Windmill Tilting

The world is a strange place, people are but bags of cells and fluid clinging to a rock yet the human race sees itself as so important and while they may rest at the top of the food chain and there is a perception that they are superior to all other species in terms of intellect, people are far from invincible and by no means all powerful – single celled organisms and even pathogens that aren’t technically alive can decimate populations while abnormal deposits of crystals and proteins can decimate organs or entire bodies and this doesn’t even begin to explore the fact that people rage against each other in battles that seems so pointless when Mother Nature is capable of killing so effectively and so indiscriminately. Maybe the state of the world is too much for people to contemplate, maybe that’s why although most will acknowledge the major tragedies around them their focus remains on the minutiae of their daily existence, maybe if they could shift their focus broader the world would be a better place but maybe not - perhaps to survive as a species we need to learn to survive as individuals, maybe that’s why myths and legends and fairytales survive throughout the ages, despite all the evidence to the contrary, we need to believe the world still has magic in it. She finds herself thinking a lot about fairytales lately, she knows that to many people her veneer of perfection and control makes her seem almost heartless but she still needs magic in her life and until recently she really thought she was living her own fairytale – her romance was a whirlwind one and for much of its length she truly believed she had a wonderful marriage (even if for quite a few of those years she was the only one in her family that did). Events have caused the characters in the fairytale that is her life to be recast and she has had to find herself a new knight in shining armor.

George Williams isn’t someone who would typically be cast in the role of hero but this damsel’s distress is different to most – she doesn’t him need to slay a dragon, to climb her hair or to wake her from artificial slumber – the person she needs to be rescued from is herself. She knows that he is smitten with her and that she’s probably playing with fire but she thinks it’s better to stoke these flames than the ones she has recently been igniting. He represents a distraction, someone with whom she can fill her time and that’s important because now that they have not renewed their membership to the club, there is very little in her life that doesn’t involve Lynette and that has to change. She is in danger of losing everything and if using George like a human shield will save her from herself then toying with his emotions is a small price to pay. In fact George is proving to be a wonderful edition to her life, he has caused Rex’s jealousy to raise its ugly head and the added bonus of increased attention from her husband may be enough to keep her from making any more mistakes when it comes to her relationship with Lynette. The fact that George has now fabricated the ruse of being involved with Ginger is just the icing on the cake as she can now spend long periods with him and remain above scrutiny. She has been basking in the perfection of her plan, it seemed foolproof and in no way quixotic but apparently it was not Lynette proof because somehow she finds herself sitting on the Scavo’s couch with her blonde princess’s head in her lap.

All it took was a phone call and a hint of distress in Lynette’s voice and against her better judgment she complied with Lynette’s request and crossed the street. She was met by an irate Lynette spewing a tirade of venom, mainly about Tom but at times she was also caught in the firing line and to this point she has let that slide. The vitriol gave way to tears but now even these have subsided and Lynette lies silently while Bree cards through her hair. She feels that the time has come for her to actually enter into the conversation and she tries to keep her tone light even though she knows the subject is serious, “You want to hear something ironic?” Lynette doesn’t respond but she does roll onto her back to look up at Bree. “Rex is driving himself crazy because I have made plans to spend time with George, he has all but forbidden me from seeing him but he had no problem with me going to see you in the middle of the night.”

Lynette gives a dry laugh but there is no amusement in her eyes, “Are you sleeping him?”

“Of course not, I can’t believe you would even ask that. I could barely stand it when he touched me and I did shoot the man, do you really think I’d be sleeping with him?”

“Not him,” Lynette looks at her as if she is mentally defective, “your husband.”

“We are not going to talk about that.”

“And yet you expect me to talk about my relationship with Tom.”

“Lynette you asked me to come over and I don’t expect you to talk about anything, what’s wrong with you? You haven’t been dipping into ADD medication again have you?”

“Don’t make me madder at you than I already am.”

“If you don’t want me here I can just go home,” to emphasize her point she places her hand on the arm of the couch and starts to push herself up.

“Stay.”

“Are you sure, cause I get the feeling that you really are annoyed with me and that somehow you think that Tom going off to the office with some woman is my fault.”

“I’m angry with everyone right now. I am so livid with Tom and I want to be the right hand of vengeance and go ballistic on his ass but in my heart I know I don’t have the right to the moral high ground because of what we did. You said we weren’t going to act on our feelings, why did you have to kiss me?”

She doesn’t call Lynette on her revisionist history, with the exception of that kiss Lynette has always been the one to push for the advancement of the physical side of their relationship but she isn’t about to let her off the hook entirely, “You weren’t exactly complaining at the time.”

“I know. You want to know the worst part? I’m not sorry about what we did I just regret the timing of it, if we had have held off until after the hussy reappeared I could have said that it was a response to Tom’s actions. I am seriously considering cheating on my husband and my major problem with this is that I could have done it with a whole lot less guilt, I am a horrible, horrible person.”

“No you're not, you are just in love and love makes you selfish and love makes you stupid.”

Lynette’s eyes seem alive for the first time since their conversation began, “When you say ‘you’ do you mean people in general or just me?”

“Everybody, I am not exactly immune now am I?”

“I guess not. I thought we weren’t allowed to mention the L word.”

“Cause that it working out so well for us.”

“She’s prettier than I am.”

She’s thrown a little by the non sequitur, “I doubt that.”

“You haven’t seen her.”

“No but I’ve seen you.”

“She is prettier and not only that she gets to look good, she gets to wear suits and makeup and has her hair styled rather than just cut and she doesn’t have children hanging off her every second of the day.”

“The day of the incident when I babysat the kids, you weren’t wearing a bra,” she can non sequitur with the best of them and Lynette definitely looks thrown.

“I’m not sure what you are getting at.”

“I notice things, I notice when your shirt is stained from Penny throwing baby food at you or when the knees of your jeans are grass stained from playing in the yard with the boys and I certainly notice when you are dressed up with make-up on. I’m trying to tell you that I notice you and you are gorgeous.” She traces her fingers along Lynette’s clavicle, pleased that the low cut top gives her easy access.

Lynette reaches to grab her hand before pulling they joined hands down to rest on her chest, “I always hated the start of relationships, everyone talks about it as a romantic and wonderful time but I never felt that way. I don’t think I felt butterflies in my stomach, I think it was really nausea. I used to spend all of my time worrying that they didn’t like me as much as I liked them and was always waiting for the moment that they’d see the real me and then decide they wanted out. I wanted to have some sort of device that would allow me to skip all the early stuff and just be in a relationship, I wanted the security that it would last. I don’t feel that way with you, I want to experience all the little moments and I am willing to make myself believe that the feeling in the pit of my stomach is butterflies but I think my feeling of security with you stems from the fact that I know that we can’t end up together, that we might have some fun but there is no happily ever after for you and I”

“You don’t think we’d make it?” She feels like her heart has been cleaved in two and drops her head so that her face is covered in a wall of hair.

A hand pierces through the veil of red and then fingers stroke gently along her jaw line, “You know we won’t, you’ve said as much to me.”

“That doesn’t mean that I want you to believe it,” she replies sadly, “if neither of us think this is forever, why are we doing it at all?”

“Because it seems we are incapable of not doing it?”

“That’s not really a good enough reason.”

“I don’t see why it has to be forever, I mean forever is a long time, I thought Tom was forever and I am sure you thought Rex was forever but if that was really true we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I told you I don’t want us to be together just because our marriages aren’t working.”

“You’re looking at it all wrong, I can’t speak for you but I can tell you that the major reason that my marriage isn’t working is sitting on this couch with me. This is not about me getting bored Bree, this is about the way I feel when I am with you.”

“If that’s true would you leave Tom for me if I asked you to?”

“I don’t think that’s a fair question, it’s not that simple but I can tell you this, if my life was different, if there were no children involved and I thought that you would be comfortable being in a relationship with me, then yes I would.”

“Do you really think we’d be happy?”

“I don’t know that anyone ever knows that for sure. I know that I feel better when I am with you than when I am not. I know that you’ve known me long enough to see many of my numerous flaws and you still seem to want to be with me, so I have to say that we’d have a chance.”

“What if I’m not enough? I wasn’t enough for Rex what makes you think I’d be enough for you?” She knows that Lynette must feel the tears that have escaped her eyes as the rivulets that they have produced are coming into contact with the fingers that continue to stroke her face but Lynette does not acknowledge them.

“First of all, Rex is an idiot and second of all, not that I think you really need a second of all, I am willing to stand by that first point, you seem to keep ignoring the way we feel. I want to be with you because I want to be with you and that’s not because Tom doesn’t fulfill me in some important way, it’s not about you not being Tom, it’s about Tom not being you.”

“I just wish I could be sure that if this goes wrong we’d still be friends, I don’t like to think about my life without you in it.” Lynette is apparently part gazelle and by no means confined by the fact that she is wearing a skirt as in the blink of an eye she has managed to launch herself from a lying position to straddling her and has set to work raining kisses over her face. When Lynette’s lips seek out hers she does not respond and Lynette leans back giving her a quizzical look.

“I thought you meant we were going to do this.”

“We are but not now, not like this.” Lynette is actually pouting and Bree almost laughs, “I don’t want our first time together to be clouded by the fact that you are mad at Tom.”

Lynette has moved onto scowling. “It doesn’t have to go that far can’t we at least mess around a little bit,” she punctuates her words by attaching her lips to Bree’s neck and sucking gently but Bree pushes her back.

“If we start this now I won’t be able to stop,” she softens her rejection by ghosting her lips across Lynette’s.

“You’re going to go home aren’t you?”

“I think it’s for the best.”

“I feel like you are constantly walking out on me. You come in and press my buttons and then you just leave me here wanting you, you’re driving me crazy.”

“I’m sorry but at least this time when I leave I am not walking out on us, I’m just saying later.”

“So what, you’re my girl now?”

“Baby I think I’ve been that for a long time now but if you need to make it official then yes, I’m yours.”

“Good,” she replies leaning into capture Bree’s lips again and this time Bree doesn’t resist. Lynette had just begun to nibble on Bree’s lower lip when they hear a car pull into the driveway. Lynette’s gazelle like skills return and she leaps from Bree’s lap and manages to straighten her skirt by the time Tom comes through the door. He doesn’t seem to feel that there is anything amiss with her being there and as he nods a greeting to her she is amazed that he fails to notice the big flashing neon sign above her head that reads ‘I Am In Love With Your Wife’ but apparently this is just as invisible to him as it is to Rex. He calls for Lynette as he reaches the top of the stairs and she responds, “I’ll be there in a moment, I just need to see Bree out.”

“I can see myself out.”

“I need to lock up anyway,” she turns back to make sure that Tom is no longer on the landing and grabs Bree’s hand again, “don’t worry I won’t sleep with him tonight.”

“You don’t have to make those kind of promises to me.”

“I want to and I know I don’t really have the right to ask but I would like it if you didn’t sleep with Rex tonight.”

“He will be remaining firmly on the fold-out bed.” Her statement causes Lynette’s eyes to sparkle as she leans in to kiss her goodbye. This may not be the story that she would have chosen for herself and Lynette is probably right, the last line of their tale is unlikely to be ‘Happily ever after’ but all Bree knows for sure is that she’s never believed in magic as much as she does right this second and she’s not going to let this end without a fight.