothing joined her dress on the floor. Jane slid over the other woman, kissing her way up, back to the blonde’s lips and kissing her again deeply before letting her answer further.

There was more confidence in Jane’s voice just with the one word. It was almost playful, but Maura knew the question was generally there. For as sure as she was, there were moments where Jane was still unsure. She arched her body upward, running the flats of her palms up Jane’s back before resting her fingers, hands poised until she lifted them above her head onto the pillow. “Please.”

No one had ever said that to her in such a tone before, and Jane’s breath caught. She couldn’t wait any longer to feel their skin together. She reached and unbuckled her belt, pushing it and her slacks off onto the floor before crawling after Maura onto the bed. Her lips moved immediately to kiss the blonde’s skin, pausing at each of her nipples. On instinct, Jane found herself slipping her leg between Maura’s, pressing herself on the other woman’s thigh. She was already so charged that the contact alone made her shudder.

This was what Maura wanted and so much more, there was so much more. She shuddered under Jane’s touch as she let her hands fall back to Jane’s skin, her hair. Breath coming in jagged puffs, Maura was almost frantic, but she reminded herself that she didn’t need to be, that she would not have to savor this and look elsewhere as she had before. The brunette was wet against her, and there was now more authority in her touch. The curiosity it held was still fresh thought, and as Jane kissed her again, Maura lightly nipped at her lips.

Jane held herself just over Maura, only leaning back enough that she could watch her reaction as she slid a hand lower over the blonde’s body. This time she didn’t ask, didn’t say anything, before gently pressing between her legs. And Maura moaned and pressed her fingertips into Jane’s hips, grasping at toned flesh as she squirmed. If she could have asked for this free of any attachment, she might have. But Maura realized that she had not tried to sabotage her attachment to Jane. That though it was often confusing and difficult to navigate, she had wanted it without realizing it. Since their first night together, since before that when the touch was her own.

“Yes,” she whispered, clutching Jane’s skin. “Yes…”

Jane closed her eyes and listened to Maura as she worked closer to release herself. She moved more quickly, rocking harder against the blonde, moaning under her breath.

It was intoxicating when Maura caught the scent of Jane’s arousal, the smell of her salty skin. She pressed her thigh up, meeting Jane’s force, willing her with everything she had to reach her climax as she began to touch the brunette’s breasts with careless abandon. She was so close, holding herself back for want of seeing Jane come completely undone, so she too could come undone with her. Jane swore under her breath and moaned loudly. A few hurried moments later and she was shaking, kissing Maura hard and pressing every inch of their skin together she could.

“Jane…Jane,” Maura called out, shuddering, eyes wide as she frantically found the brunette’s lips. When she finally pulled away, they were still close, panting, their pulses still racing but calming now. Maura ran her fingertips down Jane’s cooling back and felt goosebumps texture the brunette’s skin. She smiled and sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes.

Jane wrapped Maura in her arms again as the world around her swam back into focus. She let out a long breath, and was surprised to find a few tears wet her cheeks, mixing with the dampness of Maura’s light sweat on the blonde’s skin. She bit her lip, and turned her face toward the other woman’s. Maura looked so content, so beautiful, and Jane was suddenly worried at what she’d just done– that it couldn’t really last. Things like this just didn’t happen to her.

“Maura?” Jane’s voice was low, “Are you…is it all right?”

When she heard the shift in Jane’s voice, the quiet, subtle change in her body. She was slow to open her eyes, forming a picture of what she might see based upon the little clues that she could feel, hear. Even knowing what she would see did not completely prepare Maura for facing it. But as she opened her eyes, her face softened. She touched Jane’s cheek with gentle, probing fingers. As with so many times before with Jane, Maura found it difficult to find the precise words, difficult to logically match the new need in Jane’s eyes with what was appropriate.

“Yes,” she said simply, smiling. It was all right, even with everything else they would surely have to negotiate afterward and the things they would have to learn from each other. “Yes.”

~ ~ ~