Are You Sure?


FANDOM: Birds of Prey TV-Verse

PAIRING: Barbara/Helena

DISCLAIMER: These characters and situations do not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. I have borrowed them as part of my sanity maintenance.

RATING: Um that'd be a U.

SUMMARY: Helena's being Helena…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: *whatever* = comm speak.

THANKS: To darandkerry for taking time off school to mark my homework :)

Ficathon: BoP-Challenges - 12Days
Prompt/Word Count: 07. Not My Day - 1177 words.

E-MAIL: or feedback at  mrswoman LJ  @

The young woman ran backwards and forwards at full pelt, searching in every nook and cranny she could find.

"Are you sure it's this warehouse?" she shouted into the transceiver around her neck.

*Of course I'm sure, now get looking. You're wasting time.*

Time passed too quickly for the young woman as she failed to find any sign of life. Stopping for an instant, senses on full alert, she heard the arrival of two trucks pulling up outside.

"I've got visitors here. Can you see anything on the feed?"

*Affirmative. Two large trucks. No, wait, that’d be about twenty henchmen heading your way.*

She groaned inwardly as the voice called out almost too late.


"A little bit more warning next time, huh?"

*Moan, moan, moan. Now concentrate on what I've taught you, you'll be fine.*

Thuds and groans could be heard winging their way across the ether of Gotham as thug after thug fell to the ground. All the woman could hear, other than the splat of blood, and the cries of pain, was the running commentary in her ear.

*Don't forget that drop-kick, hit him now. Left, right, jab. Twist and thrust. Go.*

"Would you just shut the fuck up; I'm kinda busy down here you know."

*Language, language; I'm sure that's not how you've been trained.*

A hand stopped inches from her face, and she let out a squeak of shock. That one was too damn close. To hell with the voice's instructions, she was going to finish this her way, and with a flash and a swoosh, it was all over. She smiled sweetly.

"Call Gotham's finest; that's twenty goons all tied up, but still no sign of Billy-No-Name."

*Ok, ok, got it. Make your way to Tricorner Yards; I'm picking up some heat radiation. It could be who we're looking for.*

The city's protector trudged wearily across its streets, whenever possible taking to the roofs away from the weekend revellers. What had Barbara said? That it was the weekend of multiple balls; the Sorority Mixer, the GCPD's Annual Ball, the new art collection's Opening Ball, and so on. The streets were full, the crime annoying, and still no signs of the missing child.

She sighed and pushed her aching limbs a little bit harder. So far tonight, she'd visited Gotham's Light and Power Station because she'd said there were signs of a drop off, and there certainly had been a drop off, straight into the murky waters of the Gotham. Eyes flashing with anger, she glanced down at her duster, seeing and smelling the stains that still remained.

She’d then been up to Wayne Manor, a place she always hated attending unless accompanied by Barbara or Alfred, and from there she’d been directed down into the catacombs. Apparently, the kidnappers had a bone to pick with Batman, and depositing the kid in his back yard was the obvious choice. But no, all she'd found was tons and tons of Guano, and runny Guano at that.

Next had been Dixon Dock and the empty warehouse, and the acquiring of the multitude of bruises that covered her body right now. Barbara certainly had a lot to answer for.

Reaching Tricorner Yards, she allowed another groan to escape as all she could see was miles and miles of empty space.

She hadn't realised she'd spoken out loud until the voice stirred in her ear; entirely too happy to be dishing out orders.

*It's nowhere near miles and miles. There’re only 1,760 yards in a Statute mile, and you've only got three, yards that is. Or, you could say there’re 5,280 feet in a mile, while you've got just the two, and they need to be moving. Now, get going.*

"Hardeharhar." The young woman answered sarcastically as she moved into the darkened coal yards.

Moving stealthily she covered the three yards quickly. All were empty, save for rats and bats.

"There's nothing here, it's another bust. Any suggestions from your end?"

*Climb up on top of that coal heap, see if you can find anything more obvious.*

"Are you serious?"

*Yes, go on; it'll be a cinch for your climbing skills.*

At the top, breathing heavily, she had to admit it was a wonderful view. Looking out over the place she now called her city, she marvelled at the hidden beauty of the place.

Lost in thought of the city, her 'family', and her new love, she missed the roaring sound of the coal landslide that dumped her on her ass and caused her to take an impromptu slide down the mountainside. At the bottom, she remained, stunned, shocked and covered from head-to-toe in coal dust.

*Are you okay?*

"Okay, okay? No, I'm not fucking okay."

*How many times must I tell you to stop that language, hon?*

"Don't you hon me. I'm coming home; there's no sign of that kid anywhere in this city. I tell you it's a complete bust." She looked herself up and down and added in a disgruntled tone, "Certainly not my night, that's for sure."

She could hear laughter back at the clock tower, but at least, the voice offered her some comfort.

*Make your way to the Academy, relieve Alfred, and you get a ride home.*

About to give up the ride for a slow walk home, she heard the clincher that meant she'd be leaving it awhile longer before sinking into a hot bath.

*You can drive it home.*

There was no way, after a night like this, she was going to pass on the chance of driving the Hummer home; in fact, she could feel a long diversion coming on.

Half an hour later, she'd taken Alfred back to Wayne manor and was now waiting for her friend to leave the ball. Suddenly, she saw her, resplendent in an off the shoulder green dress. Her red hair flowing freely down her back; Barbara was simply gorgeous. She smiled to herself, being in love had certainly done wonders for her mentor.

Reaching the car, Barbara hoisted herself into the passenger seat, safely stowed her chair away, and then turned to her new chauffer, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Dinah, what have you been doing tonight?"

"I've been running around on a wild goose chase at the instigation of your girlfriend; searching for a missing child all over the city. Maybe we'll have better luck when you get back on Delphi; Helena's not the best you know."

"Oh, I'd hate to disagree there." Barbara raised an eyebrow and earned a sly chuckle from Dinah. "So, who's the child that's gone missing?"

"Um, Billy-No-Name."

Dinah didn't know whether to be mortally wounded at Barbara's loud laughter, or… as she was driving this rather large car, she allowed herself just a questioning sideways glance.

"Oh Dinah, it's certainly not been your night, Billy-No-Name is a case I made up many moons ago, when Helena needed testing. You've been had, I'm afraid."

Barbara's laughter was even louder as her young fried squealed in horror.

"I'll kill her; I'll damn well kill her."

~ ~ ~