Subtlety

In Wisteria Lane, two brunettes were engaged in a heated discussion. Gabrielle sat on Susan’s bench, watching as her friend tidied her garden.

“Look, I just think it’d be better coming from you. You’ve known them longer.”

“Exactly! I just can’t come out and ask something like that. Whereas, you could get away with it.”

“Excuse me?”

“In a good way. Obviously I’m not saying that you should just blurt it out…be, you know, subtle.”

“Susan, I’m not known for my subtlety.”

“This from the woman who kept her husband in the dark about her affair with the teenage gardener for God knows how long.”

“Will you get off that already? And anyway, lying isn’t the same as being subtle. My lies were huge and elaborate…anything but subtle.”

Susan stood up and rubbed a gloved hand across her forehead, leaving a huge smear of mud. Gabrielle opted not to mention it.

“OK. So it’s settled. You’ll ask them at poker tomorrow?”

“Ummm, where was I when this settling happened?”

“Gabby!” Susan wheedled. “I can’t do it. I…I…I’ll mess it up.”

Gabrielle sighed.

“OK, look, we pretty much know don’t we? We’re just looking for official confirmation. So we need a way to bring it into conversation.”

Susan’s eyes lit up.

“Oooooor…we could hint to Edie and then she’d ask and we wouldn’t have to.”

Gabrielle considered this for a second.

“No. They’re our friends. Their sex-life, or lack thereof, shouldn’t be the subject of neighbourhood gossip. Only gossip between friends.”

“Edie’s our friend…sorta.”

“Yeah, you convince yourself of that, honey, then come try convince me.”

“No, you’re right. It should come from us. So…have you thought any more about what you’ll say.”

“Nice try. I still say it should be you.”

“Maybe we should just ask them straight out. You know: ‘Bree, Lynette, are the two of you…’”

“How are you going to finish that sentence?”

“Going out? In a relationship? Lesbian life partners? I don’t know, I have no experience with this kind of thing.”

“How about ‘Look, are you two fucking or what?’”

“You were right about your lack of subtlety.”