Warnings/Ratings: Explicit incestuous anal sex (because nothing says hurt/comfort like ass-fucking!)
Summary: After a particularly heinous case, Lilly begins to regret a conversation she had with her sister.
Notes: Spoilers for 2x14 - "Revolution." Takes place after the conclusion of the episode.
For geonncannon and wmnwholves.
Lilly listened to the old man describe how he'd killed his sister when they'd been just children. He'd strangled her, crushed her with his weight, screamed, and murdered the one person who really loved him. Lilly had forced him to describe it all. She'd torn at his old wounds until ugliness oozed from them.
After his confession, Lilly found herself outside, nauseous and wondering what she would have done to a defenseless man in a wheelchair if he hadn't broken.
Scotty had followed her. "What happened in there, Lil?" He grabbed her arm. "You crossed a line."
"I threw her out," Lilly said, yanking out of his grip. "I have to go find her." Find her and convince her I didn't just spend the last half hour looking into a mirror. She hailed a cab.
* * *
The house was desolate. The bar where her sister worked told her that Christina had the day off. The next destination was Scotty's place. Lilly was disturbed to realize she didn't really know what her sister did in Philadelphia. Not that Christina knew Lilly'd spent her morning interrogating grieving draft dodgers at funerals.
Not that it mattered.
Christina was sitting on the stoop outside of Scotty's building, looking perfectly the part of the lost little girl. Lilly felt bile rise up in her throat, along with fear. She could have killed Christina earlier. Had thought about it. Had wanted it. If they hadn't been been in a public place...
"I'm sorry," Lilly said quickly, walking toward her. "I overreacted."
Christina smiled, cautiously, like she was afraid Lilly would hurt her.
"I..." Lilly looked around, at the quiet street corner, at Scotty's name on the buzzer, and then back at her sister, who was pale from the cold. "Can we talk?" Lilly offered a gloved hand. "At home?"
* * *
They talked. Later, in the dark, they lay together under the covers, as close as sisters. Lilly was drifting off to sleep, on her side against Christina, her arm secure around Christina's waist. The cats were curled against their feet, on top of the blankets.
Christina began to speak. "Remember when we were little? Mom did such bad things--maybe that's why I am the way I am."
Lilly was silent.
"You always protected me. And even when she wanted to take you to the hospital that time, you wouldn't let her, because Child Services would come and separate us. Sometimes I thought you were going to die. For me." Christina rolled to face Lilly in the darkness. She dared to cup Lilly's cheek, and felt wetness against her fingers. "Bad things happen, Lil. Things that aren't on TV or in the movies. They happened to Scotty, too."
"Elisa," Lilly said hoarsely.
"He was lost, Lilly. I wanted to protect him. Just like you. I wanted to do something good, for once. Something noble, like my cop sister." She smiled earnestly through the darkness as she stroked Lilly's face.
Lilly turned her head so her lips brushed Christina's palm.
Christina said, "And you love him. I wanted to love what you love. Since I couldn't--"
"Love me?" Lilly finished the sentence, and then regretted it when she felt Christina's hand slip from her face.
"You're a police officer. I'm a tramp." Christina grinned as Lilly swatted her hip. "The only way we could find time together is if you were in vice."
Lilly chuckled. "I'm glad I'm not vice." She looked away from Christina's gaze. She could make out the shape of the clock on the mantle across the room, but the "I wanted to help Scotty, but I didn't know how. I felt paralyzed." She inhaled. "Thank you--for taking care of him."
"It was easy. Especially when you know what to do with your tongue--"
"Stop!" Lilly covered Christina's mouth with her hand. "Stop."
Christina giggled. Lilly leaned in and replaced her hand with her lips. The kiss was a tender reaffirmation. Despite Patrick, despite Scotty, despite Mom, they were still sisters. Christina held onto Lilly's shoulder, and parted her lips against the kiss.
Lilly slipped an arm around Christina's waist. They held each other; hugging more than embracing, chaste except for the firm pressure of their mouths. Christina ran her hand down Lilly's back. She knew where to gently scratch in order to get Lilly's lips to part.
Christina clung to her sister as she ventured into Lilly's mouth. Lilly allowed the intrusion, meeting the warm tongue with her own. They shouldn't be touching, again, after yesterday's revelations. One transgression might be forgivable in the heat of the moment, but now their kiss was deliberate, and the caressing strokes of Christina's hand against her lower back was desired.
Lilly drew back from Christina's kiss, not sure if she could do tonight what she'd have to walk away from in the morning. Christina's eyes were closed and she moaned as their lips separated. Lilly sat up. When Christina tried to speak she placed a finger on her lips. "I need a second," she said.
Christina stretched. Lilly placed her hand on Christina's stomach and felt the muscles shift under the slight belly. Wrapped in Lilly's sheets, Christina looked more like one of Rodin's nudes than the common street whore Lilly accused her of being. Christina's skin was soft and unblemished, and she looked far younger than she really was. She was closer to Lilly's age than either of them liked to admit--It made them too much the same.
Lilly leaned down and kissed Christina's shoulder. She wondered if she'd ever been as sweet as her sister. She'd traded away her own innocence for Christina's when they were children. Christina wrapped her arms around Lilly, tugging her closer. Lilly suckled at the hollow of Christina's shoulder and then shifted lower, painting a wet path to her breast.
Christina had only been trying to do what she should have done--Help Scotty and protect his innocence. It was one thing to have a lover like Elisa and never quite know her world. It was quite another to be abandoned in the Philadelphia winter. Christina had sacrificed herself, and Lilly's love for her, to help him. Lilly had to accept, as she closed her lips over Christina's nipple, that it was all her fault.
Lilly felt Christina's nipple harden in her mouth. Christina held her head, sighing, arching to give Lilly more of her breast. Lilly took what was offered, wanting to merge with Christina and take that innocence back. She rolled onto her side, pulling Christina with her. She ran her hands down Christina's back, over her ass, down her thighs.
Christina hadn't said a word since Lilly had told her to stop, but now Lilly wanted to hear her. "Chris," she said, as her hands stroked up the inside of Christina's thighs. She felt Christina's curls against her belly.
"Lilly," Chris said, biting back a whimper. "Please don't stop.... Don't..."
Lilly pushed between firm cheeks, finding the tight ring of muscle and circling it with her index finger. She spread the wetness from further below over the ridged skin. They'd done this many times before, starting at a younger age than Lilly could easily remember, but she was always afraid that she'd go too far. That Christina would stop her, or that she'd hurt her. She moved her lips to the side of Christina's breast and bit gently, listening to Christina's moans above her head.
"I need it," Christina said. "Please, Lil, don't..."
Lilly penetrated Christina, feeling the tight entrance resist, and then clutch at her finger. Christina moaned, moving against her. An act of possession and taboo within taboo. If the police force knew what Lilly did at night...
Christina was trembling at the violation. She pushed herself at Lilly's body, straining away from her finger. Lilly's thigh was between her legs, and her clitoris, peeking through swollen lips, rubbed against Lilly's skin. Lilly held her, touched her, and guided her to orgasm. Christina shook against her.
Lilly eased out of Christina. Christina curled into Lilly's body, and as Lilly slid up to embrace her, she realized Christina was crying. "I'm sorry," Lilly whispered. I'm sorry for the last 10 years. No--for the last 30 years. Christina only responded by clinging tighter, and pushing her face into Lilly's shoulder.
* * *
In the morning, Christina's packed suitcase sat by the bed as she slept. They couldn't go on like this -- Christina needed more than Lilly had to offer her, and more than Scotty, eventually, too. Already, the night was fading into memory.
The sun had been up for an hour but Lilly could still smell the dew. They'd closed another cold one yesterday. They'd killed another ghost.
Lilly could do it again, today.