Surely a Fail-Safe Plan


FANDOM: Birds of Prey TV-Verse

PAIRING: Barbara/Helena

DISCLAIMER: These characters and situations do not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. I have borrowed them as part of my sanity maintenance.

RATING: Um, there's some sex in this, so I guess it's got to be R (in the UK I'd go with 15).

SUMMARY: Barbara and Helena have reached the next stage of their relationship... maybe. .. it's another in the saga of these two that started with Here's The Rub and went on through As Sure as Sure Can Be.

Ficathon: BoP-Challenges - 12Days
Prompt/Word Count: What a Day - 1907 words.

E-MAIL: or feedback at  mrswoman LJ  @

Tonight was the night, of that, Barbara was certain.

Yet, in her life, nothing could be certain anymore. Gone were her days of spontaneity; gone were her days of spur of the moment lust.

And so she'd planned, again.

Just like when she'd planned her first date with Helena, tonight had been planned to the smallest detail. Dinah had been banished to Gabby's as soon as her sweep was over. Alfred had been banished to the manor, once he'd helped her by preparing a gourmet snack. And, as best as she could manage, the criminals of Gotham had, too, been banished for the night.

Barbara had quite deliberately turned off all Delphi's alarms, bar, of course, the all important ones pertaining to the Joker and Harley. If she could help it, nothing was going to stand in the way of her and Helena finally making good on all the magnetism they had shared for so long.

Everything was planned.

So, she asked herself for the umpteenth time, where was Helena?

* * * * *

Helena was sitting across from the clock tower, staring into the room that Barbara was now staring out of.

She knew tonight was the night, knew without a doubt that Barbara had everything planned.

And there was the problem; Barbara had planned.

Helena craved the spontaneity; craved the spur of the moment lust that she always had whenever Barbara was in the room.

But, Barbara insisted on planning, refusing with all that she was to just go with the flow. Just like their first date and just like the first month of this, their finally acting on the animal magnetism that had always been there between them.

Everything was planned.

So, Helena was having none of it.

* * * * *

At 10:13 pm, because that felt a whole lot better than 10:15 pm to the rebellious nature in Helena, she buzzed up to Barbara's lair.

Up in the clock tower, Barbara glanced at her watch, wondering who could be calling at this time of the evening.


A metallic voice muttered, "Your cab is here, madam."

"Cab? I didn't order any cab; you must have the wrong address."

Suddenly, a voice Barbara would recognize anywhere crackled across the intercom, "Barbara, get your ass down here, we're going out."

"Helena? We can't. I..."

"Yes, we can, now come on."

Barbara sighed. Helena always had the ability to spoil her plans. There again, if Helena didn't know the plans, she really wasn't spoiling anything at all, now was she?

She sighed again; there was always another night.

"Give me a minute to get the chair, I'll be right there."

Downstairs, Helena smiled. Her plan, or lack of plan, was working.

* * * * *

Just under three hours later, the two women were sitting on top of Wayne Tower.

One of the perks, one of the only perks as far as Helena was concerned, of being related to the man himself was having easy access to some of the better places in Gotham City, like here, looking out over the lights of their city.

Helena turned to Barbara and saw a peaceful look in her eyes. It was a look she rarely saw these days; it was a look she adored, and a look she never tired of seeing.

As if knowing exactly what Helena was thinking, Barbara turned her way and spoke.

"Thanks for this, Hel. You always seem to know when I just need to let go. I've been so charged up these past few weeks I've found it hard to do that."

Helena crouched to one side of the wheelchair and rested her hand on Barbara's knee. "I know you, Babs. What's got you so keyed up?"

Barbara thought about lying, thought about blaming everything on the crime levels in the city, but tonight, she felt so peaceful, she decided the truth was the best. She indicated between herself and Helena.

"This, this has got me worried." Seeing Helena start to interrupt, she held her hand up, requesting Helena let her finish. "Not worried as such, it's the best thing to happen to me in forever."

Helena couldn't hold back the smile.

"It's just, you know me, I'm worried about what we do next, and how we do it. These past few weeks of kissing and snuggling have been bliss, but..."

This time Helena couldn't hold back the laugh.

"Barbara, if you don't know what to do next, I pity poor Dinah asking your advice."

"Hel, I'm being serious here. Did you know I had everything planned for tonight?"

"I knew you had something planned but... hell, if I'd known it was that, I might not have deliberately sabotaged your plans." She looked up sheepishly to see Barbara's reaction to that confession; infinitely pleased when all she saw was a big grin on the redhead's face.

"You deliberately sabotaged my plans? Why?"

"Because I like to do things on the spur of the moment, and I was sick and tired of you directing our courtship. You must admit, this was a much better idea than getting all worked up about that, yes?"

Barbara looked confused. "Um, I'm not sure, Hon; I was ready, you know. I amready to take this to another level."

The dark haired woman pushed up to straddle Barbara's thighs. "And I'm ready, too, very much in fact, but let's not plan it all out, huh? Let’s just go with the flow for once."

Helena's kiss was enough to make Barbara forget every plan she’d ever made in her lifetime.

At least, for now.

* * * * *

Driving back towards the clock tower, Helena glanced over her shoulder, saw what she was looking for, and then pulled up to the curbside. "We need to get out here, Babs."

Barbara looked out of the windows, and then at Helena. "We do?"

"Yes, we do, come on." With that, Helena jumped out of the car and watched as Barbara transferred safely, reached into the back, and then locked the doors. Making sure Barbara knew to follow her; she strode over towards a nearby hotel.

At the desk, she signed in with little preamble as a bemused Barbara looked on; if she didn't know otherwise, she’d think that Helena had pre-planned this impromptu stop all along.

Helena turned to see Barbara watching her with a raised eyebrow.


"What are we doing here, Hel?"

Walking over towards the elevators, she turned and called over her shoulder, "You said tonight's the night, so..."

Barbara quickly wheeled after the retreating figure and, no matter how hard she tried to forget; all the way up in the elevator, her brain was trying to tell her this just wasn't possible. Two floors up, Helena kissed her again and, by the time they'd reached the penthouse floor, Barbara was beginning to think anything was possible.

As Helena threw open the door to their suite, a cold dose of reality hit the redhead.

"I can't just do this, Hel, you know that."

Helena smiled and held out a small case. "Yeah, I do. I also know I prefer to act on impulse, but that doesn't stop me knowing how to plan a little, too. Go on, you should find everything you need in there and, however long it takes, I'll be right here waiting for you."

In the bathroom, Barbara opened the bag and, sure enough, there was everything that Barbara needed. Going through her toilet routine with the practiced ease of somebody who had to do the same routine every six hours of her life no matter what, give or take the odd hour or so, now she was comfortable with the pattern.

Tonight though her hands trembled a little, tonight she had to make sure things were just right.

Thinking back over the other, albeit too few times, she’d performed this routine prior to having sex, she finally realized what had been missing before, the love and understanding that this was her normal. Maybe this time, with Helena, everything would be as near perfect as they could make it. At least, this time, Helena knew her, really knew her.

Finally ready, she wheeled back into the room to find Helena, sprawled back against the headboard, waiting patiently for her return. The smile that illuminated her face at Barbara's appearance settled the redhead's nerves immediately.

"How did you know all the stuff I’d need?"

"I've been there from the start, Babs; I've read the books, heard the speeches, got the T-shirt..." she chuckled, "... or I will have after tonight."

Barbara laughed with her; Helena was right, she’d been there through all the early rehabilitation visits and, yes, she remembered now, she’d also stayed with her through the embarrassing sex re-education talks.

This was going to work.

"Remember what Doctor Dorothy said, 'the only thing you need to remember is to talk to each other.' We can do that; we've always done that."

Barbara smiled and transferred to the bed, positioning the length of her body alongside Helena's, immensely gratified to hear an immediate hitch in the brunette’s breathing pattern. Turning towards her partner, she was stopped in her movement by Helena's next words.

"The paraplegia's here to stay, Babs, and so am I."

"Yeah, I know. Now, come here; I want to be spontaneous."

Helena laughed, "You spontaneous? Never; this has taken seven years already."

"Hel, I know we have to talk about this, but just shut the fuck up and, um, you know."

Barbara grinned as her words were swallowed by Helena's latest kiss. This time Barbara gave as good as she got.

Later, much later, Helena finally murmured her next words. "I think I've got it, hon."

"Got what?"

"I think I've mapped out the perfect route to you."

Barbara took a moment away from kissing the firm abdomen resting lazily to the side of her cheek. "Um, it's all been perfect..." Her words died as Helena quickly turned around and began to move down Barbara's torso, licking as she went. "... What are you doing now, Hel?"

Helena knew the only thing missing from the night so far was Barbara reaching orgasm; she smiled against Barbara's stomach when she realized she’d had no such problem, but she remembered clearly the words that had stayed with her for many a long night, and she knew she had the key.

She began to recite as she licked.

"The most sensitive area is the demarcation line between normal sensation and..." her words were absorbed into the sensation her tongue was giving Barbara.

The redhead's body quivered of its own accord and, not through any spasm, purely through the feelings being wrought at the so gentle flicking over her lower abdomen. Even now in the throes of something she hadn't thought possible in so long, the words of Dorothy echoed in her mind, 'Even women with complete spinal lesions may experience a build-up of sexual tension and release that...'

As she felt, really felt, the pressure of Helena's fingers deep under her cervix, and the beautiful tingling sensation of Helena's tongue trailing across her pubic bone, her thoughts changed into words.

"Fuck me, she's right, it's there, fucking hell, it's ... FUCK!"

Helena slithered up Barbara and once again laughed. "Who the fuck is 'she', Babs? The cat's mother?"

Kissing her lover with all the strength she had left, Barbara barely managed an answer, "Um, Dorothy was right, but the cat's daughter wasn't far behind, huh?"

~ ~ ~